Hard Rock Crush

by Athena Wright

  "I'm sure she won't," Gael reassured me. "She's a professional."

  I hoped my brother was right.

  It was only a few minutes later when a young woman rapped her knuckles on the door and poked her head in. I instantly recognized her. I’d met Emily once before, earlier in her journalism career. She was smartly dressed in a blouse and knee-length pencil skirt. She held a notebook in one hand and what looked to be a small digital recorder in the other.

  Emily scanned the room. When her eyes landed on me she gave me a bright smile.

  "Cerise," she said, cheerfully. "It's great to see you again."

  I returned her smile, although the corners of my lips twitched nervously. Just because she looked friendly didn't mean she wouldn't ask hard-hitting questions.

  Emily did the rounds, shaking hands with the other guys and introducing herself. When she got to Nathan, he flashed her his most winning smile, and opened his mouth, ready to spout some clichéd come on, but she easily side-stepped him to greet Seth and Julian.

  When she got to Liam, she blinked in surprise.

  "Are you a new member of the band?" she asked. "I thought there were only five of you."

  She must have done her homework on Cherry Lips. We hadn't made a formal announcement to the public about Liam’s addition to the band for the tour.

  "I'm Liam Knight," he said, shaking her hand firmly. "I'm going to be helping out the band as a session guitarist for their upcoming tour."

  Emily immediately took out her notebook and scribbled something down.

  "Do you want this interview to only be about the original five or will Liam be joining us as well?" she asked.

  I looked to my brother. We hadn't discussed whether or not Liam would take part in the interview. It hadn't occurred to me that he wouldn't. Although he'd only just been brought onboard, it somehow felt like he'd been with us forever. Liam fit in so well even after such a short amount of time.

  The more I thought about it, the more disconcerting the thought became.

  Liam had already wormed himself into my every thought. I didn't know if I was comfortable with him also inserting himself into the band like this, too.

  My brother shot me a look and shrugged.

  "I'm okay with it," Gael said. "Our fans are going to notice there’s a new guy onstage when we start touring. We might as well introduce them to Liam beforehand."

  "It’ll help us, too," Nathan said. "Liam has his own flock of fans from his old days with Forever Night. If we can poach a few of them over to our side, I say we go for it."

  "So you're using me for my fame and not my talent, is that it?" Liam asked.

  Nathan and Liam grinned at each other — another sign of the easy camaraderie that had developed between him and the guys. I was the only one who acted out of sorts whenever Liam was around.

  "As long as you’re cool with it?" Liam asked me.

  "It’s fine."

  Like almost everything else when it came to Liam, I didn't really have a reason to say no, aside from the fact that being around him perpetually knocked me off balance.

  Emily perched on the arm of a sofa and crossed her legs with a straight back. Her expression turned serious as she flicked on the tape recorder.

  "First," she said, "Can we talk about some of your musical influences?"

  "I've always been a big fan of the band I'll Never Say," I said. "I've always looked up to their female lead singer."

  "I've never heard of them," Emily said.

  "They’re a bit more obscure," I told her. "And they broke up a few years ago. When I heard that they were going their separate ways, I think I moped in my bedroom for a week straight."

  "And what about you?" Emily asked the others. "What bands do you guys look up to?"

  "You can never go wrong with the big names," Gael said. "Metallica, AC/DC, The Stones."

  "Us too," Seth nodded. "Julian’s the one who introduced me to rock music, and he’s a big fan of the classics."

  Emily nodded and jotted down some notes.

  "Next question. Can one of you explain the meaning behind the name Cherry Lips?"

  I tensed up. I’d been asked this before, and I had a lie ready to go, but this time was different. Liam was in the room. He would know immediately I was making it up. Would he call me on it?

  The guys looked at me expectantly. I was always the one who answered this question. I felt Liam's eyes on burning into me.

  "My name means cherry in French," I said. "And, as the lead singer, I thought using the word lips was an appropriate choice."

  That was the easy answer of course, but Emily just nodded and made another mark on her paper. Liam shifted in his seat with an amused smile but he didn't say anything out loud. He was happy to let the fib go unchallenged. I continued with my explanation.

  "Maybe it's kind of a narcissistic thing to do, naming your band after yourself. But I’m not the first artist to do it. I'm sure you can tell I sort of have a theme going." I gestured to my hair with fingers tipped in cherry-red nail polish.

  "I had noticed you seem to like that color," Emily laughed. With her curiosity satisfied, she turned the conversation to another topic.

  "Cerise," Emily said, turning to me with a determined look. "I want to ask you about something more serious."

  My shoulders hunched up to my ears before I forced them to relax. I didn't want to seem on edge. I just had to hope she wasn't going to bring up those awful rumors. If she did, I didn't know if I’d be able to keep calm enough not to embarrass myself.

  "Go ahead," I told her.

  She leaned forward, as if getting closer to me physically would help her get closer to me in a more personal way.

  "Can we touch on what it's like to be a woman in the music industry?" she asked. "I'm sure there are challenges you face that your band members don't, especially considering you’re in the rock genre."

  That wasn’t a bad question to ask. She wasn't bringing up the gossip directly, but she was giving me a way to address the hardships that came with my career choice.

  "It's tough," I said. "Truthfully, you're right when you say I have to deal with a lot of stuff my brother and the other guys don't. It's hard to be taken seriously. People always underestimate you, patronize you. You have to work twice as hard at everything. The industry is still male dominated, and it can be really tough as a woman to break into it. That being said," I continued, "there are a lot of female musicians who have come before me who have broken through that glass ceiling. They’ve paved the way for other girls like me to follow in their footsteps, and I'm eternally grateful for that."

  Emily smiled at me and nodded emphatically. "I totally get what you mean," she said. "I experienced something similar as an independent journalist."

  The interview continued as Emily quizzed us on the meanings behind our lyrics, the process we went through to write songs, and other questions that had to do with the techniques and nitty-gritty details of our work. There were no mentions of gossip or rumors. She was completely professional, just as Gael had promised me she would be.

  And then she said something that made my stomach drop.

  "Can you tell me a bit about your love lives?"

  12

  My stomach roiled at Emily's words. Disappointment and not a bit of disgust swept through me. Is that all anyone cared about? Who everyone was sleeping with? It was supposed to be about the music, not about sleazy gossip.

  Liam shifted on the sofa and eyed me carefully. I bit my tongue to keep my fit of pique under control. I didn't want to cause an outburst.

  But then Emily followed up with a second question and my raised hackles began to lower.

  "It must be hard for your loved ones," she said. "Everything is changing so fast. You're getting media attention, you're going to be on tour."

  My tensed muscles eased. So it wasn't about tawdry rumors. It was about something deeper. I could understand where she was coming from with a question like that.

  "I can
jump in and answer," Gael said. "I'm in a serious, committed relationship. And I have to admit it's hard sometimes. But my girlfriend knew what I was from the start."

  "And what would that be?" Emily asked with a teasing tone, as if she knew exactly what answer she was going to get.

  "A rock star god, that's what." My brother gave a cheeky grin. "And Jessie wasn't impressed by that one bit, let me tell you."

  Emily looked to Nathan expectantly. "And you?"

  A slow, lazy smile crept across his lips. "I'm still just looking for that one special girl," he drawled.

  I nearly snorted. If by looking, Nate meant sleeping his way across the city, then he sure was.

  "Liam, as the newest member of the group, you've been pretty quiet," Emily said. "Can I ask why you've joined as a session guitarist? I'm sure your fans would love to see you form another band."

  Liam's lips pressed together. "I'm just looking for something temporary right now."

  "Any thoughts about starting your own after this? Or maybe even joining Cherry Lips full time?"

  Liam's face turned pained. "No," he said shortly. "No plans for that."

  Emily blinked, taken aback at his curt tone. I was a bit taken aback as well. Liam hadn't shown any interest in joining the band, but I hadn't thought he'd be so completely against the idea.

  She changed tracks. "And do you have a special someone waiting at home for you?"

  "Not in that sense," Liam replied, leaning back into his chair. "But there's this girl I’ve been pursuing. I think she's pretty amazing but she keep shutting me down."

  My previously relaxed shoulders bunched up.

  "That must be different for you," Emily laughed. "I'm sure it's usually the opposite, right?"

  "I'm not used to being shot down so quickly and with such force," Liam said. "But she's in the music industry, so I hope we can continue working together closely."

  It was like he wanted people to realize he was talking about me. I narrowed my eyes at Liam but he didn’t glance my way.

  “She sounds feisty,” Emily said.

  I fought the urge to recoil. Liam just laughed.

  “That’s a good word to describe her. But she's also beyond talented. Hard working. She's extraordinary, really." His grin faded into a smile as his gaze went soft. “I actually ran into her a couple of times but I suppose the timing wasn’t right. We just recently reconnected. I’m hoping this time both of us stick around longer. Or at least long enough to convince her to give me a shot."

  “I’m sure there are plenty of girls out there who wouldn’t mind giving Liam Knight a chance to woo her,” Emily said.

  “None of them are her,” he said.

  If Emily were any less professional, I would have thought she’d faint into a swoon at Liam’s declaration.

  If I were any less professional, I might have done the same. Liam Knight knew how to lay on the charm.

  But the irritation rising in my chest shoved away any thoughts of swooning or wooing. Instead, all I felt was the urge to be sick.

  I couldn’t understand what the hell Liam was thinking. Couldn’t he see how people might put two and two together and figure out he was talking about me? There was no way he could think I’d be okay with that.

  “Thanks guys, I think that’s all I need.” Emily got up and did the rounds again, shaking everyone’s hand. When she got to me, she cracked a small smile.

  “Thank you for your candid responses,” she said. “Would you like me to send you the final draft before it’s published? Just to make sure I represent your words correctly?"

  “I’d like that, thank you.” She probably wouldn’t let me veto anything, but at least I’d get a heads up if she were going to release something that would give me heart palpitations.

  The minute she left, I followed, intending to get a drink. I needed to get away from Liam before I said something I'd regret.

  But of course, I soon heard the footsteps of him following me out the door. I tried to ignore him, but the steps got closer and closer, until I knew he was right behind me. I could practically feel the heat radiating off him.

  I whirled around. We were nose to nose. I almost stepped to the side, but something inside me refused to back down. "I'm sorry, did you need something?"

  "You running again?" he asked.

  "I'm getting a bottle of water."

  "Why are you upset?"

  "Why do you think?"

  He tilted his head at me. "Nothing I said was untrue."

  "That's the point." I inhaled deeply, ready to rail at him. I slowly let it out, forcing myself to relax. I was going to have this conversation, calm and collected. "I don't want you insinuating there's something between us."

  "I didn't." He quirked a smile. "I insinuated there's nothing between me and the girl I'm pursuing because she keeps rejecting me."

  "And why do you think that is?" I asked. "Could it be because the last thing I need is for people to start speculating about who I'm dating? Could it be because the last thing I want is for people to shove me into that shallow celebrity box that makes everyone forget about the music and instead turns me into some sort of sex symbol as if the only thing that matters is how many guys I'm fucking?"

  I had to pause as I ran out of breath. So much for calm.

  "Is that really what you think is going to happen?" he asked.

  "Yes," I said firmly. "And you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's the Taylor Swift effect. She's in the news all the time not because of her latest album, but because she's broken another guy's heart. No one cares about the true meaning of her lyrics; they just try to decipher which ex-boyfriend she's singing about. You think I want that for myself?"

  Liam's eyebrows drew down into a frown. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think of it like that."

  "Of course you didn't. You're a guy. You don't have to think about these things."

  "I was just playing around in the interview. I didn't mean to make things harder on you. I'm sorry," he said again.

  The irritation tingling through me began to fade. "Apology accepted."

  "But I meant what I said," he continued. "I really do think you're extraordinary. And talented. And hard working."

  He had said all that, hadn't he? I'd been so upset at the rest of it, I'd almost forgotten he'd said those words. A faint glow began to take hold in my chest.

  "You're amazing," he repeated quietly. "There's something different about you. You've got this fire inside you. This drive. You're going to achieve incredible things."

  Liam put a finger on the tip of my chin, tilting my head up. I met his eyes.

  "You wonder why I keep pursuing you even though you always shut me down?" he asked. "It's because of that fire. That radiance. You're going to burn like the sun. And I want to catch one of those rays. I want to feel that warmth, even if it's just for a minute."

  My breath hitched in my throat.

  "You're going to explode like a supernova, Cerise," he said. "And I want to be there to see it."

  13

  I stared at Liam, unblinking, disbelieving. I searched his eyes for any hint of mockery or teasing.

  But they were open, sincere.

  A sense of wonder ballooned in my chest. Liam really did think all those things about me.

  My fingers began to tremble ever so slightly. I pressed my palms against the sides of my hips.

  "That's some impressive symbolism," I said, pretending to smooth down my skirt.

  Liam raised an eyebrow, as if confused by statement.

  "Sun. Supernova. Rock star." I said the words slowly.

  "I wasn't trying to make a pun." He cracked a smile. "You're amazing, and soon the whole world is going to know it."

  "You're the one who's amazing." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. A flush crept up my neck and onto my cheeks. "I mean, you're an amazing guitar player, and a great singer. Of course, you know that already."

  "I do know that." He examined me closely. "B
ut that's not what you meant, is it?"

  Flustered, I looked away.

  Liam couldn't have known how much he had motivated me. He couldn't have known how much I'd needed to hear his words back then.

  He couldn't have known how important he was to me.

  "Why don't you tell me what you really meant?" he asked softly.

  "I didn't mean anything," I said quickly. "Just what I said. You're good at what you do."

  "I think there's more to it than that." His probing eyes pinned me down, like he was trying to dissect me. Like he was trying to figure me out.

  "What you said before. In that interview. About the name of your band."

  My heartbeat spiked. "What about it?"

  "You lied to that journalist when she asked you how you came up with Cherry Lips."

  "No I didn't," I said immediately. "I named the band after myself."

  "You named the band after my nickname for you."

  Pulse racing, I deflected. "So what if I did? It's catchy."

  "Why did you lie about it in the interview?" he persisted.

  "Because—"

  Because you moved me.

  Because you inspired me.

  "Tell me why," he asked again.

  "Because you saved me."

  The words came out quiet. Quiet, but not weak. Not timid. I forced myself to meet his gaze head on. His eyes were wide, perplexed. I don't know what he had been expecting me to say, but it wasn't that.

  "I had almost given up on singing," I said honestly. "I had almost given up on music altogether. But what you said…" I trailed off, trying to remember his exact words. "You asked when I felt the most powerful, like I could take on anything."

  "You said it was when you sang." Liam's eyes went soft and unfocused, as if searching his own distant memories. "Then you laughed and said life wasn't a musical."

  I placed my hand over my heart. It was beating at a wild pace. "You told me to always be singing in here."

  Liam placed his hand over mine. His large palm pressed into the back of my hand. The tips of his fingers brushed the skin of my collarbone. The speed of my pounding heart was alarming.

  "Why were you about to give up on music?" he asked. "If you loved singing so much, why stop?"