Ghost Guard 2: Agents of Injustice

by J. Joseph Wright

  “Emile! At last!”

  The ghostly Alexandra Petrovic flung herself passionately at Rev, wrapping her arms around him with abandon. He wasn’t even in full physical form yet, and still the electricity of her touch sent waves of fervent fever through his essence. He felt her deep commitment, her heartfelt and unending affection. Her love.

  “Emile! I love you, I love you, I love you!”

  She covered him with kisses, static charged pinpricks of passion. In stunned immobility, Rev caught gazes with Brutus and they exchanged looks that said, What the hell?

  “Uh,” Rev kept his arms straight down, not affording the woman any encouragement at all. Alexandra remained locked onto him in a communion of highly charged emotions. “Uh,” was all he could say, and all he could think was…what would Abby think?

  *****

  “Stop! That’s not Melissa!” Bobby Hardgrove made himself seen and heard. Until that moment, no one knew he was even in the room. Greg, his father, as well as Father Thomas, had hoped secretly he’d gotten bored and went back to internet chats or MMA on Spike TV. Anything but hang out there and continue to be a supreme annoyance. But no. He’d been passed out cold, on his face in a pile of Melissa’s dirty clothes in the closet. He emerged with an accusatory scowl, and aimed his vitriol at Abby. “I’m telling everybody right now, that’s not Melissa!”

  “Bobby, knock it off,” Greg already had enough of his son’s foolishness. “I’m serious. Cool it.”

  “But dad, this girl…she isn’t Melissa. Look!”

  He rushed to the bedside and took a handful of Abby’s hair. Only it wasn’t real. It was a blonde wig. When he yanked it off her head, revealing Abby’s own much darker hair, there was an audible gasp. Sharon held her baby even closer. Greg was paralyzed for an instant. Father Thomas and Monty were beside themselves with confusion. Abby, for her part, stole the wig back from Bobby and attempted to put it on again. But the jig was up, and no one knew it more than Ruby, who did the one thing she knew best—become a pest.

  Appearing in a primal crimson glow, Ruby positioned herself so Brittney would see her. The resulting fit of laughter from the infant precipitated her mother to investigate. When Sharon saw Ruby, she went straight into panic mode.

  “No! You’re not getting my baby! Not again!” She ran to the door. However, Ruby had a distinct supernatural advantage, and simply dematerialized, reappearing in position to block the exit, at least by traditional means. Sharon retreated to her husband’s side. Greg hauled her in and turned his back to the ghastly apparition with stubbly arms, no legs, and the strangest laugh. It had boundless energy and bounced off the walls and ceiling and floor, playing a game of tag with itself…and winning.

  “It’s okay, honey,” Greg reassured his wife. “It’s okay. Father, can’t you do something about this!”

  The priest, recovering from his stupor, nudged his assistant and they both set about their ritualistic prayers and readings in even greater earnest. Ruby delighted in the attention, skirting about and laughing at each of them, paying particular mind to Father Thomas. The priest flung his aspergillum and she dematerialized, allowing the holy water to pass through her and splash against the wall. That made her laugh even more, and it had Father Thomas confounded. What course of action to take next?

  Abby didn’t have any such confusion. She knew Ruby’s wild behavior had a purpose, and when the chaos reached a fever pitch, when each of the bystanders were out of their minds with angst over the hyperactive poltergeist, she took advantage of the distraction and stole away.

  Before leaving, Ruby infused each and every electronic device in the room with paranormal power, turning them into automated robots. Melissa’s cellphone, her tablet computer, her portable stereo, alarm clock, every lamp and overhead light, even the old CD player and a Hello Kitty lamp she put in the closet, all came to life. And the resultant chaos allowed Abby her escape.

  Her feet moved on autopilot. She’d memorized the floor plan well in advance, and could navigate the place in the dark. Barking orders over the radio the whole way, she took charge of the final phase of the mission.

  “I’m on my way to the extraction point! Morris, power up the Phantom, put it in autodrive, and send it to the back entrance, quick!”

  She didn’t give anyone the time to respond.

  “Rev, Brutus…I’m on my way! Do you have the target extracted yet?”

  Sprinting at full speed, she found her way into the basement staging area. There, as she rounded the corner, she had to halt in her tracks. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Then again, it made perfect sense, and she wondered why she was surprised at all.

  Abby had no words during that initial millisecond. Rev made her insane with anger. He had one last second remaining in his existence, then Abby, so help her, would find a way to send him to the fathomless void. In the center of the basement, Rev had another woman all over him, draping him with kiss after kiss after kiss.

  “Rev!” Abby rushed to the impassioned couple and tried to tear the woman away. She got another heavy dose of astonishment when her hands went right through the woman’s shoulders. At that moment she realized it was Alexandra Petrovic. Her spirit was unencumbered by the carnal boundaries of Melissa Hardgrove’s body, which happened to be lying peacefully and silently, unconscious and unharmed, on an old sofa.

  Abby, after failing to separate the two ghosts, turned her ire once again on the one person who she knew deserved it.

  “Rev! What did you do to her?”

  “I—” Rev couldn’t use his physical mouth to form the words. Alexandra, covering it with caresses, wouldn’t let him. So he used telepathy.

  …I have nothing to do with this, I swear!

  “Bullshit!” Abby shouted. “I know exactly what happened! You couldn’t help yourself! Damn it, Rev, something’s wrong with you. You get within twenty feet of an attractive woman and-and this!”

  But I didn’t do it, Abby! Tell her, Brutus!

  Brutus didn’t know what to say, since he was finding it difficult to walk the tightrope between the two of them. What Abby said next made him even more uncertain.

  “Yeah, Brutus,” she sneered. “Tell me what happened? Because I thought I asked you to keep an eye on him. You couldn’t even do that?”

  Brutus outstretched his large and ashen palms in a wholly subservient gesture as he shrugged and backed away.

  “That’s what I thought,” her words were laden with bitter scorn. “Some tough ghost we have here. Afraid to step in and do the dirty work. Rev! Knock it OFF!”

  “I’m not doing it!” Rev collapsed into a dusty film of nothingness, then manifested out of thin air on the opposite side of the basement.

  “Can the crap. Why else would a sensible, normal, otherwise intelligent spirit fall for the likes of you?”

  Just when Abby asked the question, it was answered by Alexandra’s fervent cry.

  “Emile! Don’t go!” she dashed in an incandescent haze, a tracer of light zipping across the room and enveloping Rev in a halo of passionate caresses.

  Abby’s jealous rage evaporated into something akin to wonder. “Emile?” she threw out the name with incredulity. “Did she say Emile?”

  “Yes!” Alexandra shouted back. “Emile! My Emile!” she showered Rev with even more fervent kisses.

  “Emile Petrovic? Your husband?”

  “Yes, my Emile! My wonderful Emile!”

  At that moment, before Abby could set the unruly spirit straight, she sensed Ruby. In her made up and esoteric language, Ruby shouted from upstairs, warning them the breathers were coming. She repeated it several times before bursting into the basement, passing through the ceiling like a missile and circling the room in perpetual orbit. Her message never varied or faltered. Her antics got Brutus involved. He knew the egress points, and knew it was important to get the crew out as quickly as possible. But he thought his immense girth, once manifested to his full physical form, would best be suited to leaning against the one a
nd only door in or out of the basement.

  Good decision. The moment Brutus got there, the door opened and Greg Hardgrove poked in his head. That was as far as he got, though. He took one petrified look at the giant ghost and retreated into the hall. Then he had a flash about the fact that he saw, in one fleeting glimpse, his daughter, Melissa, draped over the couch like a cheap suit. An instant surge of rage overcame his senses, and he burst into the room, ready for anything.

  Spurred on by his wife, he ran to the center of the basement, screaming some incoherent threats about tearing everyone limb from limb. He had his mind set on the people that he’d seen, and made up his fight response accordingly. Only one problem. The strangers that had been lurking in his house only two seconds earlier were now gone. That came as an unfathomable relief. Another unfathomable relief was finding Melissa and waking her gently, hearing her sweet voice saying, “Daddy?”

  A screeching noise stirred them all. Greg, the thankful father, Sharon the disturbed mother, Father Thomas, the stupefied priest and would-be exorcist, Monty, his equally stupefied assistant, and even the not-so-easily impressed Bobby sprinted to the window of the daylight basement. In the driveway they saw it. A curved, rounded, modern yet timeless aerodynamically-designed 1920s Rolls Royce. It was called The Phantom, but they didn’t know that. All they knew was it looked like a black and silver shark speeding away, with a customized plate reading, GST GRD.

  Chapter 6

  “Emile, darling! It’s me! Emile!”

  Alexandra Petrovic wouldn’t let Rev out of her sight all the way to Gasworks, bombarding him with affection the entire trip.

  “Listen, lady,” as soon as they reached the safety of their hideout, Rev tried to make a break for it. “You’ve got the wrong ghost.”

  “She can’t hear you,” Morris met the team with more than a little concern. He took measurements and readings and made calculations, then did it all again, a redundancy just to be on the safe side. After running all the tests, his suspicions were confirmed. “She’s in quantum distortion.”

  “Quantum distortion?” Abby thought she’d heard it all. With Morris, though, it was always a learning experience.

  “Basically, she’s on a low frequency. Probably due to all the excitement with the exorcism and the extraction. That’s why she’s behaving this way.”

  “Don’t make excuses for Rev,” Abby wouldn’t accept a word of it. “He’s done something to her and he won’t admit it. Isn’t that right, loverboy?”

  “Abby,” Rev pleaded with her. “You can’t be serious.”

  “Why the hell else would she keep following you like a lost puppy?”

  Alexandra was oblivious to their voices, the things they were saying. She only wanted one thing—Rev.

  “Actually,” Morris interposed. “She’s not acting like this because of anything Rev did. It’s because of the way he looks.”

  Abby laughed cynically. “What are you saying? She took one look at him and fell in love?”

  She was indignant on the outside. Inside, she simmered with concern. She knew how easily she’d fallen for Rev. Hard and fast, though she’d fought it for the better part of a year before surrendering. And now, to see another woman, a spirit no less, do the very thing to him she wanted to be doing—it drove her wild. The worst part of all was that it seemed, by his stupid smile, Rev enjoyed the whole thing immensely.

  “Why’s that so surprising?” Rev grinned even stupider. How could such a handsome face look so juvenile? “You did.”

  Abby glared daggers at him. Before full-scale war broke out, Morris doused the fire with an explanation.

  “Rev bears a resemblance to Emile Petrovic. And, well, if you haven’t recognized by now, Alexandra keeps calling him by that name. It’s my expert opinion that, due to her being trapped in the low frequency vibrational phase, she thinks Rev is her husband.”

  Ruby could contain herself no longer. The story of this mystery woman intrigued her easily-intrigued mind, and she simply had to investigate. She made a beeline for the newest ghost in Gasworks, adding a shrill shriek that could have awakened the dead. As a matter of fact, it did. Both Rev and Brutus reacted with a start to Ruby’s ear-piercing dive-bomb. Abby dodged out of the way. And then Morris. The only one who didn’t move was Alexandra, who watched with clear and obvious dismay as Rev escaped her loving embrace once again.

  “Emile, why do you want to leave me? Come to me, my darling husband! Come to me, Emile!”

  Passionately, she threw herself at him again. Again Abby oozed with jealousy.

  “All right,” she tried to get in between them. But how does one get between two ghosts? “Break it up! Break it up!” Her efforts were useless. Alexandra wrapped herself around Rev like a scarf. Rev had no permanent escape.

  “You see?” Morris saw confirmation of his hypothesis as he observed Alexandra’s conduct even further. “She’s behaving as a mere residual haunting at this point. And she’ll continue to do this unless I use my quantum oscillator to raise her one-dimensional Euclidean plane into a finite dimension.”

  “Morris, we don’t need a dissertation. Just do it.” Abby crossed her arms and tapped a toe rapidly. She wanted satisfaction and she wanted it now.

  “What’s the matter, Abby?” Rev snickered. “Don’t tell me you’re—”

  “Don’t say that word!” she put her finger in front of his face forcefully. “Don’t you ever say it!”

  “What, Abby? What is it that you so desperately don’t want me to say? That you’re, I don’t know, jealous?”

  “Son of a—!” she reached for something, anything she could to throw. She hated it when he taunted her, and now he was going to pay. The nearest thing she could find was Morris’s tablet computer. She was about to fling it like a Frisbee when Morris stepped in, calming her down by telling her Alexandra could be cured.

  *****

  Morris took five minutes in setting up his worktable for the task at hand. Not that it was altogether too complicated. All he needed was one standard 15 amp fuse. He searched his entire work station until he found one, which was the main reason why it took the full five minutes.

  “Would you hurry?” Abby had lost her patience six minutes earlier. Watching the phased out, spaced-out spirit of Alexandra Petrovic fawning all over her man troubled her more than she cared to admit.

  “Don’t be that way, Abby,” Rev could only take Alexandra’s unending, undying affection in stride. “Remember what Morris said? She can’t help it.”

  “You don’t seem to hate it,” Abby winced as Alexandra, gleaming whitely in a soft glow, manifested her softly delicate face and placed a gentle kiss on Rev’s lips. Then she went again to her main activity, which was simply cuddling with her mistaken beloved.

  “How can you say such a thing?” Rev offered her the innocent look he was so good at mustering. She saw through it like a piece of rice paper, but only glared as Morris made his final preparations

  “There,” he said. The setup was complete. “Ready for subquantum acceleration.”

  Morris held two metal rods which were connected by thin black wiring. He aimed the rods at both Rev and their guest.

  “Whoa!” Rev took a defensive posture. “Watch where you point that thing!”

  “Don’t worry, Rev,” Morris chuckled. “You’re already at the same vibrational level as the output from these probes. So are Brutus and Ruby. The only ghost who’ll be affected by the acceleration will be Alexandra.”

  He powered on the subquantum accelerator with his thumbs. A strange and eerie clicking sound started slowly and then gained speed rapidly. The probes emitted excited strings of confetti-like particles of light, all sizes and colors and shapes, dancing like an endless chorus line, a rainbow effect, only duplicated over and over countless times and in countless ways. The frequency of the rainbow surges corresponded with the frequency emitted from the oscillator. The ticking grew faster until it became one solid stream, and with the rapidity of the clicking came
a circular motion of the colorfully lighted specks. Spinning clockwise and counter clockwise at the same time, with alternating central cores.

  All of this had a strange and surprising effect: order out of chaos, brilliance out of darkness. And when it was all over, when the rainbow haze cleared into a fine iridescent mist, Alexandra Petrovic stood struggling to speak. Not for the loss of words, but for the time she’d spent in the low frequency funk. She still held Rev in her arms with the most intimate of embraces. She had her soul bared for all to see. Then the subquantum acceleration hit, lifting her to the higher level of consciousness, she became self-aware again. When that happened, she stopped kissing Rev and looked at him.

  “Who are you!” she retreated with supernatural quickness. She would have slipped into the ether if not for Brutus, who blocked her every possible escape. She halted suddenly and molded into her living shape, cowering from the immense entity, a dark gray cumulonimbus cloud reaching from floor to ceiling. Alexandra took one look at him and froze, screaming: “It’s you! Oh my god! It’s The Singulate! Leave us alone!”

  “Try to calm down, Miss,” Rev employed every ounce of suave, every molecule of cool. “We’re here to help.”

  “No one here wants to hurt you,” Abby took over, eyeing Rev suspiciously. “We’re friends. Like Rev said, we want to help. Let us.”

  “NO!” she backed away. In a terrified circle she skirted, fast as lightning, bemoaning every second of her pursuit. “You’re lying! You always lie! You lie and you cheat and you steal! You steal souls, and you have my husband’s soul! No, stay away! You can’t have me!”