by James Huff
With that the entire scene evaporated instantly and the people were struck with such awe that not even tears could express it. Mother and Father instantly drew me into such a powerful hug that my back crackled under the pressure. But because that moment of silence was able to give me a bit of peace, I was able to smile…and for the first time since Grandfather died…to tell them that I loved them. Finally, we all walked out of the courtyard and to the Center City platform to board the pneumatic train to our flat.
As we entered the train, I followed Father to the very back, with Mother close behind. Mother was still clearly awe struck and remained silent the entire way back, but Father and I finally had the opportunity to talk about Grandfather and, surprisingly, he was the one to speak first. “My son,” Father began with tears welling up in his eyes, “I truly am sorry for what happened to Grandfather. He was my own father, but I know you loved him in a way that I never could.” I was moved with pity and so I decided to respond. “No Father, I know you loved him too. Don’t you ever believe that anyone loved him more or less. It’s just…” Father interjected before I could finish. “It’s just that he seemed to really understand you? Is that it, son?” His insight shocked me and it could be seen in my face as my jaw hit the floor. “Yes, Father. He was the only one who truly understood why I question the Alphae so much.” For once Father didn’t seem perturbed by this. “I know son, I truly do. I wish I could understand you like he did. Maybe then Mother and I would not have such a hard time healing you of this dissent.” Suddenly my face got red hot with rage. “Healing me!?” I retorted. “As if I have some kind of disease? Do you ever look at yourself at the Temple? Wailing around and beating your breast and convulsing? You think that is normal? You think I am the one with the problem? You are…” Before I could finish Father began sobbing like an infant. Mother took notice and went over to him and consoled him, not before shooting a wrathful look in my eye.
“There, there darling. He doesn’t know. He just doesn’t know how much he is loved.” I decided at this point that there was no use in trying to argue with them so I just sat there and buried my head in my hands, my thoughts going a million miles an hour and my heart pounding with rage. The train halted abruptly as we arrived to the platform below our level of flats. I ran out quickly and headed straight for the lift. I pressed the calling button rapidly until it finally opened up, and walked right into a family of three who jumped back, startled. I ignored them and tried to patiently wait to reach our floor. As soon as I reached the top I exited the lift and ran as fast as I could to the door of our flat. Apparently I had left the door unlocked so I barged straight in and started to wreak havoc on the place. First I went to all of the depictions of the Alphae and my parents. I punched the glass that held the frame until I was bleeding and then punched them even more.
Hot tears of fiery rage began to flow down my face as I moved on to the walls. I began punching holes everywhere I could. Eventually I hit a stud and shrieked with pain as my wrist snapped. Then I moved on to the calling monitor and just as I was about to strike it with my other fist, my parents walked in. Father walked right up to me and threw a punch toward my face, but I quickly dodged it and threw my own punch right in his gut. He winced with pain and doubled over, falling to the floor. Mother was hysterical and ran up to me, crying like a hyena. She caught me off guard and managed to slap me right across the face. Then I heard a noise that really made me panic. Apparently the neighbors had called the drone squad over, for before I could even get to my feet, I was once again being bound, hand and feet and dragged out of the flat. A blindfold was wrapped so tightly around my eyes that it cut into my eye sockets. I could feel myself being lifted into some kind of vehicle and then a sharp jolt to my neck and then…blackness.
I awoke suddenly to a violent screeching sound. Everything around me was black. I was reclined back on some kind of cold metallic surface. The screeching began to intensify. I was still blindfolded but the enveloping darkness around me made it even more intense. Then I could see blinding flashing lights through the blindfold. My head started spinning as the lights flashed ever more rapidly and the screeching increased to such a degree that I literally felt my ear drum in my right ear burst and could feel a warm oozing liquid drain down the side of my face. I tried to scream when I realized I couldn’t. My jaw had been locked into some kind of rubber-insulated metallic claw. My entire body was strapped to this reclining chair…or whatever it was.
Suddenly the screech stopped and all was silent. But the lights went from white flashes to flashes of red and then yellow and blue. My senses were being over stimulated to the maximum. I started to vomit, but because of the contraption that locked my jaw I began choking on it. I panicked. I knew that this could kill me if I was not released. “Oh Grandfather,” I thought, “I am ready to go…I want to be with you. Please let me die here…” I wept bitterly and the tears mixed with the blood on my eye sockets and caused them to burn. Then, without warning, all of my bindings were loosed and snapped apart with a jolt that caused my heart to skip a beat. The flashing lights ceased and it was dark for just a moment until a light was switched on above my head. Whatever I was lying on reclined backward to a horizontal position. I heard the familiar humming of a drone as it seemed to hover beside me. All of my clothes were ripped off but the blindfold remained. I felt a cool paste being spread across my body like some kind of thick sugar water. The light above me changed from white to a violet color and began to emit a humming noise. I could feel the heat of it across my body as it seemed to be scanning me.
Compared to the painful torture of tantalizing over-stimulation, the scanner’s warm light comforted me. A sliver of my heart was torn, though. I wanted to be reunited with Grandfather. But even more than that, now that I knew I would survive…I wanted to seek revenge against the Alphae with every breath in my body. But that thought soon subsided when the scanner returned to its original position and I could hear the familiar “zing” of a display monitor and felt my blindfold being removed for this first time since I was bound in my flat. And, of course, the first thing that I saw was the Alphae. He did not look stern. Nor did he look loving. In fact for the first time ever he had a look of cold apathy on his face; complete neutrality. He began to speak in a cool monotone, forsaking his usual robust speech. “State your name citizen.” I blinked dumbly at the image as I slowly formed the words, “John…uuuhm, John Crawling.” I was still disoriented from the whole affair earlier.
The Alphae continued. “Do you know why you are here?” Again I just stared blankly at him. He did not wait for me to respond. “You are here because you violated the Initial Protocol of Merciful Modification. We have updated your status to the Progressive Protocol of Severe Modification, hereby justifying the use of intensive modification treatment of Dissention Deniability Disorder. Please enjoy the following educational program on your current diagnosis and treatment plan. And remember that all things done be unto the glory of the Alphae.”
The scene changed to the familiar Wastelands. The words “Dissent Indefinite Proximity Limit” flashed across the scene so fast that I could barely perceive it. The only reason I could was because of the active mind that Grandfather taught me to master. That was how he taught me to truly “live” in his stories. I noticed everything. And beyond that, I transcended the observation itself and explored the realms of the limitless imagination. The duality of my inner world perplexed even the brilliant mind of my grandfather, that dear old soul. But these memories only made the harrowing pain of my current environment cut ever deeper into my being.
The scene remained the same, except that I could just barely make out what looked like a small child wandering naked and emaciated through the desert-like region. Eventually he came into full view and his flesh could be seen melting off him slowly as he screamed so eerily and painfully loud that I could feel it in my soul and it made me gag. Then the scene changed completely. There was a room with a desk and a boy, about my age, sitting there drawing
pictures of the Alphae. Then the scene changed a third time and this same boy was seen laughing and dancing and singing with what appeared to be his parents in the most beautiful garden I had ever seen…on a display monitor at least. Then I caught another flash of words, this time lasting a bit longer. “Compliance Undeniable Eternal Success.”
Finally the scene returned to a blank blue slate and the image of a man in a white lab coat appeared. He looked to be around my father’s age, was clean cut, and had short black hair and olive skin. He was holding some kind of pointing device in his hand. “Greetings citizen. I can imagine that you are feeling a bit disoriented from all of this. I am sure you miss your family and I know you must be looking forward to entering the walls of Institution with your fellows.” I gazed sheepishly at the screen, unaware of whether this was a calling monitor at this point or just a regular display monitor. I shrugged off the thought and just listened. “We mean you no harm citizen and we are almost done here. My name is Dr. Zatts and I am the Regional BMF clinician of East Quarter Metropolis. It is my responsibility to oversee all of the disorders classified under dissent. Thanks to the mercy of the Alphae, dissent is now the only disorder classification that we currently modify as all other disorders were removed by our wonderful and glorious god.”
At that I had to stop him. “What about my grandfather? The Coronation Drone determined he had an aneurism. Sounds to me like you just contradicted yourself. Wouldn’t a death like that be caused by a disorder that you or the Alphae, or whoever, could cure? How on Earth do you expect me to trust you? Look what you just…” I was cut off. “Citizen, the Alphae has been forced to progress the level of your current protocol in order to better secure your position as a citizen of Metropolis and prevent your exile. The pain you went through a few moments ago is nothing but an act of love compared to the torments of the perilous Wastelands that lie beyond our borders. The child you saw was real. The Alphae’s special Research Drone Surveillance unit caught that footage of a child who was exiled.”
At first I thought that it must be a lie, but then I thought of who and what the Alphae truly was. And I was floored by the irony that no one else seemed to notice. Was I the only one? What of this man? Is he a true believer? Was he a former dissenter like myself, as Mr. Karren had suggested about many of these men? And others who now serve in the higher echelons of the Alphae’s infrastructure? These men and their drones could torture me day and night but they will never stop my questions. But rather than become irritated by getting cut off again, I decided just to lie back and listen. Not like I could do much else anyway.
“You see, Mr. Crawling, the Wastelands are filled with radioactive air particles that have infected the landscape outside of Metropolis as a remnant of a long forgotten war. But since these particles have broken down over the years, their effects on the human body have dramatically slowed down. First it begins with a fever. The face and the body then begin to burn and develop rashes. This all happens slowly over a period of time and becomes increasingly more painful. Until you see the child now, the flesh rotting off his then decaying body. But he will not die a quick and painless death.”
Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head as I began to look back and realize what these people at the BMF were doing. They were merely switching back and forth between threats and sooth. Why did I not see this before? They have been placating my emotions the entire time. And I thought the Alphae’s kingdoms were doing that. I guess they are just more subtle at the BMF. I figured this man was just going to give me a long and boring speech about how the Alphae loves me and would never want me to be exiled and so all of this is for my protection. I have heard it all before. First from my parents and now from these clowns. It was nothing new to me. So I just sat there and ignored him for a while. I must have closed my eyes because the man on the monitor stopped mid sentence and it grew silent. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “No…I have not been paying attention to you these last few minutes. I see no point. I know what…” Again I was cut off.
“Citizen, your undivided attention is necessary while I explain to you your diagnosis and treatment plan.” I found myself suddenly laughing out loud. But the man did not seem to care about my mockery of his agenda. He simply continued. “You have been diagnosed with Dissention Deniability Disorder or DDD. Not only are you in denial of the divinity of the one supreme god, creator, and ruler of the entire cosmos, but you are in denial of the own disordered nature of your dissent.” The man paused and pointed his laser upward as it emitted a beam of green light. It hit a point on the blue background and an image of a brain appeared on the screen. He pointed to each hemisphere of the brain and as he did so each one glowed. The left side glowed red and the right side glowed blue. “You see, Mr. Crawling, you are currently experiencing a state of dissociation from reality due to a hemispheric misalignment that has occurred from your over active right hemisphere. The right hemisphere of the brain is known for creativity and intuition as well as imagination. But these things are all in the domain of the Alphae, for he alone is the only true creator” He clicked his pointer and the image faded. He removed his glasses and rubbed them between his fingers as he examined them. He then replaced them on his face and continued.
“Your grandfather’s stories are the result of some of the first cases of this underlying cause and of DDD, as they were written down in those days when insanity roamed the world. Those were the days when people actually believed that they could create too. But, in the words of the Alphae, those foolish mortals shall perish in the realm of their own folly. And they did. Little by little they were either exiled or slaughtered due to their delirium that threatened to infect the entire city. It was this one disorder that was responsible for the civil wars that left West Quarter Metropolis in its state of disrepair and damaged the lives of countless innocents. Innocents humble enough to realize that to the Alphae alone is given the power to create.”
“And so we come around full circle. And we also come to what I believe is the more fascinating part of this phenomena. The genetic lineage that produces the hemispheric dissociation which causes DDD skips a generation in what has come to be known as the Zeta line. While in days past citizens who were of this genetic line were immediately exiled upon the age of 13, as the symptoms manifest in puberty, in modern times the Alphae reigns as the Merciful Judge. As you could see in the Rite of the Cosmic Master, he has taken the role of a gentle father. And, hence, the BMF is born.” Dr. Zatts grinned with pride as he raised his chin and the Alphae appeared above him, glinting in response.
The doctor then looked at me as the Alphae dissipated. “Do you understand the basis of your diagnosis Mr. Crawling?” I simply nodded. He went on. “Good, now we can begin to describe your treatment plan. It will be divided into various stages. The first stage will include chemical treatment as well as the regular one-on-one appointments with your BMF counselor, Mr. Thomas.” Mr. Thomas was the only one of these people that I actually didn’t mind. He seemed okay. Dr. Zatts continued.
“Due to the strict intervention protocols of the BMF, as outlined by the Alphae himself, we are not permitted to tell you what these stages of treatment are, or how many there are. We can only describe them to you as you are going through them.” I grew nervous. There was no telling how many stages there were to this so called treatment or what they were. It made me nervous. He went on. “The first stage of your treatment includes the receiving of an implant under your upper right arm. In it is contained a special, time-released chemical that will periodically secrete a special medicinal formula designed to help you feel more emotionally at ease with compliance.” I shot an angry look in the direction of the calling monitor. I retorted, “And what if I refuse this treatment? You can’t give me anything against my will. I will…” I was cut short once more.
“You will be put into a chemical induced coma for 24 hours following our discourse here today. If you attempt to stop us, we will use restraint and force as necessary. The implant you will b
e receiving requires weekly booster shots in order to continue to provide your body with the necessary medicinal benefits.” I laughed at him and opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off before I could even form a single word. “Should you fail to use the booster within a 6 hour time frame proceeding the week’s end, there is a hidden chemical in the implant itself that will begin to break down. As this chemical break-down occurs, it will begin to release a toxin that will slowly and painfully eat away your flesh. This is to remind you of your fate should you choose to remain disobedient and are exiled. It will not become lethal until the 13th week, and any damage done in the meantime will be permanent. I suggest you give yourself the booster shot at the exact time frame after your one week is up.”
Now I knew that there was nothing I could do to avoid this. My heart was changing, and my mind began to give in to defeat. There really was nothing I could do anymore. Right then and there I decided to stop fighting it. I had to just force myself to pretend that I was in compliance for long enough that it became second nature. I knew that was the only way I could survive behind the walls of Institution. It was the only way I could keep my sanity. But deep down I knew that the anger, the rage, and the rebellion would explode out of me like a violent volcanic eruption from a seemingly inactive mountainous peak. I just knew it. I don’t remember the rest of what that man said. The next thing I knew I was waking up in my room in my parents’ flat.
