The Iron Cursed

by J. M. Briggs

  There were faces. They appeared only in brief glimpses as the fog wafted and cleared, but then they were gone. People were laughing around her, their voices echoing. Someone touched her shoulder and kissed her neck. She spun around, but there was no one there. A shiver consumed her body as her heart pounded. Turning in a circle, Alex tried to find something solid and constant, but there was nothing. It was a blur of twisting fog. She saw smiles, bright happy eyes, and glimpses of hair. Nothing stayed still long enough for her to see the details properly. There was a flicker of fear, but another warm laugh drove it away.

  Stepping forward, Alex held her hands out in front of her. The faces faded away into mist. It surrounded her, drifting lazily through the air. She looked down nervously. Mist was thick around her feet, blocking any sign of a floor or void. Alex inhaled sharply, unsure if she was relieved by that or not. Everything was muted, from sounds to the physical sensations.

  Walking in the mist, Alex held out a hand and watched the air brush over her fingertips. There was no chill to it and she only barely felt a sensation of the coolness wash over her flesh. Shifting her hand, Alex waved at the mist and watched it part, but it revealed nothing new. Just more of the expanse. This was a dream: it might go on forever, but Alex started walking again. There was no sound from her footfalls, not even a muffled one. Nothing to indicate she was really moving. Opening her mouth, Alex tried to call out, but the air seemed too heavy as she breathed it in.

  Then something shifted in front of her. Alex froze in place, her body swaying as the mist closed in around her. Raising a hand, she waved it around in an attempt to see something. More voices were echoing around her. Someone called the name Arto. Her eyes searched the mist, but she couldn’t see anything. Another voice called Gottfried. Then the voices rose in a cacophony of names and noise so Alex could no longer tell any of them apart.

  The mist swept together into a thick cloud. Before Alex could shift back a figure emerged and started moving towards her. She was pretty with large eyes, a broad nose, and a welcoming smile. Her clothing was vaguely familiar and made of woven red cloth, but Alex couldn’t place the time period for the life of her. The figure’s skin was a deep olive tone that made the golden bangles she wore stand out. Something about her made Alex’s stomach drop.

  “Who are you?” Alex asked. Her voice echoed in the mist.

  The woman just laughed at her. Leaning forward, she caught Alex’s chin and kissed her hard on the mouth. Alex’s eyes widened, but her body froze. A laugh built up in her chest and the kiss tugged at her memory. With a smile, the woman stepped away and ran one finger down her cheek. Then the woman vanished, turning back into mist. Shaking her head, Alex licked her lips only to sputter at her own action and turned around frantically. There was no sign of the woman, but the fog was gathering once more.

  Now an older woman with long silver hair in a braid over her shoulder stepped forth but didn’t stop. Alex moved out of her way and heard her humming softly as she passed. She said nothing, but just glanced at Alex and offered her a toothless smile. The woman’s eyes wrinkled up and she laughed before the fog swooped in around her. Then she too was gone.

  Farther away was a tall man with broad shoulders and a thick brown beard with hints of gray and beads woven into it. He wore a rough tunic and a long cloak clasped at the shoulder. Sad eyes looked towards her for a moment before he stepped into the mist once more. As soon as he was gone another figure emerged. This one was younger with blond hair and dressed in modern if slightly old-fashioned clothes. Alex tensed as she realized he was in a uniform with a Nazi band around his arm. But then he too was gone without even a glance her way.

  This time it was a pair of girls who came running out of the mist. They had darker skin and shining black hair pulled back in braids. Alex stepped forward, her right hand coming up to reach for them, but they didn’t see her. As quickly as they’d appeared they vanished back into the mists.

  Now there were more figures moving around her. Some said a few words before fading away, some smiled and others never even looked at her. There were men and women, children and the elderly in a mix of ethnicities. Sometimes their clothes gave her clues, but others were unknowable. They all moved past her and faded back into the fog. Alex turned and tried to look at all of them.

  Her whole body froze as she spotted a very familiar face. Gottfried’s wife Ilse walking with a young girl beside her. Air rushed from Alex’s lungs as she recognized the little girl as her-his daughter Elsa. She took a step towards them, but they vanished from sight as another figure moved in front of her. This one looked Asian and was dressed in what looked like a red robe. He offered her a smile and said a name, but it meant nothing to her.

  Alex stopped in place and shook her head. They were too many now. Their faces tugged at memories, but the names wouldn’t come. Names danced on the tip of her tongue but refused to be voiced. Her chest tightened painfully with each new face. Pained whimpers and gasps for air escaped Alex. She wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her eyes, trying to ignore them.

  “Alex,” her mother’s voice called.

  Looking up quickly, Alex held back a sob. Her own parents had appeared only a few feet in front of her. They were staring at each other; her father’s hand on her mother’s cheek and her mother giving him a familiar half smile. Alex tried to call to them, but nothing came out. Tears gathered in her eyes and the tangle in her chest turned icy. Trembling hands reached towards them before Alex could stop herself. They didn’t notice her even as a whimper escaped her.

  “Mommy.” Her voice was weak and cracking, but she could finally make words form. Alex’s eyes drank in her parents. The knot in her chest turned cold and expanded, sending shivers racing down her limbs. “Daddy?”

  This time they turned. Her mom smiled brightly and said her name again. It rolled over the mist and Alex tried to move. Tears were beginning to escape her eyes and trickle over her cheeks. Sniffing, she opened her mouth to speak again, but nothing came out. Her parents were watching her with sad little smiles. Her mom rested her head against her dad’s shoulder.

  Something broke.

  “I’m sorry,” Alex sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I tried to protect you and Spokane and-”

  The other voices were back. From the mist, there were calls of many names: Thor, Arto, Leugio, Lokpal, Gofiben, Cuthbert, Gottfried and others that were too unfamiliar for her to even understand.

  “Shut up!” Alex shouted. Her voice echoed away in the mist but didn’t stop the voices. “Shut up! Not now!”

  Stumbling forward, Alex reached a hand out to her mom. Her dad’s smile remained sad and they said nothing. Alex’s throat closed up, but she managed another step. Around them, the voices were louder than ever. People were calling her. Sorrow, anger, joy and a hundred other emotions were tugging her in different directions. It took all of Alex’s focus to keep her eyes on her parents and not answer another voice. She could feel pulls to each voice and name. Something in her wanted to go to them, but if Alex gave in to them she knew that she’d never find the way back to her parents.

  “Mommy?” She begged her mother with her eyes to say something. “Please… I’m sorry.”

  Then they began to turn to mist. With a scream of terror, Alex leapt forward and tried to grab her mom’s arm, but all she caught was air. It slipped through her fingers and the last image of her mom and dad burned itself into her eyes. The knot slipped. Grief crashed down and Alex’s knees fell out beneath her. A shriek, a sob tore out of her throat. The sound drowned all out all the other voices. It rang through the mist, promising pain to anything that got too close. And as the scream died down, so did the voices.

  She was alone now in the mist, on her knees and defeated. Slowly, it began to lift. There was nothing around her, just an endless black. A faint light surrounded her, but there was nothing else in the void. Alex didn’t care. She didn’t stand or start moving. Instead, she sat down and pulled her knees t
o her chest. Lowering her head down, tears ran down Alex’s cheeks and the shudders consumed her body. She gripped her legs and began to rock. A soft hum escaped her and wafted through the air. Alex didn’t even recognize it as her mom’s lullaby, but she kept humming it.

  A chill swept in, sinking into her skin and down to her bones. The emotions were pulling again and voices began to call once more. Shaking her head, Alex refused to look up. She blocked out the voices as best she could. She would not answer any of them: she would not even acknowledge them. Her chest grew hot and Alex tightened her grip on her legs. Hot, sharp pains radiated from her left leg, and she flinched. The jolts traveled farther and Alex tried to move, but the pain only got worse. The voices were fading away and the chill eased, just a little.

  Opening her eyes, Alex wasn’t surprised to find herself looking at the plain ceiling of her dorm room. She twisted her fingers into the fabric of her sheets and comforter. One hand came up to wipe away the tears rolling down the sides of her face. She bit her lip to keep the sob building up in her chest from escaping. A painful jolt in her leg made her flinch. A cramp. Alex groaned and tried to flex her leg. She was actually grateful for the pain. Inhaling slowly, Alex willed the muscles to relax and gradually it did.

  She still didn’t move. As the pain faded the lingering ache in her chest became stronger. Alex tightened her grip on the comforter as the knot threatened to completely unravel. Her magic gathered in her chest slowly, sluggishly, as if resisting what she wanted it to do. Closing her eyes, Alex focused on the point of pain. That knot of emotions that was tangled up in a mess right below her heart. In a flutter of warm sparks, her magic wrapped itself around the knot, hiding it away from the world. Exhaling slowly, Alex let her whole body relax into the bed. The slightly worn out spring poked into her back and Alex eased her death grip on the linens.

  Licking her lips, Alex told herself to stay calm, but the faces were burned onto the backs of her eyelids. With a groan, she swung her legs out of the bed and sat up. Her feet touched down on the thin carpet of her dorm room and Alex sat still, staring into the darkness as her eyes adjusted. The faint blue glow from her laptop cable illuminated part of her desk, and after a moment Alex stood up and reached over to turn on the lamp.

  Warm yellow light filled the corner and Alex rubbed at her eyes. The faces were finally fading, but something still ached in her chest. Leaning on the edge of her desk, Alex rolled her stiff shoulders and pulled on more of her magic. It coiled tighter around the knot of emotions. Alex rubbed at the middle of her chest through her pajamas top. The ache remained, dulled, but it was still there.

  Picking up her phone, Alex grimaced as she checked the time. It was too early to be up but too late to really think she’d get back to sleep. Outside the sky was dark and there was no sign of anyone on the lit sidewalks. She pulled out her desk chair and sat down. Alex didn’t even bother turning on her computer, but instead just set her hands on the edge of the wooden desk. Looking down at her fingers, she focused on the tiny details of them, and what made them different from the others hands she’d had.

  The most obvious was that she was the only known female Iron Soul incarnation. They still didn’t know why the sudden change after three thousand years, and Alex sometimes wondered if Merlin and Morgana had just missed one. Her fingers were smaller than most men’s would be, but not very delicate, if she was honest. They were modern hands too: they’d benefitted from a lack of hard labor and access to lotion. There was a small scar on her left middle knuckle from a bad scrape when she was seven or eight, but otherwise they were blemish free.

  She turned her hands and flexed her fingers. Arto’s hands had been rough thanks to a life on the move and smithing. Thor’s had been the same way. Gottfried’s hands had been more like hers due to the life of a professor. Alex rubbed her forefinger and thumb together, feeling the brush of the ridges of her fingerprints together. At least those were different in each life.

  Alex reached for her glass of water and took long, greedy gulps. The flush of warmth in her chest had sealed off the last of the chilly ache. Alex looked down at her hands one more time and then turned on her computer. Straightening up in her desk chair, she placed her hand over the mouse and got started on her next essay.

  5

  Another Gateway

  Making a Gate was not how Alex wanted to spend her afternoon. The week so far had been long enough, with everyone who knew about the death of her parents tiptoeing around her, and it wasn’t even over yet. At least it wasn’t high school and most people didn’t have a clue. Gossip just wasn’t as powerful a steamroller on a college campus. Yet the week had still managed to be a long haul of avoiding anything that made her think too much of her parents.

  Even now the knot in her chest tightened and Alex could feel magic pulsing up through her boots to reinforce the magical barrier. Some part of her knew this was dangerous, but the rest didn’t care. It kept the pain away and dimmed the voices. It was all too loud.

  The game trail provided them with something of a route, but the hillside was still steep and the packs of iron on their backs ensured it wasn’t an easy climb. This wasn’t a recreational area and honestly, Alex was more than a little worried about Merlin’s SUV and Aiden’s truck being towed from their places just off the road. There was nothing for it though; this is where those Sídhe had come from, so it was where they had to go.

  Her mind kept jumping around as they hiked. No one was in a talkative mood. Alex wanted to enjoy the scent of the pine and the fresh air, but she just couldn’t. Too much was trying to barge in and make itself heard. She didn’t want to hear any it. Alex grabbed onto a tree as her feet began to slip back. Behind her, Bran asked if she was okay and Alex assured him that she was before moving again. It was slow going, but as they climbed something tugged at her magic.

  She stopped and looked around. Ahead of her, Merlin and Morgana were talking and pointing in different directions.

  “They don’t know where the tunnel is, do they?” Bran asked. “Lovely.”

  “There wasn’t time to scout it out,” Morgana called down to them. “Really Ambrose, judging from the lay of the land, it is this way.” She gestured to the right of the game trail. “That would let them get down the hill without too much effort.”

  “Yes, but the hillside would better fit a tunnel this way,” Merlin replied. “They did need to construct the tunnel first. They wouldn’t know the best place for access to a town or a road.”

  “Actually,” Alex started to say. The tug on her magic was becoming stronger and she found her eyes drawn to the left of the trail. Everyone was looking at her. “I think it might be this way.”

  “There’s a ravine down there,” Merlin said with a slight frown.

  “Oh, well maybe, but I sense something that way,” Alex explained weakly. “I don’t know how to explain it but-”

  “You lead the way, Alex,” Morgana said. The dark-haired woman smiled at her reassuringly. “If that’s what you feel then it is probably right.”

  A few months ago Alex would have preened under the praise. At least, she thought so. It was all confusing now. Morgana was important to her: always had been. In her own odd way, the older female mage was kind, warm and supportive. She’d had faith in Alex gaining control over her magic, but now Alex thought there was more to her emotions than just the affection of a student towards a mentor. Arto, the first Iron Soul, had been the younger half-brother of Morgana, and she was fiercely loyal to his memory. Alex feared that he was creeping into her own thoughts and emotions now. Or had he always been there in the background but she was just unaware?

  “Alex?” Nicki was looking at her. “Is there something more?”

  “What? No,” Alex said, recovering quickly. “I was just trying to see if I could feel anything else.”

  That wasn’t a bad idea, but the others were already waiting for her. Alex could tell that Nicki didn’t really believe her. Was she losing herself in thought more than she use
d to? There were whispers in the back of her mind all the time now. They were quiet yet distracting, so she must be more distracted, right? Shaking herself, she took the lead down the side of the hill.

  There was another tug. Beneath her feet, the ground seemed to thrum with building magic. That was a bit new; or was it? Alex frowned, uncertain of the answer. In her head, the voices got a little louder and the knot in her chest tightened. Exhaling slowly, she did her best to ignore it. She wasn’t going to break down. Not now.

  Merlin hadn’t been wrong about the ravine. Ahead of them, the small creeks joined together in a rocky low area. Yet at the far end of the ravine and half hidden by low tree branches was an opening in the rocks of the hillside. Alex froze as she caught sight of a pair of violet eyes looking out at them from the darkness.

  “Guards!” Morgana shouted. “Spread out!”

  Alex brought her hands up in front of her. Gray magic appeared around her fingertips, giving her skin a strange glow. The thrum of the earth beneath her feet responded to the danger as the spark in her chest exploded into life.