by Donna Alam
Just like old times . . .
It’s odd staying in my childhood room again, especially in the very same twin bed I used to sleep in as a kid. It funny, though not that laughing kind, I think as I lie, staring at the ceiling. Funny how some things don’t change. Ten years on and I’m lying in the same bed, staring at the same ceiling, obsessing about the same boy. Except he’s no longer a boy. And I’m no longer that shy girl. Instead, I’m an angry one.
So angry. I’m angry with Addy for deciding what my life should be like. For who’s good enough to be my partner in life. Maybe once upon a time he could have called the shots—he had three years on me and that was a lot when we were teenagers. But this? I’m twenty-eight, now. And it’s not like he’s made all the right choices in his own life—I don’t need him to tell me how to live mine.
And yet he still tries. And right now, it’s pissing me off.
Coming back home is bittersweet—I love this house and all the memories contained, but I refuse to fall into my old role of younger sister. Something has got to give.
When I glance at the clock it’s gone eleven. I’ve been tossing and turning for over an hour. My angry thoughts change target and suddenly I have Josh on my mind. The way his mouth felt against mine. The touch of his tongue. How my insides had pounded as he’d covered my pussy with his palm. The way he’d run off as though he’d been shot in the butt.
But my mum is right. If I want something, I need to make it happen. I’m an adult, and I need to act like one.
I get out of bed and quickly change into jeans and a t-shirt, pulling my hair back before quietly creeping out of the house. It’s not far to Josh’s family home, and when I arrive the family room light is still on. I doubt his sister is still awake, so I guess I’m not the only one that can’t sleep.
I knock quietly on the window and it only takes two seconds before Josh opens it . . . in a pair of low slung shorts. And nothing else.
‘Is everything alright?’ he asks, stepping onto the porch and closing the front door behind him. So that’s the way he wants to play it.
‘I want to talk to you,’ I say, clearly and calmly, though how I’m calm I’m not sure. ‘I wanted to tell you I think you’re a coward.’ Okay, maybe not so calm.
He doesn’t answer beyond the lift of one brow. I’m not exactly sugar-coating my feelings, but he’s seen me angry before. Teased me about my temper.
‘If you want to be with me, be with me. Say so. Don’t tease me or tiptoe around my brother. He’s not my keeper and I don’t like being toyed with. At least, not without my permission.’
Discarding the thread that will probably make him hard, he pulls on the other.
‘Toyed—you think I didn’t mean to kiss you today? You think I don’t want more? Kallie, come on. I’m trying to do the right thing here.’
‘I am the right thing,’ I say trying hard to keep a check on my temper. ‘I wanted you to fuck me.’
Okay, so that wasn’t very subtle.
Josh shakes his head. ‘You make it sound so simple. I want you. So bad. But Addy is my oldest and best friend. And I get where he’s coming from. If I had a sister as great as you I would want better for you. Better than me.’
‘You don’t get to make decisions for me, Josh. And neither does he. I keep telling you I’m a big girl. When are you going to take me at my word?’ But he doesn’t answer. ‘So, what? You’re just going to ignore your feelings for me—feeling I know you have. And that’ll be it? You’re not going to fight for what you want?’
Josh crosses his arms over his chest. He’s getting angry now, too. Good.
‘Well, all that’s happening now is that I’m fighting with you, so I don’t see the point.’
‘Why are you being such a pussy about this? Why am I the only one fighting?’
‘Because you’re stubborn. You always were, you just hid it better then. Believe me, I’ve thought about it, but it’s just not that simple.’
‘Whatever,’ I spit out. ‘I’ve heard enough.’
Beofre I turn to walk away, I aim one last retort. ‘I get it. You don’t want me badly enough. Well you know what? There are plenty of men who would just love to f—’
I don’t get top answer as he grabs my wrist, pulling my body into his. I can smell the scent of his shampoo and the musk of his skin. God help me, will I ever get over this man. My anger evaporates like steam as his mouth covers my own. It’s a kiss of need, each of us trying to gain the upper hand out there on his porch.
‘I want you, Kallie,’ he whispers against my mouth. ‘I always have. But maybe the time isn’t right.’
As I palm his dick, he stops whispering the things I don’t want to hear. As he flexes into my hand he groans, and I suddenly hear it all. The frustration belying the desire.
This isn’t what I want. I deserve more than lust and confliction.
‘Will there ever be a right time?’
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. I take one last look at him as he searches for an answer that doesn’t come.
‘Yeah, I thought so,’ I reply. ‘You know what, Josh? You can just do one’ I flip him the bird over my shoulder as I walk away.
Chapter 6
Josh
Kallie is long gone and I’m lying in bed, arsehole that I am. I let her walk away from me. She came to my house to tell me how she felt, and I couldn’t give her the same courtesy
Gran always said the right thing is often the hardest, but I don’t think she was talking about my dick.
Talk about instant boner killer.
But on a more serious plain, hard and right might go hand in hand, but also cuts like a knife. I’m trying to do what’s right, to be a loyal friend to Ads—to do the right thing by Kallie. A girl like her deserves the white picket fence and the whole fucking deal. But none of this stops me from wanting her, even if it’s futile. The fact is, I think I’ve wanted her for the longest time.
Fuck this shit.
The thoughts fill my head as I swing my legs out of bed. She shouldn’t be the one to run after me, I should run after her. And since when have I stopped chasing my dreams? The thing I want? But as my gaze flicks to the clock, I see it’s already two in the morning. I can’t go now, but I will. As soon as tomorrow comes.
And tomorrow takes forever and a day to arrive, bringing rain that falls in sheets. I shower, dress, and make sure Rach and a-baby-not-named-Ralph don’t need anything before I leave.
‘I’m popping out for a bit. Will you be okay without me?’
‘Please, who needs you?’ she says, her words sputtering over her cup of tea.
‘Erm . . . ’
‘The last time I said I need a man, I ended up hugging a toilet bowl for four weeks.’
‘Rach, you and I need to establish a safe word.’
‘What? Why?’
‘Because sometimes the things you say step over the borders of my limits.’
‘Get out,’ she says, laughing. ‘And don’t bring home any babies.’
Babies? I won’t even be bringing any baby-juice home if I’m good. But I don’t tell my sister that because, boundaries.
Walking up the driveway, I’m impatient and antsy in the rain. I also get wet, strangely enough, but when I reach the front of the house, I realise there are no cars in the driveway. My heart hits my stomach, thinking she might not be here. I knock on the door anyway, elated when it opens and she’s standing on the other side.
‘Did I wake you?’ I ask softly. Fuck me, she looks like she’s just rolled out of bed. I try to ignore the fact that there’s a lot of soft, pale skin on display in as a consequence of her brief nightwear. I also try to ignore how her nipples stand to attention in the cold air. And fail.
‘I just woke up,’ she says with a yawn. ‘If you’re looking for Addy, he’s not in.’
‘I came to apologise about last night.’
‘You mean about being a pussy?’ When I don’t answer, she pauses for a beat as though w
eighing my sincerity. Then the door opens wider. ‘I suppose you’d better come in.’
She must work out, I decide as I follow her into the kitchen. Her ass is a dream. I almost trip over her as she stops just inside, turning suddenly. I try to pull my mind out of the gutter, focusing on why I’m here.
‘I’m sorry.’ I say, the words falling in a hurry. ‘I really do want to explain.’
She looks unimpressed. ‘Do you have something different to offer to the dialogue? Different from the bullshit of last night?
I deserve this—deserve her bad mood. She has a right to be angry, not that her attitude doesn’t piss me off.
‘I’m trying to apologise,’ I grate out, sounding anything put apologetic. ‘And keep your voice down, I don’t want to wake your mum.
‘Don’t tell me to be quiet in my own home,’ she almost yells. ‘I’m tired of people telling me what to do! Anyway, she’s not here, so fuck you.”
I smile. I don’t mean to, but I do anyway. It’s like we’re arguing kids again.
‘Look,’ I begin. ‘I just want to talk about last night. About what happened in the forest. I shouldn’t have done that.’
‘Done what, exactly? Kissed me? Or walked away? And you’d better think carefully before you choose.’
‘Both.’ The word is out before I engage my brain. ‘That came out wrong. What I mean is, I don’t regret kissing you, but I still feel like I need to apologise.’
‘You should,’ she says, ‘You’re a terrible kisser.’
‘Any you’re a terrible liar. your nipples, too.’
At this point, she’s reaching to take a cup out of the cabinet—only one cup. Her shoulders shake a little, and I hope it’s laughter over anger. And it’s pointedly obvious she’s not inviting me to stay
With her back still to me, she fills the kettle and puts it on as a roll of nearby thunder sounds.
“You do you, Joshy,’ she says, ignoring the darkening windows. ‘Just let me do me.’
God, she’s so full of shit. Good job I like her feisty.
I march straight to her, grab her by the shoulders and smash my lips against hers. Her body stays rigid for a barely a beat before melting as I kiss her again.
From arguing to fierce touches, our sighs fill the room. I run my hands down her back, cupping her ass to lift her onto the countertop. Our mouths still busy, I hook my hands under her knees and spread her wide, insinuating myself between her spread thighs.
‘Oh, God, she groans as I rub my hardness against where she’s soft.
‘You drive me insane,’ I growl against her neck. ‘And I want you so badly.’
‘So have me.’ Pulling back, she cradles my face in both of her hands. Desire and sincerity shine clear there. ‘Have me forever, or have me for now. Just choose.’
This woman, burning hot in my arm, deserves so much more. And with that thought, the light in the kitchen flickers, going out.
‘The power just went out,’ Kallie mumbles against my mouth.
‘Think we shorted the fuse with our heat, baby?’
‘That was terrible,’ she laughs, tilting her chin and giving me access to her neck.
‘Good job my cock is better than my jokes.’
‘If it was only two inches long, it’d be better than your jokes. ‘Please say it isn’t,’ she adds, all gravely.
‘You know, it’s not just my game that’s big.’ Along with my response, I lift her hand to my crotch.
Her eyes are dark as her teeth pressure her bottom lip again. This time, I do what I should’ve done yesterday. I kiss her again. Take her tongue between my teeth. Bite just enough to hear her breath hitch. Then I soothe her lip with my tongue.
‘You like that, hmm?’ I flex into her heat again.
‘So much,’ she answers breathlessly. ‘Fuck, do it again.’
‘How about I fuck you instead?
‘Yes, please,’ she answers desperately, her fingers tugging on my belt.
Instead, I lift her hands around my neck, sliding my own under her thighs to lift her into my arms. Still kissing and make my way to her childhood bedroom.
‘The inner sanctum,’ I say as we reach the door.
‘I’ve never had a boy in my bedroom before,’ she answers shyly. ‘At least, not this bedroom.’
I push the door open with my foot and lie her reverently on the small bed. Watch her avid expression as I pull my shirt over my head. Loosen the buckle of my belt. Pull off my pants. Take myself in my hand.
‘That’s . . . wow. I’ve never watched before.’
My chuckle is deep and low. ‘Feel free to take over any time. Come on, join the party.’
‘I prefer watching from the cheap seats.’
‘No more playing,’ I growl, climbing onto the bed. Moments later, she’s naked below me, skin to skin. My hands roam her body as though I can’t touch enough of her, hers mirroring mine. Her tits are full and round and fit perfectly into my pal. Her thighs are lithe and her ass so firm it makes me want to defile it in ways that would probably frighten her.
I begin to kiss my way down her body, licking and kissing the length of her neck before taking each of her nipples into my mouth. I alternate with teeth and tongue, finding her opening with my fingers, warm and slick. God, how she moans as I slip one finger inside.
‘I need—’
“I know, Kallie,’ I murmur, working my lips and tongue over her stomach, licking and kissing as I go. As my mouth reaches her bare pussy, she stills.
‘You don’t have—’
What kinds of men has she been with? In answer, I slide two fingers inside and my tongue between her slick lips.
‘Fuck! Oh, Josh.’ She spreads her legs wider, and I flick her clit with my tongue before covering it with my mouth.
I lick and suck, flick, and tongue fuck, until she’d writhing so beautifully beneath me. Her enjoyment is so clear that I have to put my hand on her stomach to hold her still. It doesn’t take very long before her first orgasm rocks through her body and she calls out my name, long and loud.
For more than just this reason, I’m glad we’re alone.
Chapter 7
Kallie
Josh’s magic tongue and fingers working me into delirium, I’m sure. With his mouth on my pussy I don’t know up from down and I can’t think straight anymore. But I do want more. I want his cock in my mouth. I want to taste him. I want to touch him everywhere. But most of all, I want to be fucked by him.
When I come down from my orgasm, Josh crawls up my body, almost planking over me.
‘Do you forgive me?’ he asks. ‘For all the times I’ve been an asshole.’
His mouth glistens with my essence and we’re both breathing hard. That’s not all that’s hard, I notice, as his hard cock touches my stomach.
‘Ask me later. When I’ve recovered the power of speech.’
He chuckles. ‘Pretty sure you just spoke there.
‘That’s just the auto-pilot. I need to recover the use of my brain first.’
‘And you have such big . . . brains,’ he says, taking my tits into his hands.
‘Brains plural. I must be super smart.’
As he laughs, suddenly becoming serious. ‘I want you, Kallie. And not just sex. I mean, I am going to fuck you—’ Hurray! ‘—but I want more than that. I want to be with you, too. Wherever. Here, or the States. I’ve wanted it for so long. But you’re right, I have been a coward, but not anymore.’
I blink back at him. That he wants to fuck me turns me the hell on, that he wants to be with me? I feel like my heart has wings—I didn’t think I would ever hear those words out of his mouth.
‘I want to be with you, too,’ I whisper. ‘God, I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, but I guess you already know that.’
Josh smile as he strokes my hair, studying my face before he speaks. ‘No, sweetheart. That was just a crush. But what we have now? It could be everything.’
‘It’s okay,” I tell him, threa
ding and arm around his neck. ‘You’re about to make it up to me. Lots and lots of times.’
His soft smile turns devilish. ‘Is that so? Care to tell me how?’
I lift my head, my mouth right against his ear. ‘Well,’ I whisper, skating my free hand down his side on my way to taking hold of his thick cock. ‘I think you were just about to put this inside me.’
I don’t have to ask him twice as Josh pulls back, releasing a low, feral growl before kissing me again, long and hard. He’s a blur of motion as he takes my hands, pinning them either side of my head. And, with one snap of his hips, he positions himself at my entrance. I lift my hips to meet him, crying out as he pushes into in one long thrust. My body yields to his length and girth, stretching to accommodate him as I whisper his name.
When he’s seated deep inside of me, Josh looks into my eyes before he starts moving his hips in small circles, sliding deeper and deeper until I feel impossibly filled. He pulls back and drives back in, once, twice, moving faster this time, his jaw flexing as he begins to fuck me harder and harder, the exquisite attentions of his body driving me insane. I can’t believe I’ve waited over a decade for this kind of ecstasy. No one has ever fucked me like this—with such ferocity and yet such tenderness. All these years I could’ve been at the receiving end of—
Josh growls, the power in his next thrust pushing me up my thin bed.
I cry out as he moves his bodyweight to his forearms to kiss me long and deep, the change of position gifting my clit with delicious friction. Pleasure begins to build in my core sending waves of electricity across my skin, my climax hitting me almost immediately. I grab onto his shoulders as though to stop myself from being drowned in the sea of pleasure.
‘Oh, fuck,’ he grates out as my insides clench around him. ‘Fuck, that’s so—Engh!’
The end of his sentence goes unfinished as he thrusts again, finding his own release.
We’re a tangle of skin and harsh breaths when he suddenly kisses me. Kisses my eyes, my face, my neck—kisses me so fast and furiously, it makes me giggle. And then I realise he’s hard again.
