by Teri Wilson
Lucas’s throat grew thick. It was suddenly impossible to swallow.
I should have been there for Nick. That’s what I should have done.
He searched Jenna’s gaze for a glimmer of hope, any sign whatsoever that she wanted him to stay. But all he saw there was pain—pain that he’d put there himself.
So he turned around and walked to the opposite side of the fence.
Back where he belonged.
Jenna stumbled toward the kitchen the next morning and yawned while she filled the coffee pot with water. Every bone in her body ached from tossing and turning the majority of the night.
She’d hated the way she’d left things with Lucas. No matter how angry she was, she couldn’t help the empty feeling that came over her every time she remembered the way he’d looked at her after she’d asked him to leave. His eyes had looked so haunted, so…desperate. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought he’d fallen in love. Not just with her, but with Nick and Ally too.
He hadn’t, of course. He said so himself.
This is why I stay unattached.
Those words had hurt her more than she wanted to admit. Because no matter how very hard she’d tried to guard her heart—no matter how many walls she’d put up, both literally and figuratively—somewhere along the way, she’d fallen hard for Lucas McKinnon. She’d actually started to wonder what it might be like to be a family.
Otherwise, she would have never felt so hurt when he’d broken his promise to Nick.
Which meant on some level, this whole disaster was her fault. She’d let down her guard and look what had happened: a disaster of hurricane-like proportions.
Not anymore, she thought as she poured water into the coffee maker.
They only had two more days left at Tybee. She just had to get through the next couple of nights, and she’d never have to see Lucas’s handsome face or his precious dog ever again. She and the kids could go back to Savannah and resume their normal lives.
Their normal, safe lives.
She pressed the start button on the coffee maker and took a deep, caffeinated inhale. “Mmm. Coffee.”
While her coffee brewed, she decided to pop into Nick and Ally’s room to wake them up. Maybe by the time she drank a cup—or three—of morning blend and got the pancakes going, they’d be dressed and ready to eat.
But when she pushed the door to their bedroom open, her heart leapt to her throat. Ally was sleeping soundly in her bed, but Nick’s bunk was empty.
Breathe, just breathe.
He was probably just in the bathroom or something…except she’d just passed the his-and-her double bathroom the kids shared and the door had been open, the room empty. Likewise, she’d had a good view of the deck from the kitchen and it had been empty as well. The entire house was so quiet she could hear seagulls squawking down at the beach.
“Ally!” She darted to Ally’s bunkbed and climbed the first few rungs of the ladder to shake her daughter awake. “Ally, honey. Where’s your brother?”
Ally burrowed further beneath the covers and answered without opening her eyes. “Don’t know.”
Jenna’s panic ratcheted up about ten notches. “He’s not in his bed.”
Ally lifted her head from her pillow and squinted. “He promised he’d be back.”
“Be back?” Jenna’s heart beat so hard and fast that she could hear it pounding in her ears. “From where?”
Where could Nick possibly be?
And why, oh why, did she have the sinking feeling that once she knew his whereabouts, she’d feel even less in control of things than she already did?
Chapter Sixteen
Lucas woke tangled in his bed sheets, feeling as if half the sand from Tybee’s pristine shores had been poured into his eyes. He blinked hard and tried to figure out why he felt so terrible. Why was there such a ferocious pounding in his head?
Then he remembered.
He remembered Tank lounging on the sofa in Jenna’s living room. He remembered Nick’s sad expression and the look of complete and utter disappointment in Jenna’s eye. He remembered feeling like he’d failed at something fundamentally important.
All he wanted to do was squeeze his eyes closed and shut everything out, but then he realized the pounding he kept hearing wasn’t coming from inside his head. It was real—and coming from the patio.
Someone was banging on his door, and that someone sounded a lot like Jenna. “Lucas!”
The knocking was constant, her voice piercing. But beneath the fog of sleep, Lucas heard a desperation in her tone that made him drag himself out of bed. She yelled his name three more times in the seconds it took for him to pull on a pair of jeans and make his way to the door.
“All right. All right,” he said. “It’s too early for drama.”
He’d hoped after a good night’s sleep, she would decide to accept his apology and they could end the summer on a good note. Clearly that wasn’t the case.
But he took one look at Jenna and knew she wasn’t there to rehash the events of yesterday.
She stood on the patio, pounding on his door with a glimmer of wild panic in her eyes. Then she said the words that made the floor feel like it was about to fall away beneath his feet.
“What is Doran’s Cove?”
He blinked. Doran’s Cove was the secret spot by the Cockspur Island lighthouse—the place where he’d taken Nick the day they’d gone for a bike ride instead of swimming laps at the pool. Even more significantly, it was the spot where Lucas had forced himself to swim through a riptide current to the lighthouse and back when he’d been Nick’s age. He’d done something monumentally stupid in order to prove himself when he’d felt like he couldn’t swim fast and hard enough…when he’d been let down and afraid.
Just like Nick had been last night.
No.
Lucas had told Nick that story so he would understand that he hadn’t always been the surfer and strong swimmer he was today. Lucas had simply been trying to identify with him and give the boy some inspiration. He certainly hadn’t meant for Nick to follow in his ill-chosen footsteps.
The next few seconds passed as a blur as Lucas sprang into action. He helped buckle Jenna and Ally into the Jeep, then ran to the driver’s side and guided the car onto Tybee’s Main Street in a cloud of dust and gravel. As they sped down the road that ran parallel to the bike path and the island’s historic trail, he tried to figure out how he was going to explain to Jenna why Nick would sneak out for an early morning swim in choppy waters. All she knew was that he’d told Ally he was headed to Doran’s Cove and he’d be back before breakfast.
Lucas wished he could convince himself that he was wrong and that Nick had just gone there to ride his bike. But that didn’t make sense. In his heart, he knew exactly what Nick was doing down there. Jenna, on the other hand, had no idea.
“I don’t understand why Nick would do this. He’s never snuck out before.” She stared hard out the window, as if she thought she might be able to see all the way to Doran’s Cove if she tried hard enough.
“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Lucas said quietly.
He had to tell her the truth. All of it. But he wasn’t sure how, because there were other things he had to say too. Important things—things that would lead to goodbyes.
“How did he even know about this place?” She shook her head.
Lucas couldn’t put it off any longer. He turned to look at her and then refocused on the road, swallowing around the dry lump in his throat.
In the rearview mirror, he could see Ally glancing back and forth between them. Her eyes swam with unshed tears.
Jenna went still. “What?”
Somehow, Lucas forced the words out. “I brought him here.”
“You what?” Jenna gaped at him as if he were a stranger. As if they’d never played volleyball together
on the beach or shared cracked crab beneath a sweeping beach sunset.
I’m still me, he wanted to say. We’re still us.
He inhaled a ragged breath. The cove was less than a quarter mile away. “This spot was really important to me when I was a kid. I thought maybe it would help.”
“How could this possibly help?” Her tone was incredulous.
Message received: Lucas didn’t know the first thing about kids or what they might need.
“I just wanted to give him some encouragement.” He gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles went white.
“I can’t believe you.” Jenna shook her head. “I can’t believe that you would do this.”
What was he supposed to say?
You’re right. I made a mistake. I wanted to be there for Nick, but I didn’t know how. I’m not his dad, but I care about him.
I care about all of you.
Now wasn’t the time. The last thing Jenna wanted to hear right now was that he thought he might be falling in love with her. Time was running out, though. Would he ever have the opportunity to tell her how he felt? Not only were Jenna and the kids going to be on their way back to Savannah, tomorrow he’d be leaving as well. But she wouldn’t want to hear about that right now either. All she could think about was Nick, and Lucas couldn’t blame her.
So instead, he said the only thing that mattered.
“I’m sorry.”
Jenna couldn’t look at Lucas anymore. It was too confusing. She was so angry with him, but at the same time, she wanted to cling to him. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and hold her like he’d done after their dinner on the pier.
She was tired of trying to keep everything under control. So very tired. Just once she wished she could lean on someone for help. Not just anyone, though.
Him.
Lucas.
It didn’t make any sense. He should have been the absolute last person in the world she’d want to turn to for comfort.
She was being irrational, that was all. Her heart was simply having a difficult time catching up with her head. Because she knew falling for Lucas had been a mistake. Clearly.
Why was it so hard to remember that fact, even when she was half out of her mind with worry about Nick?
She bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She refused to cry in front of Ally. Jenna’s daughter was sitting in the very middle of the backseat, eyes wide and searching.
Everything will be fine, she wanted to tell her. But every time she tried to say the words, they stuck in her throat.
Time was going by so slowly. Minutes had passed since she’d first spotted Nick’s empty bunk bed, but they felt like hours. After what felt like a century, Lucas steered the Jeep to the end of a sandy clearing marked by palm trees and southern red cedars swaying in the breezy sea air.
Jenna barely waited for the car to stop. The moment it came to a halt, she unfastened her seatbelt and jumped out. A shiver coursed through her, and she pulled her cardigan tighter around her torso realizing she was still wearing the pajamas she’d slept in the night before. There hadn’t been time to change.
Nick is okay.
We’ll find him, and he’s going to be just fine.
She blinked against the wind and ran a few steps. Lucas materialized beside her, and she wasn’t sure how. She hadn’t even registered the fact that he’d exited the driver’s side of the car.
“I see his bike.” She pointed at it, leaning against a tree with Nick’s familiar blue helmet dangling from the handlebars. A similar pink, child-sized bike was parked beside it.
At least he wasn’t here alone, although at this point, Jenna wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad news.
“Then he’s got to be down there,” Lucas said.
And despite all the very conflicting feelings she had about him at the moment, his presence beside her filled her with relief.
Behind Lucas, Jenna spotted Ally climbing out of the Jeep.
“Stay here, sweetie,” Jenna said.
She could only worry about one child at a time right now. She needed to know Ally was somewhere where she couldn’t get hurt or wander into the water while they were searching for Nick.
“Okay,” Ally called. The poor thing sounded terrified.
When all of this was over, Jenna would make things up to her somehow. Chocolate. Pancakes. A movie day snuggled under soft blankets. Just the three of them.
She’d been such a fool to think they needed someone else, least of all Lucas. If only he’d stayed on his side of the fence, they wouldn’t be here right now.
At the thought of her little protective barrier, Lucas’s words from the night before came drifting back to her, like a kite on the wind.
You literally built a barrier in your backyard because you’re too afraid to let people in. Well, you cannot write people off like that.
She shook her head, as if she could forcibly rattle them from her memory while she and Lucas raced toward the surf. In the distance, she could see three small figures in the water, making their way to the beach from the lighthouse just offshore.
“He’ll be okay. He’s a strong swimmer,” Lucas said, running beside her.
Just the sound of his voice took the edge off of her panic. As she and Lucas drew closer, the three swimmers stood upright in the shallows and waded onto the beach. Foamy waves crashed around their ankles, and Jenna recognized her son’s slender frame at once.
Thank God.
Thank God, thank God, thank God.
“Nick! Nick!” She ran faster, her flip-flops filling with sand.
She was close enough to hear his conversation with the kids on either side of him now—a boy and girl she recognized from summer camp.
“That was not as easy as it looked,” one of them said.
The little girl pushed wet hair from her face. “I think I drank like half the ocean. And maybe a fish.”
“Who cares, we did it!” Nick grinned. Then he looked up and his gaze collided with hers. “Oh no.”
“Who’s that?” The other boy paused.
“That’s my mom.” Nick stood still while his mother closed the distance between them and threw her arms around him.
He was soaked, covered in sand and goosebumps. Jenna didn’t care—she needed to touch him and inspect every inch of his wet little body to make sure he wasn’t hurt.
“Nick! Honey, are you okay?” She pulled back so she could search him for any signs of injury.
“Yeah.” He nodded as she ran her hands over his head.
Finally convinced her son was still in one piece, Jenna cupped his face and locked her gaze with his. “What were you thinking?”
“I thought I’d get home before you noticed.” The crisp morning breeze made him shiver, but his voice was even. Determined.
Jenna planted her hands on his shoulders, wishing she could somehow keep him there—just an arm’s length away. Always. “Do you have any idea how many things are wrong with that statement?”
He looked past her, toward Lucas, standing alone by the dunes.
Then he shook his head. “You don’t get it.”
He was right. She didn’t get it, nor did she want to. She just wanted her son to promise he’d never try anything this crazy and foolish again.
Why wasn’t he saying that to her? Didn’t he know what she needed to hear right then?
“You’re right. I don’t. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?” Her voice trembled with an unsettling combination of anger, confusion and relief. Likewise, her hand shook as she pointed toward the cluster of palm trees at the top of the dune. “I want you to go stand up there next to your bike with your sister and wait for me. We’re going to talk about this on the walk home.”
They couldn’t ride back to the house with Lucas. It would b
e too awkward, plus she’d need the walk to clear her head and talk to Nick without an audience.
Nick took a few steps until he was positioned halfway between Jenna and Lucas. Stuck in the middle. “Why can’t we go back with Lucas?”
Jenna fully expected Lucas to echo Nick’s suggestion and offer to drive them back home, but instead he shook his head. “Sorry, bud. I’ve got a few things I need to take care of.”
His voice was flat, his arms were crossed, and Jenna started feeling inexplicably panicked again.
Nick frowned. “Like what?”
Lucas’s gaze shifted to Jenna’s as he answered Nick’s question. “I’m actually leaving tomorrow.”
What?
Jenna’s heart thudded.
She and the kids still had two more days at Tybee. Where was he going? Lucas hadn’t said a word about leaving. Then again, she hadn’t given him a chance to say much of anything the night before. Or this morning. She’d been doing most of the talking for the past twenty-four hours.
And the more she said, the bigger the mess she made.
Lucas took a deep breath. “I’m going to go scout some locations for camps.”
Jenna wrapped her arms around herself. She felt instantly distraught upon hearing this surprise news, and then furious. Not with Lucas—with herself.
“Go on,” she said to Nick, motioning toward his bicycle. “I’ll meet you up there in a minute.”
This time Nick listened and jogged toward the palm trees without argument, leaving a trail of footprints behind him in the sand. Jenna’s gaze lingered on them for a moment, and then she turned to face Lucas.
“Look, this is my fault.” She didn’t want to blame him or argue. She just wanted to go back to the person she’d been at the beginning of the summer. “I should’ve trusted my gut.”
Lucas’s expression crumpled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
It meant she’d been right all along. Lucas was totally Mr. Slack. He’d been Mr. Slack this entire time and she’d been too busy falling for him to notice.
How could she have been so foolish?
