Over the Line: A Bad Boy Sports Romance

by Elliot, Nicole

  “Yes, I see here he’s allowed phone calls now. I’ll put you through.”

  The phone rang a few more times before I heard his gruff voice. “Lila?”

  I sat down on the edge of my bed, and absentmindedly crumpled up the business card in my hand. “Hi, Eli. How are you? Are they treating you okay in there?”

  I had no idea what to say to him. What do you say to someone who's in rehab?

  “Yeah, I'm okay. They’re pretty cool here, but the first few days were pretty rough. That’s on me though, you know? I should have realized my drinking was out of control a while ago. You know, Lila, it wasn’t you. None of it was your fault.”

  “I know, Eli. I know it was about Megan. But I should have been here, I should have helped you. I am so sorry…”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered. This was my battle to fight. How are you? How’s Levi?”

  So, he hadn’t talked to him. That meant he probably didn’t have the answers I was looking for.

  “He's okay, I think. I mean I haven't talked to him too much lately. I think he’s seeing someone.”

  I could almost hear him smile on the other end. “You mean besides you? And what are you going to do about that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Lila, I'm in rehab, not a psych ward. I know exactly how you feel about him. Your face when you realized that he had heard what we were talking about, you were crushed. You didn't want him to think any less of you than he had this whole time that you were apart. I know that feeling.”

  I sighed. “You're right. I still have feelings for him. But I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do about it.”

  He paused. “If there's one thing I've learned in here in therapy, and don’t you laugh at me, it's that you have to tell people how you feel. Like I should really tell you that none of this is your fault, and I really miss Megan. And you should tell Levi that you still love him, and that night was a mistake. Because that's the truth. Lila, you and I both know it. And it's not fair to him to keep lying to yourself or to him.”

  Whoa. Real actual words about feelings from Eli Jackson. I laid back on my bed with my feet just dangling over the edge. I wasn't sure I could breathe.

  “You have to tell him, Lila. And you have to do it before you leave again.”

  I sat back up. He was right. I was leaving in just a few days, and even though the past few weeks had been completely insane, I had to tell him before I went back to Florida, or I may never get another chance, especially if he was leaving for Japan.

  “Before I leave? He didn’t tell me about Japan, Eli.”

  “I didn’t think he would. He’s all kinds of hung up on you again. I know he is. He told me about his plan, your little arrangement. I mean he more yelled it at me in one of our fights. But it’s bullshit, his way of protecting himself.” He sighed, “I’m the reason he’s getting sent to Japan, Lila. I ruined our deal with the Hawks and he almost got dropped. Japan is my fault. And hey, this girl, what do you know about her?”

  I shrugged, “Not much, why?”

  “His agent comes to town to see him. Cute little thing with dark hair, real flirty type. Just so you know, you might be the only girl for him.”

  Oh my God. The girl on the phone, the coffee shop, what if it was just his agent? I was being so immature, with no reason. “Oh. Well thanks for… everything. And Eli, take care of yourself, okay? In case I don't get to see you before I leave. “

  He laughed. “You won’t be seeing me for a while, Lila. But that's okay too. Bye.”

  “Bye, Eli.” I ended the call, and looked at my phone. That was the first time I'd ever heard Eli talking in such a serious tone. There was definitely a very small part of my heart that he still owned for saving me that night. Even though he may have royally screwed up my relationship, I don't know what I would've done without him. I turned the phone over a couple more times before finally clicking on the messages tab, and typing to Levi.

  We need to talk. It's important. I talked to Eli.

  Twenty-Six

  It took me another whole five minutes to press send, but once I did, I laid back on my bed, and pulled a pillow over my face. I just wanted to hide from the world. I laid like that for almost an hour. I must've dozed off at some point, but I didn't hear any notifications come from my phone. Maybe I was already too late. When I pulled the pillow off of my face, I noticed that my room had gotten significantly darker; a storm was rolling in. It happened a lot at the beach, but it wouldn’t last very long. But, for some reason, it reminded me of when Levi and I used to run in the rain together. It also reminded me of where we used to go when the rain was too much, and we couldn’t get home.

  When I played piano, there was an old theater on Main Street that had a baby grand that I used to practice on sometimes. Levi and I would run in the rain, and go to that piano. We had a blanket in one of the lockers that the crew used, and he would lay it out on the stage and listen to me play for hours and hours until we couldn't hear the rain anymore on the roof. The owner knew that we were there, and I think she thought our love story was romantic, so she just let us go. I wondered if the place was still open. I wondered if Levi even remembered those days. I was tempted to text him again. Tell him I was going there, but instead I found myself changing into running clothes, and lacing up my sneakers.

  I tore down the stairs and ran out the front door, not even remembering to close it. As soon as I got outside, the chill of the rain felt like freedom. I hadn't even stretched and, only half a mile into my run, I was feeling it, but I didn't care. I pushed through, my legs screaming at me in agony. My body protested since I hadn't trained like this in years, but I didn't care. I just had to see that old theater, and I had to feel the keys underneath my fingers. My breathing was labored, and I only stopped once when I was afraid I was going to throw up. As I stood bent over heaving, the rain pounded on my back. But I was just two blocks away, so I took a deep breath, and kept going. When I finally stopped for good, I found myself in front of the dilapidated building in the pouring rain. I was soaked to the bone, and it was a colder day than I'd realized.

  I looked at the old metal doors with the glass panes in each one. I traced my fingers along the wet glass, and pulled on a handle. Locked of course. I gazed up at the marquee and saw Anything Goes was the next show, and it didn’t start for another two weeks. Then, I remembered that there was a back entrance. I couldn't avoid the puddles as I walked through the dark alley to the back door, which was always left slightly ajar. I slipped into the darkness, and had to count my steps to remember where a small flight of stairs was. I had done it a hundred times with Levi, but it felt so lonely doing it by myself. I tried to shake off the chill of the water on my skin. I hoped I could make the loneliness dissipate as well.

  As I reached stage left, I saw that all the stage lights were on. I could just see the tip of the baby grand piano sitting in the corner of the orchestra pit. I had to touch it. As I started to cross the stage, a woman approached me from the opposite side. If I remembered correctly, she was the owner.

  “Oh, my dear! Were you out in this storm?”

  I suddenly realized how cold I was, and my teeth started to chatter. “Yes ma'am. I went for a run.”

  She cocked her head to the side, and studied me closely. “You're the piano player.”

  I wrapped my arms around myself. “I was.”

  The wrinkles around her eyes told me she was still giving me the once over. “I think you still are.”

  She walked past me to stage left where I had just come from. I could hear her heels clicking on the hard wooden surface of the stage. She came back, and wrapped a towel around my shoulders. “You need to warm up, child. Those fingers have been resting a long time.”

  I nodded, my teeth still clinking together unwillingly from the cold. “Yes, ma'am.”

  She took her finger, and put it underneath my chin, lifting my eyes up to hers. They were a cool gray color, and the wrinkles around them told me about
her years of wisdom in show business. “You still play.”

  I pulled back. “Not for years.”

  One side of her mouth lifted up in a smile. “He still wants you to play. Every time this summer it’s rained like this, he comes.”

  I was shocked. “Who comes?”

  She turned away, and began walking off stage right. “You'll see.”

  I wanted to chase after her, and ask her more questions about Levi, about how long he had been coming here or when the last time was. But, instead, I was drawn to the piano. It was like an addiction, and I needed more.

  I walked over to the side of the stage, and walked down the stairs into the orchestra pit. I pulled the towel tighter around me as I sat on the bench, and let my hands find their place on the keys. I only pressed a few at first, trying to remind my hands of how it felt to play. But they didn't need any reminding. Within seconds, I found myself playing one of Bach's most famous concertos. And, as the towel fell from around my shoulders, I let my fingers work out the frustrations that they had held in them for so many years. My body blamed me for what my heart hadn't allowed myself to do. I was meant to play. It was as easy as breathing, and I never should've stopped.

  I played as the emotions and disappointment of the past five years pushed out of me. I had done this to myself. As I played, my tears fell onto the ivories. It was like I had found an old friend after years of being apart, but the conversation flowed so easily between us.

  I felt a presence behind me, and spun around, hoping to see Levi standing on the stage with that old blanket. But when I turned, the stage was empty. I stared into the shadows behind the curtains, but the movement could have been from the wind coming from outside. Or the owner could be lurking, listening to my music. It would have been a beautiful moment had this been where Levi and I reconnected, but life didn’t always work that way. Right before I sat back down to continue playing, I swore I saw the curtains move behind the stage, but when I shielded my eyes from the bright lights of the stage to get a better view, I couldn't see anyone behind them. It wasn't my mind playing tricks; it was my heart. I sat and played until the drumming of the rain slowed and stopped. I closed the piano. It’s silence felt freeing, like I had finally told the world all of my secrets. I picked up the towel from the floor, folded it neatly, and laid it on the edge of the stage. But, just as I was about to leave, the owner once again came out of the darkness to see me.

  “He didn't come.” I was crushed. For some reason, I thought that this could have been the moment that we would've found each other again. Where I would finally learn the truth, about Japan, the agent, everything. This could have been where we realized that we still cared for each other on the light of the stage where we had spent so many days together. I thought about how I had just cried all over the keys of the baby grand piano, allowing it to absorb my pain. That's what music had always done for me; it had fixed my whole world. Things started going wrong when I turned my back on it, and when I turned my back on Levi. She just looked at me blankly. So I repeated myself, “He didn't come. You said that he comes, but he didn't.” I turned on my heel, and began to run again. Running away was something I was good at.

  But she called after me, “The boy?” I stopped so suddenly I almost slipped on the wood from my wet sneakers.

  My head jerked around. “Yes. The boy. The boy didn't come. He doesn't love me.” He really did just want sex, no feelings. I needed to accept that. I could feel the tears once again rising in my chest like waves cascading on a beach. They would fall out of me in any moment.

  “You only see what you want to see.”

  “What? What does that mean?”

  “He was here. He was here, and he watched you play.”

  My breath caught in my chest. The shadow behind the curtains wasn't her; it was him. “Are you sure?” I choked out.

  She simply nodded, turned, and walked away, her shawl billowing behind her as she crossed the stage. I checked my body for my phone, but realized that I left it back at the house. Hope rose in my chest as I sprinted out the back door of the theater into the cloudy day. I avoided as many puddles as I could as I sped back home. My chest hurt as I ran, but I had to know if he'd been there. I had to call him. My heart pounded in my rib cage, and I fought for air, but just as I rounded the corner to my house, something else struck me. Mackenzie was outside on the stoop, sitting with her phone in her hands. I realized I hadn't told her where I went, and maybe she was worried. When I arrived to my father's yard, she stood up with a solemn look on her face. “We need to talk.”

  I put my hands on my knees, and tried to increase my airflow in my body: in through my nose, and out through my mouth. “What?”

  “I don't even know how to say this.”

  I stood up. “Then just say it.” I got out between labored breaths.

  She sighed. “Charity's pregnant.”

  My mouth dropped open, and I practically fell over. My worst nightmare. My father had finally decided to replace us. Suddenly, my love affair seemed small and insignificant. Mackenzie's eyes were filled with tears. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “She just told me.”

  “But why wouldn't they just tell us together? Why you by yourself?”

  She shrugged. “Charity and I have been spending some time together since that day at the bridal shop. I guess she and dad thought that I was, I don't know, part of the family or something. Do you think this is the only reason they're getting married?”

  I wasn't sure. And I didn't know how to tell her that. “I don't know, Kenz. But why don't we go inside, you order one of those ridiculous movies, and we sit and eat over it.” I also considered that I would be drinking while eating, but she couldn't do that yet. She still looked sad, but she nodded, and I put my hand around her shoulder as we walked in together. We went straight upstairs to her room, and after I changed, we watched that movie about the sparkly vampires, and we laughed at their ridiculous behavior. My phone sat next to me the whole night, but I didn't call Levi. That night was reserved for my sister. Not for me.

  Twenty-Seven

  I squeezed into the little black dress, and had Mackenzie zipper me up. Looking at myself in the mirror, I had to buy a new strapless bra to make it work, but I looked awesome. Mackenzie stood next to me looking just as nice, and I could hear Charity’s sister clunking around in the other room as she put on hers. Charity had wanted us all to try them on before we left for the rehearsal dinner just make sure that we would look good standing next to each other up at the altar. No one had talked about the pregnancy, and I definitely wasn't ready to. So, for now, we just ignored it. Everyone had a smile plastered on his and her face even though at least two of us were dying inside. And by the look on Charity sister's face, she wasn’t extremely happy to be there either. She was also five years older than Charity, and hadn’t married or had any kids of her own. I could tell the cat lady label was going to be attached to her very shortly.

  As we stood on the landing, Charity assessed us coming down the stairs, and my dad stood smiling in the entryway. I wanted to say something to him; I wanted to tell him that, even though the woman who split up my family was pregnant, I was playing piano again. I wanted to tell him that I was okay even if I wasn't okay with his choices. I hadn't told anybody about the theater yet; it would come with time. Maybe I would even start taking lessons again, or enter the music program as a minor for my senior year. It would make me happy. And, for now, that's all that mattered, my happiness.

  “You all look fabulous. You girls are right. Black is totally in for weddings. Oh, I just can't wait for everyone to see you!” She clapped her hands together tightly, just beneath her chin. She was practically glowing, her smile was so big.

  “Okay, now. You three run up and change for the rehearsal dinner; we have to be there in half an hour. Your father and I are going to meet you two at the restaurant, and Leslie's going to ride with us. Give the sisters a little alone time.”

  I couldn't tell if sh
e meant her and her sister or me and mine, but either way, I was fine with not riding to the restaurant with them. Charity didn't find it necessary to have an actual rehearsal, which shocked the hell out of me, but I was going to just go eat the food. Mackenzie put on the lilac dress that she had packed specifically for the occasion; I had a bright indigo one that had one strap just off the shoulder, and sat above my knee. Both of our dresses were very simple, but because they were bright colors, we stood out among the crowd of thirty people at the Italian restaurant where they had booked a room. The whole event was catered, and people stood around and talked, while others sat at small tables, indulging in the amazing food.

  I sat alone twirling pasta on my fork. Kenz bounced up behind me. Her mood had greatly improved since the other day.

  “So, then no date?”

  “Nah, Kenz. I'm flying solo tonight. Just us girls.” I tried to plaster a smile on my face, but she could see right through it.

  “I'm sorry, Lila.” She placed her hand on my back to comfort me.

  “Yeah, me too,” I whispered, staring once again at my plate. “Haven’t exactly come up with a solution there yet.”

  “So, there’s still hope?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  He hadn’t called after the theater. So I wasn’t sure there was.

  We sat at the tables pretty much the entire dinner. It's not that we were avoiding the guests. Mackenzie and I didn't really know anybody. It was clear that many of the people were family members of Charity’s. Her mother looked just like her only twenty years older, and her older sister, Leslie, whom we had met at the house, also had similar features. She was kind of bitter and jaded. I saw her eat multiple slices of cake, but I'm definitely not one to judge. I was doing my own carbo-load.

  We were almost done with the dinner when Charity announced they would be doing toasts.

  “Did you prep something?” I looked at Mackenzie.

  “No! You?”