I Am The Alpha

by A. J. Downey

  I went to push myself up, but a gentle palm between my shoulder blades pressed me back to the mattress. He leaned over the top of me and sought my entrance with the head of his cock. I was more than ready to have him inside me. I ached for it, I wanted nothing more than to be as close to him as possible. I was well aware that these stolen moments were growing fewer and that I may not be able to stay with him or him with me. The future was such a convoluted mess of secret organizations, political dealings and an utter cluster fuck of race wars… God! I resolutely shoved those thoughts from my mind as William slid into me, making me groan, my hips raising off the bed ever so slightly to meet his gentle thrust. And there it was. With William inside me we were very nearly as physically close as it was possible for two people to be. And I needed that. I needed to feel close to him to feel filled by him.

  His palms found the backs of my hands, his fingers laced between mine and he held them to the mattress and let his hips do all the work.

  “William!” His name spilled from my lips, an impassioned plea for him to never let me go and he moaned, a tortured indecisive sound. I cried out, “Oh!” as he rode over that sensitive place inside me, his thrusting causing just the right amount of friction against that sensitive bundle of nerves against the covers.

  My body grew weighted with that sense of impending orgasm and I squeezed my pussy tight, down around him. William gasped and bit the back of my shoulder sending a jolting little thrill through my body.

  “Oh God! Oh Yes!” I gasped desperately. I wanted him to. I could deal with forever tomorrow, but I wanted him to so badly. He growled, a passion filled, yet frustrated sound and I bit my bottom lip.

  “Please? Oh God, please William!” He bit down harder and I screamed as the wave of orgasm swamped me, pulling me under, rolling me so completely that up became down, left became right, and night became day, as wild starbursts of white hot light went off behind my tightly shut eyelids.

  I lay panting on my stomach, William a warm weight pressing me into the covers. He groaned and rolled off to the side of me, slipping from my body. I pushed myself into a sitting position slowly, my left shoulder where it curved up into my neck giving an angry throb. I looked at William who was looking at me, deathly pale. Panic in his eyes, a dot of crimson on his bottom lip. I touched my shoulder and neck and looked at my fingertips which were stained with a bit more of my blood.

  “Oh shit, oh Chloe…” he looked so afraid and I didn’t want him to be, I wanted him to know that I accepted this. I understood, I looked at William who looked at me with an expression that was half drunk and half dazed. I scooted across the bed closer to him, and reached for him, capturing his face between my hands.

  I kissed him then and sweet copper pennies exploded across my tongue. Beneath that, the pure masculine taste of William. He froze for a moment then crushed me to him as I kissed my hearts blood from his lips and drank his insecurities. I loved him. It was terrifying and things were so uncertain and I quailed when it came to saying the words aloud and so I let my body do the talking. It could speak for me when I feared my voice would only betray me. I was so afraid, afraid for William, for myself, and for what all of this would mean and I didn’t want him to think I feared him. Because I didn’t. Because I couldn’t. Because there, bathed in moonlight and held in his embrace I knew that I loved him, and I didn’t even know how it’d happened.

  Chapter 13

  William

  I’m sure my eyes were ridiculously wide. They certainly felt like it. My heart was pounding so hard and so fast in my chest that I couldn’t get my breath. I felt like I was having a heart attack. Could I even have a heart attack? Was that even possible for one of us? A stroke perhaps?

  Then she kissed me, and some of the terror fled from my body. There was a fervent desire in her kiss. A passion that hadn’t been as prominent before. She was always passionate, but that kiss just seemed different, stronger, more sure than any before it.

  We made love again and after, she fell asleep, tangled in my arms with her head resting comfortably on my chest, the blankets drawn over us to ward off the chill. I had tried to get up to close the ceiling but she had refused, watching the stars from her place on my chest until her eyes had grown too heavy and she’d fallen asleep. I’d found sleep to be a far more elusive thing. Wolf-kind mating with a person still human wasn’t unheard of. It just wasn’t exceptionally common. But still, it did happen. The problem was, I honestly hadn’t paid that much attention when the Betas went over the lessons on the mating bite. I needed to talk to someone. I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t, and so I carefully extracted myself from beneath Chloe.

  Dressing silently by the light of the moon, I quietly closed the ceiling to make sure she would be warm enough, before I headed for the stairs and padded down them as silently as I could. I really needed to make a call and I didn’t want to wake her. I slipped through the house, bare feet silent on the carpet leading to the stairs by the kitchen that led down to my first floor workshop. I stepped into a pair of my steel toed work boots at the bottom of the steps before I stepped out onto the concrete floor. With a flip of a switch the lights came on, glinting cold and bright off of various bits of metal. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and hit a single speed dial number. The phone rang and I bounced nervously on my toes while I waited.

  “Come on, come on, come on, you cantankerous old bastard. Answer your fucking phone. Please.”

  “I picked up five seconds ago, Pup. Cantankerous?”

  I couldn’t help but grin. “I noticed you don’t question ‘old’ or ‘bastard’.”

  “Can’t question what’s true,” he laughed. “It is two in the morning though, Son. What’s the problem?”

  “I need to talk to you, Markus.”

  “I gathered as much, thought that was why we were on the horn.”

  “No, not on the phone. In person.”

  He sighed, not exactly upset but I could tell he had other things on his mind.

  “All right. Head on over and–”

  “No,” I cut him off. “Sorry, Markus. Could you come here? I don’t trust the twins or any of their supporters, I don’t want to leave Chloe alone if I can help it.”

  There was silence for a few moments and I fidgeted anxiously, shifting my weight from foot to foot. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Markus always had a way of making me feel like a little kid being sent to the principal’s office at school and his weighted silence on the other end of the line was no exception here. I couldn’t fault him for it. It was just in his nature.

  “I’ll bring the beer,” he said finally.

  “I have the troubles,” I said, tone weighted with guilt, heavy with regret.

  “See you in fifteen, Pup.”

  I hung up and went about straightening up my work shop. It was already neat and orderly with a damned near military precision, but the whole place needed dusting. My cleaning service might have done an excellent job with my living space upstairs but they were under very strict orders not to touch my workshop, so for the last two weeks it had simply been collecting dust while I was gone on my cross country kidnapping expedition.

  True to his word, fifteen minutes, almost precisely, after he hung up I heard the crunch of gravel under tires outside and the telltale glow of headlights under the crack in the front door. I pulled the door open before he could knock and beckoned for the old wolf to come in.

  “Thanks Markus,” I muttered and he nodded once before he pulled a Coors from the case he held in one hand and held it out. I took the beer and he set the case down on the work table nearest the door, giving my tree an appraising look.

  “Another week?” he asked with a jerk of his head toward the monstrosity.

  “‘Bout that, if I get a chance to just sit and work without all the chaos.”

  “Can’t count on that, Son, you’d better be prepared to work when you can around everything else, structure things so you’ve got the most opportunity possibl
y. Did you never pay attention to anything I taught you?” his words were reprimanding but his tone was gentle. Markus had been there my entire life since becoming wolf-kind. He was as close to an uncle as I had after my family died and now Father…

  “What’s got you so anxious, Son?” he asked. “I ain’t seen you so nervous since you asked Nora out twenty or thirty years ago.”

  I winced at the memory. “Yeah, I don’t really remember asking her out. I was pretty drunk. But I do remember her kicking the ever loving shit out of me for my efforts.”

  Markus cracked open a beer and chugged down half of it in a single go before he set it down and grinned at me.

  “Yeah, we had a few bets going on how many of your bones she was going to break,” he said with a laugh and I glared at him. “Anyways, quit stalling, Boy. What’d you drag me out here for?”

  I looked at the still unopened beer in my hands, turning it slowly round and round in my fingers. ‘The Silver Bullet’ it read on the side. Ironic. I cracked the can open, shaking a bit of foam off of my fingers and looked directly at Markus.

  “Is the wolf ever wrong?” I asked. He arched an eyebrow at me and considered that for a moment while I chugged down some of my beer.

  “Wrong how? About what?”

  “About a mate?”

  Both eyebrows went up this time, climbing toward his hairline in record time until he had the most gob-smacked expression on his face that I think I’d ever seen on him.

  “You didn’t?” he almost whispered. I didn’t say anything, just stared down at the can clasped tightly between my hands.

  He blew out a breath and leaned back against the table, grabbing another beer out of the case both for me and for himself even though neither of us had finished our first can yet.

  We chugged back the last of our beers and cracked open the second can as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at the floor in fierce contemplation. I drank my beer and waited as patiently as possible for him to finish his thought.

  “Ever hear, ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’, Boy?” Markus shook his head. “Our hearts are wild, our hearts are our wolf. You can’t argue with them, you can’t reason with them, and you usually shouldn’t try, they really do know best.”

  I sagged with a sense of relief that was painfully short lived as he took another long swig of his beer and continued talking.

  “That being said, just because the wolf wants a certain woman, doesn’t mean that it’s going to work out. That’s why we’re so careful about choosing a mate. And if she’s wolf-kind, well that just makes it easier.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “The problem with marking a human is they don’t have the wolf to tell them if they find you a suitable mate. Yeah, your wolf recognizes that she would make a fine mate for you, but what if her wolf, theoretically, doesn’t feel that you would be a good mate for her?”

  I was getting confused, I’ll admit. “But she doesn’t have a wolf…”

  “Exactly my point. Would you let her stay that way? Would you want her to? Would she? If she doesn’t become wolf-kind now then you’re in for a world of hurt, Son. Wolves mate for life, you know that. If she stays human you’ll outlive her by a fair stretch. Eventually she’ll start to look like your mom, then your grand-mom, then she’ll die of old age and you’ll look like you’re in your thirties at best.

  “And since she doesn’t have a wolf, we don’t know how she thinks of you in the end. If she were to mark you too, that would be ideal, but she doesn’t have a wolf, no mark from her would be taken seriously at this point.” He chugged back some more of his beer. “And did you even stop to consider the political ramifications right now?”

  “Political… what?” my head was spinning. I really wished I had paid more attention when this was explained to me years ago.

  Markus tossed aside his empty can and came over to put his hands on my shoulders. “William, look at me.” I met his eyes, fearfully I must admit. “You’re angling to become the new Alpha. Personally, I think it’s a brilliant idea, especially over either of those brothers of yers. But what do you think this decision, this action will mean to the rest of the Pack?”

  I felt a stab of anger at that. “And what, if any opinion, does the Pack think they have about my private life?”

  “There’s your problem, Boy. You want to be Alpha, and I agree that over the twins you’re a much better choice, but you seem to think that you can be Alpha of the largest Pack around and still live your life the way you have been. You’ll be responsible for hundreds of wolf-kind. Protecting our territory. Negotiating with the Alphas of other Packs.” He jabbed his finger into my chest. “And if the Pack feels that you marking a human, a Hunter’s daughter especially, is a hasty or stupid decision? Do you honestly think they’ll see you as Alpha material under those circumstances?”

  Oh.

  “Shit,” I muttered and Markus snorted out a laugh.

  “Yeah, you stepped in it Sonny Jim, and it might not be an easy fix. I like your little girlie. She’s got some fire in her and I can see what you like about her…” A low growl erupted from my throat before I even thought about it and he stepped back, hands held out in a warding gesture. “Hey, don’t get me wrong. She’s a beautiful and interesting girl but she ain’t my type. And that’s what I’m talking about. You can’t have reactions like that over something as simple as someone paying your mate a compliment. You’ve got to learn to pick and choose your battles, Boy.” I stopped growling, feeling a touch contrite for my reaction. It was definitely overkill and uncalled for. I would have to watch that, and carefully in the future.

  “You’re gonna have to prepare her, William.”

  “I’m not exactly sure how.”

  “Does she know what the mark means?”

  “I explained it to her, briefly. We were talking about it just when you guys showed up here earlier.”

  He nodded and tossed me another beer.

  “Alright,” he said as he cracked open his third. “We’ve got a lot to discuss. First and foremost. Don’t worry about if she loves you, or if the mark would be reciprocated for now. Even if it’s driving you crazy, you act like it’s the furthest thing from your mind, especially in front of the Pack. Pack members like Sharon won’t get it. Nora might be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but it’s hard to say, so better not chance it.” He took a swig and pointed at me around the can he still held. “And you can’t bring up becoming wolf-kind to her, you get me? You don’t say word one to her about that.”

  “But–”

  “Not word one. You promise me, Son. I’m speaking as Arbiter now, if that adds any weight. Trust me, you do not want to throw that kind of pressure on her right now.”

  “I promised her, and myself, that I would never lie to her.”

  “This is a different situation, Kid. You keep this from her and maybe she’ll be mad at you later. You don’t, and she feels pressure to become wolf-kind when it’s not a fit for her, she learns to resent you, maybe even hate you later. Do you really want that, seeing as the deed is already done? To be mated to someone who hates you? Ain’t no such thing as a divorce in our world, you know that.” He set his half empty can down on my table and straightened up.

  “Look. Think about it. Don’t make any more rash decisions, alright? Go upstairs, get some sleep, and we’ll talk more tomorrow. Got it?” I nodded, feeling miserable. I had dug myself a hole here and I didn’t see any way out of it. Markus hugged me and I returned the gesture.

  “Thanks Markus.”

  “Don’t sweat it, Kid.” He gestured to the cardboard case on my work table. “And you can keep the beer. Save it for later though, eh? Clear head tomorrow.”

  I nodded and saw him out, locking the door behind him and arming the security system. A part of me wanted to just leave the empty cans and the half empty case of beer to be dealt with tomorrow but I couldn’t do it. The cans were collected, washed, and placed into recycling. I took the
beer upstairs and tucked it onto a bottom shelf in my fridge.

  Once that was done, I dragged myself to my bedroom. The nervous energy I had felt before gone. My arms and legs felt heavy, something I couldn’t blame on only three cans of beer. It was like the crash after a rush of adrenaline. I had a sort of answer to the troubling questions that had been keeping me awake earlier, but I didn’t really feel any better.

  In fact, I think I felt worse. Guilty, in particular. Markus was right though. I couldn’t remind her about how differently we would age. I couldn’t bring anything like it up to her or I would be influencing her and her possible decisions and that wouldn’t be fair to her or to myself in the long run. It still sucked rancid buffalo testicles, but I understood.

  I sighed and dragged myself into my room to find Chloe still sound asleep in my bed where I’d left her. She had rolled onto her side beneath the blanket facing away from the door and I winced slightly, seeing the dark mark on her shoulder left by my teeth. The wound had scabbed over already, which wasn’t too surprising. Wolf-kind made it, so it would heal faster than a normal bite would.

  I pulled my chair over, a leather wing back that I had picked up years ago in an antique store, and sat in it near the bed. I wanted to lay down. I wanted to gather her into my arms and close my eyes and just sleep surrounded by Chloe and her smell of sun ripened peaches. But I couldn’t. My body was dead tired but my brain wouldn’t stop spinning. Chloe. Romulus. Remus. Mathias. Markus. The Pack. There were so many things that counted on me, so many things I needed to deal with to secure being the Alpha. And any one thing going wrong could spell disaster for all of it.

  And what about the Hunters? Come to think of it, Mathias wouldn’t take this lying down. He was probably chomping at the bit to get his daughter back and here she was, marked as a wolf-kind’s mate. That was sure to give the man a coronary. I couldn’t help but worry that it added another dimension of danger for Chloe. Hell, I knew it added more to the pile for me.