Sinned: A Priest Romance

by Daye, Veronica

  His foot pushed the gas pedal further down and we sped down the road, kicking dust up behind us. A drop fell onto the windshield and I bit my lip, nervously. Outside I heard something familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I looked around the truck, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from until I saw a grey storm cloud ahead of us.

  “Slow down,” I said. “We’re heading right into it. That sound is the rain just ahead.”

  We drove into a curtain of water and Charles slowed down. He turned on the lights and leaned forward as he shook his head.

  “What happens now?” he asked.

  “We have to find a safe place to pull over.”

  “There aren’t any safe places, no one will be able to see the car. Plus the rain is coming in through the roof.”

  We continued driving slowly, but the rain got heavier, lessening our visibility even more. The fabric roof was buckling under the weight of the water and our clothes were dampening from the leaks.

  “I think I see some buildings up ahead,” I said. “We might be in Lejos. It’s a small town, but there should be a place for us to stay.”

  He nodded, keeping his focus on the road ahead of him. I pointed to an old ‘rooms for rent’ sign lit by a single light. He parked the Jeep and turned to me.

  “Stay here,” he said. “You’ll be dryer waiting in here than coming in with me.”

  “I can go in and you can wait.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me then jumped out of the car into the downpour. The truck shook as he slammed the door closed and raced into the building. Minutes later the door flew open and he sat soak and wet in the driver’s seat. His shirt clung to him like a second skin.

  “Did you know it’s raining out?” He swept his hair back and wiped at his face.

  “I think I might have heard something about that.”

  “The guy in there only spoke Spanish and I’m rusty. From what I could understand he only had one cottage left.”

  He handed me the room key then drove a little further to a cluster of small buildings. I spotted the number and pointed where we needed to go.

  “Make a run for it at three,” he said. “One, two, three!”

  We jumped out of the car and slammed the doors shut before running through the muddy puddles towards the tiny white plastered building. I tried unlocking the door, but the key wouldn’t fit. Charles took it from me, wiggled it into the lock, and opened the door.

  The room was dark. I reached for a light switch, but it didn’t work. Charles pulled an oil lamp and a box of matches off the dresser.

  “One thing I did understand him say was that there’s no electricity. The storm took it out,” he said as he lit the lamp.

  In the soft glow of the lamp, the room looked even smaller than I expected. There was one small bed in the middle and an old tube TV in the corner. In the back of the room was an open closet with a stack of towels and two robes hanging.

  “We need to get out of these wet clothes or we’ll get sick,” I said.

  “You just want to see me naked,” he said with a smirk.

  I stared at him, surprised by his joke. “Are you flirting with me, Father Charles?” I asked, repeating his question from earlier.

  “I was joking. A priest can joke, you know.”

  “Tell me what else a priest can and can’t do.”

  “Let’s get out of these wet clothes and I’ll answer you whatever you want to know.”

  He handed me one of the robes and a towel, then took a robe and towel for himself. He went to the other side of the small room and turned his back to me. I wanted to watch him undress. I couldn’t deny that I had a physical attraction to him. But I turned my back towards him and quickly undressed, toweling off as I went, then quickly tied the robe around me.

  When I turned around he was in his robe, staring at me. If it was any other man I would have thought there was lust in his eyes, but I convinced myself I was seeing something that wasn’t there.

  The only place to sit was on the bed so we sat next to each other, with our backs against the wall, and the robes as closed as we could make them.

  “Okay, so you said you hate the nicknames for Charles. What does your mother call you?”

  “She still calls me Charlie. But she’s the only one.”

  “You realize I’m going to call you Charlie from now on, right?”

  He laughed. “I guess so. So what about you? You didn’t really answer me earlier. How are you a doctor? You look too young.”

  “So do you, for a priest.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Don’t change the subject. You know I have my Masters in Divinity and I’ve been a priest for a year now.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-eight,” he said as he cocked a brow at me.

  “I’m twenty-five. I was homeschooled so I finished high school early and immediately started college. I majored in emergency medicine, but because of my age I had a hard time with jobs. None of the interns respected me since so many of them were my age or older.”

  “So what do you do?”

  “The hospital I was working for offered me a paid sabbatical if I joined Doctors Without Borders. I love traveling so being able to help others while I got to see places a lot of people don’t see sounded perfect to me. I mean it’s not all peaceful and wonderful, but I enjoy it. Why exactly are you here?”

  “The diocese finally got approval to restore parts of the old church at home. I had the choice to stay at St. Peter’s until it was done or come here and start the church.”

  We spent hours sitting there talking about whatever came to mind. Whenever we talked it always surprised me how much we had in common, but the later it got, the more tired I became. I turned away from him, trying to hide my yawn.

  “Am I boring you?” he asked.

  “No,” I said with a laugh. “I didn’t sleep well last night and I think it’s catching up to me.”

  “We can sleep. Maybe the roads will be clear in the morning.”

  I nodded and slid into the blanket. Charlie propped his head up, but kept himself out of the sheets.

  “I don’t think it’s a sin to share a blanket,” I said.

  “You’re right, laying in bed with a woman isn’t a sin.”

  “What is a sin? Is it true you can’t have sex?”

  “Why is that the one thing that always comes up?”

  “Because people like it when it comes up,” I said and wiggled my brow.

  “You’d get along with my brother,” he said wryly.

  “You said you’d answer anything. Did you really take a vow of celibacy?”

  “Yes, I did. Well, technically it’s a promise. I made a promise of celibacy and obedience when I was ordained.”

  “And you were okay with that?”

  “Of course I was. It’s not like I didn’t know what I would be missing, but my calling to join the Church was greater than that. It made celibacy a non issue.”

  He got up and turned off the lamp then wrapped his robe around him tightly and got into bed, under the blanket.

  “Do you ever think about it?” I whispered.

  “About sex? No, not usually. I have some parishioners who like to remind me of it though.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t give you specifics, but you might be surprised how many women flirt with priests.”

  His words made me feel guilty about how I was acting earlier and the thoughts I couldn’t shake from my head.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “So you were flirting. I thought you were just joking around.”

  I shrugged and rolled over to face him. “I couldn’t help it. It’s just this instinct in me that when I see a hot guy, I start flirting.”

  He rolled his eyes and moved onto his back. “Tell me, is it my looks or the fact that I’m unattainable and forbidden?”

  “Wow, you somehow just got hotter,” I said.

  He laughed.
“You know what I mean.”

  “For me it has nothing with you being a priest. You can’t tell me you don’t know how good looking you are. But that’s just physical. Honestly after spending all this time with you, there’s just so much more than that.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  My eyelids were heavy. I could barely keep them open anymore. I didn’t want to just fall asleep like that when he asked me a question, but I didn’t think I had enough energy to answer him.

  I can’t tell him that he’s the kind of guy I could easily fall in love with, I thought.

  ~ Six ~

  Charles

  “I can’t tell him that he’s the kind of guy I could easily fall in love with,” she whispered.

  I blinked in surprised. She didn’t mean to say that aloud, but I was glad to hear it.

  No! I wasn’t glad. I shouldn’t be glad, I thought. But I couldn’t deny how my heart beat after hearing her words. Ava wasn’t just beautiful, she was funny and smart too. It was a combination that was stealing my heart.

  I lay beside her, not touching her, listening to the steady breathing of sleep. There was no way I could fall asleep now.

  While she spent the day joking and flirting, I spent the day struggling. I couldn’t explain why I found her so tempting, I only knew that when I looked at her I wanted more.

  I tried to keep my distance and control my thoughts, but it seemed we were meant to be thrown together. Was she meant to be my temptation? Was God testing my faith?

  Next to me, Ava shivered. In her sleep, she pulled the covers further up. The room had cooled off considerably since we arrived and there wasn’t any heat. Worried she might be getting sick, I knew I needed to do something to warm her.

  I slid closer to her, resting my head on her pillow. I didn’t want to wake her, but I needed to get close enough to her to transfer my body heat. She continued to shake, her teeth chattering.

  As I moved my body to spoon hers, she rolled over to face me. Her head slipped onto my arm and she pressed her breasts against my chest as she looked for warmth. Even with the robes between us, I could tell how soft her body was crushed against me.

  Still asleep, she wrapped her arms around me and sighed as her shivering stopped. I pulled the blankets around us and held her. As my cheek rested against her silky hair, I pushed the impure thoughts from my mind.

  My lustful thoughts were sins. I would have to confess them once we were back at Amaru and I could call Father Liam. A priest shouldn’t be thinking about the carnal pleasures of a woman. And I was.

  ***

  She was still in my arms when she woke. Our clothes were still damp, but I needed to get back. Being so close to her was too much for me. I wanted to see all of her, touch her, taste her. She made me wish I was a man and not a priest.

  I had to stop that.

  Ava didn’t protest our sudden departure. Nor did she say much during the drive back to Amaru. I focused my eyes on the road, not wanting to see how her clothes clung to the curve of her breasts or how the sunlight made her eyes sparkle.

  Once we were back, I parked by our building so that she wouldn’t have to walk through the town in her damp clothing. I didn't want to share the sight of my disheveled angel with anyone.

  As we reached her door, she turned and stopped me with her hand on my chest. Without thinking, I covered her hand with mine and pressed it to my heart.

  “Thank you for last night,” she said.

  I was lost in her eyes for a moment as she stood on her tip toes. I wanted to kiss her. I needed to feel her soft lips and the warmth of her mouth. As I leaned closer to her she kissed my cheek then disappeared into her room.

  I wrestled with myself as I stared at her door. Every part of me knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her. But even if my body was satisfied, I would still want more. It wasn’t just her body I desired, it was her. All of her.

  As I locked the door to my room, I knew it wasn’t to keep anyone out, but to keep me in. I needed guidance and direction. I needed to confess.

  I pulled out my cell phone and discovered a weak signal. I wasn’t sure if it would be enough to make a phone call, but there was only one way to find out. I tapped the number for my mentor, Father Liam Walsh.

  “Charles, is that you?” he answered.

  “Yes, do you have a few minutes?”

  “Of course. Is something wrong?”

  “I need to confess.”

  “You’ve been gone less than a week and you need to confess? What could you have possibly done?”

  “Liam, I’m serious.”

  “I am too, Charles. I know you. I’m sure you’re overreacting.”

  “There’s a woman and whenever I see her, I can’t help but think about...” I stopped, not wanting to talk about the things I felt for Ava in that way. “It’s not just physical. If it was just that, I could handle it. I’m a priest, I’m bigger than the allure of sex. But there’s something about her. Had I met her before I took my vows, I’m not sure I would be a priest today.

  “You didn’t take vows. You are not married. You made promises to God for obedience and celibacy. He knows we are human and He knows we make mistakes.”

  “And that is why I need to confess now.”

  The phone was silent and I imagined Liam brushing his hair back like he did whenever he was frustrated. Liam and I met in college and became fast friends. He was entering seminary school while I was considering the priesthood. He was not only my mentor, but one of my closest friends.

  “Do you love her?” Liam asked.

  “I don’t know. In some ways I feel like I just met her, in others I feel like I’ve known her my entire life.”

  “I know that feeling,” he said softly. “Do you want me to talk to the Bishop about a transfer?”

  “No,” I said before I had time to think. “You’re right, I’m making a big deal over nothing. I am not just a man, I’m a priest. I can control myself.”

  ~ Seven ~

  Charles

  Nothing I did could get Ava out of my mind. Dressed in black slacks and a black button-down shirt, what I considered my on duty clothes when I wasn’t in vestments, I decided to go to the church and see what else I could do there. With so few people nearby, I was only having service to a handful of people each week. It left me with a lot of time on my hands, time I was spending with Ava instead of other priestly duties.

  Ava didn’t know it, but she was turning my life upside down. I wanted nothing more than to see her, talk to her, but each time I did, I found myself wanting more. I took vows of celibacy and obedience when I became a priest, but every time I saw her, I only thought of breaking them. It was better that I kept myself away from temptation.

  The church still smelled of the incense I lit at the last mass a couple of days ago. I needed something that would keep me away from her. Being around her so much was confusing me and making me think things I shouldn’t be. I needed to keep myself busier so I went to the closet and pulled out a dusting cloth.

  As I slowly dusted the wooden pews, I heard the church doors open. It was a clinic day so I knew it wasn’t Ava, but I couldn’t deny that I hoped it was her.

  Something crashed in the entryway so I went to check on it. A skinny man with greasy hair stumbled as he stood. On the ground was a tall candlestick. The man started to mutter and swat at the air.

  “Can I help you?” I asked.

  “I’m looking for the clinic,” he mumbled. “They got a doc, right? He can prescribe pills.”

  “Yes, the clinic does have a doctor, but if you’re just looking for pills I don’t think she can help you.”

  He clawed at his neck and groaned. “She’s gotta help me.”

  “Come with me. I’ll take you there.”

  There was no way I was letting this junkie see Ava in the state he was in without my being nearby. I opened the church door and he shuffled out into the sunlight and shielded his eyes.

  The clinic was busy.
The waiting area chairs were full and there were people standing around. Ava was the only doctor on staff so Ramon and a couple of the others helped triage the patients.

  As Ava stepped out from behind a curtained exam area, the man I brought in pushed aside an elderly woman as he made his way to Ava. I was right behind him.

  “You gotta give it to me,” he demanded. “Oxy, Tremadol, whatever you got.”

  Ava took a step back as he approached her, but I could tell this wasn’t her first time experiencing something like this. She looked calm, but cautious. She slowly positioned herself so that a cot was between herself and the man. As I watched, I loosened the top button of my shirt. I was ready to jump in and protect her if I needed to.

  “You can wait your turn like everyone else,” she said as she pointed towards the chairs. “When it’s your turn I’ll evaluate you and then decide if you're going to get medication or not.”

  “If?” he shrieked.

  He stormed closer and shoved the cot towards Ava. It pushed her into a shelving unit. As he reached for her I came in from behind, grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him around to face me. His face contorted angrily, his eyes were bloodshot and crazed. There was only one way to deal with him.

  I closed my hand into a fist and punched him square in the jaw. His eyes rolled back immediately. As he teetered on his feet, I walked over to Ava and wrapped my arms around her. He fell to the side, crashing into a chair as he collapsed to the ground.

  “Oh my God,” Ava said as she looked towards him. “I need to make sure he’s okay.”

  “He’s fine,” I said, keeping my arms around her. “He’ll wake up any second now.”

  As Ramon knelt beside him the man woke and his eyes blinked rapidly. He moaned and rubbed his jaw as he looked around the room.

  “He’s fine,” Ramon said before turning towards the crowd and waving his arms. “The clinic is closed for the rest of the day. Please come back tomorrow.” He patted me on the back and whispered, “I’ve seen this before. You a boxer, Father? You hit him right on the button.”