Slash and Burn

by Jade C. Jamison

  He smiled. “You are gonna have to save it, young lady. We need to be on the bus in a couple of hours.”

  “Yeah. Time for a quickie.”

  “You’re hard to resist, babe, but I need something to eat. You completely drained the life out of me.” He could tell she’d been well-sexed because either she didn’t pick up on his use of the word babe again or she just didn’t care. She pulled her body up to his again, mashing her breasts into his chest, and kissed him.

  Oh, she was tempting. And if Angie hadn’t been lying on the other side of her, he might have taken her up on her offer. Instead, he kissed her on the nose and said, “I need to shower.”

  “You showered last night, Nicky Sticks.”

  “Yeah, that was before the Sexalympics.”

  She laughed. “Okay, you got me.” Then, “Can I join you?”

  He nodded. He’d be more than content to do anything with this woman any time of day, any day of the week. All she had to do was ask.

  * * *

  Later that day on the bus, Nick was grinning from ear to ear. He knew Val and Brad wondered what the hell was up with him, but he didn’t care what they thought. He couldn’t wipe it off his face. He kept dozing off on one of the couches, because last night was taking its toll.

  Gracie gave him an odd look at one point but said nothing.

  He fell asleep again, and when he awoke, no one else was in the living area with him, but the bus was still moving, so he wandered toward the back. Brad, Val, Gracie, and the kids were in the back bedroom playing a videogame. He’d forgotten they had a TV/DVD/game system setup back there. It would definitely be a great way to pass the time, especially when the kids got antsy.

  Brad nodded at Nick from his spot on the floor. Hayley was sitting in his lap and Chris sat on the floor next to him. Val was lying on the bed awake, reading a book, and Gracie was sitting in a chair watching the videogame action.

  “Everyone disappeared.”

  Brad grinned. “The kids were acting bored and that’s dangerous when there’s still over a hundred miles to go.”

  Gracie said, “You missed lunch. We tried to wake you.”

  Nick shrugged. He could find something to eat when they got there. “How close are we?”

  Brad looked up from the action, his character in the game having died. “About ten minutes, give or take.”

  Nick couldn’t remember their next stop—all he could remember was that it was somewhere in Indiana. Wanting to give his girlfriend a heads up, Nick left the room and walked past the bathroom area to tap on the frame beside Brina’s bunk. “Hey, we’re almost there.” No answer. He decided to gently wake her, and he pulled the curtain back a little. She was awake, though, something he hadn’t expected, and she was typing on her phone with her thumbs—texting.

  He had no words at first, simply because he was shocked. “I didn’t know if you heard me—we’re almost there.”

  “Yeah, I heard you.”

  He was curious as hell about what she was doing, but he wasn’t going to say anything. He wasn’t going to let her curtness slide, however. “Don’t you think it’s kind of rude to not acknowledge me?”

  She cocked an eyebrow, but her eyes were still glued to the phone screen. “What? Are you feeling insecure, Nick? Do you need constant acknowledgement?”

  Most of the things he wanted to say he thought would be perceived as weak and feminine, something Brina would jump all over. Her tone was completely bitchy and he wanted to challenge her, but he didn’t want to give her more fodder and he definitely didn’t want to come off as insecure and needy…even though he was starting to feel that way. That meant there was only one way to react. “Fuck off.” He slid the curtain closed again and walked back toward the front of the bus, sitting down where he had been when he awakened.

  The problem was he was growing angrier the more he sat there. He wanted to tear into Brina, but he had the feeling she was a ruthless fighter. The problem was that he gave a shit. He cared way too much for her, and the only reason why he was beginning to think that was because he was pretty sure she didn’t feel the same way. Instead of trying to reassure him, she took the playground bully tactic of turning it around on him.

  He knew, because he’d survived that shit all those years ago.

  He was seething, and he couldn’t wait until they got to the next city. He needed to be completely alone and, until he left the bus, that would be impossible, because they were spending the night there before their busy day ahead.

  Gracie walked down the hall and sat next to Nick, but she didn’t say a word. He wondered if she’d heard any of the bullshit that had transpired between him and Brina, and he really didn’t care. After a minute or so, she placed her hand on Nick’s and squeezed. Somehow Gracie always knew the right thing to do. He looked up and into her beautiful green eyes and smiled. His reward was her gentle smile in return.

  They sat in silence for a while as the bus maneuvered through first a busy freeway and then off onto smaller roads, making a series of clunky turns (something Nick never found fun on the bus) over the course of the next several minutes before coming to a complete stop. Well, it might have been ten minutes to the city from when he’d asked Brad, but it had been another ten-plus after that to get to their destination.

  By the time the bus stopped, he was ready to jump out of his skin. Instead, he made a beeline for the door. Gracie asked, “Where are you going?”

  Yeah, okay, so jumping up from the couch had been somewhat rude. He turned and said, “I’m a little stir crazy. I need some fresh air. I’ll be back.” After he’d taken a step down, he said, “I have my phone if you guys need me soon.”

  Hitting the gravel in the parking lot, it didn’t take him long to realize it was fucking freezing outside. Jesus. Going back inside, to claim a jacket or not, would just make him angrier, as though he were admitting defeat. Yeah, it was nonsensical, but he couldn’t shake that feeling. So he stood beside the bus for a minute, trying to decide if he could brave it enough to walk around without warmth or if he should stop being a stubborn ass and get a jacket.

  It wasn’t another minute before Gracie walked off the bus, adorned in her red coat with fur lining, holding Nick’s leather jacket. “Maybe you could use this?”

  He grinned, in spite of himself. “Maybe.”

  “I certainly don’t feel like carrying it around everywhere. You could really help me out by putting it on.”

  He took the jacket from her and started pulling it on, eager for the warmth it would provide. “What? You don’t think I can take a little cold?”

  “Yeah, Mr. Macho. I suppose I can take it back inside if you’d rather.”

  He shrugged. “Nah. Let’s find a place to eat. I’m buying.”

  “I’m not hungry. But maybe a cup of hot cocoa.”

  “You got it.” Nick looked around. “I wonder which way we should go.”

  Gracie pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I can Google something.”

  “Hell, no. Let’s just look around.” They started walking but Gracie was still tapping on her cell screen. Oh, fucking texts again. He was pretty sick of phones but he didn’t say anything. Good thing, too, because Gracie had no problems telling him what was going on. “I was just letting Val know I’ll be back in a while to watch the kids if she needs me to.” If he’d said something before that, he would have come off as a complete dick.

  Nick nodded. They walked in silence for a while, and Nick was glad Gracie had brought his jacket when he saw a couple of snowflakes fall. He thought maybe he should express his gratitude. “Hey, thanks for fetching me the jacket.”

  She laughed. “Thanks for not being as stubborn as me.”

  That made him laugh too, and he was glad Gracie was along, but he didn’t have much else to say. He supposed that it was good they were close friends, because—unlike other people—Nick never felt like he had to say something to her just because she was around. It was okay to not talk around each other.
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  As they started walking down a busy street, Nick considered flagging down a cab, but he spied a couple of restaurants a little down the way and changed his mind. “Either of those places look okay?”

  Gracie nodded. “Sure. I’ll settle for a coffee if they don’t have hot cocoa.”

  Nick pointed across the street another block away and said, “I’ll do you one better. If they don’t have hot cocoa, I’ll take you to that Starbucks over there. They have hot cocoa, don’t they?”

  “Yep, they do. Some of the best.”

  Nick couldn’t help but smile at his friend. Her nose was red from the cold air, but her grin was wide and infectious. He wondered why more women couldn’t be like Gracie—happy, laidback, low maintenance. Hell, he didn’t know of any other women who would have been as cool about accidentally having sex with their best friend as Gracie had been. It could have been awkward and impossible to move past, but her cool attitude made it manageable. Nick had felt like an asshole, but he would have felt even worse had she not been so mellow about it. Feeling affectionate, he slung an arm over her shoulder and they walked the remaining few yards to the entrance of a café and walked in. “Let’s warm up.” She nodded. “If the snow starts falling harder, I’ll pay for a cab back to the bus. Once the sun goes down, the temperature’s gonna drop more.”

  The grin on Gracie’s face said it all—she was giving him grief. “Bet you’re really glad you’re wearing a jacket now.”

  He shook his head as they found a booth. “You’re not gonna let that go, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  He laughed. Gracie always managed to make him feel better, no matter his mood beforehand. So they ordered—Gracie got some hot tea and a bowl of chili, and Nick ordered a double bacon cheeseburger, onion rings, and a large Pepsi.

  He’d been hoping to keep the mood light, but because Gracie was a good friend, of course she wouldn’t let it stay there. Once the waiter had left their table, she said, “So what’s going on with your girlfriend?”

  Nick hoped his face wouldn’t give shit away. “What do you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean. One second, you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you look like you’re ready to jump off the nearest bridge. What the hell kind of hold does that woman have over you, Nick?”

  He shrugged, hoping he looked casual. “She doesn’t.”

  “Really.” The waiter brought their drinks, and Gracie held her hands to the side of the tea cup for a moment to warm her fingers. Then she sat up straight. “Does this look familiar?” She put a huge cheesy grin on her face and looked all around the room, pretending to make eye contact with other people, and then she stared Nick in the eye, the silly smile still attached, and she began wiggling her eyebrows up and down. She then lowered her voice, a poor imitation of Nick, but he still knew she was poking fun at him. “I’m so in love. I just got laid. I’ve got it bad.”

  He was pissed at himself that he was finding her amusing. “I’m not that bad.”

  “Like hell you’re not.” She took a sip of her tea. “You knew I was pretending to be you. What’s that tell you?” He rolled his eyes. “Okay, now, this is just a couple of hours later.” Again, she lowered her voice, but this time she frowned and the downturn of her lips was exaggerated, as though she were a little kid pouting. “Oh, woe is me. She doesn’t love me back. I feel like I’m gonna die.”

  Nick sighed and shook his head again. “Aw, c’mon, Gracie. You know I’m not that bad.” She stared at him. “Whatever.”

  “Okay, so you’re not that bad, but trust me when I tell you you’re pretty pathetic. I’ve never seen you wear your heart on your sleeve so much.”

  Time to come clean. He took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to tell Gracie what was on his mind, and then he realized he just had to say it as best he could. She was his best friend. She probably already knew. “Have you ever been in love?”

  Gracie’s eyes grew wistful, as though Nick had cut open an old wound. “Yeah, actually.” She took a deep breath. “Do you love Sabrina?”

  “Yeah, I do…but what sucks the most is I don’t think she loves me back…or she does love me back, but she doesn’t love me as much as I love her. Or she doesn’t know how to love.”

  He could tell from Gracie’s facial expression that she was holding back. That was probably okay, because he didn’t want to hear anything negative. “I can’t answer that, Nick, because I really don’t know her. I don’t think she likes me very much.” Nick shrugged again, not sure how to answer, but she continued talking. “That doesn’t matter, though. A lot of women get freaky when their boyfriend has a good friend who’s a woman. They don’t get how that works. I think they think it means we might accidentally sleep together.”

  Nick watched Grace’s face go from pale to bright pink in seconds, and he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Maybe they’re right.”

  She shook her head. “Okay, that was dumb. Sorry. But that would never have happened if you’d been dating her then. I promise.”

  He couldn’t help but continue ribbing her. “What makes you so sure of that?”

  Gracie stammered and then said, “I just know.” She took another sip of her tea and continued. “But here’s the point I’ve been trying to make. Nick, she’s got your heart and guts all twisted up in knots. You’re—I’ve never seen you this torn up before. She gets under your skin and rips you to shreds.”

  “Isn’t that how love’s supposed to work? Isn’t it supposed to make you feel inside out, upside down?”

  “Yeah, but in a good way.” She shook her head and looked away, towards the kitchen doors. Nick knew it wasn’t that she was impatient for the food, but she was collecting her thoughts. Her eyes connected with his again once she knew what she wanted to say. “You seem miserable, Nick. Like earlier…when you went to wake her up. I didn’t hear any of what either of you actually said, but you sounded hurt and angry and it sounded like she was blowing you off.”

  Oh, she’d done way more than blow him off, but he wasn’t going to tell Gracie that. He felt like he would somehow be betraying Brina by even allowing Gracie to talk about her, and Nick wasn’t going to say anything negative about his girlfriend. Yeah, she had issues, but they’d work through them. He also understood Gracie’s concerns—as his best friend, she was worried about him. “Gracie, you’re so goddamned sweet. I appreciate that you care for me and you want to make sure I don’t get hurt, but everything’s fine, okay? Brina and I…we still have lots of weird hurdles to get over. You know I’ve never been serious about a woman—ever—so she has to adjust to me not having a clue about what she wants or needs in our relationship, and she…well, I think she’s still getting over Monica.”

  “Who’s Monica?”

  “Her ex-girlfriend. And this whole trip’s been tough on her. She’s never been on tour before, never played in front of crowds this big, never had to be away from home this long. It’s all new to her, and I’m trying to give her the support she needs.” He patted Gracie’s hand. “Thanks for worrying about me, Gracie. It means a lot to me. Yeah, I have some guy friends, but I’ve told you shit I’d never tell them. You and I have shared some times I would never have been able to share with them. We’ve done a lot of things together that guys just don’t do. Anyway, the point is I know where you’re coming from and I appreciate it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  She smiled, but it looked like a sad smile. Still…he’d said what she needed to hear. She needed to know he wasn’t going to give up on Brina just because of one grouchy moment…or two. Part of him wanted to ask Gracie what she thought of the weird texting Brina was doing, but she was being a possessive, worrisome friend, and he didn’t need to give her more fuel for her fire.

  He might talk to Brad about it, get some solid guy advice, but in the meantime, he was going to put on a happy face. The waiter arrived just in time with their food and Nick said, “You hungry?”

  He could tell she was lyin
g when she said yes, but at least he was finally able to change the subject.

  Chapter Eighteen

  AFTER CALLING A cab—first having stopped at Starbucks to get Gracie the hot cocoa he’d promised—he asked that they stop by a liquor store before heading back, and then he tried and failed to give good directions back to the bus. Fortunately, Gracie was able to tell the driver where to go and then, after Nick got a bottle of Wild Turkey, they headed back.

  He knew she had more on her mind, but Gracie was nothing if not smart. She understood today would be a bad day to continue talking, so she kept her trap shut.

  Nick started drinking while they were still in the cab, and he knew that was part of why he overtipped the cabbie. But the guy had been driving in snow and he’d dealt with Nick’s shitty directions without getting impatient. The guy deserved a decent tip.

  He was in no mood to deal with Sabrina’s bullshit right now, though. What had driven him mad before they’d gotten together was the same thing that was making him crazy now—her temperature fluctuations that seemed to have no rhyme or reason, but especially the fact that she seemed to prefer the lower side of the thermometer. Now that he was falling for her hard, he didn’t know how to handle his emotions when it came to her.

  So he was going to drink.

  And maybe, just maybe, he’d get his buddy Brad to have a drink with him as well, and he could ask him what he thought of Brina’s bizarre and secretive texting behavior.

  By the time the cabbie dropped them off next to their bus, Nick had downed the equivalent of what he estimated to be five shots. Yeah, he was feeling good. His legs tried to be wobbly, but he managed to walk a straight line. Even so, he was happy again, and he didn’t give much of a shit if it was liquor happy as opposed to reality happy. He was feeling great, and even bitchy Brina couldn’t stop that.

  When they walked in the bus, Nick hugged Gracie tightly, probably too tight based on the sound she made before he let go, and he said, “I love you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”