Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  “When did you get the tattoo?”

  “Back in college.”

  “What is it?”

  “A phoenix.”

  He pulled my body up and handed me my clothes, then he watched me get dressed.

  “Why are you taking your shirt off now?” I asked, curious as to why he was unbuttoning his shirt. Then he revealed it—his tattoo, in all its glory.

  I don’t know what shocked me more, the tattoo or his perfectly sculpted abs. Without thinking I reached out and ran my fingertips along it; it was some sort of tribal tattoo but when I looked closely I saw its shadow was of a lion. It ran down the side of his torso, along his ribcage.

  “Lions are a sign of power,” I mumbled to myself.

  “Yes they are, and the Phoenix?”

  I didn’t want to discuss it, not now, not here when I was so vulnerable. “It’s late,” I said. “We need to go.”

  He didn’t push me for answers. He helped me tidy my desk as I shut down the computer. I grabbed my purse as well as my cell. The cell had a message; I must not have heard it over all the screaming.

  Remember Batman has all these fancy tricks up his sleeve if you need a pick me up.

  Lex saw me read my message, this time ignoring it. Then my phone buzzed again. It was Adriana. Shit, I forgot!

  “Adriana.” I placed her on speakerphone so Lex knew I wasn’t making up a story.

  “Charlie, I’m in your lobby! The doorman said he could let me up but I thought I would call you first.”

  “I’m sorry, Adriana, I got caught up in something. Tell Jean he can let you in my apartment. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

  “OK sweetie, see ya soon.”

  Lex grinned as he bowed his head.

  “Why are you smiling like that?” I asked, unable to hide my own smile. I had to admit seeing him smile made my heart flutter. That stupid arrogant prick was so fucking beautiful.

  “You know Adriana is going to ask you a million questions, right? She’ll want seven year’s worth of information in the space of an hour.” He chuckled.

  “I know. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.”

  We entered the elevator. I leaned over and attempted to push the ground floor button. I felt his hand push mine away. He pressed the stop button.

  “Time to make this a reality,” he said, then he pushed my skirt up, taking me from behind.

  Round three, here we go.

  …

  “I’m here, I’m here!” I bolted through my front door, praying I didn’t have jizz running down my leg. Fuck me, I felt like a sloppy pastebucket.

  “Hiya!” she said, hugging me tight.

  I excused myself, quickly changing in my room to my sweats and a tank top. As I walked back in, Adriana was reading my tattered copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

  “Don’t you just love how dominant and jealous Christian Grey is?” she asked, her eyes quickly darting as she finished reading the page she was on.

  “Yeah, sounds familiar,” I murmured.

  “But why did Anastasia have to have a bush? It killed my buzz when I read that.”

  I laughed out loud. Of course I had thought the exact same thing. I still remember Bull’s and I having a good old rant about people who had bushes.

  “Anyways.” She put the book down and faced me as I sat on the couch. “Your place is amazeballs. What’s the name of your interior decorator?”

  “Um, me, and have you been talking to Eric because I swear, Adriana, the two of you were separated at birth.”

  “Oh em gee, he is totally awesome, right? I can’t believe you did this yourself. You never liked designing or fashion before.”

  “Things change, people grow. The designing part I started to enjoy when I lived with my grandmother. She had a taste for random knick-knacks but somehow she made it work. On the weekends we would go to flee markets looking for one-of-a-kind pieces. As for fashion, part of it was because of Nikki. We shared a room in college and every time I would have a date she would lend me her outfits. I kind of got a taste for it.”

  “Will you please tell me more about your grandmother?” she asked gently.

  “She was an amazing woman—” I hesitated, unsure how long I could go on without breaking down. “I only met her a few times when I was young because her and my mom didn’t really get along. When things in Carmel got too difficult my dad spoke to her and she welcomed me with open arms. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without spending those last five months with her. She was such a compassionate woman, so much wisdom. She held onto me when I needed hope, gave me strength to see the future.” I stopped abruptly knowing I couldn’t go on. Could I pour my heart out to Adriana and tell her my grandmother was there, holding my hand on the darkest day of my life? My heart tightened as I closed my eyes, reliving the memory. “She was sick but she never told anyone. The day she passed away was when I found out.” We were both quiet for a moment. I started to cry but quickly put myself back together. I looked at Adriana and asked, “Will you tell me what happened, when you found out?”

  She held my hand as she spoke. “I noticed Lex acting weird but I had no idea about the baby. Samantha called us over one night and she announced the pregnancy. Lex was furious, I mean full on Defcon10 furious. He didn’t want this to happen. My parents of course saw it as a blessing. The next day we went over to see if Lex had calmed down. Samantha was home by herself and she was visibly upset. She had been crying and as my mom consoled her, she told her that Lex was having an affair. When she said your name, we all froze. My father was livid. He was ready to kill Lex. I was numb. You were my best friend, and I felt betrayed by you.”

  “Adriana, it was never my attention. I loved him so much…”

  She looked up curiously as I openly admitted my feelings for him. “I thought about that. I thought maybe what you and Lex had was like me and Elijah but Samantha kept telling me that you used me to get closer to Lex and that all along you had your eye on him. I don’t know why I believed her. The biggest regret I have is not following my instincts. Instead I gave up on our friendship.”

  I let out a huge sigh. “You know what? It’s done, and now we move on.”

  She hugged me tight. I missed her, my best friend. “Yes, I know. It’s like fate played a part. Now, will you be my maid of honor?”

  I looked at her, the excitement radiating off her. “Of course, Adriana!” We hugged tight again and I thought I might as well ask the most important question or I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. “Who’s designing the dress?”

  She rambled on about the designers involved, my heart racing with excitement.

  “We planned our wedding three years ago but right before the big day Elijah was sick. We found out he had cancer. Thankfully with plenty of chemo he was able to walk away cancer-free and has had a clean bill of health for three years.”

  “I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult that must have been for you.”

  “It was but luckily I had my family to support us. Lex exhausted himself finding the best cancer centers in the world. I don’t know what I would have done without him,” she said, then she went silent for a few moments. She looked at me curiously. “You know, he will be best man at the wedding.”

  I kind of knew that would be the case but I couldn’t say no. It wasn’t about us; it was Adriana and Elijah’s special day.

  “It’s cool, Adriana. I’m sure we can both be in the same room as each other.” My mind flashed to my office. Yes, we could be in the same room as each other but maybe not with our clothes on.

  “Charlie, look, you don’t need to answer…but were you with him tonight? I won’t ask anything else because he is my brother and that would be TMI.”

  I laughed, how awkward. I thought our sharing days were long gone. My cell buzzed and I quickly grabbed it off the coffee table. It was a text from Lex.

  My sister left you alone yet?

  I laughed out loud, Adriana looking at me confused
.

  “Something funny?” she asked.

  I showed her the text, then she rolled her eyes and burst out laughing. “Charlie, have you thought about this? Aren’t you still engaged to Julian?”

  Well, if that wasn’t a slap in the face. Julian, fuck! With Lex around I had suddenly taken leave of my senses. The guilt began to seep in. “Adriana, it’s…I mean, Julian is a great guy. He worships the ground I walk on. But—”

  “But he’s not Lex.”

  No, he wasn’t Lex. He was a sweet, humble, compassionate, caring man. He treated me with respect, always sincere with his intentions. He made me smile, never argued with me. Meanwhile Lex had become this cold, arrogant son of a bitch who treated me like I was his possession. Instead of making me smile, he angered me—to the core.

  “It’s been a long day,” I said, “and Lex is, well, he is complicated.”

  “You’re telling me?” Adriana hooted. She grabbed her purse and hugged me again. “I better head off but you and me—” She pointed to me then her, “—we are back on.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smiled.

  As I climbed into bed that night, my muscles tightened after the intensity of what had happened. You’d think I was done, yet here I was soaking wet again, the images playing in my mind, his cock eagerly waiting near my mouth. I was coming undone again. I grabbed my cell and responded to his text.

  Yes I am all alone now.

  I wanted to write more. I wanted to tell him to get over here now and fuck my brains into next week right here in my bed. The cell buzzed and I quickly read the text.

  Me too

  It was a quick but meaningful response. Bastard, I thought.

  You’re not alone, you have your hand. Pink wrote a whole song about it.

  Snap! Great comeback.

  As much as that song brought pleasure to people, I would rather you brought pleasure to me, right now.

  Fuck, I’m screwed. I read the message a dozen times and every time I read it, my hands would automatically make their way down to my pants, rubbing slightly to ease the pain. I quickly typed a message, then continued to explore.

  Greedy, always wanting more.

  His response was instant.

  Charlotte, with you, never enough.

  His last text sent me over the edge, and I came on the spot. Granted, it was nowhere near as good as when I was with him, but I had already been fucked twice today. Exhausted, I drifted off to sleep within minutes.

  …

  I strolled into the office at eight o’clock on the dot; Eric was sitting at reception with Emma, both drinking lattes.

  “Well hello there, Miss Mason. You look awfully happy this morning,” he commented with one of his eyebrows raised.

  “It’s going to be a busy day. You know I thrive on a full schedule.” I smirked.

  “Uh huh, full schedule.” He looked at Emma and whispered, “More like a full load of jizz in her waterhole.”

  “Hey, I heard that!” I yelled as I walked towards my office.

  As I opened the door, like a crime scene before me, the memories of last night came flooding back. I smiled as I switched on my laptop and ran over my workload for today. Opening my inbox, the first email caught my attention. It was from Lex.

  * * *

  From: Lex Edwards

  Subject: Blissful Sleep

  Sent: September 26, 2012 7:53 AM

  To: Charlotte Mason

  Good Morning, Miss Mason,

  I trust you slept well. I know I did.

  Any free time on your hands today or does the schedule only allow for quickies?

  Lex Edwards

  * * *

  Eric entered my office and sat down in his usual spot. I laughed out loud when I read the email, Eric staring at me curiously. I quickly responded before starting my meeting with Eric.

  * * *

  From: Charlotte Mason

  Subject: Drowning

  Sent: September 26, 2012 8:09 AM

  To: Lex Edwards

  Good morning to you, Mr. Edwards,

  I got my beauty sleep. Isn’t that what every woman aims for?

  My work schedule is chaotic today. I will have to pull an all-nighter since I had some unscheduled interruptions yesterday.

  Charlotte Mason

  * * *

  From: Lex Edwards

  Subject: Janet’s Lyrics

  Sent: September 26, 2012 8:13 AM

  To: Charlotte Mason

  You know how to contact me.

  Anytime, anyplace, baby.

  Lex Edwards

  * * *

  I sat there in shock. It was one of my favorite songs, the lyrics of the song playing in my head.

  “Charlie… Earth to Charlie!” Eric broke me from my Lex porno fantasy. I had no doubt I was missing the sanity gene. The apple was being dangled in front of me and I was devouring every bite. I seriously needed to snap out of it.

  “Sorry, Eric, let’s start.”

  “Should we start by discussing why it smells like raw animalistic sex in your office?”

  “What?! Have you been watching Brokeback Mountain again?”

  “No…although I do believe I now have an unhealthy obsession with Andrew McCarthy.”

  “Um, what? How is that even possible? You were born in like, what…?” I counted my fingers trying to figure out what year he was born.

  “Ninety-one, Charlie, sheesh. Anyway, they played the movie Pretty in Pink and let me tell you, I don’t know at what point they ever thought that dress was prom-worthy. I have tea towels that look better than that.”

  “The fact that you’re a Pretty in Pink virgin should have been raised a long time ago. It’s like THE movie of all movies. Not seeing it is like not knowing Madonna sings Material Girl and I’d like to also point out your tea towels are purchased from the same place the Queen buys them from—thanks to your mother.”

  “Fine, so shoot me. Less about tea towels and back to your bang-bang on the desk.”

  “Sorry, E, subject closed. We have a brief to work on.”

  “You’re such a party pooper, Charlie.”

  “Yeah, preach it to the world with your hundred-dollar royal tea towels.”

  We briefed for an hour before Eric left my office. The first few appointments were nothing out of the ordinary until I heard a knock on my door. “Come in,” I answered.

  “Charlie, there is someone for here for you.” Eric glanced at me nervously.

  Oh fuck, please don’t tell me it’s Lex. There was no way I could resist him and I wasn’t comfortable fucking him in broad daylight with the whole office present.

  “Who is it?” I asked nervously.

  “Mrs. Benson,” he replied.

  “I don’t know who that is but fine, let her in.” He left the room and returned a few moments later.

  “Hello, Charlie,” she spoke politely.

  I turned to face her. “Samantha?” In my head all I heard was the imperial march from Star Wars, and she was Darth Vader. The realization that she was in my office felt surreal. A week ago I hadn’t seen Lex for seven years. Not only had I fucked him, now I was standing here in my office with his ex-wife.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t arrange a meeting. Can we talk?” she asked.

  I motioned for her to sit down. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  “I want to apologize.” Huh? Shouldn’t I be the one apologizing for ruining her marriage? “Charlie, I’m sorry. The whole thing with Alex—” She looked down at her hands as she spoke. “I knew well before the pregnancy that he loved you. I could see the way he looked at you. I made mistakes, so many, but the one thing I do not regret is my baby girl.” She broke down, sobbing into her hands. It caught me by surprise. I handed her a box of tissues.

  “I’m sorry too, Samantha. He was yours. I was young and stupid and shouldn’t have let it get that far.” I couldn’t believe the words as they tumbled out.

  “I know life would have b
een different for you if I had just let you be together.”

  “You made vows to each other. I had no right—”

  She held out her arms, interrupting me. I leaned in and hugged her. “I hope you can forgive me.” Like an old friend she whispered in my ear, “Charlie, his heart never belonged to me, it always belonged to you, and it still does. Don’t let your stubbornness get in the way of true love.” She pulled away with a smile on her face and glassy eyes, then walked out of my office.

  I was left dumbfounded; I knew what I needed right now. I grabbed the phone and dialed, letting it ring loud on speaker. “Adriana, it’s me.”

  “Hey girl, what’s up?”

  “I need a favor from you. A really big favor.” I couldn’t believe what I was asking of Adriana but I wanted him to know he didn’t hold all the cards. I had a few tricks of my own. It was a wicked game we were playing, but I knew we were beyond being able to stop. So now, Mr. Edwards, hold on. It’s going to be a long ride.

  Chapter 18

  Lex

  There was no doubt that this had literally been the day from hell. I knew the consequences of not attending that meeting but being here with Charlotte had definitely been worth it. It was three in the afternoon the following day and I had just gotten off my final conference call, fourth in a row to be exact. Kate sat with me, letting out a breath when the call ended.

  “Mr. Edwards, I know it’s none of my business but may I ask what called you to New York so urgently?”