Shades of Trust

by Cristiane Serruya

  “I will,” he agreed.

  Dr. Volk looked at his watch, then rose and accompanied Alistair to the door, reinforcing, “We’ll continue this discussion on Thursday. Please, don’t get in touch with Emma. If anything happens, call me.”

  Alistair nodded and sighed. “I hope nothing else happens. See you on Thursday.”

  Dr. Volk closed the door and sat at his desk taking notes. Alistair was slowly improving but the doctor was worried. What had happened that morning was not a usual relapse; with that woman back in his life, things could get out of control.

  The City of London Headquarters

  In the Main Meeting Room

  8:46 p.m.

  “Nae, you are no’ getting my point.” Alistair’s Scottish accent made it clear to all vice-presidents in the room that he was not pleased by the news about the buying of the Brazilian bank chain. “My belief is that to achieve success in any scheme one has to make oneself master of that scheme, know it inside and out, every detail. I worked hard, very hard to achieve my position here. I always make my decisions based on logic and facts. I always read contracts and check all pertinent legislations, national and international. Especially when dealing with governments. I require that I be informed of everything that is happening. Everything.”

  “Mr. MacCraig, if we are to receive the bank as we bought it, we’ll have to abide by their rules. That’s how things are done in Brazil,” the head of the legal department informed.

  “Rules? You mean bribes.” Alistair rose and put his palms on the table, leaning forward, looking each and every one in the eye. “No one informed me that they could block the deed after it was signed. No one informed me that it had to be approved again by a group of corrupt politicians—”

  “Alistair Connor, please listen for a minute,” Arthur Berkley, now a minor partner of bank, interrupted him calmly.

  In deference to the twenty years that separated them, and because he was one of the founders, Alistair sat and leaned back, thinning his lips and getting his temper under control.

  “We didn’t know. We paid what was previously agreed with the intervener. The approval wasn’t needed. It appeared in an old internal legislation out of nowhere. These corrupt countries have their twisted ways.”

  As if I didn’t know. Alistair drummed his fingers on the table, pondering for a moment. “Aye. That’s why the intervener was all smiles when I shook Senhor Magalhães’s hand and said it was a pleasure doing business with him. It will be my head on the block if this leaks to the press. Why did nobody take a second to stop by my ever open door and whisper, ‘Hey, Mr. MacCraig, in spite of paying the usual bribes, we are being blackmailed to pay a few million pounds more to a few top Brazilian politicians, or they’ll block the deal.’ Why?”

  “We didn’t think it necessary to worry you. We were trying to work it out and you seemed to be having enough problems with Soph—”

  “Do not involve my wife in this, Malcolm.” Alistair cut off the other bank partner. “And, for your information, my personal life is no’, and it will never be, up for discussion. You should have known all legislation, new or old, internal or no’, and I should have been informed. I wasn’t.”

  The silence weighed until the atmosphere in the room was unbreathable.

  The head of the legal department said, “Mr. MacCraig, I apologize profusely.”

  Alistair Connor, you’re being too ethical. “Apology accepted.” He looked at his watch, tired. I wish I could go home. “We are known for our aggressiveness in the market; it is risky, but good. We know that sometimes a little bump in the road is inevitable, but to lose this deal would be unacceptable. To pay such a huge amount in bribes is dangerous as it can be easily traced as everyone in this room is more than aware. Can you imagine the headlines if this is discovered? ‘CLB pays hefty bribes to Brazilian politicians. CEO says he knew nothing about it.’ Is this what I’ve been working for all my life?”

  “We need you to deal with them to set a reasonable price,” said Arthur Berkley.

  Reasonable price for corrupt politicians? Ha! “Don’t worry, Berkley.” He rose, towering over the table. “I will deal with them. In my own way. I’ll make this legislation disappear as magically as it has appeared. Let me remind you, gentlemen: I’m the CEO of this bank; I’m the majority shareholder. I am to be informed of such important things in advance. If anything like this happens again, I will hold you all responsible, and you won’t like the consequences. I bid you good evening.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and strode out of the room.

  No one dared open their mouths or criticize. They knew Alistair’s power and that his was not a vain threat.

  The Dorchester, The Harlequin Suite

  9:09 p.m.

  “Hi, Ethan,” Barbara said sensuously, stepping into the living room of the suite, dressed in a long Donna Karan transparent silk black dress. A daring large gold chain dangled between her breasts with a polished horn pendant.

  Jesus! Ethan almost choked on the water he was drinking.

  She was not wearing her contact lenses and had cut and dyed her hair to a lighter brown with streaks of dark-blond in it.

  The effect was stunning. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Good evening, darling. Are we going anywhere?”

  She blinked at his question. “No. Why?”

  “You look ravishing, Barbara.” You have never looked more like yourself than tonight. He was intrigued. He wanted to see what she had in mind.

  “Thank you.” A happy look flashed on her face and she sat by his side on the sofa. Barefoot, in a navy sweater and slacks, he was edible. “You don’t look bad yourself.”

  He laughed. “Thanks.”

  Barbara crossed her legs and the dress slit opened to reveal she was wearing sparkling golden high-heeled sandals with straps that crisscrossed her calves up to her knees and her toenails were painted a light shade of gold. As were the long nails that trailed up and down Ethan’s thigh.

  Seductress. He fingered the chain and the horn she was wearing, skimming the tops of her breasts. He was not displeased with the changes she had been implementing.

  The blue of her eyes was lighter than his, but they were bright and lively. Her new hair color was fashionable and enhanced her skin.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked.

  Very, but not for food. “Yes, but not much.”

  “I ordered a light, cold dinner that is already served. Oysters and a lobster salad. We have been eating quite a lot recently.”

  Ethan’s eyebrows rose. “Are you saying I’m getting fat?”

  She smiled. “Ethan, you are fishing for compliments. You have a perfect body.” And her voice dipped a few tones, “One I plan to enjoy a lot.”

  I’ll let you. He liked it when she was bolder. “Ah, that’s the reason for the light dinner.”

  “Smart guy,” she breathed in his ear, taking him by the hand to the dining room.

  The City of London Bank Headquarters

  Alistair’s Office

  9:44 p.m.

  “Come in,” Alistair answered when Tavish knocked on the door frame. “What are you still doing here?”

  “I could ask you the same thing, Brother. But then, I’m not the one recently married to a wonderful woman, father to an angel of a child. If you ever want to change places...” Tavish ducked to avoid the heavy leather bound notepad that sailed over his head. “Sorry, sorry.”

  Alistair pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache forming. A bad one. “I’m going home.”

  “Nae, you’re no’. MacKeenan asked me to inform you that Baptist will be here in fifteen minutes.”

  “Fuck. I forgot.” Alistair put his forehead in his hands. “What time is it?”

  “Quarter to ten,” said Tavish, quietly observing his brother.

  I just want to go home. He was tired. All he wanted now was a good shower and to sleep with Sophia in his arms. He picked up his cell phone and sent Sophia a text message tel
ling her he wouldn’t be home any time soon.

  “What’s wrong, Alistair Connor?” Tavish knew his brother better than anyone. “I’ve heard you’ve been terrorizing the whole office today. Has anything else happened?”

  Alistair leaned on the chair and observed his brother for a few seconds. He’s your brother, for Christ’s sake. Tell him. “Aye, it has. Close the door, please.”

  “So, what do you think?”

  “Do you want me to say what I think or do you want some advice? Because you will receive two very different answers.”

  “Right,” Alistair nodded tiredly. “I know what you personally think about Heather and company. But how about Sophia? Why did I rebuke her so fiercely?”

  “Because you are not ready to share,” Tavish said, cutting straight to the point.

  Alistair’s brows shot up. “I’ve told her all about this. Before she accepted my proposal, and recently, even about Emma. My most shameful secret.”

  “Ah, Alistair Connor,” he shook his head. “You’re not listening to me, and you didn’t listen to Dr. Volk. People who have had a traumatic experience feel a need to talk about what happened. This process is called social sharing and can occur days, weeks, and even years after the event. This is all you have been doing, all right.”

  “So?” You confusing son of a bitch.

  “The problem is that social sharing involves only the facts of the event. You’re not the only one to do this. It’s hard to get in touch with the emotions and feelings that surrounded the event. And they are never shared, if ever, as they should.”

  Have you ever? “But I have. I even cried like a child in her arms one morning during our honeymoon, for Christ’s sake.”

  “That’s good. But did you talk about what made you cry?” Tavish asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

  “Aye, I said that I missed Nathalie.”

  “What really makes the difference is the sharing of emotions, not in a small degree, but in an open way. Remember everything that happened, even if it pains you so much you want to die over and over again; talk about your emotions in the past, what you felt when Nathalie was born, when she died, and how it still affects you today—”

  Fuck you, Brother. “You want to rub me raw?”

  There was such emotion in Alistair’s voice that Tavish felt pity.

  “There. You are feeling rubbed raw. Emotionally skinned, with nothing left to protect you. No mask, no justification. Pure emotions.” Tavish’s face was serious when he finished, “Believe me, Brother. It hurts. It hurts like hell. You’ll cry other times. But when you’re done, you will weigh a thousand tons less.”

  The Harlequin Suite

  10:26 p.m.

  Ethan finished his Porto and put the small crystal glass on the side table. He looked at Barbara, realizing he never asked what she did during the day. All their talk centered on his work or on what they were going to do on the weekends. He didn’t know what she liked to read; or what kind of films she liked to see. She accompanied him to wherever he went without complaining. To the opera, the ballet, the theatre. She never said she would prefer to do something different. And now that he was really alone, no family, no Sophia, no one, only her, he wanted to know.

  Perhaps, Barbara can help me deal with my many issues. “How was your day?”

  Barbara reached over to touch his face and pulled him closer. She slid her lips across his jawline until she was whispering in his ear, “I don’t want to talk right now. Come to bed.”

  Ethan actually felt his breathing speed up as he followed her into the master suite. The bed was turned down and there was a sweet scent in the room.

  “Bed or bath?” Barbara’s puckered nipples were showing through the dress. Her eyes were fastened on Ethan’s groin and her tongue leisurely licked her lips. She took off her long dress and dropped to her knees, wearing just the Greek-style sandals and a small thong. “Forget I asked.”

  Ethan took off his sweater and threw it over his shoulder as Barbara unfastened his trousers and pulled the zipper down, shoving them all the way to his bare feet and he stepped out.

  She stared at his throbbing member with hunger. She felt like an addict who has been deprived of her drug of choice for too long. She took his manhood in her hand and said loudly, “I want you so badly.”

  He raised his eyebrows at her with a devilish smile. “What’s keeping you from having me?”

  Barbara dragged her nails up and down his thighs, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin and he threw his head back. Slowly, painfully slow, she worked her fingers up to his balls and arousal and gripped him forcefully.

  “Take me in your mouth,” he groaned an order, his body tense. “Now, Barbara.”

  She sucked his balls and licked the underside and tip of his penis, blowing on it.

  With a loud groan, Ethan fisted her hair in his hands when she took him in her mouth, with her hand firmly gripping his base. He looked down as his glistening member slid in and out of her mouth and her breasts swung with the motion.

  She dragged her teeth lightly over the broad head and Ethan let out a load grunt.

  “Yes, keep going. Don’t stop!” Ethan’s breathing turned to loud pants and grunts and his hands took more of Barbara’s hair in them. He was close and he was going to come hard. He started to thrust in her mouth and she answered by sucking him harder, fondling him with her hands. “Barbara, baby, you’re so hot.”

  She moaned with pleasure and the vibrations shot through him.

  “I’m coming, baby! Coming hard.” He plunged forward and deep into her mouth, filling it in spurts.

  He let go of her hair and threw himself on the bed, breathing heavily, his body limp from the release.

  Barbara licked her lips and lay on her side, looking at him. “Good?”

  “Sexy...depleting...” He kissed her and looked her over. Her right hand was absently caressing her breast, the horn pendant lying heavily on the other. “You’re beautiful, Barbara. I don’t want you using the lenses or dying your hair anymore. I’ll buy you a new wardrobe. And no normal jewels for you. This horn pendant is sensuous.”

  She froze. “You noticed.”

  Really?! “Barbara.” He sneered. “I notice everything. I just pretend not to, sometimes.”

  She remained silent, even more confused by the man by her side.

  His hand covered hers on her breast and another went down into her. “Let me get you off.”

  He didn’t have to ask twice. She rolled on her back opening her legs to him wantonly. “Yeah, make me come.”

  He smiled. Such an easy woman to please. Maybe she is the best thing Sophia has put in my path after all.

  Atwood House

  11:47 p.m.

  “Hi,” Alistair whispered as he entered the kitchen.

  Sophia turned on the chair to face him.

  The whitemoon light illuminated her features slightly: those beautiful eyes fringed by long lashes, the perfect skin, that mass of long, silky hair that fell over her shoulders, which he ached to slide his fingers through. But he didn’t know if she would be quite willing to be affectionate.

  She gave him a peck on his lips when all he wanted was to gather her in his arms and burrow his head in the hollow of her neck, letting her sweet and peculiar scent wash over him, cleaning away the problems of the day.

  But she stepped back and told him that she would warm up his dinner while he showered.

  As he ate, she talked inanities until she lapsed into an uneasy silence, dealing with her jumbled thoughts.

  He told her he was leaving for Scotland the next morning for a few days, and also became quiet, thinking about how afraid he was of her reaction to taking a few days off in Scotland, solving minor problems that could be resolved by Malcolm or Berkley.

  Sophia had heard the employees commenting that he had left the house in the early hours of the morning, returning less than an hour later in a dark mood. Something very bad had happened during those hours and
he hadn’t shared it with her.

  “Are you tired?” he asked awkwardly.

  “No. But you are,” she said softly. There were shadows under his troubled eyes.

  Worried. “Exhausted.” His weary voice was like velvet and sandpaper all wrapped up together as he placed his silverware on his plate. “I had a rough day. Too many problems.”

  So tell me about them. “Do you want dessert?” she asked, taking his plate and putting everything in the sink. She dried her hands and leaned on the counter, waiting for him to talk, to say something.

  “Nae.” I just want to hold you in my arms. Alistair knew what she wanted but he was not ready to share. Especially after the lack of news from Baptist an hour ago. “Let’s sleep. You wake up early tomorrow and I have a full day too.”

  Stubborn man. “All right.”

  Alistair followed her up to the room and when she exited her dressing room, he was already in bed, his head resting on his hands, looking up at the canopy. He was so lost in his thoughts that he only noticed her when the bed dipped.

  “Take off your shirt. Please,” she asked and draped herself over him, leaning her head on his strong shoulder.

  He was feeling guilt and didn’t know how to approach the subject.

  She was feeling hurt by the way he had ignored her that morning.

  They were both awkwardly touching each other as if looking for a way to start the much needed conversation.

  “I’m sorry about this morning.”

  His voice cut through her thoughts. What can I say? I’m also sorry you hurt my feelings? She ran her hand softly over his chest and shoulder. “You were troubled.”

  “Aye, anyway, I’m really sorry. Mo gràdh, we’ll talk about this another day, okay?” I have to work this out better in my head.

  She didn’t answer immediately, but settled herself more comfortably on his body. Kissing his chest, she whispered, “Let’s sleep, meu amor. Tomorrow will be another day.”

  If it were that simple. He closed his eyes and banded his arms around her body, taking comfort from her love. What are you going to say when I spill everything?