Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  As I walked back to the ballroom, I mentally prepared myself for seeing them together again. I needed a different approach. I spotted her immediately on the dance floor in his arms again. Control this, Lex. I walked to my table and leaned into Brooke’s ear. “Time to call in a favor?”

  She laughed as she grabbed my hand and followed me to the dance floor. I found a spot not too far from them and wrapped my arms around Brooke.

  Charlotte was staring at me, a look of mixed emotions. She couldn’t take her eyes off me so I leaned in to kiss Brooke on the neck. Closing my eyes, pretending to inhale her scent, my eyes slowly looking up to watch for Charlotte’s reaction. Tormented, Charlotte let go of Julian and walked quickly towards the exit. I excused myself, assuming she was running out of the ballroom. I spotted her walking down the hall, then caught up with her and grabbed her hand. I looked around quickly: there was no one in sight. I pulled her into the empty ballroom.

  I started pacing up and down. I wanted her, all of her. I never had someone not want me, but here she was, acting like we were nothing, that what we had was just a fling. I felt my anger bubbling to the surface. Was she in love with this guy? I had to ask. She kept quiet. So she did love him! I couldn’t help what I word-vomited next. “I see the way you look at him. It was the way you used to look at me.”

  “Used to Ale…Lex. You walked away, not me,” she stammered.

  “I had no choice! I looked for you. I didn’t give up on us!” I yelled.

  Her expression changed almost immediately. She looked pained, like it hurt too much to talk about it. “The moment you chose her, you gave up on us.”

  She was quick to bring up Samantha again. I was literally out of my mind. I grabbed her face, crushing my lips against hers. The taste of her soft lips melted onto mine. I wanted more. I needed to taste every part of her. Our tongues feverishly battled each other as I pinned her against the door. She didn’t push me away, so I took advantage by cupping her face. I couldn’t get enough of her sweet taste. She was always an amazing kisser but what knocked me for six was this swirl thing she did with her tongue that she would do when she used to give me head. Well, FUCK ME senseless, she had to have known she was doing it. It didn’t last long though. I felt her resistance so I trapped her arms, buying time. I pressed my cock against her thigh at the same time my hand trailed her cheekbone and slid down her neck, finding itself flat against the middle of her exposed chest. Just one move to the left or right and I would have her in my hands. Her fucking perfect tits were calling out to me but it was almost like she could read my mind as she found her strength and pushed me away, both of us struggling to catch our breath. Her face was flushed and I couldn’t help but notice her nipples were hard. Fuck.

  “Lex, we can’t. Please, you don’t understand… I can’t go down this path again.”

  No matter how many times I said it, it didn’t erase what happened. I apologized, telling her how much I regretted my actions. She had to see that none of it was supposed to happen. She was meant to be my girl, my wife all along.

  “Lex, I’ve moved on. It took me a long time to finally accept my destiny. If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone.” Her eyes never left mine as she said those words. She walked away, stopping to touch her lips as she left me standing there alone.

  I ran my fingers through my hair. This was not like me. What the fuck was happening? Maybe I just needed to get her out of my system. Just one last time, one fuck. Maybe it wasn’t about love anymore. Maybe it was a primal curiosity. But her last words stabbed me: if I cared, leave her alone.

  I walked out of the ballroom, running into my sister. “Lex, there you are! We need to talk.”

  “Not now, Adriana.” I continued to walk away. I needed to think about tonight, whether or not I would choose to respect her wishes.

  “It’s about Charlie.”

  With that, she caught my attention. “What’s wrong?”

  “All that stuff Charlie’s mom said was a lie. There was nobody else. Maria just said that so you wouldn’t look for her.” Adriana’s face looked full of regret. She had accompanied me on that fateful trip to Cuba. She knew what I had gone through and the reason behind my decision at the time.

  “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought she deserved to be happy, even if it was with someone else.” My voice was low. I felt so vulnerable. It had been a long time since I felt any emotions and in one night she had brought them all back.

  “I know, Lex. But it’s done and now she’s here. What are you going to do about it?”

  “I don’t know. She asked me to leave her alone, said she is finally happy.”

  “You did that last time, and look where it got you!”

  We were interrupted by the MC announcing the final act for the night. When Sting came on stage the crowd erupted in applause. I couldn’t help but think about us, the past. Everything that I had, how I easily gave it away. Why did I so willingly allow another man to put his hands on her? What the hell was I thinking? She was meant to be mine from the moment we collided in the kitchen that night I came back from college. How could I let her go?

  I watched her as she stood alone across the room. Her face looked sad as she raised her hand and touched her lips again. The song ended. I thought about what she said. Let her be happy like she deserves. That’s what I thought I was doing when her mom told me she had moved on. I didn’t think she deserved a jerk like me, not after what I had done to her.

  “Lex.” Adriana wrapped her arms around me. She knew the turmoil I was feeling. Her embrace felt comforting in the moment. No matter how much we fought, I loved my sister. “Eric told me Julian had an emergency and left. She will be alone tonight.”

  “Adriana, I think it’s best I leave her alone… Wait! WHAT?? So you’re best friends with Eric now?”

  “Don’t you just love him! We have a lunch date tomorrow.” She squealed. Oh dear lord, save me now. “If you need me to go I can be there tonight.”

  “No, Adriana, it’s OK. I know you have that important breakfast meeting. I’m a big boy. I can handle this.” I kissed her on the cheek as she said goodbye.

  The night started to wind down, and I watched as the crowds slowly dispersed. Charlotte was with Eric and Emma, grabbing their things. She looked at me before quickly turning away. So what, I didn’t even get a goodbye? This wasn’t like Charlotte at all. The old Charlotte wouldn’t ignore me. She would be in my face cursing till the sun set if she had a problem.

  I walked around the ballroom and said goodbye to a few people, also arranging business meetings with potential investors. As I walked out through the main entrance, I stopped for a brief moment to think about my actions.

  If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone. Her words replayed in my mind over and over again like a broken record. I was torn. I didn’t want to make more mistakes. The past was the past and in order to move forward, I had to forgive myself for all the wrong decisions I made. But it wasn’t just about me forgiving myself; it was about her forgiving me.

  “Mr. Edwards, your driver is here.” The concierge opened the door to the car.

  “Thank you.” I tipped the young guy, then pressed the security screen down to speak to the driver.

  “Where to, sir?” the driver asked.

  I knew what I had to do. I owed it to her. I would make this right.

  “After Dark, please.”

  Chapter 9

  Charlie

  The ten-minute cab ride to After Dark felt like a lifetime. The guilt, betrayal, and the momentary indiscretion all weighed heavily on my shoulders. It’s just a kiss. It meant nothing and he initiated it. I pulled away therefore I shouldn’t feel guilty. Really, Charlie? I studied law at Harvard. How stupid could I be? The problem wasn’t my brain. The problem was my heart pulling it along, guiding it in the wrong direction. I could practically hear the GPS in my head telling me to turn around as soon as possible. That’s all I had
to do then: turn around. Don’t go there, ignore anything and anyone who would deter me from my final destination: marrying Julian.

  It didn’t take Eric long to break the uncomfortable silence. He kept his voice low while Emma sat in the front speaking loudly on her cell. “OK Charlie, are you going to tell me about Lex?”

  I could hear the anticipation in his voice, but I just wanted to forget tonight. It was too much with both him and Julian there. Every time I saw Alex I felt this surge of anger – for leaving me, for choosing her, but mostly because I still wanted him desperately. The kiss replayed in my mind, the desperation he felt. Then the guilt washed over me and now I was back to square one.

  “There’s nothing to tell. We dated in high school.”

  “So when you say ‘dated,’ were you in love with him? Why did you break up?”

  This was the type of conversation that needed to take place over a bottle of tequila, never-ending packet of Hershey’s and a box of tissues. Not in the back of a cab. I knew he wouldn’t give up so I gave him the best answer I could but knowing Eric, he’d keep pursuing his line of questioning.

  I faced the window as I spoke barely above a whisper. “I thought I was in love with him but I was just a kid. I didn’t know what love was. We parted ways and I went to college.”

  “OK, but honeycakes, he is drop-dead gorgeous! Don’t you want to tap that ass again?” Here we go. Eric tends to get all Queen Latifah when he’s had too much champagne. This was just the beginning.

  “E, he might be gorgeous but look, he’s just another big shot CEO. His ego is so big it has its own air supply and should come with a government warning, and quite frankly any woman is just a notch on his belt anyway. These types of guys don’t stick around, and aren’t you forgetting a very important factor… Hello!” I said as I flashed my ring in front of him.

  “Oh yeah…but are you sure about it?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “All I’m saying is that every time you were near him your tatas were jumping for joy and your beaver was singing celebration and I swear I could almost hear a gospel choir singing hallelujah.”

  “Honestly Eric, how on Earth do you come up with these things?” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Eric then distracted himself by taking selfies with his phone. The subject was officially dropped.

  …

  After Dark was a new club but already hoards of people were waiting in line. According to Eric it was the new ‘IT’ place. Everyone from J-Lo to Katy Perry had been seen here. I wondered who would be here tonight. “Please be JT. Please be JT!” I chanted. Like I had a chance since Jessica Biel had already got her claws into him. Damn that hot bitch!

  “Eric Kennedy, party of three.”

  The large security guard opened the rope and let us in. How did Eric pull that off? I knew people had been trying to get in for weeks, as the list was long and distinguished. We walked past the rope and into the club. The club was huge compared to others I had been to. The bottom level was the dance floor lit up in an aqua color. The mezzanine level where we stood circled the dance floor. There were black leather booths that followed the flow of the circle. Facing directly opposite from the entrance where we stood was the bar. It was long, lit up and of course crowded. It looked amazing and, most importantly, it was going to help me forget these past three days.

  We followed Eric to the bar. I motioned for the bartender, which wasn’t hard as he was already eyeing me up—or should I say he was eyeing my boobs. This dress was seriously the biggest man-magnet. I remembered Lex’s hand resting on my chest, inches away from the curve of my breast. Argh, I needed to get drunk. The tequila couldn’t come fast enough. After we knocked back our first round, I ordered a second. They needed to keep coming if I wanted to erase my memory.

  Eric dumped us by the third. As I predicted, some hot guy had stolen him and for all I knew he was probably tied up in the back room.

  “Look Charlie, I don’t want to upset you but if you ever need to talk you know I’m here, right?” Emma’s offer was genuine and I knew I could confide in her, plus she was a great listener.

  “Thanks, Emma. But all I want to do is forget tonight ever happened. How did I go from no men in my life to suddenly two?”

  “Maybe it’s fate. Have you thought about that?” Emma was a believer in fate, love and destiny. It wouldn’t surprise me if she attended those finding love seminars and wrote affirmations on her bathroom mirror.

  “Or maybe it’s just the universe wanting to fuck me up big time,” I hollered.

  We laughed so hard and for the first time that evening I felt lighter. The tequila was making me loosen up – just what the doctor ordered. Then a young good-looking guy came up to Emma and started chatting with her, and there went my drinking buddy. I ordered another shot but this time there was no counting down. I downed the shot, the burning no longer apparent.

  “Hi baby, can I buy you a drink?” My skin crawled as he said it. Oh God, what a loser. The guy looked like he stepped out of one of those muscle magazines. He was wearing a shirt that read, “I Love Ass.” Seriously, did guys think that would get them laid? I was just about to tell him where to shove his drink and T-shirt when another voice stopped me. His voice.

  “She’s with me.”

  I didn’t have to look. I felt that familiar pull, that familiar scent. I turned to look at him. He was still in his suit but had removed his tie. His chest was slightly exposed revealing his tanned skin. He looked just like Eric had described him: drop-dead gorgeous. I couldn’t deny that I craved him, but the rational Charlie was now controlled by alcohol and was trying her best to wave her white flag.

  The guy looked amused. “I wouldn’t leave her wandering the bar alone. A sexy little thing like her could really do some damage.”

  Lex icily glared at the guy. He backed off like a scared puppy dog. I wanted to laugh given the size of the guy but I was distracted by the hotness before me. I was in trouble, and this time I was alone. Fuck!

  “You didn’t have to do that. I can take care of myself!” I spat angrily, hoping to hide the nervousness I felt around him, especially now that we were alone. Him standing before me proved he couldn’t even respect my wishes: to leave me alone.

  He was just about to respond when Eric appeared. THANK FUCK!

  “Lex, thank you so much for sorting the door for me!”

  What? How could Lex get us in, and when did Eric become best buds with him? I reminded myself to grill him later. I didn’t want to get into it now. I needed to escape this torture so I scanned the room for a quick getaway. My plan foiled as Eric began speaking again.

  “Charlie, did you know Lex owns this place? I mean, seriously, how hot is this club!” Lex smirked as Eric continued. Rambling on about every detail, I was ready to kill Eric with my bare hands. Didn’t his parents teach him not to play with fire?

  “Good evening, Mr. Edwards. What will it be?” asked the bartender.

  “A round of tequila shots, Dylan. Can you send them to the VIP area?”

  “Coming right up, sir.” The bartender grabbed the bottle and started pouring the shots.

  Lex grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Eric, Emma and her new boy-toy followed closely behind me as we took the stairs up to another level. The hostess greeted Lex, practically throwing herself on him with her tits out for show. Stupid whore. He still held onto my hand, which felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t pull mine away. And the mantra going on in my head? Just a friend… He’s just a friend.

  The VIP area had a quiet ambience to it, not like downstairs. There was another bar, less crowded with gold leather barstools in a row. In one booth I could see P. Diddy, or Puffy, Sean – whatever his name was this week – sitting with a group of girls. It looked like a music video. He nodded his head at Lex, and Lex nodded back. Then Lex directed us to a secluded circle-shaped booth like the one downstairs but with golden sheer curtains surrounding it and a full view of the entire club.

&
nbsp; I sat down at the booth, Lex sliding in beside me. He sat as close as possible, the heat of his body pressing against mine. I tried desperately to distract myself but the butterflies were working overtime and I mean back-to-back double shifts. I was so screwed.

  “You own this club?” I asked hesitantly.

  “Yes, this and another one. Perhaps if you had the time to talk to me you would know what I did with my spare time,” he said sarcastically.

  Asshole.

  We chatted more about the club. I could feel Lex’s eyes on me throughout the whole conversation. He had his arm draped over my shoulder, twirling his fingers around a lock of my hair. I pretended I hadn’t noticed though every twirl sent a signal down to my lady garden to start the sprinkler. It wasn’t long before Eric, Emma and boy-toy announced they were going to dance. I was left alone. I wanted to scream at them. So much for backing a girl up! They might as well have thrown me to the wolves.

  The shots were lined up in front of us and I immediately drank mine to forget my anxiety. Oh yeah, that definitely helped. Lex hadn’t touched his yet. Instead he grabbed my arm and twisted it so my wrist was facing him. He poured the salt on it and slowly slid his tongue up my arm, never letting his eyes leave mine. He drank the tequila then sucked the piece of lemon, slowly swirling his tongue around it. My head was trying to push the thoughts away but in my body the ache burned. I imagined his tongue was between my legs. I felt my nipples harden. I wanted to reach out and assault his beautiful mouth.