United States Of Apocalypse

by Mark Tufo

  Darlene threw herself on the bed and cried into her pillow. She cried for her dad and her family in New England. The life she’d left behind forever. The unknown that was about to befall her. Fear of the Sawyer family and what they were capable of doing. She sobbed for Herbert and Pheebz, who had taken her in and were too kind to have to deal with this at this point in their lives.

  Darlene wanted to scream and throw things around the room and wail until her throat was raw. If she was home alone she might have given in, but she willed herself to relax.

  She turned onto her back and stared at the dark ceiling again, knowing this would be a nightly thing while she tried to sleep, that this would likely be the last bedroom she was ever in, since the home her parents had built was probably gone.

  Their American Dream was over. Looted and/or burned to the ground. Every last nickel her mom and dad had saved to build the house so Darlene could have a better life was gone.

  Darlene rolled over and buried her face in the pillow again as another wave of sobbing began.

  Chapter Eleven

  Day 3 I-70

  Someone was knocking on the front door. Darlene rose with a start and gripped her Desert Eagle. At some point, she’d fallen asleep, but it felt like she’d only closed her eyes a minute ago.

  She went into the hallway. Why hadn’t Herbert awakened her to take a shift to watch for trouble? She didn’t know what time it was, but it was still dark outside. She wondered if this night was ever going to end.

  Pheebz was standing in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, trying her best to smile. “Rosemary and the boys are here. I just made another pot of coffee.”

  She looked like she’d also cried herself to sleep last night. Darlene glanced at the clock on the wall. It was closing in on six a.m., and she knew she’d only slept for a couple of hours.

  Herbert led two young boys, perhaps ten years old, into the kitchen. He pointed at the kitchen table without a word, but the look on his face told everyone he wasn’t playing.

  “Can I get you boys something to eat?” Pheebz asked.

  They both stared at Darlene. Both boys looked tired and half-asleep.

  “Who do we have here?”

  Darlene couldn’t help but see Rosemary, who was wearing a bright purple jumpsuit with a large, red-rimmed sunhat. Her pink reading glasses were hanging from her neon yellow chain, and she wore pink house slippers on her feet.

  The woman laughed. “Holy Mother of God, she looks just like Susie,” Rosemary said.

  “Sis, I am warning you. Shut up,” Herbert said.

  Rosemary waved a hand at her brother but continued to stare. “What’s your name, darling?”

  “Darlene.”

  “Darlene—darling. How cute is that?” Rosemary glanced at her two boys sitting quietly at the table. “I hope you two are going to be well-behaved, unlike last time.” She looked back up at Darlene. “There was a little incident.”

  “They tried to burn down my barn,” Herbert said, anger in his voice. “You swore you’d pay me for the damages, too.”

  Rosemary shrugged. “It’s too late now. Besides, I stuffed my car with food and jugs of rainwater. That should be payment enough.”

  “Rainwater?” Pheebz asked.

  “I’m not going to use the tap in my house. The government fills it with all kinds of bad things. Lead and poisons. I’m not going to be controlled by them, so I collect my own water and purify it myself,” Rosemary said.

  Pheebz took down a box of Cheerios from the cabinet.

  “Oh, the boys can’t eat any of that poisonous processed garbage. I brought them a container with their breakfast.”

  “More for me,” Herbert said.

  Darlene could see how uncomfortable he was having his sister in the house. Although so far, she just seemed eccentric, her kids too exhausted to be the handful Darlene knew they were going to be.

  “The boys and I are on a regimented eating structure. I’ll need three shelves in the refrigerator for my things,” Rosemary said.

  “No. There isn’t enough room already. I told you to bring canned goods and bottled water, not prepare food for the weekend. Unless you’re planning on going home anytime soon, I suggest you do a quick inventory of your car and not waste my time bringing in weird food,” Herbert said.

  “It isn’t weird. It’s healthy. Vegan food is delicious,” Rosemary said. “I prepared meals for the next week for all of us.”

  “I don’t eat tofu,” Herbert said. “Last time you were here, you made me grill every last piece of meat I had because you were on some other silly diet.”

  Rosemary sat down at the table. “I’m a vegan. I only grow my own food now, too. You’ll need to plant some vegetables. Lord knows you have enough wasted room on the farm for it. The boys and I only have enough food for a couple of weeks.”

  “Then in two weeks you’ll either starve or eat my poisonous processed garbage. I can’t plant a magical crop for you to start eating tomorrow, and even if I could…” Herbert closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “You know, this is so like you. The world is coming unglued around us, and you’re on some new fad lifestyle again. Those poor boys. No wonder they’re so out of control.”

  “They haven’t said a word, have they?” Rosemary answered, looking down at her nails. “And this is not a fad. This is my new life. A better life, free from government interaction and their mind control.”

  “Did you say mind control?” Herbert shook his head and looked at his wife. “I’m begging you to go get some help when this is back to normal. Real help, not some backwoods country lunatic in a trailer out by the highway. An actual hospital with real medicine.”

  “I took real medicine for years and it only made me sad,” Rosemary said.

  “You took it for a month, decided you were cured of your multiple problems, and ran away,” Pheebz said quietly.

  Growing uncomfortable eavesdropping on this family squabble, Darlene slipped out of the kitchen and went outside to the front porch.

  As if what Rosemary was saying wasn’t out-there enough, she was driving a weathered Volkswagen Bus that looked like a movie prop from Easy Rider.

  Darlene scanned the driveway down and out of sight, but there was no one else out here as far as she could tell. Of course, with all the trees on the property, especially in front, anyone could sneak up and get close to the house. Too close.

  She wondered if Herbert had a pair of good chainsaws. It would be sloppy, but they could cut down the sight lines with a couple of hours of solid chainsaw action. Darlene had never actually used one and thought it would be fun.

  Her eyes went back to the VW. She was expecting it to be overflowing with bags and boxes, but it looked empty. Darlene could hear everyone inside still engaged in a heated debate. She walked to the vehicle and peered inside the big windows.

  There were three duffle bags and two large boxes in the back and nothing else.

  Darlene knew Herbert was going to lose his mind when he saw how unprepared his sister was. She had no idea what was happening and what was in store for any of them.

  The front door opened and both of the brothers came out and went directly to the VW, opening the door.

  “Hey, guys, I’m Darlene,” she said awkwardly. Both boys were staring at her. They were like little robots.

  They both said “ma’am” at the same time but nothing else, taking the duffle bags and box out of the vehicle.

  “Need some help?” Darlene asked. She still didn’t know their names, and she had a hard time telling them apart except for the different clothes they were wearing. Luckily, as crazy as Rosemary seemed to be, at least she wasn’t dressing her kids in matching outfits.

  “We got it, ma’am,” one of the boys said as he walked past her and up the steps.

  The other brother smiled sheepishly at Darlene but looked away when she met his smile.

  Darlene sat down on a chair and sighed. It was so beautiful on the farm. The air was clean and so peac
eful. She hadn’t grown up in the big city by any stretch, but this felt like God’s country, a description she’d never understood until this moment.

  With Boston under attack and her unable to reach any family on the other side of the country, Darlene knew she needed to make the most of what she had right now. She was safe and had food and power. People who would protect her. Even with the unknown threats of nuclear war and the even closer Sawyer family, she was still better off staying put.

  The front door opened and Pheebz walked out, taking the seat next to Darlene.

  “Any chance you have a cigarette?” Pheebz asked, looking at the driveway.

  “I don’t smoke.”

  “I haven’t in years. Herbert would kill me if he knew I was even asking you,” Pheebz said.

  Herbert began yelling inside.

  “I’m guessing the three duffle bags and box weren’t enough supplies to make a dent,” Darlene said.

  “The food she brought amounts to some dried fruits and veggies. I feel sorry for the twins. They’re so wild because they never know what she’s going to put them through each week. Heck, each day sometimes. Rosemary should’ve never had children. They do say the Lord works in mysterious ways, and this might be one of the bigger times,” Pheebz said.

  Darlene wanted to ask about Susie but bit her tongue. It wasn’t her place to bring up something they didn’t want to talk about. Instead, she changed the subject. “How long have you and Herbert been married?”

  “Some days it seems like a week.” She grinned. “Most days it feels like we’ve been together a hundred years,” Pheebz said and laughed. “I love the man to death, and he loves me right back, no matter how much we disagree and fight at times. Two stubborn people should never get married. Thirty some odd years later, we keep telling ourselves that same thing.”

  Rosemary came storming out the front door, her twins gripped in each arm dragging behind her. She stopped on the top step and glared at Pheebz.

  “Do you know what your husband did?”

  Pheebz winked at Darlene. “Go back inside, Rosemary. You’re not leaving and you know it. You do this every visit.”

  “This time it’s different. My brother insulted me. Made fun of my lifestyle and said it wouldn’t last another week. He doesn’t know his own flesh and blood,” Rosemary said.

  “Go back inside and pout for a while,” Pheebz said. “Herbert is under a lot of stress right now. We have six mouths to feed and the Sawyers are sniffing around looking for a weakness. He’s probably worried there isn’t enough food for everyone since you brought twigs and dirt with you.”

  Rosemary looked even more annoyed now and began wagging her finger, releasing one of the boys. “How dare you. Wait until your precious processed meats and cheeses go bad or you run out. You’ll be begging me to share some of my food.”

  “It isn’t food, Rosemary. I saw it. You’re going to starve those poor boys. No wonder they have no strength. They just sit and stare into space,” Pheebz said.

  Rosemary shook her head. “My boys are fine. Always have been. My brother needs to stop trying to meddle in my affairs.”

  Pheebz stood and pointed her own finger. “He’d do it if you’d stop involving everyone in whatever your next harebrained scheme was. And you called him yesterday. Remember? You swore you’d be over with plenty of food for everyone. He stressed it. I don’t see your guns, either.”

  Rosemary looked away. “I gave them away. I...I don’t believe in violence.”

  Pheebz turned and grinned at Darlene, shaking her head. “This from a woman who once shot a man for trying to look up her skirt. Then had the nerve to flirt with the judge so much she got off with a warning.”

  “That is not how it happened,” Rosemary said defensively. “It was self-defense. I thought my life was in danger.”

  “Well, I’ve kept my mouth shut for too long, Rosemary. You drive my husband crazy, and it stops right here.” Pheebz waved her hand. “Go. Leave if you want to. No one is going to beg you anymore to stay.”

  “Fine. Boys, go get our bags and food. We’re leaving.”

  Herbert opened the door and dropped the duffle bags and the box on the porch, patting both boys on the head but not saying a word.

  “Less food for you,” Rosemary said.

  “Actually, a lot more for us. You’ll run out of berries in a week if you’re lucky. We have enough food to last awhile, plus fruit trees all over the property. The blackberry and strawberry bushes will yield quite a bit for the three of us. In fact, I just found a wild blueberry patch last week. I was fixin’ to bake a nice pie to eat,” Pheebz said.

  Darlene could see the twins pass a look back and forth. The poor little guys were hungry for real food. She hoped Rosemary would come to her senses sooner than later and feed them.

  “Well, you enjoy your processed foods and your junk food and your cancer-causing soda. I’m going back home after a trip to the health food store,” Rosemary said.

  She grabbed the boys again and went to the VW Bus, nearly tossing them inside. She stormed around the front of the vehicle, looking over to make sure all eyes were on her.

  Herbert came out and sat down in the chair Pheebz had been sitting in, waving to his sister as he did.

  “I’ll leave,” Rosemary said.

  “You’ll get a few miles before you see how silly you’re being. If you drive away, you can only come back under my rules. My house, you know. Those boys are my nephews and I have a say in how you’re treating them and yourself, Rosemary. You need help,” Herbert said.

  “Go to bloody Hell.” Rosemary climbed into the car and drove away. She floored it down the dirt drive, kicking up dirt and dust.

  “She’ll be back before dinner,” Pheebz said.

  “I give her until lunch,” Herbert said.

  Darlene laughed. “After lunch but before dinner.”

  “Losers do dishes for the next week,” Pheebz said.

  “You’re the real winner. Even if you lose. You do them every day,” Herbert said.

  Chapter Twelve

  Day 3 I-70

  The red barn was in the best shape of all the non-house buildings on the vast property, but it wasn’t a secure structure by any stretch of the imagination. The fact that it was close to the main house helped, but they didn’t have enough people who could shoot a gun to defend more than the home.

  Herbert was staring at the barn when Darlene finally got off the three-wheeler and walked up. She was exhausted and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” she said to Herbert.

  He looked at her and smiled before looking back to the house. “Are those brats still inside?”

  “That’s mean,” Darlene said, only half-joking. Pheebz had won the bet. Rosemary had pulled up only an hour later and apologized for what she’d said, hugging everyone including Darlene.

  The rest of the day had been uneventful. Darlene and Herbert tossed ideas back and forth and drove the property in his pickup truck to make sure everything was still in place.

  They’d all had a quiet dinner. Rosemary ate her vegan food with the boys, who didn’t look too happy. Bedtime came early for all of them, and that night Herbert let Darlene have a shift on the porch.

  Today was so far so good with the boys. They weren’t allowed to watch evil television, so they were forced to sit and read books on the couch. Darlene didn’t know how long it would last, and she felt sorry for them.

  “Mean. You think I’m mean? This visit they’re not allowed to do a damn thing but sit like they were in a cult. The last time they were over, my damned sister told me they had no rules. No rules! Anything and everything they did was part of ‘the learning process.’ They had no bedtime, ate everything they found, and could touch and do whatever they wanted. I finally had to restrain them when the green barn was torched,” Herbert said.

  “How many barns do you have again? Every one is a different color?”

  “Several barns on this
property. There used to be multiple homes a long time ago, but the homeowners moved and sold their portions to my grandfather. He tore down the houses for fields but kept the barns so he’d have somewhere close to each for storage.”

  Darlene sighed. “Now you could hide a small army in each and we’d never know.”

  “I think we might need to tear them down, or at least empty them. No use in leaving good supplies in a barn we can’t defend,” Herbert said.

  “Do we have room for all of it?” Darlene asked.

  Herbert shook his head. “Not even close. I’m a bit of a pack rat, but most of the things I hold onto are worth something. Especially now. The problem is also going to be my damn sister and her kids will want the extra two bedrooms permanently.” He stared at Darlene.

  “Which means I’ll be sleeping on the couch,” Darlene said, finishing the thought.

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “It isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault,” she added quickly. “Just a lot of people jammed into one house that was probably too big for you and Pheebz.”

  “Once Susie...” Herbert stopped talking and began walking toward the red barn.

  Darlene gave him his space to work out whatever it was he was still dealing with. There was no way she was going to pry. Obviously, Susie was their daughter who’d passed away somehow.

  “Are you coming? We got work to do,” Herbert yelled without looking back.

  Darlene followed Herbert into the barn and marveled at all the stuff he had packed into it. Three riding mowers, a wall of various chainsaws, weed trimmers and leaf blowers adorned one side. The back wall was overflowing with tools and toolboxes, all stacked neatly and taller than Darlene.

  “What’s under the tarps?” Darlene asked.

  The other side had large objects covered. She counted at least six, although some tarps were covering over two or three items.

  “My vintage car collection, although it’s mostly rust. One day I was going to refurbish a few Mustangs and other muscle cars, but old age got in the way. I just never got rid of them, and if they stay covered, I can make pretend I’m still young enough to do the work,” Herbert said.