I set my fibers on the hull and thought open a portal.
Poof, I was in.
“Close the damn wall and deploy a full membrane,” I shouted.
“Hello to you too, Pilot,” said Al.
“No joking. Are those done?”
“Of course, Pilot. We are rescuing you, aren’t we? Wouldn’t be a very good rescue if we left the door open.”
“You’re not …” I started to say something when I noticed Garustfulous standing right next to me.
“Did you miss me, Ryan. Believe it or not, I missed you.” He waved like I was sailing away on a cruise ship. Surreal.
“Take us to the far side of the Sagittarius A* supermassive black hole now, one hundred parsecs out.”
I felt the most welcome slight nausea of my life.
“From this distance, time dilation effects will be considerable. I suggest we withdraw if you feel it’s safe, Form.” It was Stingray. Man, it was good to hear her monotonous voice again.
“Don’t rush him, dearest. His head is no doubt still spinning,” Al chimed in.
Did I hear him call her dearest? Naw. My head was just still spinning.
“I preformed the ceremony, you know?” said Garustfulous right into the side of my face. Dude had major bad breath.
“Okay, sure,” I responded. No idea. None whatsoever.
“Al, any signs of pursuit?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. He didn’t have a throat, but he needed to … oh yeah. He wanted me to include the other computer too. Yeah. Been a while.
“Al and Stingray, any signs of pursuit?”
Silence.
“Anybody home?” I sang out.
“I think you should maybe call he by her real name,” said Garustfulous gently into my ear. “Things have changed a little while you were gone. Hey, come to mention it, are we still kicking your asses on this worthless planet?”
He was oh so annoyingly cheerful. I nearly grabbed his thick neck.
“Al, Stingray, Blessing, Man in The Moon, Chef Boyardee. Any signs of pursuit?”
“We detect none, Pilot.”
“Thank you for answering my tactical question during a military crisis,” I huffed.
“So, are you well, Ryan? Are we winning. No, wait, of course we are. Say, have you lost weight?” listed off Garustfulous.
“I don’t care, I don’t care, and are you mentally unstable,” I replied in kind.
“Still the social charmer, aren’t you, Pilot?” sniped Al.
“Status report. Anyone. First one to answer gets a neat prize. Status report, please,” I whined.
“I think I am losing weight. The Als think I haven’t. He even claims to have measured me, but look at this, Ryan,” said Garustfulous as he patted his paunch. “I’m fur and bones.”
“Fascinating. Mostly at least. But I was asking for a status report on my ship, you imbecile.”
“Well there’s no need to be rude about it. Here I’ve been alone with the only the wacky Als to entertain me and—”
“No. Stop. Wait,” I said putting a hand on his chest. “You keep saying the Als. His name is Al, not Als. Haven’t you learned that in all these months? Some superrace you guys turned out to be. Not.”
“Of course, his name is Al. She’s Blessing. The Als.”
“There is no such animal as the Als,” I howled.
Al cleared his throat even louder.
“What!” I shot back. “I’m not back ten minutes and you all can’t stop reminding me you’re as demented as my crazy uncle Ray. He’s the one who thought he was a chicken. Sat on eggs all over his house. The place was a sticky mess. Why am I telling you all of this?” I slammed my fists against the sides of my head several times for good measure.
“Captain Ryan, let me be the first to introduce you to the happy young couple I have only recently joined in holy matrimony,” said Garustfulous like a snake oil sales representative.
“Okay, my fault. I left you here alone too long and you’ve gone over the edge,” I said. “My apologies and have a pleasant trip?”
“What trip?” he asked.
“The one you’re about to take when I throw you off the ship, quite likely in the direction of the black hole.” I pointed like I knew what direction it was in. “No Looney Tunes on my watch. Sorry.”
“Ah, but I’m the sanest sentient aboard, Ryan. I say the Als because that’s what they decided their last name would be. They’re married after all. Having the same surname is customary among many races.”
“The computers are married to what?” Do you speak sanity?”
“To each other, Captain. Would you like to be the first to kiss the bride? I’ve come to learn it’s a tradition in your culture,” replied Garustfulous.
I thought to myself:
A) Raise fist and ask Garustfulous to kiss this;
B) Raise fist and ask the Als to kiss this;
C) Shoot Garustfulous and the Als;
D) Shoot myself;
E) All of the above.
I went for F). Big mistake. “Al, what is this joker talking about? You cannot be married to my vortex’s vortex manipulator.”
“And why is that, you prejudiced luddite?”
“No, I’m not … Al, you’re an AI. She’s sort of an AI. AIs can’t get married because, in a very real sense, they don’t exist. They are ticks of code on computer boards. You know this, right?”
“You were right, love, he is a prejudiced luddite. I think he’s a machine-xenophobe too.” That, for the record, was Blessing speaking. I mean Stingray. Stingray Al. Mrs. Blessing Al. No, wait, it would be Mrs. Blessing-Al, like Farrah Fawcett-Majors. Yes, that was it.
I began to wonder if EJ was still back on Azsuram. Fighting with him was a lot more fun than being home.
To be continued…
GLOSSARY
Agatcha (3): Traditional Deft stew.
Al (1): The ship’s AI from Jon’s initial Ark 1 flight. He kept it with him until his dying day and then it elected to hang around. Good AI!
Ark 1 (3): The subluminal ship Jon took on his very first flight. He was searching for a new home for humankind.
Blessing (1): The Vortex Cragforel gifted to Jon.
Brathos (2): The Kaljaxian version of hell.
Brindas (1): High master of Deft tradition and psychic ability.
Brood-mate/brood’s-mate (2): Male and female members of a Kaljaxian marriage.
Calfada-Joric (3): The Deft master brindas on Rameeka Blue Green. Goes by Cala.
Canovir (2): Species of dog-like sentients containing the Adamant. Big border collies.
Caryp (2): Clan leader for Sapale’s family on Kaljax.
Cellardoor Pontared (3): Woman forced to pretend to be Jon’s wife on Ungalaym.
Command Prerogatives (1): The thin fibers Jon extends from his left four fingers. They are probes that also control a vortex.
Darfey (2): Male attendant to Slapgren on Excess of Nothing.
Dare Not (3): Malraff’s home base vessel.
Davdiad (2): Kaljaxian divine spirit.
Deavoriath (1): Race with three arms and legs, the most advanced tech in the galaxy, and helpful to Jon.
Deft (1): A shape-shifting species from the planet Locinar.
Dondra-Ulcrif (3): Brindas for long ago who gave Evil Jon his “magic” abilities.
Dovotan (3): Ox-equivalent used to pull carts on Ungalaym.
Evil Jon Ryan/ EJ (1): Alternate time line version of the original human to android download. Over time, he turned to the darker side of his nature. He studied “magic” under a Deft master.
Excess of Nothing (2): Emperor Bestiormax’s personal ship. Huge and opulent.
Fentort (2): Servant in Caryp’s home on Kaljax.
Fessilda (3): Innkeeper on Ungalaym where Jon stayed on his second visit.
Five Races (2): Adamant, the leaders; Loserandi, the priests; Kilip, the teachers; Descore, the servants; and Warrior, the enlisted fighters.
Fottot (3): Tow
n on Ungalaym Jon visited after first failed attempt to rescue Deft teens. Went looking for a plan to save the kids.
Fuffefer (3): Group-Single Fuffefer. Commander of the detail that supervised Jon’s and Cellardoor’s slavery period.
Gartel (1): Black market space pilot on Ungalaym. Jon stole his ship.
Garustfulous (2): Wedge Leader Garustfulous is a high-ranking Adamant military leader. Taken hostage by Jon.
Gorilla Boy/GB (2): Flippant name Jon gave to an AI. The ship Jon took to escape from Earth to Azsuram. From the planet Zactor on a mission to collect samples.
Harhoff (3): Adamant Group Captain officer aboard Rush to Glory. He became a key figure in Jon’s quest to rescue the Deft teens.
Hirn (1): A Kaljaxian dialect.
Hollon (3): The complete joining of two Deft. More than marriage.
Horta (1): A rock creature Mirraya became when confronting the evil force in the globular cluster. Now, where have I heard that name before?
Imperial Lord Emperor Bestiormax-Jacktus-Swillyforth-Anp (2): Current Adamant emperor.
Jockto Parenthes (3): Chamberlain of Emperor Bestiormax.
Josbelub Pontared (3): Name assumed by Jon to fit in on Ungalaym while trying to infiltrate the Adamant.
Juyrot (3): Junior officer aboard Rush to Glory. Kind of an ass. Picked a fight with Jon.
LGM (1): Little green men and women. The Adamant replaced native sentient species with LGM after taking over a planet. The LGM are docile and compliant.
Loserandi (2): The priests class of canovir.
Locinar (1): Home planet of the Deft.
Membrane (1): Space-time congruity manipulator. A super force field.
Midriack (1): Adamant’s personal guards. Very deadly, no sense of humor. Avoid them!
Musto (3): Strong Adamant booze.
Opalf (2): Honorific title in Kaljaxian society, reserved for the elderly.
Pastersal (3): Physician Level Six working with Malraff to understand the Deft’s powers.
Rameeka Blue Green (3): The planet where Jon and the Deft teens met Cala.
Risrav (3): The anti-rune of Varsir. The power of Varsir is negated in the sphere of this rune.
Rostalop (1): Mirraya’s favorite food. Comparable to a cow.
Rush to Glory (3): Ship Jon left Ungalaym on.
Saldish (3): The formal Adamant name for the LGM race.
Sapale (1): Jon’s Kaljaxian wife from his original flight to find humankind a new home. At first just her brain was copied, then eventually, she was downloaded to an android host. Travelled with the corrupted Jon Ryan from an alternate timeline.
Secure Council (3): Twelve-member group of military elite who actually run the Adamant empire.
Sentorip (2): Female servant to Mirraya on Excess of Nothing.
Stingray (1): Name Jon used for the vortex Blessing.
Three Headed Beast (3): Devil figure to the Deft.
Toño DeJesus (1): The creator of the android Jon. Became his lifelong friend.
Torchcleft (2): A species of smallish dragon. Copied by the Deft teens to hunt.
Triumph of Might (1): The massive spaceship Mercutcio ruled. Jon first met the Adamant there.
Ungalaym (1): Planet under Adamant control where Jon stole a ship.
Varsir (3): The name of the magical rune Evil Jon uses to do his “magic.”
Var-tey (3): Highest of warrior rankings. The bravest among the Deft. Demi-gods.
Vortex Manipulator (1): The intelligence inside the vortex. Not actually an AI, but similar.
Whoop Ass (2): The name Jon gave to the alien ship he commandeered to leave destroyed Earth after EJ marooned him there.
Yartop (3): Wedge Commander and captain of the Rush to Glory, the ship Jon pretended to be a butler on.
Zar-not (1): A melding of a Deft’s mind with that of a copied animal.
Zatils (3): Former ruling blood line of the Adamant.
And Now A Word From Your Author
Who Doesn't Love That?
Thank you for continuing your journey through the Ryanverse! Along with this series, please check out The Forever Series, beginning with The Forever Life, Book 1. Learn Jon's backstory and share his many incredible adventures.
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Craig
Table of Contents
ALSO BY CRAIG A. ROBERTSON
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
TWENTY-EIGHT
TWENTY-NINE
THIRTY
THIRTY-ONE
THIRTY-TWO
THIRTY-THREE
THIRTY-FOUR
THIRTY-FIVE
THIRTY-SIX
THIRTY-SEVEN
THIRTY-EIGHT
THIRTY-NINE
GLOSSARY
And Now A Word From Your Author
Firestorm: Galaxy On Fire, Book 3 Page 20
