The Emperor's Ostrich

by Julie Berry

  He pointed straight at where Begonia and Key crouched in the bushes.

  “Why, that lying sneak!” Begonia hissed.

  “Thank you,” cried the soldiers. “We’ll catch him now!”

  “But don’t harm my postrich, whatever you do!” cried Poka.

  The soldiers spurred their horses toward the woods. “What’s a postrich, anyway?” one of them called out.

  “You’ll know it when you see it,” Poka called after them. “I’m counting on you, gentlemen, in consideration of my valuable help, to bring me back my giant bird.”

  The mounted soldiers entered the forest.

  Begonia and Key made themselves as small as possible and held their breath.

  The soldiers paused to consider which way to go.

  “Look at those footprints,” one called to the leader.

  “A cow made those, I’d say,” said his companion.

  The first shook his head. “No, those.”

  Another soldier whistled in amazement. “‘Giant bird,’ he said? What kind of a monster is this?”

  “The bird can’t be as dangerous as someone who could fight his way past the palace guards and kidnap the emperor,” the leader said. “Follow that trail.” Moments later, they were gone.

  19

  ONE BAD BUSINESS, AND THEN ANOTHER

  “Poor Alfalfa,” Begonia moaned. “What will they do to her?”

  “Leave her alone, I imagine,” said Key. “It’s Lumi and the postrich, I mean, ostrich, that are in danger. But perhaps they’re in danger if Lumi is the kidnapper…”

  “Would you stop that? He couldn’t kidnap a cockroach crawling underneath his shoe.”

  “Don’t look down on cockroaches,” said Key. “I’ve been living on them for a while now. They have a pleasing crunch, though I’d choose meatballs any day, given the option. But my point is this: those soldiers will think he’s the kidnapper; and if they catch him, he’ll rot out the rest of his days in the emperor’s dungeons.”

  Begonia tried to think. Didn’t a rat fink like Lumi deserve a spell in the dungeons? A week or two there might do him a world of good.

  But if the dungeon rumors were true, he’d be there a lifetime longer than a week or two.

  “If the soldiers take Lumi away and give the ostrich to Poka,” she thought aloud, “then I’ll be able to take Alfalfa home and be done with all this nonsense.”

  Key watched her with a curious expression. It annoyed her. But the more she tried to ignore him, the more piercingly he stared.

  The torment was killing her. “What?” she demanded.

  Key spoke slowly. “Are you sure you don’t think Lumi could be a kidnapper?”

  “Positive.”

  His searching gaze made Begonia squirm. “Really, really sure?”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “So sure I’d bet my best laying hen on it.”

  He shook his head sadly. “Then how, you’ll forgive me for asking, for a romantic never wants to distress a damsel already in distress, but how, I say, can you stand by and do nothing?”

  She couldn’t answer.

  And she wouldn’t look him in the eye.

  “Did you really live on cockroaches?” she asked. “That’s disgusting.”

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  Down the road, they heard the creaks and rattles of a caravan of wagons. Animal noises filled the air. Something roared, and something else trumpeted a high squeal.

  “The carnival,” she said. “That stinker Poka! Using the emperor’s soldiers to help him steal Lumi’s ostrich. He’s got a lot of nerve.” She sighed. It irked her to no end to concede that Key was right. “All right then, Mr. Conscience, let’s go help Lumi, if we’re not too late.”

  They took off, crashing through the brush, racing through the woods. Begonia doubted they could catch up to the soldiers’ horses, but they soon heard men’s voices close at hand.

  “Um, Begonia,” Key called to her. “What exactly is our plan?”

  She leaped over a fallen tree limb and kept on running. “How should I know?”

  They burst upon Lumi, the ostrich, and Alfalfa, surrounded by soldiers, who seemed astonished at the sight of the young people. Alfalfa mooed, the ostrich hooted, and Lumi hurled orders and insults at the men, but they only tightened their perimeter around him and reached for coils of rope tied to their saddles.

  “… because I could swear I’ve seen your face somewhere before,” a soldier was saying as he skewered Lumi with a piercing look. “Only, I look again and I’m not so sure.”

  “Probably been in trouble with the law before,” the captain said. “Scumbag like you.”

  Lumi’s face was so dirty, Begonia thought, not even his mirror would recognize him.

  Begonia seized an opening in the conversation. “Uncle Lumi! Uncle Lumi!” she squealed. “I’ve been trying all morning to find you, Uncle Lumi!” She ran to him through the ring of soldiers and hugged his ankle. It was the only part of him that she could reach, perched as he was on the ostrich.

  She looked at the soldiers. “I’m Begonia, and this is my, er, cousin, Key. That’s my cow, Alfalfa. But what do you men want with my Uncle Lumi?”

  She realized she’d never spoken so many words at once to a group of adults in her life. And soldiers, at that. Alone in the woods, confronting half the emperor’s army!

  Not quite half. But still.

  “Back away, little girl,” said the one in charge. “We’re taking this man into custody.”

  She gulped down her jitters. “But why?”

  The leader dismounted and loosened his rope. “For kidnapping the emperor.”

  Begonia gasped. “The emperor, kidnapped? On the eve of his birthday? How awful!”

  “It’s true,” said the captain. He pointed to Lumi. “And that’s the fiend who did it. We’ve got witnesses to prove it. Trusted palace officials.”

  “What do you mean,” cried Lumi, sputtering with rage, “‘kidnapping the … the…’”

  “Emperor,” snapped the captain. “You heard me.”

  Lumi laughed bitterly. “Absurd!”

  “Yes, absurd,” Begonia said. “Uncle Lumi couldn’t kidnap a duck.”

  “I could, too,” said Lumi.

  “But if he kidnapped the emperor, where’s the emperor?” Begonia pressed her questions, one by one. “Why aren’t they both in hiding somewhere?”

  The captain shrugged. “Look, we have our orders. We don’t have to justify them to you.”

  Begonia tried to think. She lacked practice in lying. “Our Uncle Lumi traveled with us all day yesterday from the village of Two Windmills. We certainly never saw the emperor. I’m on an errand to sell this cow, and he…” She racked her brain. “He is training his new ostrich.”

  “Postrich,” corrected one of the soldiers. “And we know he kidnapped that bird, too. Don’t think you can fool us.”

  Lumi’s eyes grew as large as peeled pears.

  “He didn’t steal it,” said Key. “Uncle Lumi’s had that ostrich forever and ever.”

  The captain laughed unpleasantly. “I thought the girl said it was his new ostrich.”

  Begonia leaned against the ostrich for comfort. The brainless bird had none to offer.

  “You two think you’re clever, don’t you?” he said. “Now, what sounds more logical to you? That a big exotic bird like this thing should belong to a famous traveling circus? Or to three of the shabbiest ruffians as have ever soiled the empire? You tell me.”

  He was right. Oh, that villainous Poka! No one would believe the ostrich wasn’t his.

  “I don’t know about logical,” she said stoutly, “but that’s my uncle’s bird. Shabby or no.”

  Lumi kicked the foot that Begonia still clung to. His face contorted into a scowl of revulsion. He leaned over and whispered to Begonia. “How dare you touch me?”

  She was stunned. “Why … I…”

  “The new chancellor isn’t going to tolerate you
r kind,” the captain went on. “He’s just what the empire needs. The old one was too soft. Soft on crime, soft on justice. Soft on letting riffraff like you three roam about. Clean things up! That’s what the new chancellor will do.”

  A strange look came over Lumi. Begonia thought perhaps he was turning green, but maybe that was only the forest leaves.

  “What do you mean?” He licked his dry lips. “What new chancellor?”

  “Duke Baxa,” the captain said. “He’s got the power now. The old chancellor ran the empire ever since the old emperor died. But now we’ve got one who knows what to do with power.” He smiled. “Everyone knows the young emperor can’t lead a children’s parade, much less a mighty realm.” The other soldiers laughed loudly.

  Lumi’s face went pale. “What have they done with the old chancellor?”

  The captain shrugged. “Who knows? Who cares! Maybe he died, the old fossil.”

  Begonia wouldn’t have believed it possible, but something almost like concern seemed to pass over Lumi’s face.

  Then that face grew purple with rage. He tumbled backward off his ostrich and landed rump-first in the soft moss of the forest floor. Probably not how he meant to land, but he scrambled proudly to his feet.

  “Arrest me, then,” he said, “and take me to this new chancellor.”

  Key’s mouth dropped open. Begonia nearly fell over. But she recovered her wits.

  “Uncle Lumi! Uncle Lumi!” she wailed, hoping it was convincing. “Don’t leave us! Why would you let these men arrest you when you know you’re innocent?”

  He waved a hand at Begonia. “My reasons are my reasons. Go home.”

  “What about your ostrich?” asked Key as the soldiers tied Lumi’s wrists and ankles.

  “Oh. Yes.” Lumi cleared his throat. “Hear me, men-at-arms. This ostrich—ow! Not so tight, you great goons!—has become quite valuable to me. I want it brought also to the new chancellor.” He ground his teeth on the word, until one of the soldiers stuffed a greasy gag into his mouth and tied a rag over it.

  “That’ll shut him up for a while.” A soldier hoisted him easily up over the back of his horse. He flung him there facedown, as though he were a sack of wheat. “The new chancellor will see you when he’s good and ready.” He snickered. “Perhaps in a decade or two.”

  At this, Lumi’s eyes flew wide open in panic. He jerked upward and tried to slide off the horse, but he failed. He made desperate noises in the back of his mouth, looking wildly at Begonia and Key, but the gag prevented him from saying anything.

  The soldiers mounted their horses and nudged them back toward the road. They were almost gone when the last of them paused.

  “Sir? Shouldn’t we return that carnival man’s, er, postrich?”

  “Let him find his own whatever-it’s-called,” came the captain’s distant reply.

  Key and Begonia were left alone in the small clearing.

  “What did Lumi do that for?” Begonia’s words burst from her. “Here we were, trying to help him, and he treated us so rudely!”

  “That’s just Lumi for you,” Key said. “Begonia…?”

  “Why on earth would he ask to be arrested?” she went on. “He’s an imbecile! A nitwit! I don’t care if he’s old enough to grow those ludicrous mustaches. He’s a spoiled baby, and he doesn’t deserve our help.”

  “A pointed assessment of his character,” Key said, “and one that I would find fascinating at any other time, I assure you. But first, let me say this: the animals are gone again.”

  She jumped and searched for any sign of the errant ostrich and his love-struck cow, but once again they were gone, gone, gone.

  She sat down heavily on a fallen log. “Why does everything bad have to happen to me?” she moaned. “Why can’t I just find my cow and go home?”

  Key sat down beside her.

  “Not to split hairs,” said Key, “but the prize for the Worst Thing Happening To You was just given to Lumi, I think.”

  “He deserved it,” she muttered darkly.

  “Undoubtedly.” He patted her shoulder. “Cheer up. With a Finder of Things That Are Lost at your side, we’ll locate the animals in no time. We’ll just follow their tracks.”

  “Too late,” came a booming voice from behind them.

  The world went dark. Rough, scratchy burlap dragged across Begonia’s skin and blotted out the sun. Merciless arms seized her around her waist. She tore and pushed and fought at the sack that had been thrown over her, but her captor was too strong. She screamed, and when she paused to fill her lungs, she heard Key beside her doing the same thing.

  Begonia’s kidnapper threw her over his shoulder and strode off through the woods. Her mind raced. What would happen? Poor Key! Poor Mumsy and Peony, never knowing her fate!

  She strained to see anything through the woven cloth of the sack. She could make out some light, and by squinting she was able to see, faintly, the blurry forest floor slide by. Then brighter light and solid gray underfoot told her that they’d reached the road. Whoever it was that carried her set her down on her feet, but she was so wobbly she nearly fell.

  Strange hands yanked the burlap sack off her head. She blinked in the bright sunlight. Key stood there, too, with his hair sticking straight up. On either side of them stood brawny men, dressed in grimy smocks and short pants. Before them was an enclosed wagon, painted green with red letters, and iron bars in every window.

  “You nearly cost me my postrich,” Poka’s voice said.

  They turned. There he was, shiny boots, red trousers, oily face, and all. The smile curling around his head wasn’t friendly at all now. Beside him were the legs and body of Lumi’s ostrich, but no head. Begonia gasped. What had they done? Then she saw that the giant bird had a sack over his head also. He was alive, but a prisoner, just as she and Key were. Alfalfa was nowhere in sight.

  “Welcome to the circus,” said Poka. “This is what happens to people who get in Poka’s way. Into the tiger’s cage with you.”

  Begonia screamed. The dirty men seized her and Key by the elbows and bundled them into the cage. She scrabbled, panting with terror until her eyes adjusted to the dim cage and she saw there was no tiger in it.

  “Hands off the Maid Begonia, you scoundrels!” cried Key, but the men only laughed.

  Poka’s teeth gleamed as he spoke. “My tiger tamer was eaten last week, but you two will do nicely.” He leered at them. “Oh, don’t worry. There’s no tiger in the cage now. He’s at the tiger doctor, recovering from his tummy ache, but he’ll be back soon.”

  Stormcloud appeared out of nowhere and shot into the open door like a gray bolt of lightning. Poka whipped out a set of keys and locked them in. Begonia heard the bolt of the lock slam into its socket with a sickening thump.

  With a laugh, Poka gestured to the wagon driver, who cracked his whip. The wagon lurched forward, and Begonia and Key toppled to the floor.

  20

  WHAT A NESTING DUCK MIGHT HAVE SEEN

  The carnival caravan headed off slowly down the road. Farther along the beaten path, imperial soldiers on horseback, carrying one forlorn prisoner, traveled at a triumphant trot toward Lotus City and its gleaming palace.

  High above the road that had only just been the sight of so many strange doings, a brilliantly colored wood duck swooped down from the sky in a graceful curve to alight upon a tree branch that led straight to the cavity in the tree trunk where his mate had chosen a nest.

  Another male alighted upon the very same branch. The colorful drake, if he noticed, did not seem to mind. This male arrival was most definitely not a duck, nor a predator, nor even a bird at all.

  A companion appeared at the newcomer’s side. A mate? If he was even watching, the duck couldn’t tell. Humans. They all looked the same. But did they usually float in midair? The branch did not bend or sway for either of these arrivals. If the duck had been of a scientific mind, this might have troubled him.

  “There you are,” the newest arrival chirped in the ot
her’s ear. “I’ve been looking for you. How do matters go today, dearie?”

  The male said nothing.

  The female took a deep breath. “About yesterday,” she said. “I was hasty in my choice of words. I still don’t think you should have tangled with my Begonia. But I don’t like spats between friends. I’ve come to forgive you.”

  The male pushed his round spectacles down to the tip of his nose and stared at her over the tops of them.

  “This is actually a nice look for you,” the female said brightly. “Big spectacles? Blue vest? Braided beard? I like it.”

  The male human scowled at her. “You look like a wrinkled prune.”

  She shrugged. “How else should a prune look, I’d like to know?” She elbowed him. “Has your emperor learned his lesson yet?”

  No response.

  “What’s that face for?” she asked. “I’ll bet you used to strike terror into the hearts of your enemies on the battlefield just by making a face like that.”

  The duck’s gray-feathered mate quacked at him from deep within their hidden nest, and he waddled nearer along the limb’s length to give her the squirming crayfish he’d caught and brought for her dinner. She crunched it in her bill and gulped it down in an enthusiastic way that brought affectionate pride to the flying father-to-be’s heart.

  Meanwhile, on the other end of the branch, male-female relations were less cordial.

  “Go away,” the weightless man in the blue vest told the woman. “I’m busy.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Thinking.”

  “An important occupation. I recommend it. But tell me, in all earnest, how goes your project? Has intervening helped the emperor grow wiser? Are things looking better in Camellion?”

  He made a sort of growling sound. “They would be if it weren’t for you.”

  “What?”

  “The girl. Her cow. The boy. The cat.”

  She stuck out her lower lip. “What about them?”

  “You find it amusing to send in innocent children and creatures. You put them in harm’s way, you know.”

  The wispy old woman produced a wooden spoon from up her sleeve and smacked the man’s wrist with it. “You’re the one who sent the ostrich in the first place. Besides, you stubborn old goat, I’m sending help.”