Lost Memories (Forbidden Romance)

by Anya Merchant

  Cliff leaned down next to Ben as though he was going to help, and then drove one of his hands towards Ben’s back. The push came from Ben’s blind spot, but he never felt it make contact.

  He rolled to the side out of habit, his muscle memory acting before his mind even had time to think. Cliff was carried forward by his momentum and tripped over his own feet, falling flat on his stomach.

  I should have just let him push me. How did I even know to dodge that?

  “Wrong move, fuck face.” Cliff sounded slightly winded as he pulled himself to his feet. “I was trying to help you pick up your stuff, right guys?”

  The rest of the jocks picked up on cue and grabbed Ben’s arms, pinning him to the lockers as Cliff cracked his knuckles. Ben pushed all of the air out of his lungs and tensed his muscles up as the blows began to rain down.

  It was only a minute or two later when the wrestling captain grew tired of him. Ben slid down the locker to the hallway floor, his chest and stomach aching but his face, thankfully, having been spared.

  “Let’s get out of here,” said Cliff. “Forgetful Ben has probably already forgotten what he did to deserve it.”

  Ben just stared ahead blankly at the wall. The beating had been obnoxious, but only in a physical sense. It was easy for him to put it out of his mind and go back to what he was doing. He scooped up the rest of his papers, placed them back where they belonged, and then got out the books he needed for Ms. Thatcher’s AP History class just as first bell was beginning to ring.

  And it’s all the way on the other side of the building. Looks like I’ll have one more late arrival on my attendance record.

  By the time Ben had made it to the classroom, Ms. Thatcher was already lecturing to the rest of the students and putting the agenda up on the chalkboard. Ben waited by the door until she turned around and then tried to slip into the room unnoticed.

  “Mr. Faye, you’re six minutes late.” Ms. Thatcher’s strict voice reprimanded him sharply, and she didn’t break from the diagram she was drawing on the board. “That’s the third time you’ve been late for my class, and we’re not even a month into the start of the year.”

  “I know, I’m sorry, Ms. Thatcher.” Ben winced as he sat down at his desk. Several of the other students in the class were whispering and chuckling to each other.

  Just one more thing for them to talk about, I suppose.

  “I hope that your cavalier attitude does not extend to your studies,” she said. “We have a quiz today. No notes and no questions.”

  Ben tried to not let his frustration show on his face. He remembered her mentioning the quiz the week before, but he had lost his study guide in the hallway after a recent locker raid by Cliff.

  “Yes, Ms. Thatcher, I remember,” he said. “I’ve been studying all-“

  He paused as another girl, one that he had never seen before, appeared in the doorway. Ms. Thatcher’s attention was torn as well, to Ben’s relief.

  The girl was short, but she carried herself with confident, relaxed body language. She had gorgeous blond hair that hung down to her shoulders and a face that was beautiful in a very cute, elfishly feminine way. She was wearing a white blouse that outlined her nicely sized breasts and a tight pair of jeans that clung to her trim waist and curvy butt.

  “Sorry, am I late?” Her voice was soft and musical, almost like a tiny bell. “It’s my first day. I had a little bit of trouble finding the… classroom.”

  For a brief moment, she trailed off, and her eyes locked onto Ben, shining with something that looked a lot like like elation.

  Why is she looking at me like that? Did she see that I came in late, too?

  “You must be Emma Slate,” said Ms. Thatcher. “Yes, have a seat. You’re on my attendance list, but I wasn’t expecting you until the beginning of next week.”

  “Yeah, sorry, I ended up arriving in town a little early.” The girl, Emma, looked around the room with a smile on her face. Her eyes passed by Ben several times, and he found that it was strangely easy for him to meet her gaze, intense as it was.

  “Have a seat,” said Ms. Thatcher. “We have a quiz on the War of 1812. You’re welcome to take it, though it will count against your grade if you decide to.”

  “I would love to,” said Emma, with more cheer in her voice than Ben had ever heard a person use to talk about an assignment. She was still looking at him, and he wasn’t all that surprised when she walked over and sat down at the empty desk to the left of his.

  “Alright, if that’s the last interruption for the morning, how about we get started?” Ms. Thatcher cleared her throat and moved back to the front of the room. “You’ll have twenty minutes to finish your quiz. No talking and absolutely no phones. Clear your desks off and I’ll pass them out.”

  The classroom filled with the sound of chairs sliding and books dropping to the floor. Ben glanced back over at Emma and saw that she was still looking at him.

  What is her deal, anyway?

  “Hi,” she whispered to him, smiling and reaching out her hand. “I’m Emma.”

  “Uh, hey,” said Ben, with a nod. “Ben.”

  He took her hand into his and slowly shook it, surprised by the way she almost seemed to shiver at his touch.

  “Ben,” she said. “That’s your name? Ben?”

  This is so weird…

  “Yeah, that’s my name,” said Ben. “Ben Faye. Is there some reason why”

  “Shhhhhhh.” Ms. Thatcher looked at him sternly and held a finger up to her lips. “The quiz is being passed out. No talking.”

  Ben watched Emma watch him for a moment longer and then turned to receive a copy of the quiz from the teacher. He glanced over the questions and felt his heart sink a little. It would have been hard enough for him to pass without being distracted, but with the strangeness of the new girl, he could barely even think about his answers.

  A couple of silent minutes went pst. Ben managed to get a decent start, but his awareness was not on his desk. The room felt tense, and he couldn’t stop himself from being aware of Emma, so beautiful and so nearby. He wondered if she was still looking at him, and also why it was the she was acting so odd.

  Something landed next to his foot. Ben glanced down and saw a tiny piece of folded paper on the ground. He looked back up at Ms. Thatcher, who was flipping through a book on her desk. Slowly, he bent down, acting like he was tying his shoe as he picked up the note. A single word had been scribbled in neat, feminine handwriting.

  Lunch?

  Ben flattened the note out and started to write out his response on it.

  “Mr. Faye, you are not putting yourself in a good spot for the rest of the year with your behavior.” Ms. Thatcher’s high heels clacked against the tile floor as she walked over to his desk. She picked up the note, took one look at it, and then groaned.

  “Plan your lunch dates outside of my class from now on,” she said. “If I catch you passing notes again, you’ll be in detention for the rest of the day. That goes for you too, Ms. Slate. I don’t know how they did things at your old school, but that kind of behavior is not tolerated here.”

  The entire class looked over at him and Emma. Ben tried not to look too confused or embarrassed as he turned his head back over to her and slowly nodded his head.

  Why not? She’s cute, and it beats eating lunch alone.

  CHAPTER 3

  The rest of history class went by relatively uneventfully. Ben wanted to leave at the same time as Emma, but Ms. Thatcher ended up holding him for a few minutes after to talk to him about his behavior. All he could do was meet the new girls beautifully intense blue eyes as she walked by him on her way out.

  Ms. Thatcher’s life lecture went on for a couple of minutes, and somewhat ironically, made him late for his next class after that, which was Math. Ben did his best to focus on taking good notes and listening to the teacher, but there was something that kept pulling his attention back to his thoughts.

  Why did she look at me so strangely? She barely
looked at anyone else for the entire period.

  “Ben Faye.” Mr. Draper was his calculus teacher, and his words always sounded deep and authoritative. “Why don’t you come up to the board and show us how this problem is done?”

  The algebraic equation on the wall was intimidating, but math was a subject that Ben understood better than history. He made his way up to the board and silently worked out the problem, circling his answer at the end.

  “Hmmm… not bad,” said Mr. Draper. “I almost thought you weren’t paying attention.”

  She wants to have lunch with me. Has anyone other than Danny ever wanted to have lunch with me before?

  “You can go back to your seat now, Mr. Faye,” said the teacher. A low hum of laughter buzzed through the classroom as Ben made his way back to his desk.

  The next hour or so went by in a blur of thoughts and note taking. Ben felt more than a little out of it, but somehow, he also felt more like a normal high school student than he’d ever felt before.

  Once the lunch bell had sounded for the seniors, Ben walked to the cafeteria alone. His heart was racing before he’d made it inside. It took him a moment to calm down as he stood in the lunch line, and he began to scan the cafeteria for any sign of Emma.

  She’s not here yet. There is no way I could miss her. Hell, there’s no way anyone could miss her.

  Ben ended up buying himself a rather unappetizing looking slice of pizza along with a plain salad. He remembered Rachel’s offer that morning to pack him a lunch and suddenly began to wish he’d taken her up on it. It wasn’t just pride keeping him from letting her take of him like that, not really. Rather, a strong sense of self-determination that he’d never been able to shake or ignore.

  He elbowed his way through a group of people loitering around the lunchroom after getting his food. There was an empty table at the end of the row he was heading through, and he sat down at it. Ben scanned the lunchroom one more time. There was still no sign of her.

  Maybe she was just kidding around? After all, why would she want to have lunch with-

  “Ben.” Emma’s voice was unmistakable. Somehow, she had snuck up on him and was smiling broadly, as though it had been exactly what she’d intended.

  “Uh, hey Emma,” said Ben. He glanced down and saw a pink lunchbox in her hands, and tried not to gawk too obviously at her body.

  “I can sit with you, right?” Emma sat down before Ben could answer her question. She still had that same look in her eyes. It was unnerving, but also so intriguing, as though she had a secret and was just dying to share it with him.

  A long moment of silence went by, the rest of the cafeteria around them buzzing with activity. Ben felt awkward, but Emma looked almost too comfortable. She opened her lunchbox and began to take out her food with cute, dexterous movements.

  “So what’s your deal, anyway?” Ben glanced away after asking the question, feeling like it was almost rude for him to ask in the way that he had. “I mean, you just moved here. You’re a senior, right?”

  Smooth, Ben. Real smooth.

  “Yeah, I’m a senior,” said Emma. “I’m just like you, Ben. You’re a senior too, right?”

  Ben nodded. Emma was still smiling at him in that strange, knowing way. He’d seen girls smile in that way before, but never at him.

  “Where did you move from?” he asked. “And seriously, why? There isn’t much in Emerald Hills. Most people are trying to move away from the town, not into it.”

  “There’s a lot here for me,” said Emma. “For me and my parents, I mean. I think I’m going to like it here.”

  Her gaze lingered on him for just a moment too long. Ben coughed nervously into the crook of his elbow.

  Why do I feel so strange? And more importantly, why doesn’t she?

  “You still don’t talk a lot, do you, Ben?” asked Emma. The question caught Ben off guard, and for a moment he just stared at her, mouth agape.

  “I mean, you didn’t say much in Ms. Thatcher’s class,” said Emma. “Earlier this morning.

  Ben shrugged.

  “Yeah, I guess I don’t,” he said. “I’ve been told that a couple of times before.”

  “Only a couple of times?” Emma leaned a little closer into him. Ben couldn’t stop himself from smiling at her. Something about her was familiar, in a cheeky, down to earth kind of way.

  “I’ve only been in Emerald Hills for a few years,” said Ben. “I was the new kid here as a freshman. Just like you.”

  “And before that, you were super talkative?” asked Emma. Ben chuckled and shook his head.

  “You know, I’m not sure what I was like before that.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, and let the silence between them build. It was such an odd conversation that they were having, but part of him was beginning to accept it. Rather, a part of him was tuning into a level underneath the surface, and straining to hear just what was really being said

  “Ben…” Emma began speaking in a soft, serious voice. “Where did you grow up? You said you moved here, so…”

  Ben met Emma’s gaze for several long, eternal seconds.

  “I don’t know,” he finally said. “I had an accident a couple of years ago. Four years ago, to be exact. I don’t remember anything that happened before that.”

  Emma blinked a couple of times in quick succession. There was something in her eyes that pained Ben to see, but she glanced away, hiding it from him.

  This doesn’t feel right. None of this feels right.

  “Oh,” said Emma. “That’s terrible. I… I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you.”

  Ben opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, a strong hand slapped down on the other side of the table.

  “Hey there. How’s it going? I’m Cliff.”

  Ben felt a strangely protective emotion well up within him as he watched his tormenter extend his arm forward to shake Emma’s hand. He was grinning, as though he’d finally found the ultimate humiliation, the one to outdo all of the others that he suffered through with gritted teeth.

  “Uh, hello,” said Emma. “Do you need something, or…?”

  Cliff laughed and sat down in the seat to the left of Emma. Ben shot him a cold look and felt one of his hands involuntarily clench up into a fist.

  You aren’t just fucking with me right now, Cliff. This is going too far.

  “I do need something,” said Cliff. “To introduce myself. You’re new here, right? I usually try to work new students like you into the fold as soon as possible.”

  “I’m fine, thanks.” Emma turned away from him and rolled her eyes, smiling slightly.

  “I’m not so sure if you are,” said Cliff. “Your name is Emma, right? The kid you’re sitting with is bad news, Emma. I’m just here to be a good samaritan.”

  Emma turned back to Cliff and smiled at him for a second. What happened next caught Ben completely off guard.

  The blonde girl leaned away from the jock and over to him, taking his cheek into her soft hand. Ben saw the confident, comfortable look in her big blue eyes for only a split second before her lips were against his.

  What?

  It was as though time had stopped. Emma’s kiss was beyond sweet, like biting into a perfectly ripened peach. He felt her tongue flick ever so slightly into his mouth as she committed even further and let his own tongue automatically push out in response.

  “What the fuck?” yelled Cliff. He stood up as though somebody had thrown a drink in his face. Emma finally broke from the embrace, leaving one hand on Ben’s chest. It was impossible for Ben to keep from smiling as he looked at the wide-eyed, open mouthed wrestling captain.

  “I don’t think you’re needed here, Cliff,” said Ben. “Why don’t you go back to your own table?”

  Danny isn’t going to believe a word of this, but that’s okay.

  Cliff looked like he was considering spitting on the ground, or possibly even in Ben’s face, but after a long moment he turned around and began stomp
ing off back towards his own table. Ben shook his head slightly and looked at Emma, unable to stop the confusion from coming out in his face.

  “Why… did you do that?” he asked. “You know, you could have just-“

  “Just what, Ben?” she responded, repeating his name again and rolling her eyes once more. “Ben.”

  Ben slowly shook his head and set his hands on the table. He was past the point of knowing what to do or what to say. There was being unpredictable, and then there was Emma, who acted like she operated totally outside of rhyme and reason.

  “So… does this mean that you’re into me?” The question sounded foolish even as it left his mouth, but he couldn’t contain it or his massive grin.

  “You said that you had an accident, before coming here,” said Emma, softly. “Do you remember… anything? From before the accident?”

  Ben felt his state shift as he remembered the dream from that morning, and the many others he’d had like it over the course of the past four years. Suddenly, he felt strangely suspicious of the girl sitting next to him.

  Something about this isn’t right…

  “Only bits and pieces,” said Ben. “Bad dreams, mostly. I remember a bit of the night I washed up, the storm and the lightening. I remember…”

  His head began to hurt as he desperately tried to recall the other nightmares he’d had. It was like trying to remember any detail from a dreamscape, searching for something he’d lost without knowing exactly where or what it was. Emma nodded, pulled her lips up into a thin smile, and set a hand on his shoulder.

  “It’s okay,” she said. “If you can’t remember, I guess you just can’t remember.”

  There was more silence. This time, Ben felt comfortable, too.

  She knows something, either about me, or about what I’m going through.

  The bell signaling the end of the senior’s lunch rang, and most of the students at the tables around them started to leave. Ben set his hand on top of Emma’s and managed to look her directly in the eyes, as she had taken to doing with him.