Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 07 - Mad as the Dickens

by Toni L. P. Kelner

  “I’m fine,” Jake insisted. “I had a little accident, that’s all. Just let me get back to work.”

  “Jake, be reasonable,” David said. “Go back to the house and lay down.”

  “I’m not going to sit out there all day!” Jake snapped.

  David looked at his brother for a long time, then nodded. “All right, if you think you can handle it—”

  Jake laughed, but it was a bitter sound, not a happy one. “This isn’t the part I’m having problems handling.” He walked past David and went backstage.

  Richard, Junior, and I went over to David. “Is he really fit to work?” Richard asked.

  “You heard what he said,” David said helplessly. “It probably is better for him than sitting around the house by himself. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

  “Okay, but let me know if you need me to order him out of here.” Then, to me Richard said, “Are you going to be sticking around here today?”

  “As far as I know. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

  “Good.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and headed for the stage.

  “What happened?” I asked David. “Was it really an accident?”

  “Of course it was an accident! What else would it have been?” He glared at me briefly before stalking off.

  “Sounds as if you hit a nerve,” Junior said.

  “Apparently so. Look, I don’t know about you, but I need to sit down.”

  “Lead the way.”

  Finding a quiet corner was getting harder to do the closer we got to opening night, but we finally settled in the back of the auditorium.

  “What I want to know,” I said, “is whether or not it was really an accident.”

  “That’s what Jake says. In fact, I was talking to a friend of mine at the hospital, and she says that when he was being treated, Jake put the blame on your aunts.”

  “What?”

  “He thinks one of them accidentally turned on the eye when y’all were out there cleaning.”

  “They did no such thing!” I said heatedly. “Besides which, if they had, it would have stunk up the house. If we hadn’t smelled it when we left, Jake would have noticed as soon as he came in the door.”

  “He claims all he could smell was Pine-Sol.”

  “They did use a lot of it, but—”

  “You don’t have to convince me. I don’t have any idea that that’s what happened.”

  “Well, I don’t see how Jake could have done it himself. If the kind of mess left around is any indication, he hasn’t cooked anything in a while. All I saw were takeout bags and the trays from some microwave meals. Nothing that would require him firing up the stove.”

  “He was drunk,” Junior pointed out.

  “I’m not surprised. I can’t tell you how many empties we carted out of there.” I thought about it. “Do you think Jake tried to kill himself?”

  “David says he didn’t find a suicide note.”

  “Do all suicides leave notes?” I asked.

  “Nope, plenty of them don’t. Some don’t want people knowing it was suicide, so they try to make it look like an accident.”

  “Goodness knows Jake has had more excuses than most to want to give up. His son dying, and now his father being murdered.” I paused. “Maybe guilt, too.”

  “You mean over killing his father?” Junior said. “I thought about that, but I’ve never known a killer to commit suicide because of remorse. At least, not one who’s gotten away with it. Once they get caught, sometimes they’ll take the easy way out, but not before. I’m not saying it never happens, but if I ever ran across a case that looked like it, I’d be mighty suspicious.

  “So it could have been an accident, but it doesn’t seem likely, or it could have been attempted suicide, but we don’t have any proof of that, or …”

  She finished for me. “Or somebody tried to kill Jake. Probably the person who killed his father.”

  “Jesus, Junior, Jake could have been murdered while we run around playing cops and robbers.”

  “I am a cop! How do you think I feel?”

  “Sorry. This just throws me for a loop.”

  “Do you want to bow out? I’d understand if you did.”

  “You know me better than that!” I said. “If that so-and-so thinks he can get away with killing more people, he’s got another think coming!”

  “That’s what I wanted to hear,” Junior said.

  “Let me put this together. If it really was an accident, then it doesn’t mean anything to our investigation.”

  “Right. If it was attempted suicide, it might mean that Jake is off our list because murderers almost never kill themselves. So if he did try, then he wasn’t the killer.”

  “This is starting to sound like one of those logic puzzles,” I said. “If somebody tried to kill him, it should also get him off our list. Unless there are two killers running around.”

  “Possible,” Junior admitted, “but I’d rather assume that Seth’s killer went after Jake. So why did somebody want Jake dead?”

  “Maybe Jake knows who killed Seth,” I suggested. Then I had to add, “But if he did, why wouldn’t he have come forward?”

  “What if he’s protecting the killer?”

  “Then it would have to be David, because I can’t imagine who else Jake would protect, when it’s his own father who was killed. Since David is the one who saved him from the gas last night, he can’t be the one who tried to kill him.”

  “Right. What other motive have we got?” Junior said.

  “What if Seth was killed to shut down the still, and once the killer realized that Jake was going to keep it going, he went after him, too?”

  “Why? We ruled out the idea of anybody in organized crime caring about the still, and all that leaves is David trying to keep Florence from finding out about it. But she already knows, and he knows that.”

  I thought for a minute. “Let’s go back to the two-killer theory. What if Jake killed Seth, and somebody found out and tried to kill him for revenge?”

  “That gets us back to David,” Junior said. “Those two are the only kin Seth had.”

  “Could David have intended to kill Jake and then changed his mind? After all, David is the most reasonable choice for being able to get in the house and set it up. How do we know he really just wanted to bring Jake something to eat? Did anybody actually see any food?”

  “That’s a point.”

  “Come to think of it, could Jake have faked the attempt to draw attention away from himself?”

  “Nice idea, but my friend at the hospital saw how sick Jake was last night—he wasn’t faking that. Not to mention the fact that he was lucky that the gas didn’t ignite. More people die from gas fires than gas poisoning. All it would have taken was one little spark and the place would have gone up. Jake’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don’t think he’s that dumb.”

  “You’re probably right,” I had to agree. “Maybe the killer is going after all the Murdstones. Seth was just the first, and Jake was supposed to be next. Heck, even Florence slipping in the bathroom could have been part of his plan—she’s a Murdstone by marriage.”

  “Except that anybody could have slipped in the soap. Any female, at least.”

  “Then ignore the soap spill. Somebody could still be trying to take out the Murdstones.”

  “Why?”

  “Maybe Seth really does have moonshining money hidden away, and some relative is planning to step forward and inherit once all the Murdstones are gone.”

  “Who?” Junior said skeptically. “I told you, they didn’t have any other family. Unless you think Seth had a secret twin living out in the woods somewhere.”

  “Don’t make fun unless you have a better idea.”

  “Sorry. It’s just that I’m used to dealing with likely solutions. That one was getting pretty far out there.”

  “If there were a likely solution, don’t you think we’d have been able to figure it out by now?�
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  “All right, keep speculating,” Junior said.

  “Thank you. You know, there might be a reason somebody would want all the Murdstones dead. Aunt Nora said Big Bill wanted to buy their house but Seth wouldn’t sell.”

  “Laurie Anne, please don’t make me interrogate Big Bill Walters.”

  “I’m not saying it was Big Bill. I’m just wondering why he wanted it. Is there going to be a factory built there or something that would make the land worth a lot?”

  “Sorry to burst your bubble. Big Bill wants the land because it’s next to a piece he already owns, but he doesn’t have any specific plans for it that I’ve heard of.”

  “Then I guess that leaves us with … Shoot, Junior, what does that leave us with?”

  “Heck if I know,” she said in disgust. “Other than the fact that somebody killed Seth and maybe that same somebody tried to kill Jake, and damned if he hasn’t gotten away with it.”

  “Not yet he hasn’t,” I said firmly. “We are going to catch this killer if it takes us until next Christmas!”

  Chapter 33

  I’d thought regular rehearsals were boring, but that was before I watched a technical rehearsal. As Richard explained it, we had to go through every lighting cue and special effect and make sure they were perfect. Unfortunately, we didn’t actually have anybody in charge of lighting and effects, thanks to Sally Hendon making off with all the experienced people. Instead, everybody pitched in between other jobs and their lines on stage, meaning that it was darned confusing and provided endless opportunities for mistakes. Every time somebody messed up, Richard would make them go through things over and over again until they got it right.

  As Junior whispered to me, the worst part of it was that Richard was keeping his temper through all of it, so we didn’t even have a good tantrum to break the monotony.

  Junior and I would gladly have gone somewhere—anywhere—to try to make sense of Seth’s death and the attack on Jake, but neither of us could come up with anyplace useful to go. Junior indulged me by listening to my most whimsical flights of fancy, but even that didn’t lead to anything that we could actually do. So we sat and brooded.

  Richard didn’t want to interrupt the tech rehearsal, which meant he wouldn’t even let us break for lunch until it was done. By the time he was satisfied, we had an auditorium filled with cranky, hungry people. Including me.

  Fortunately, Richard ordered in pizzas for lunch and announced that we’d have an extra long lunch break so that everybody could rest. Otherwise we might have had another murder.

  Since Richard was too agitated to eat and I didn’t want to sit with Junior and her ravening horde of nieces and nephews, I ended up at a table with the three Spirits of Christmas.

  “Are you three about ready for tomorrow night?” I asked them over a bite of pepperoni pizza.

  Sid and Pete only nodded, but Oliver said, “I can’t wait! Of course, having two roles is particularly challenging, but I assure you that I’m up to it.”

  I caught the other two men rolling their eyes, and hid a grin.

  Just to make conversation, I said, “I hope all these rehearsals haven’t kept you too long from your work, not to mention getting ready for Christmas. Richard’s so used to college vacations that he forgets everybody isn’t so lucky.”

  “I don’t mind,” Sid said. “I like to take time off at the holidays, anyway. I’ve got a college boy who’s tickled to death to earn some extra money for Christmas shopping, and he’s taking good care of the station.”

  “My uncle has been handling everything for me,” Pete said. “I only stepped in to assist with Mr. Murdstone’s arrangements as a favor to the family, and they really took very little of my time.”

  “Then they sure don’t take after Seth,” Oliver said with a little laugh. “He made a habit of taking up people’s time.”

  “Oh?” I said.

  “Laurie Anne, do you remember how I told you I’d shown Seth some land a while back, but that he’d decided not to buy it?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, when I was at the realty board’s Christmas party last night, I found out I was only the last in a long string of realtors that he’d gone to. He’s been looking at land for years. We couldn’t even count all the parcels he’s looked at, let alone the amount of time the realtors around here have wasted sending him listings and taking him out to see plots.”

  “I know a woman like that,” I said. “She goes to every open house she sees, even though she’s not in the market for a new house. She says it’s for decorating ideas, but I think she just likes snooping around houses.”

  “I’ve seen that, too,” Oliver said, “and those people are easy to pick out, but Seth only looked at undeveloped property.”

  “Why would he do that?” Sid asked. “Was he planning to build a new house?”

  Oliver said, “Beats me. I’m just glad I found out before he wasted too much of my time.” Then he looked abashed and added, “May he rest in peace.”

  The conversation wandered elsewhere after that, but I wasn’t really paying attention. I was mulling over an idea, and as soon as I could do so politely, I excused myself and headed for Junior. Fortunately, the kids were fast eaters and had already run off to play with their Gameboys, so I could explain what Oliver had told me without interruption.

  When I was done, she said, “You think looking at real estate had something to do with Seth’s murder? Maybe the realtors got together and decided to do away with him to keep him from bothering them?”

  “No,” I said, exasperated. “What I think is that now we know where Seth’s still is.”

  “You lost me.”

  “You said that Seth never put a still on his own land, and that he kept moving it places where neither you or your father could find it. So how did he find places that were safe? I bet he kept going to realtors so he could find out which places were empty. Once the land sold, or if he decided things were getting hot, he’d go to another realtor and find out another piece of land to use. Rent free, I might add.”

  “Slick,” Junior said admiringly.

  “Seth or me?”

  “Both.”

  “Thank you,” I said, but I had to add, “Of course, it’s too late to catch Seth now.”

  “But not Jake. When did you say Oliver showed Seth that piece of land?”

  “Late in the summer. Why?”

  “I bet that’s the last time Seth relocated. It’s a pain to move a still, because you have to set up another place and get everything moved without being seen in either spot, so I don’t see how Jake could have had time to move it since Seth died. Richard’s been keeping everybody at rehearsal every waking moment.”

  “Then all we have to do is find out from Oliver where the land is.”

  “There’s no time like the present. Where is the Spirit of Christmas Present anyway?”

  “Why the hurry? Do you think there’s some evidence about Seth’s murder out there?”

  “Who cares? Laurie Anne, I have been hunting for Seth Murdstone’s still ever since I became chief of police. Do you really think I’m going to pass up a chance to finally find it?”

  “Not to mention how badly you want to beat Mark to the punch.”

  “That, too. And maybe there will be something related to the murder out there.”

  “Then let’s go get Oliver.”

  We found him reading his script, mumbling his lines out loud.

  “Oliver,” I said, “can we talk to you for a minute?”

  “Certainly. What can I do for you two ladies?”

  Junior said, “We want to talk to you about the land you showed to Seth Murdstone.”

  “Why is that?”

  I left the explanation to Junior. Since we weren’t planning to mention Seth’s moonshine operation, I wanted to see just how she was going to finesse the information out of Oliver. I should have realized that Junior doesn’t need finesse.

  “It’s police business, Oliver,”
she said bluntly. “I need to know the location of the plot you showed to Seth, and I don’t have time to mess around.”

  He blinked but didn’t argue. “I’ve got the listing in my car.”

  “Then fetch it in here.”

  Darned if he didn’t rush to do as he was told.

  While he was gone, I said, “Do you think you can teach me how to do that? It sure would come in handy with the baby.”

  “Sorry, Laurie Anne, I think you have to be born with it.”

  By then, Oliver was back, leather portfolio in hand. He unzipped the case, licked one finger, and started turning pages. “It’s been several months, so I’m not sure what it could have to do with the murder investigation.”

  “Who said it had anything to do with a murder investigation?” Junior said.

  “I thought—or rather, I assumed—”

  “Just show it to us.”

  He pulled out a page. “Here we go. A three-acre site on the north side of town.”

  “Three acres,” I said, thinking about how long it would take to search that big an area.

  “It’s a lovely piece,” Oliver said, “though a bit isolated. The nearest paved road is a ways off, though there is a well-cleared dirt track.”

  “Where’s the track?” Junior demanded.

  He pointed to a plot plan. “Here, in red.”

  That would help. Surely Seth and Jake wouldn’t have wanted to lug their equipment and product too far over ground. Unfortunately the track went right through the middle of the plot, and the still could have been anywhere along it. We’d be able to find it eventually, but not without an extended search.

  “What’s this here?” I said, pointing to a blue blotch on the plan. “Water?”

  “There’s a small pond,” Oliver said. “Seth was particularly interested in that because the plot isn’t on the water system.”

  “Mud!” I nearly shouted. “Junior, there were muddy tracks on Jake’s floor, and it hasn’t rained the entire time I’ve been here. His clothes were muddy, too.”

  “And the pond isn’t far from the track,” she said.

  We looked at each other and smiled. Maybe it wasn’t an engraved invitation to the still, but it was close enough.