Goodnight Sweetheart

by Annie Groves

  ‘Eddie’s right, June,’ Elsie chipped in. She smiled at Molly. ‘You do what you want, love,’ she said, adding, to Molly’s relief, ‘I’d better get back. I promised Sally Walker I’d get her a bit of shoppin’ in. She’s finding it hard being on her own with baby, and no family around her to help whilst her Ronnie is away.’

  ‘That Eddie’s got some cheek,’ June said scathingly after their neighbours had left. ‘It seems to me he’s got a sight too much to say for himself where you’re concerned, our Molly. I hope you haven’t forgotten where your duty lies. I wouldn’t want a sister of mine being talked about by every gossip in Edge Hill and Wavertree as the sort that forgets where her loyalties lie. Why don’t you write to your Johnny and tell him how much you’re missing him?’

  ‘I haven’t had a reply yet to the last two letters I wrote,’ Molly told her quietly.

  ‘Well, you can’t expect a fighting man to have the time to be writing every five minutes.’

  ‘Why not? Frank writes to you every day, and besides, they aren’t fighting yet, are they?’ Molly pointed out sturdily. ‘They’re both still training.’

  ‘You’ve got a sharp tongue on you today,’ June told her. ‘Let’s get changed and go down to Lewis’s. We can have a cup of tea there, I’ll post me letter, and then we can go and see if they’re taking on at Napiers.’

  Molly shook her head, ignoring the guilty twinge she felt at June’s astonished look.

  ‘No, I don’t want to. I’m going to go back to Hardings,’ she told her sister.

  ‘Well, if you don’t mind turning down four pounds a week, that’s up to you,’ June announced, but Molly could see that she had surprised her.

  Half an hour later, when June came downstairs all dressed to go out, with her hat on, Molly had to fight to suppress her own qualms about going against her. All her life she had gone along with what June had told her to do, and it felt strange to be defying her now. She felt bad, but somehow strangely lighter at the same time.

  ‘If you change your mind, you know where to find me,’ June told her firmly.

  After she had gone the house felt oddly quiet. She and June had always done everything together. Perhaps she should get changed and go after her. After all, working at Napiers was surely a small price to pay to be with her sister.

  She headed for the stairs and then stopped as she heard a soft tap on the back door.

  ‘I saw your June walk past,’ Eddie announced when Molly let him in. ‘You shouldn’t let her tell you what to do all the time, Molly.’

  ‘She means well,’ Molly defended her sister. ‘She’s just looking after me, that’s all.’

  ‘Aye, well, from now on I’m going to be the one doing that,’ Eddie told her softly, reaching for her hand.

  Her heart felt as though it was jumping around all over the place. She could hardly breathe for the excitement fizzing inside her like Edmondson’s best lemonade. She looked at her hand, so small against Eddie’s.

  ‘We shouldn’t be doing this,’ she whispered. ‘Not whilst I’m … people will talk, Eddie,’ she told him anxiously, ‘what with me supposed to be engaged to Johnny.’

  ‘I’ve got to go back to me ship tonight.’ He was playing with her fingers, and Molly could sense his desire. ‘I wish I could make you mine, Molly, so that if I don’t come back, you’ll never forget me,’ he began gruffly.

  ‘No, you mustn’t say that,’ she protested, tears stinging her eyes, as she went into his arms. When they wrapped around her, she closed her eyes, lifting her face towards his for his kiss.

  ‘You’re right, we shouldn’t be doing this,’ he told her thickly.

  But he still kissed her, and she still kissed him back, even though she knew she shouldn’t.

  ‘I’m going now,’ he whispered hoarsely as he released her and stepped back from her, ‘because if I don’t … Will you come and see me off tonight? We’re sailing from Brunswick Dock.’

  Molly nodded. She didn’t want to let him go but part of her was glad that he was going. She didn’t trust herself to refuse him if he stayed.

  There had been a girl two streets back from Chestnut Close, who had got herself in trouble last summer. The shame of it had forced her parents to up sticks and leave the area. It made Molly shudder just to think about it. She wanted her and Eddie to be together for ever, and in every way a man and woman could be together – but not just yet …

  ‘A WVS meeting again tonight?’ June grumbled. ‘And what am I supposed to do with both you and our dad out? Sit on me own and twiddle me thumbs?’

  ‘You could go round and see Sally,’ Molly suggested lamely.

  ‘What, and risk bumping into Frank’s mam? No, thanks. From what I’ve heard she’s round there every day, telling Sally how to go on.’

  Molly was too guiltily aware of the lie she had told June to press her to change her mind.

  The atmosphere between them had been very strained since June had returned from posting her letter to Frank to tell Molly that she was definitely not going back to Hardings but was taking a job with Napiers instead.

  ‘But we’ve always worked together,’ Molly had protested.

  ‘Well, it’s not me that is changing that,’ June had told her. ‘There’s a job for you at Napiers, if you want one.’

  But the truth was that Molly didn’t. She wanted to go back to Hardings and the friends she had made there. It wasn’t so much the danger of working at the munitions factory that put her off as the gossip she had heard about some of the girls who worked there.

  ‘They’re a real rough lot,’ Irene had pronounced when they had talked about the good wages Napiers paid. ‘Thieving and all sorts goes on.’

  Her guardian angel must really be looking out for her, Molly decided with fervent gratitude as she risked giving a final guilty glance over her shoulder and hurried out of the cul-de-sac. Molly didn’t have to lie to June about why she was going out supposedly to a WVS meeting out of uniform, because June had announced immediately after the tea things had been cleared that she too was going out for the evening, to see an old school friend she had bumped into earlier in Lewis’s.

  ‘She’s working in a baker’s now and said as how she would do her best to sort me out with a wedding cake.’

  Although food wasn’t as yet rationed, certain things were very hard, sometimes even impossible, to get, and everyone was being exhorted to remember the war, and reminded of the penalties for not doing so. Molly could well understand June’s desire to take full advantage of the opportunity that had arisen.

  With any luck she should be back home before June. Eddie, who had nipped in to say a public goodbye to both her and June during the afternoon, had said that his ship was due to sail at half-past seven.

  Now, just thinking about him made her quicken her pace, whilst her heart raced in a mixture of excitement, guilt and concern.

  Brunswick Dock was a fair walk, so Molly decided to take the bus as far as she could to save time and shoe leather.

  The dock was busy, and Molly hesitated, not sure where to go.

  ‘Your fella sailing on the Aronsay?’ another girl called out cheerfully to her, falling into step alongside her when Molly nodded.

  The closer they got to the side of the large ship looming up out of the docks, the thicker the press of people was. Eddie had told Molly he would meet her at the stern end of the vessel, and to her relief the other girl informed her that she too was heading in that direction.

  ‘New to this, are yer?’ she asked in a kindly way, adding when once again Molly nodded, ‘Well, mek sure you tell him what ter bring yer back – nylons, I’ve told mine to get us, and a lipstick as well. Allus get a bit o’ sommat special when he’s over to New York.’

  Molly’s eyes rounded. ‘I thought they weren’t supposed to say where they are sailing to?’

  Her new friend smirked. ‘My Jimmie wouldn’t dare as not tell me. Oh, there he is,’ she announced. ‘Will yer be OK?’

  ‘Oh, yes …�
� Molly began to assure her politely, relief bringing a wide smile to her face as she heard Eddie’s familiar voice calling her name.

  ‘I should have remembered how busy it gets down here and not asked you to come,’ he said ruefully, holding her hand as he led her through the crowd into the shadows of the great hull.

  ‘I didn’t realise you were going to New York,’ Molly told him worriedly. ‘It’s such a long way, and there’ll be U-boats and—’

  ‘Nah, the Aronsay’s a good ship – and fast. I’ll be there and back before you’ve had time to miss me, and I promise I’ll bring you sommat pretty.’ He had in mind his Auntie Elsie’s comment that June was thinking poor Molly could wear Sally Walker’s sister-in-law’s cast-off bridesmaid’s dress, and he was hoping he would have time in New York to get her some pretty fabric.

  There was a long, loud blast on the ship’s whistle. Eddie took Molly in his arms and kissed her fiercely. Oblivious to everyone and everything but him, Molly kissed him back equally eagerly.

  ‘I’ve got to go, otherwise I’ll be swimmin’ over Liverpool bar to catch up with the ship,’ Eddie joked. But he still kissed her a second time, whilst all around them men started to hurry on board.

  ‘I love you, Molly Dearden,’ he whispered to her, as he finally released her.

  She wasn’t going to cry, Molly promised herself sturdily. She didn’t want him to remember her with tears in her eyes. So instead she smiled as she waved, and watched him disappear, her heart soaring and breaking at the same time.

  She was just about to start making her way back through the crowd when she saw Johnny’s sisters, standing a few yards away, staring at her. Her heart thumped guiltily. Had they seen her with Eddie? She knew that she couldn’t ignore them, and was just about to make her way towards them when they turned round and disappeared into the crowd.

  Although she was relieved not to have to speak to them, Molly still felt sick with worry and guilt. What if they had seen her with Eddie, and they told Johnny?

  She shouldn’t have come down to the dock to say goodbye to Eddie, and she most certainly should not have kissed him, she knew that. She was engaged to Johnny, and it didn’t matter that she had never wanted that engagement. If Johnny’s sisters had seen her kissing Eddie they would tell everyone, and there was nothing she could say to explain or defend herself. She wished desperately for the umpteenth time that she had never let herself be talked into her engagement to Johnny.

  All the way home on the bus, her head was filled with dreadful images of everyone’s disapproval. And it wouldn’t just affect her, it would affect her sister and her father as well. Once one member of a family did something that made them a social outcast, that reflected on everyone else in their family. Yet she couldn’t regret having gone to see Eddie off, and nor could she bring herself to deny her feelings for him.

  These were such dark and dangerous times. If the unthinkable should happen, and his ship should be attacked by one of Hitler’s U-boats and sunk, at least she would have the memory of having held him and parted lovingly from him.

  Molly looked wanly at her breakfast. She had barely slept and this morning her head was aching.

  ‘Come on, drink up your tea, else we’re going to be late for work, and I don’t want old Harding moaning at us,’ June urged her.

  Molly frowned in confusion. ‘What about Napiers?’

  ‘What about them?’ June shrugged. ‘I didn’t say as I would take their job, I just said as I’d think about it. As it happens, I have thought about it and I’ve decided I might as well stay where I am. Now get a move on, will yer?’ she demanded, pulling a face when Molly jumped up, her cornflower-blue eyes shining with delight as she flung her arms around her sister, exclaiming with heartfelt delight, ‘Oh, June, I’m that glad you’ve changed your mind.’

  ‘Oh, give over being so soft, will yer?’ June complained, but Molly could see that she was smiling.

  It was such a relief to know that she and June would still be working together, Molly thought as they set off for work, linking arms to walk speedily down the cul-de-sac.

  ‘I really would have missed you if you’d gone to Napiers,’ Molly told June, squeezing her arm affectionately.

  ‘Aye, well, it seems to me that someone has got to look out for you, and make sure as you don’t go getting yourself into trouble.’

  Molly was relieved to see their bus lumbering towards them, sparing her from betraying her guilt. It was tearing her apart.

  ‘So then Mr Harding says, “Well, Irene, it seems to me that you should be in charge of the girls from now on,”’ Irene told them, mimicking the factory owner’s way of speaking, as she filled June and Molly in on what had happened since they left.

  ‘But poor Hannah, what will happen to her?’ Molly asked worriedly.

  ‘Gorn mental, she has,’ Ruby opined, ‘and no mistake.’

  ‘Her sister come in yesterday and said as how Hannah will be moving in wi’ her so as she can look out for her,’ Irene answered Molly, before saying crisply, ‘Now come on, all of you, we’ve got work to do. There’s a war on, you know.’

  Within a few minutes the room was filled with the busy whirr of sewing machines – and the chatter of the girls as they returned to the familiar exchanging of comments whilst they sewed, calling out questions and answers to one another without lifting either their eyes or their hands from their work. They were working hard for their men and for their country, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t have some fun doing it.

  EIGHT

  ‘I heard last night as how all the cinemas and dance halls are opening up again on account of there not having been any bombs,’ Ruby told the other girls one October evening as they hurried to put on their hats and coats ready to go home.

  ‘Well, that’s something to be pleased about,’ Irene said approvingly. ‘Right fed up of havin’ to stay in, I’m gettin’, especially with the blummin’ blackout.’

  ‘Well, I heard as how some poor chap was run over the other night on the Scotland Road. Walked right in front of a bus, he did, and never even seed it on account of it being blacked out.’

  The newspapers were full of stories of accidents in the blackout, and men had been urged to walk with their shirt tails hanging out at night so that drivers could see them. All over the country people were complaining about the rules being forced on them to protect them from Jerry’s bombs, of which, as yet, there had been no sign.

  Molly combed her hair and put on the coat she wore for work. She had bought it the January before last, having queued up outside Lewis’s at the start of their sale. She’d saved up for it out of her wages. Secretly she still preferred it to her going-to-church coat. It was brown tweed, darted at the back and nipped in at the waist, with a soft flare that emphasised her neat figure. It fastened with proper horn buttons. Some of the other machinists didn’t care how they looked, coming and going to work, but their father had brought June and Molly up to take a pride in their appearance. She pulled on her hat, dark brown and trimmed with feathers, automatically adjusting it to the right angle before reaching into her pocket for the brown gloves she had knitted to match her coat.

  It had been raining all day and the streets gleamed greasily under the leaden sky as the two sisters huddled beneath a shared umbrella.

  ‘Look, there’s our dad,’ Molly said, as they got off the bus and turned into the cul-de-sac.

  ‘He must have had to work over his shift,’ June commented. ‘He said last night that he would be finishing at two today and that he would go straight to his allotment.

  ‘Here, Dad, wait up,’ June called out as the girls hurried to catch up with him.

  ‘I hope you haven’t got more eggs,’ June teased him.

  His chickens had become a bit of a standing joke in the cul-de-sac, which he took in good part, claiming that at least they would be more tender to eat than the two pigs the allotment holders had applied to keep.

  ‘You’re late finishing work,’ said June.r />
  ‘Aye, we had to get some extra wagons emptied and ready for Napiers.’ He rubbed a dirty hand across his eyes. ‘Some of the lads were saying that they’d heard that there’s bin U-boats up at Scapa Flow and that they’ve sunk the Royal Oak. Gawd help our merchant men if blummin’ Jerry can sail right into Scapa and let loose his torpedoes. John from next door isn’t saying much but you can tell that he’s worrying about that nephew of his, and who can blame him? Seems like there’s news of another ship sunk every day.’

  All the time her father had been speaking, Molly’s heart had been thumping relentlessly in her chest.

  It was nearly a full month since Eddie had sailed and Elsie had let slip when she had called round last night that she had been expecting him home before now.

  ‘Didn’t you say you had a WVS meeting tonight?’ June asked Molly as they all hurried inside, shaking wet coats and shivering in the cold dampness of the kitchen.

  When Molly nodded, June told her, ‘Put the kettle on, Molly, whilst I go and see if there’s any letters come.’

  The kettle was almost boiling, and June hadn’t come back into the kitchen. So Molly left her father still tuning in the wireless and went to the door, calling out to June that she was making the tea.

  ‘I thought that would bring you,’ she called over her shoulder a few minutes later when she heard June come into the kitchen. When there was no response she turned round and almost dropped the teapot.

  June was holding a letter in her hand and tears were rolling silently down her cheeks.

  ‘June, what is it?’ Molly demanded, putting down the teapot.

  ‘It’s Frank,’ June told her, causing Molly’s heart to lurch, before a huge smile replaced June’s tears. ‘He’s written to say that he’s bin told he will be home for Christmas and that I’m to get everything sorted out for the wedding.’

  ‘Oh, Junie …’ Molly hugged her.

  ‘I’m so happy, but fancy him not writing to let me know before now. How am I supposed to get everything sorted out?’ June demanded, reverting to her normal manner. But Molly could see how truly happy she was.