Lost Memories (Forbidden Romance)

by Anya Merchant

  Without really knowing what he was doing, Ben began to strike back. His left arm was free, and he lashed out at the wolf with it, progressing from open handed slaps, to punches, to using his fingers to gouge into the creature’s eyes.

  It let out a cry of its own and flinched back. This time, Ben was on top of it, slamming his fists down, pushing his knee into the beast’s abdomen, and quite literally fighting for his life.

  The encounter felt like it had gone on for an eternity when it finally came to an end. Ben couldn’t see the wolf, but it was limp underneath him as he slammed one of his bare feet down into it for the hundredth time.

  “Good.” Lenka’s voice floated down into the pit, like an angel speaking down from heaven into hell. “Very good, Brandon.”

  Brandon… My old name really was Brandon.

  ***

  “You look like you just remembered something,” said Kate. “Care to share?”

  Ben took a deep breath and shook his head.

  “I just uh, yeah, I remembered something.” He wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing or not by be honest with the private investigator, but it was hard for him to think clearly in his current state.

  “What was it?” asked Kate.

  He sighed and set his hands down on the desk. On his right wrist and forearm, he suddenly noticed old scars that he’d long since learned to ignore.

  “I’m not sure if I can help you track down Lenka,” said Ben. “But I remember a bit of what she did to me. What happened to me in her care. Whatever she was to me…”

  He trailed off and shook his head.

  “I’ll cooperate in any way I can, Ms. Connors.”

  Kate smiled and nodded to him.

  “We’re only just getting started, Ben,” she said. “I have more to show you. Much more. If you’ll take a look at-“

  The door behind the two of them opened, and Principal Anders stood in it, a disapproving and protective glare set into her eyes.

  “Ben needs to get back to class,” she said, her voice sounding a little cold. “His attendance record has been rather poor lately, and it’s important for him to catch up on his work.”

  Kate held up a hand in protest.

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Anders, if you don’t mind I would just like to-“

  “I do mind,” said Principal Anders. “And judging from the look on Ben’s face, so does he.”

  Ben didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what he felt or wanted at that moment. As Principal Anders stepped back and gestured for him to follow her, his legs lifted him up out of the desk and began walking towards the door.

  I could learn so much more… But how much is too much?

  “I’ll be seeing you again soon, Ben,” said Kate. “My investigation is just getting started.”

  Ben still didn’t say anything.

  CHAPTER 13

  Study hall went by quickly, mostly due to Ben’s studious approach to catching up on his work. The next period, French class, was much the same. Ben focused on the lesson as intently as he could, using the instruction as a way of distracting himself from his confusing thoughts.

  The bell for lunch rang and Ben took his time walking to the cafeteria. The lunch room lines were usually long and arduous, a pain to have to wait through, and so he was in no hurry. When he finally did arrive, the hum of students chatting and enjoying each other’s company as they ate their lunch greeted him warmly.

  Ben instinctively turned when he saw a hand wave as he scanned the tables for somewhere to sit after he’d bought his food. Emma was sitting all alone, at a table off to the side, and she was smiling at him.

  I can’t just ignore her forever, even if it’s what my gut is telling me to do.

  He slowly and warily walked over to take a seat next to her. He didn’t say anything, not at first. Emma looked as though she was just happy to have him there, and waited patiently as he began to chew on the slice of pizza he’d liberated from the lunch line.

  “A private investigator came to the school to talk to me today,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

  Emma froze in mid movement, her hand halfway into her lunchbox.

  “What did they say?” she asked. “I mean, did she want to know anything, or…”

  Ben nodded slowly and searched her face for any hidden clues as to just what was going on.

  “She told me a little about The Syndicate,” he said. “That was the group that captured us, wasn’t it?”

  Emma blinked a couple of times in quick succession.

  “Yeah, it was,” she said softly. “Ben, this isn’t good. If a PI can find us, then there is no way that-“

  “Lenka.” The name rolled off Ben’s tongue with familiarity and a strange warmth. “She was the one behind it all. Emma… what was she to us? Who was she? Why is it that she seems so…?”

  Why does she seem to be so revered in my memories when so much of what she did was evil?

  “She was more than just behind it all, Ben.” Emma took a deep, shaky breath, emotion hanging in her throat like a bad cough. “She was… more than that, to us.”

  A surprising kernel of anger formed in Ben’s chest. He slapped his hand down on the table, shaking his plate and drawing the attention of some of the other students nearby. He sighed and forced himself back into a composed state.

  “I learned more from five minutes of talking with that clueless private investigator, who came all the way to Emerald Hills to ask me what I know than I have from you in days.” It was impossible to keep his eyes from narrowing into a glare as he looked at Emma. He was mad at her, but also at himself, and his own fatigued, fogged memory.

  “I can’t just tell you all of it right off, Ben,” said Emma.

  “Why, Emma? Tell me why you can’t!”

  She looked hurt, as though his reaction was causing her an almost physical pain. Emma reached her hands over and took both of Ben’s into her own.

  “Because I love you too much, Ben.” Her voice was just a whisper, like a tiny, sad little bell. Ben didn’t say anything, and after a second of staring into her eyes, with tears cresting in their corners, he had to look away.

  “I do love you Ben, so much,” she said softly. “I… I know how the pictures must have looked to you. And… the guns, too. But it all comes back to you. I came here for you, that room is devoted to you, to finding and protecting you.”

  What did I do, what could I ever have done, to make a girl this crazy for me?

  “Emma…” Without really thinking about it, Ben rubbed his fingers against her hand reassuringly. She smiled at him, a pained smile that carried all of her chaotic emotions to the forefront.

  Ben remembered the dream from the night before, along with the flashback from talking with the private investigator. He turned his arm over on the table and pointed to the faint scars from the wolf bite.

  “Did I ever explain to you where this came from?” he asked. “What did I say about it? And what did I say happened after?”

  Emma shook her head.

  “You didn’t have to explain anything, Ben,” she said. “I was right there after it happened. Do you remember any of that?”

  ***

  Ben was back at the top of the pit. Lenka slowly wrapped a cloth bandage around his wounded arm, the white becoming spotted with red as it made contact with the gash.

  “You did well,” whispered Lenka. “I am proud of you. Much prouder of you than you can ever know, honey.”

  “Lenka…” Tears welled up in Ben’s young eyes, and he shook his head back and forth frantically. “I didn’t want to kill it. I had to, I didn’t have a choice…”

  “I know you didn’t,” she whispered. “It’s part of becoming a real member of our family, Brandon. It’s not something you must feel guilty over, my sweet.”

  Ben nodded, his face still feeling hot and flushed from the adrenaline and exertion. Lenka took his hand into hers and began leading him back down the hallway.

  She brought him not the
cell that he had been in before, but to a new one. It looked similar, with one major, unambiguous difference. Emma was standing in the center of it.

  She looks so… young.

  “Brandon!” cried Emma. “Oh my god, Brandon!”

  “He is okay, dear,” said Lenka. “Both of you are okay and closer to becoming true members of The Syndicate family than ever before. You will be as my children, and I will be as your mother.”

  She opened the door to the cell and Ben walked into it on his own. He pulled Emma into a tight hug and felt his entire body hum with warm relief.

  “Was it… scary?” Emma asked, her voice tickling Ben’s ear.

  “No,” he said. “It was fine.”

  ***

  “I… remember.” Ben stared at Emma back in the lunchroom, his expression softened by the reawakened memory. “At least, I remember what happened after I… killed wolf. Meeting with you, in the cell.”

  Emma looked like she was working to contain her excitement. She squeezed Ben’s hands and glowed with an eagerness that he hadn’t seen since the two of them had first reunited.

  “I’m so glad! Ben, it’s all going to come back eventually, and then… you’ll understand!”

  Her smile was like a warm breeze against the setting sun. It made Ben’s heart begin to beat a little faster, and it was hard for him to meet her gaze without smiling, too.

  “Ben, there’s a football game tonight,” said Emma. “I know that you’re going through a lot right now, but maybe it would be nice for the two of us to just be regular teenagers. You know, at least for one night?”

  I’ve been a regular teenager for the past four years, up until a couple of days ago. To go back to being that, and with Emma…

  “Sure,” said Ben. “Let’s give it a shot.”

  Emma leaned forward and kissed him suddenly, her lips soft and passionate against his. For a moment afterward, Ben was at a loss for what to say. She stared at him with eyes full of adoration, full of love.

  “We’ve already given it a shot, Ben,” she said. “This is shot number two.”

  “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  For the rest of lunch, Ben was almost able to convince himself that the two of them really were nothing more than regular teenagers. He asked Emma questions about how she was settling down at Emerald High and she asked him about how his classes were going and what he had for homework.

  It’s all just a cute little farce. A distraction from what we both know really matters.

  The bell rang, and Emma gave Ben a quick goodbye kiss before heading off. Ben’s next period was Statistics, a class that he’d found himself to have a natural aptitude for. He wasn’t too worried about being behind on his work as he made his way down the hall to it and settled into a desk inside.

  Most of the students were already in the room, and Ben was surprised that the teacher hadn’t arrived yet. He took out his books and glanced towards the door as he waited, and instantly did a double take.

  Kate Connors was looking in at him from the hallway. The second their eyes met, she slinked away, as if hoping that he would mistake her face for someone else’s. Ben looked around the classroom to see if anyone else had noticed her, but most of them were either making chit chat or reviewing the homework.

  “Alright everybody, settle down.” Mr. Evans was young, a substitute turned full time, and he brought a certain energy to teaching that was unique for Emerald High. “We’re going to start today off by reviewing the homework from last week.”

  Ben pulled his homework sheet out of his binder and set it on his desk. He looked back towards the hallway, but the private investigator was gone.

  “Timothy, would you like to come up to the board and fill in the blanks on the first problem?” asked Mr. Evans. “You can start by-“

  The shrill, biting, familiar sound of the fire alarm forced its way into the room, cutting him off. Ben and the other students stood up instinctively, and Mr. Evans waved them towards the door.

  “Alright, you guys know what to do,” he said. “Single file, meet up on the school’s front lawn.”

  Ben followed the rest of the class out of the room, falling a little behind as he closed his homework back into his textbook.

  Usually they announce fire drills at the start of the week. Maybe it’s the real deal this time?

  The group moved down the hall with surprising speed as more students filed out from their classrooms and crowded in. Ben was right with the rest of his class up until they reached the intersection, the influx of people cutting him off and leaving him behind.

  He felt a hand come to a rest on his shoulder, and when he turned to look, he saw that it belonged to Kate Connors, who stood behind him with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

  “I guess now we have a little extra time to finish talking,” she said. “Come on.”

  CHAPTER 14

  The fire alarm was still blaring in Ben’s ear as Kate Connors took him by the hand and led him forward. They weren’t heading towards the school’s front exit, or any of its exits, for that matter.

  This is pretty bold, especially considering that there was no guarantee that I’d say yes.

  The private investigator stopped in front of a door that Ben had never really noticed before. She opened it and pushed him through it in almost a single movement, stepping after him and closing them in.

  “This is… a storage room?” Ben couldn’t see much in the dark, but he was sure that there wasn’t much there to see in the first place. Calling it a room was an exaggeration, really it was nothing more than a glorified closet.

  “Ben, there is more to what I have to ask you and tell you then what we went over in your principal’s office.” Kate Connors pushed both of Ben’s shoulders flat against the wall behind him. He couldn’t see her face in the dark, but the intensity of her body language almost gave her an aura of seriousness.

  “What is it?” asked Ben.

  And why is her telling me so important that she’d risk taking a chance on a stunt like this.

  “I know more about The Syndicate than I let on in our little interview,” said Kate. “I also know more about you, Ben.”

  The closet was tiny, and even within it, Kate was standing closer to him than she needed to. Ben could feel her breath against his skin as she spoke, the close proximity giving the encounter a strangely intimate feel.

  “Then tell me,” said Ben. “I’ve been remembering bits and pieces, but nobody has been willing to actually tell me everything I need to know.”

  “For me to be able to trust you with this information, you need to agree to work with me and me alone.” Kate put one of her hands on Ben’s chest and leaned into him. His heart was racing underneath it, and he tried to focus on what she was saying instead of how hot the room was suddenly beginning to feel.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The girl that you’re friends with,” said Kate Connors. “Emma. She cannot be trusted.”

  Emma… can’t be trusted?

  Ben didn’t say anything. Every moment that went by with the two of them in the tiny closet felt like it raised the stakes in some invisible poker game, with the chips on the table representing their control.

  Is she bluffing? Can I risk calling her on this?

  “How do you know that she can’t be trusted?” he finally asked.

  “I can’t tell you just yet.”

  “Then how am I supposed to-“

  “Let me make this simple for you, Ben.” Kate leaned in even closer, and an excited, hot chill ran down Ben’s spine. “I’m sure Emma is offering you what she can to keep your trust. Whatever she’s offering you, I’ll outdo it.”

  Ben didn’t have to wonder long about exactly what she meant by that. One of Kate’s hand slipped down and slowly began to cup his already hardening cock with gentle, practiced touches.

  “Her or me, Ben,” she whispered. “I’ll actually answer your questions and tell you what’s going on.”

&nbs
p; Ben started shake his head and answer her, but before he could, Kate had set one of her fingers against his lips. She pushed forward, letting her soft breasts mash into his chest, and then slowly slid herself down to the ground.

  He was confused, but his body acted like it knew exactly what was going on. The blood rushed to his cock and turned it into an achingly hard rod as Kate began to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

  “I’m very serious about this job, Ben,” she whispered. “You’ll understand why soon enough, but for now, just lean back… and enjoy.”

  Ben couldn’t clearly see what she was doing in the dark, but the sensation was unmistakable, if still a little new to him. Kate Connors had worked his erection out of his boxers and was slowly rubbing her lips against the tip of it. His cock throbbed and stood at full attention as the older woman slowly began to plant kiss after kiss on it.

  “Oh god,” moaned Ben. “This is…”

  This is wrong. What would Rachel say, if she knew this was going on? Or Emma?

  He had almost summoned the willpower to put a stop to the strange seduction when Kate brought the head of his penis into her mouth. She sucked on it with practiced coordination, and soft, wet, wonderfully pleasurable control.

  “Jesus…” Ben was breathing heavily, his breath light in his lungs, and his heart beating as though in a race against a metronome.

  Lewd sucking noises came from below as Kate worked her head back and forth, pleasuring the teenager as though making him cum really was part of her official assignment. Ben felt for the wall behind him and slowly leaned back on it, and Kate responded by setting one of her hands against his thigh and pushing herself into even closer contact.

  Maybe I’ll just let her keep going for a few more seconds…

  Her technique was unlike anything Ben had experienced before, though his examples for reference were admittedly very limited. She would open her mouth wide as she pushed her head forward, taking his cock in as though letting a bird enter a cave. Then, she’d close her lips, push her tongue up against the underside of his shaft, and slowly pull back, sucking Ben off like a practiced tease.