by Kat T. Masen
Tilting my head to the side, I kissed his beautiful lips. Could I have him forever? Could this finally be it for us, the happily ever after we both were so desperate for? I knew I held the cards, this was ultimately my decision. I needed to place all my trust in him.
“Marry me, Charlotte.”
Stunned, I looked at him, his face deadly serious and maybe my clouded head was imagining things. He couldn’t have just asked me to marry him. Could he? “Lex um…what did you just say?”
“I said marry me, Charlotte. Tonight, here, now.”
“But…we can’t just get married…are you crazy?”
“I’ve never been this sane in my life,” he answered calmly.
“It’s not even possible. I mean, even if we wanted to.”
“Nothing is impossible.” He threw me the helmet and motioned for me to put it on. Jumping on the bike he started the engine. He took out his cell and typed something really fast. I had no idea what he was doing; it wasn’t like we were in Vegas!
We drove to town as I clutched onto him in a slight panic. Suddenly he stopped in front of a building. He jumped off and told me to wait by the bike. As I waited, I could feel the panic rising and the uncertainty of the situation making me start to sweat…a lot.
Trust him, Charlie. Go ahead and trust him. The voices in my head rang.
He walked down the path and knocked on the door of the fancy house. A man answered in his robe, taken aback by Lex standing on his porch. He talked and I couldn’t make out a single word. The man held his hand up almost like he was refusing to hear something until they both stopped and the man closed the door. Lex continued to wait on the porch, turning around to smile back at me, almost like the smile was saying a thousand words which I needed to hear right now to ease the trepidation. The door opened again and the man pointed to something out back. He closed the door again and Lex came running to where I stood.
“Now will you tell me what’s going on?” I asked.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards the house except we turned the corner, following the rose bushes till we found ourselves standing in the backyard, a few feet away from a gazebo where the man stood and an older lady stood beside him.
“Charlotte, marry me, here, now.”
“Lex, come on. You are joking, right?”
“Marry me, Charlotte.” He repeated the words. I looked at the man and woman waiting. Without thinking I pulled Lex’s hand towards them until we stood under the gazebo. I turned to look at the man, Lex giving him a nod before he began to speak.
“We are gathered here today…” He continued speaking but I stood there dumfounded, unable to comprehend this moment. What the fuck was happening? Is this for real?
“Alexander Matthew Edwards, do you take Charlotte Olivia Mason to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold till death do you part?” the man asked.
“I do.”
The lady handed him a gold band and slowly he slid it on my finger. It was slightly tight but he still managed to get it on. How on Earth did he get rings in five minutes?
“Charlotte Olivia Mason, do you take Alexander Matthew Edwards to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold until death do you part?”
Holy shit! Someone pinch me now.
“I do,” I blurted out. “I really do,” I sighed, and at that moment I was peaceful and the most content I had felt…ever. The lady handed me another gold band, my fingers trembling as I slid the ring onto Lex’s finger.
“By the authority vested in me by the state of New York, I now declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Lex inched closer, his nose grazing mine gently before he parted his lips and tenderly kissed mine. Soft yet urgent, desperate yet at ease under the gazebo as I barely managed to contain myself, waiting for him to wake me up and tell me this was a dream. The most beautiful dream where I just took the biggest leap of faith known to mankind.
“Are we married?” I asked with my voice quivering.
“You better believe it, Mrs. Edwards.”
…
I climbed into his bed that night, and for the first time, he held onto me, never letting me go. We had never officially slept together and this was to new beginnings. A new life for us and we were married! The adrenalin refusing to wear off, Lex Edwards was my husband. I was married.
As the sun rose in the morning I woke up with Lex wrapped around my body. It was the most wonderful sleep I had ever had, and I knew for now the demons had been set free. We were far from perfect and there was still so much to overcome but it was about taking baby steps. Right. Because getting married on a whim was taking baby steps! I laid there for a while, smiling at how happy he made me. Every part of me knew there was no one else who could make me feel so secure, so content, and so whole. I snuggled into him, not wanting to let go of this perfect man who was now mine, my husband. I watched him sleep so peacefully, his eyelids fluttering every so often. His perfect jaw, his perfect lips, his uncontrollable hair—everything about him made me smile. So much that my cheeks started to actually hurt.
Reaching over to the nightstand I grabbed my cell to see what time it was, seven in the morning, but the text sitting on the main screen caught me off guard. It was a link, sent directly to me. I hadn’t recognized the number and it looked like a spam link but it was the title that piqued my interest.
Billionaire Playboy finally settling down with Heiress to Preston Enterprises
I normally ignore any tabloid trash sent to me but I clicked on the link and was taken directly to the article that was on page six in the New York Times.
In a move that shocked the business world, Entrepreneur and Billionaire Playboy Lex Edwards was seen last week leaving a hotel room while being intimate with Heiress to the Preston Enterprises group, Victoria Preston. A source close to the couple say that they have been close for a while but due to business conflicts the relationship was not made public. Ms. Preston’s publicist declined any comments however Founder of Preston Enterprises Clive Preston said that Lex was like a son to him and any news of a union between the two was great for him as well as the two companies. Photos have been snapped of them on intimate dinners in New York and London. Ms. Preston was also caught leaving his apartment dressed casually in the early hours of the morning. The photo caught of them being intimate at a business function last Saturday was enough to confirm the couple are definitely on.
I clicked on the pictures and zoomed in. It was him. My heart stopped, clutching my chest I was unable to breathe. I shook my head relentlessly. I was in shock, I could barely move and my brain was trying to compute what I read. The pictures didn’t lie, they were definitely being intimate, his hand was stroking her cheek. You didn’t do that with business associates. Every photo in that article was in fact of them being intimate all over the FUCKING COUNTRY!
I untangled myself from him quietly tiptoeing across the room. As I was about to exit, I caught his cell by the nightstand. I tried to ignore it but I needed fucking answers. I was so fucking angry at myself for trusting him again. Quickly grabbing it I saw the message on the screen. It was in fact from Victoria Preston.
Looks like we made page six, baby. Might as well come out now.
I placed the cell back and bolted out of the room. I was ready to break down and I needed to scream my lungs out, punch something, do something to let out the pain. The nausea washed over me. Covering my mouth I ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet. My body was shaking, that familiar feeling, DEJA FUCKING VU. I needed to get out of here…and fast, panicking as I didn’t want to face him. Scared that he would try to convince me it was all a lie when the damage was done. He’d broken me once again.
Rocky was the only one sitting at the dining table. He had the paper wide open but shut it closed when he saw me.
“Charlie, do you wanna… Look I saw.”
“Rocky, I need you to do me a favor. I’m packing my bags right now and taking the bike. I don’t care
how just make sure someone drives my car back, park it in your garage. I need to get of here right now. Please, just do this for me.”
He nodded and I quickly bolted back to my room shoving everything in my bag. I dumped it in the back of the car and ran over to my bike. Quickly putting my helmet on, I drove off faster than I ever had before, the noise of the engine echoing through the quiet streets.
I hated myself so much right now. Why the hell did I ever trust him? He couldn’t just be with me; he always had to have his way. Someone else on the side and I was so sick of being that other person. He was nothing but a fucking liar, a player and I was so so so stupid for believing his lies…again, for believing him when he said he loved me. This anger had taken over, poisoning every positive thought I had of him, of us. No one could understand the outrage I felt right now. How much I hated him for making me love him again. That was the thing that hurt the most. It wasn’t about loving him again, it was about awakening the love that never disappeared. Fate has now reared its fucking ugly head and screwed all this shit up. This sick cruel twisted game that was forced upon me and drained me of all my beliefs, all my hopes, telling me that maybe he was my soul-mate and we were meant to live happily ever after.
By the time I reached my building my cell had twenty-five missed calls and a dozen texts. I couldn’t bring myself to read the texts. Throwing the cell against the wall I watched it smash to pieces as I screamed in the basement letting out my frustration. I leaned against the wall and there on the hard concrete floor I broke down, my tears spilling out, the sobs leaving my chest and the pain spread all over my body. My throat was dry, unable to form any words. I had to hide, run away from all this madness. I crawled over to where my cell laid broken on the ground. I could barely make out the numbers as my vision was clouded but I texted his cell and patiently I waited.
Time was lost, my surroundings unfamiliar, but the voice… The words echoed, I couldn’t understand what was going on. The faint sight in front of me, what was happening? The warm arms I felt around me. This was safe. I had nothing to fear.
“Charlie… Charlie… Charlie! Please look at me!” The voice was panicked. I smiled as I saw his face, now able to focus.
“You came,” I said, my voice croaking as I said the words.
“Of course I did. Please look at me. What happened?”
“I need…to…get…out…of…here,” I sobbed.
He carried me in his arms and I held on tight.
“Take me somewhere, anywhere but here, anywhere but home. Take away this pain, please. Make it go away. Please, I don’t want to go back there… I can’t go back to that awful place,” I screamed.
“Sshh. I’ll take you away from here. Make you forget for a moment that whatever has made you like this, will be banished,” he whispered calmly in my ear.
The numbing started, and I knew the protocol. This was the second step of the coping mechanism. Third would be ignorance, and fourth would be the bitterness shown in the light of day. The sweet revenge accompanied by hurtful words that one day would be said, followed by regret.
Her words from long ago kept replaying like a broken record and somehow I had let history repeat itself. I let the Dark Angel strip me bare of everything I had fought so hard to rebuild. My heart was absolutely broken beyond repair.
He is the most beautiful man you will ever see. His soul will capture you, but don’t be fooled, Mi Corazon. He will use all his powers to draw you in when there is nothing left to do but take the one thing you’ve been holding onto.
When I was eighteen I wasn’t wise or mature enough to know that love was the most powerful thing in the universe, and so I allowed myself to accept it in all its glory. I learned the hard way that it was also the path to the darkest place that existed. Now at twenty-five I believed I had it all figured out. Yes, love was the most powerful thing, I accepted that, but this time I was armed and I was convinced that I knew which path was the road to happiness, my happily ever after.
This was no longer the fairy tale my momma read to me, this was the sequel. The story of the Dark Angel who rode back into my sunset disguised as Prince Charming, only this time my armor was shattered, my will to fight obliterated. The phoenix bird that brought back that stolen soul of mine laid helpless before me, clipped of its wings, unable to soar, trapped in a cage of my mistakes. The mistake of letting myself love him again, love the man who broke my heart…twice.
Being laid on a warm bed was that last I remember about that day, October 12th of 2005. The day when the darkness fell upon me and without any light, I was unable to see, my mind demented by the shadows that lurked, and like a little frightened girl I prayed that someone would find me, hold my hand, pull me out of this dark abyss and lead me back into the light.
SNEAK PEEK
From “Into the Light: Book 2 of The Dark Angel Series”
The restaurant was busy. Waiters scurried about carrying exotic dishes, the aroma enticing me. It made me realize how much I missed food. I had barely eaten in the past week. What’s fucking new, I thought. Mr. Daniels & Mr. Beam had become my buds lately. I made my way to the concierge as Kate followed.
“Reservation under Edwards.”
We followed the head waiter to where our table was located. The noise was a little overbearing, just your typical Saturday clientele. I pulled my blackberry out checking my messages as I followed him through the crowd, lifting my head for a moment as the image caught my eye and halted me on the spot. Kate was also checking her blackberry, running straight into the back of me.
“I’m so sorry, sir. I was checking my messa…” Her voice trailed off.
She sat there, her body leaning into him. Her face looked slightly different, perhaps tired. There was no smile, no spark in her eyes, no glow to her skin. She looked gaunt. Her light had gone out. Like I was frozen on the spot I stared, my name being called but it sounded so distant. The bastard leaned in further, gently reaching for her hand and entwining his fingers with hers. He cupped her chin, and she smiled slightly which prompted him to lean in further to steal what was mine. I don’t know how I moved, but I was standing there in front of them and Charlotte was shocked, the look of shock quickly turned into anger. The closer I was the more I could see the dark circles around her eyes, the way her cheekbones looked more prominent. If this had been hell for her then why was she here with him?
“Charlie?” Kate gasped before I could get a word in.
“Kate?” Charlotte responded, equally in shock.
What the fuck was going on and how on Earth did they know each other? The Louboutins flashed before me. It was her. It was her last night in Kate’s suite. It was her that Kate always talked about, her friend in New York with the fucked-up love life.
“I don’t even deserve an explanation? You fucking run to him the second things get a little tough with us?” I yelled.
“Are you kidding me, Lex? A little tough, is that what you think this has been?” She laughed while gesticulating with her hands.
“Well I wouldn’t know, you won’t fucking talk to me!” I clenched my fists as her laughter slapped me in my ears. Did she honestly think this was one big fucking joke? My body stiffened, unable to compose myself. I was barely holding on. The fury and rage was consuming me. I was a time bomb ready to go off at any moment.
“I’m busy here, Lex, as you can probably see. Perhaps we’ll discuss this another time.” Her voice was calm as she spoke the words, her eyes directly on mine not flinching for one moment.
“Okay Edwards, she told you to leave.” Julian stood up. Oh, so he finally found his balls. Yeah, soon you’ll be fucking choking on them for trying to steal my girl.
The room felt stifling hot, my blood was pumping, there was nothing left to do but the obvious. I swung my arm punching him right in the face as he stood there before me trying to take my world away from me. If he didn’t exist she would have come back to me, that murderous thought flashing before me. The rage was overpowering as I went to sw
ing at him again, the blood bouncing off his face as he screamed my name yelling at me, the voices around me in a panic. The image of Charlotte as she pulled Julian back caressing his face only added to the violent behavior that had consumed me. Kate was calling my name, pulling my arm back, begging me to stop. I turned to face her but as soon as she had my attention she released a breath
“Mr. Edwards, don’t do this. You will regret this and lose her forever.”
Was that true? If there was anyone who knew how Charlotte really felt it would be Kate, her new confidant. The adrenalin was still running through me. I turned to face Charlotte ready to apologize for my behavior. I really had no option, I had to man the fuck up.
“Lose me forever? Too fucking late, Lex. You lost me a long time ago. I was just stupid enough to think it was repairable,” she shot back.
The apology was devoured now by rage which again was rearing its ugly head, the hurt and pain of her words stabbing me in the heart. I needed to let it out, how I really felt. But people watched, waiting for my reaction. This wasn’t some soap opera. This was our life and I didn’t want them to hear the words I was just about to speak.
“¿Por qué no puede usted ver cuánto Te amo? Que cada momento en el que no está conmigo, me muero un poco todos los días. Este error no era mío, que quería mi confianza? así que tal si gana la mía también. No todo es culpa, mía Charlotte. Usted quiere hacerme daño por lo que te hice, Charlotte? Bueno, usted ha tenido éxito. Para citar a usted, he terminado.”
It was the only way I could say how I really felt, what was deep inside eating away at me. It wasn’t my fault. Call me arrogant, call me whatever the fuck you want. I knew when I fucked up but this wasn’t one of those times. I lost my trust in her. I no longer wanted to play this sick twisted game. I never gave up but I also didn’t settle for second place. If only she didn’t run to him, if only he wasn’t touching her, if only I didn’t see a spark in her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her.
