Lost Memories (Forbidden Romance)

by Anya Merchant

  Ben was surprised by how easily Emma seemed to be opening up to him after she had gone to such a length to keep her guard up for the sake of letting him remember on his own. He sat down on the drab, stain covered couch and waited as she walked over to him and began bandaging his hand.

  “I still don’t remember most of it. Being their prisoner, and having to do the things that they made me do, it’s only coming back in bits and pieces.” Ben paused and looked at Emma’s beautiful face, her eyes focused on his hand as she wrapped gauze around it. “Emma, I’ve always remembered a bit of the night before I lost my memory. The storm, and the water…. What happened that night?”

  Emma wordlessly opened her mouth and shook her head back and forth. Ben took one of her hands and squeezed tightly, staring into her eyes without flinching or doubting.

  “Ben…” she managed. “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Emma, you have to tell me!” Ben felt his voice becoming intense.

  I need to know!

  “You will remember on your own eventually, Ben,” said Emma. “Please…”

  “Tell me!” A strange anger took hold of Ben He grabbed Emma tightly by the shoulders, feeling the softness of her body underneath his hands. Her breasts pushed out against her shirt like tantalizingly forbidden globes of fruit. She represented everything that he wanted in his life, and yet kept all of it just out of his reach.

  He could see tears in her eyes, but they weren’t enough to quell the frustration that Ben was feeling. He pushed Emma onto the couch, and without thinking about it, climbed onto her, pinning her arms down against the cushions.

  “Ben…” whispered Emma. “Go ahead. You can have me…”

  Her words turned Ben on, though deep down inside, he felt as though they shouldn’t have.

  It’s not her that I’m mad at, not Emma, with her gorgeous body and layers of secrets.

  Ben leaned in and kissed her on the neck, feeling a chill run through her body as his lips made contact. He kept kissing her, letting each one trace a path across her cheek, all the way to her mouth, where the two of them met faces in passion.

  His hands pawed at her body, pulling her shirt up and over her head. Ben wanted her, needed her, in a way that he’d never felt before. She was the only one that understood the part of him that he couldn’t see. He wanted her body and her mind.

  “Oh god, Ben…” Emma gasped in shock as he roughly pulled down her pants. It was impossible for Ben to slow himself down and he felt a little bad at the energy that poured out of his movements, keeping him from being totally in control as he moved her around on the couch like a ragdoll.

  He grabbed at her breasts through her bra, squeezing them and feeling their size and softness through her bra. Emma stared at him with submissive, loving eyes.

  I could do anything to her, and she would go along with it…

  Emma’s legs wrapped around him slowly, voluntarily, and she unhooked her bra. She let it fall to the side almost as though she was giving him a strip tease, her large, perfect breasts coming into view and making Ben’s cock even harder for her.

  “Emma…” Ben leaned forward and began to plant kiss after kiss on her chest. His hips were moving against her, grinding his cock into her, almost with a will of their own. He couldn’t have stopped himself if he had tried, the momentum and gravity of his arousal and Emma’s beauty beyond control.

  Emma reached down and quickly began unzipping and unbuttoning his jeans. Ben clumsily pulled them down and kicked them off his legs, and then pushed his boxer covered hardon up against Emma’s panties.

  “Yes,” whispered Emma. Her eyes were set, and she nodded her head ever so slightly. “Please fuck me, Ben. I’ve been waiting for so long…”

  Ben didn’t need her to ask twice. He felt like a beast, a dog that had found a bitch in heat. He pulled her panties down in a rush and ripped his boxers off with the same frantic need for release.

  Emma let out a silent gasp as Ben pushed the head of his cock up into her pussy. She was tight, much tighter than he had been expecting, and at first all he could get in was just the tiniest tip.

  “Yes!” Emma moaned, and Ben felt her fingernails rake his back. “Do it, Ben! Make me yours!”

  He pushed a little further, feeling her wet cunt engulf his cock with a tight, unrelenting grip. It was as though he was trying to fit his foot into a sock a size too small, and as he pushed his dick further in, he was creating the room it needed to move as it went.

  “Damn, Emma…” moaned Ben. It was beyond where he’d gone with Rachel, and he felt his inexperience becoming a factor.

  The sensation was far more than what he’d been prepared for, more than anything he’d been expecting. He began to feel as though his body was on autopilot, moving forward and pushing deeper and deeper into Emma on its own.

  Emma let out soft, rhythmic moans. She still had her legs wrapped around Ben, locking him in as though trying to make them into a harness. Her body was shivering with pleasure, and she stared at Ben with eyes full of love and devotion of an intensity that he’d never seen before.

  The sounds of their lovemaking echoed throughout the dingy house. It was just the two of them, Ben and Emma, enjoying each other’s bodies without any regard for anything else.

  I could be with her, really be with her. We could stay together, for as long as we wanted.

  Sweat glistened on Emma’s chest as Ben began to pump into her harder and faster. His hips slapped into her crotch and thighs each time he pushed forward, sending lewd slapping noises into the air. His cock throbbed with pleasure that was almost mind-numbingly good, intense enough to make him forget about anything other than the gorgeous, young, naked body underneath him.

  “Ben…” whispered Emma. “You’re going to make me…”

  She didn’t finish her sentence, and she didn’t need to. Emma’s body suddenly locked up, her muscles all tensing at once as she let out a high-pitched squeal of pleasure. Ben didn’t stop, too caught up in his own body’s reaction to be able to hold back.

  “Emma…” He stared at her and saw something in her eyes that was so familiar, almost nostalgic to him. His entire body was humming with blissful, sexual pleasure. She was his, she was however he wanted her to be, and Ben had never understood that fact on such a profound level before.

  He couldn’t hold out any longer. Ben slammed forward a few last times, not slowing down even as his cock began to blast cum deep inside of her pussy. Globs of sticky white seed overflowed from her folds and Ben finally stopped, coming to a rest on top of her.

  The two of them lied there together, their naked bodies entwined as they slowly caught their breath. Ben’s head was clear of any and all thoughts, his confusion having been pushed back by carnal pleasure.

  "Do you still want to know?" Emma's voice was soft, almost a whisper, but Ben could hear the depth of emotion in it through her chest. He pushed up from the couch and took a look at her, finding it hard to meet the intensity of her eyes, which bordered on tears.

  "What?"

  "What happened that night... the last night that we were together for, before you lost your memories?"

  Ben slowly nodded. It almost felt as though he was opening pandora’s box, pushing forward into a hidden realm that promised a cursed form of enlightenment.

  "Ben..." Emma shook her head and began to sob silently, her chest heaving up and down. "We... Ben, I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."

  "Sorry for what?" he asked. "Emma, just tell me what happened. I won't make any judgments."

  "We made each other a promise..." Emma's voice was quiet and understated, and tears flowed down her cheeks. "We promised each other that if they ever caught up with us, if they ever found us, we wouldn't let them take us alive."

  A... suicide pact?

  Ben stared at her blankly for a moment.

  "The cliff..." He whispered, feeling the pull of long forgotten memories beginning to work on the corners of his mind. "We jumped off it, together?
We did, didn't we?"

  Emma nodded and then began sobbing.

  "Hey, hey, it's okay," said Ben. He reached his hands over and took one of hers into his, rubbing it reassuringly. "That was a long time ago. And we both survived."

  "Ben..." whispered Emma. "They're still after us."

  What happened next felt like it played out in slow motion. Emma bent down over the couch and reached underneath it. It took Ben only a split second to see what she brought out in her hand, but much, much longer to process the significance of it.

  "Emma..." whispered Ben. "Emma, put the gun down."

  It looked to Ben as though it matched with the set that he'd seen in her room the day before. A voice began to scream inside his head as he watched Emma's unstable eyes focus on him, her arm slowly lifting and pointing the barrel of the weapon at him.

  How the fuck did I not see this coming?

  "They are still after us Ben," said Emma. "They've found us! And this time, it's going to be so, so much worse."

  Ben tried to scream out, tried to say something, anything, but it was too late. Emma's finger reached forward and slid into the finger guard, and all that he could do was watch in shocked silence.

  "I won't be long," said Emma. "I'll meet up with you, if there is an afterlife, or if we're reincarnated. We'll be together again Ben, I promise."

  "Emma, you're not thinking clearly!"

  "I am," she whispered. "This is the most sure I've ever been about anything before, and it’s all because of you."

  "I don't remember, Emma!" Ben was shouting, still rooted to the couch by the threatening barrel pointed his way. "I don't remember whatever happened to bring us to the point where we thought this was a good idea. Emma... I don't remember you."

  Emma shook her head, and for a moment she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

  "Ben, please don't say-"

  He saw his chance, and he took it. Ben hurtled forward and slapped the pistol to the side, pushing it out of his threat radius. Emma let out a surprised squeal and tried to turn the weapon back to him, but it was too late. Ben was grabbing at her hand and twisting it, trying to pry it loose.

  "No, Ben!" Emma was screaming, and it hurt Ben to listen to, someplace deep inside of him.

  "Emma, please, just put the gun down!"

  "I'll go first," cried Emma. "If that's what it takes!"

  "No, wait!"

  “Come find me.”

  She was quick, and managed to work her small arm away from by sliding about within Ben's grasp. Before he could do anything to stop her, she'd turned the barrel on herself. Ben stared into her eyes for the briefest of seconds, seeing so much that was so familiar and yet so incomprehensible.

  The gun went off, and Emma fell to the ground in a limp heap.

  CHAPTER 18

  Ben was on his knees. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there, staring at Emma's dead body. He felt as though his eyes were being burned out from the intensity of the scene, as though he'd been captivated by an eclipse and couldn't look away.

  This can't be happening. I need to... I need to call 911.

  With slow, shaky hands, Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket. There were several missed calls on it from Rachel, along with a text message that made his stomach twist into an even more sickening state.

  "Ben stay away from the house! People showed up, people who say they know you. They are trying to"

  The message cut off abruptly, but Ben didn't need it to be any longer to understand what was going on. They had found him, just as Emma had been so sure that they would. They had found him, pushed Emma to suicide, and now had Rachel.

  "Fuck! Fuck!" Ben screamed at the floor, and then slowly stood up and paced around Emma's living room. The air smelled metallic, and he flinched back when he saw the pool of blood forming around the body of his former friend and lover.

  There's so much blood... But that's not surprising to me, is it?

  ***

  "Please, put the knife down."

  Ben was standing with his arm around someone much taller than him, an adult that would have easily been able to overcome him and his child's frame if it wasn't for the knife he held against their throat. Emma was close by him, right there at his shoulder, and at the end of the dark, damp hallway stood Lenka and several other people.

  "I've had enough," said Ben. "I've stolen for you, killed for you, done everything for you, and none of it matters. It's all pointless violence and destruction."

  Lenka shook her head and smiled a warm, mother's smile back at him.

  "Nonsense," she said softly. "We're doing good work here Brandon, punishing people who need punishing. Put the knife down, and let's talk about this."

  Ben pushed the blade more tightly against the man's throat and was surprised to feel blood quickly oozing out, flowing over his fingers.

  It smells like a coin, or rust.

  "There's nothing to talk about," said Ben. "You only took me in the beginning as a bargaining chip. A nice little hostage to extort money out of my father a bit more easily. But when that didn't work out, I became your dog. Your fucking wolf pup, a trained killer, still too young to drive but old enough to take lives."

  "Don't do this," said Lenka. "It doesn't have to be this-"

  At that moment, Emma revealed the second part of their escape plan, the ace in the hole that the two of them had been counting on to catch The Syndicate off guard. She pulled out the tiny pistol she'd been hiding in her cell for months, and started unloading round after round down the hallway.

  "Let's go!" screamed Ben. It was hard for him to hear his own voice over the intense ringing from the shots, but Emma followed along down the now empty hallway as they raced toward the exit, toward their freedom.

  "I won't let this be the end!" screamed Lenka. "You are my property, boy, and I won't stop until you're on your knees in front of me!"

  ­­­***

  Ben's heart raced in his chest as he pushed his way out of Emma's house. It felt like he was leaving the scene of a horror movie, with Emma's lifeless body as the main attraction.

  Rachel's going to be next, if I don't hurry!

  He was surprised by the strange emotional conflict that was taking place inside of him. Part of him, the part that had been in control for the past four years, was screaming out in fear and disgust. However, another part of him, a much older part of him, was calm and unfazed, much more logical in the face of chaos and despair.

  I will miss Emma... but I never touched the pistol. The police will believe me if I tell them the truth.

  There was a second layer to the death that pulled at Ben's heart rather than his mind. He had been falling for Emma, almost completely. She had been everything he'd wanted in a friend, in a girlfriend, and now she was nothing.

  The depth of memories, those that he could he remember, along with those that he couldn't, had been almost limitless. Ben wished that he could have seen her for who she was from the beginning, done more to help her, and maybe changed the course of events.

  I can't think about that now. Rachel is still in danger!

  He was completely out of breath by the time he'd made it through the moon and star lit night and back to the small house that he and Rachel had shared. Her car was outside, and several other cars were parked along the street that Ben didn't recognize. His hair prickled on the back of his neck when he saw them.

  If I rush into this without thinking, I'm going to get both of us killed.

  Ben stood there for several long moments in the dark. He regretted not taking one of the extra weapons from Emma's house and bringing it with him to use to even the odds. There was no time left for that, not now. He had to face what was waiting for him, the true physical representation of his past sins.

  After taking a deep breath, Ben walked up the steps to the front door and casually rang the doorbell. A couple of seconds went by, and then the door opened.

  "Brandon," said Lenka. "We've finally found you."

  She looked much lik
e she had in Ben's memories, except a little older and a little softer. She wore a white robe similar to the one that Ben was so used to seeing, one still evocative of angels and innocence. Her breasts pushed out against the fabric, hanging nicely for a woman in her early forties.

  "Ben!" screamed Rachel from further inside. "They'll kill both of us. Run!"

  "I would do no such thing," said Lenka softly. "Brandon is of my brood. You know nothing of this boy, the boy you stole from us, harpy."

  "I didn't steal him!" yelled Rachel. "I... I love him."

  There was the sound of a slap from the living room, and Ben tried his best to hide his instinctive wincing from Lenka as he stood on the doorstep, playing his part.

  "I remember everything," said Ben. "Well, almost everything. But I remember enough. I'm back, Lenka, and I'm ready to continue my work."

  Lenka smiled and slowly nodded. She gingerly reached her hand out and set it on top of Ben's, sending a soft, loving chill through his body.

  "Come. Let us talk more about how things have been for you, Brandon." She pulled his hand forward, leading him into the house and up the stairs.

  "Ben..." Rachel whispered from where she was being held on the couch, her face streaked with tears. Pointing the gun at her was someone that Ben recognized, Kate Connors, the private investigator from earlier in the day. She smiled at him as though her subterfuge and betrayal had been something she’d decided to take pride in.

  "Lenka, we should leave the woman be," said Ben, as he followed her to the second floor. "She's done nothing other than feed me, and house me. I didn’t have any memory of what I'd been before in my life, and without someone like her, I would have died."

  "Nonsense, Brandon," whispered Lenka. "She is not your real mother. I... am your real mother."

  As though to underscore her point, Lenka stepped into Rachel's room, pulling Ben along with her and shutting the door behind them. She pushed him onto the bed and then stood in front of him, her fingers running across the fabric of her robe.

  "I never allowed any of them to stop looking for you." Lenka leaned forward over him as she spoke, and as much as Ben tried to keep himself under control, he began to get a little excited. "It's been so long. You are a man now, so big and strong."