Lex Trent versus the Gods

by Alex Bell

  Lex leapt to his feet and bowed with a flourish. He had the look of a winner, he thought with satisfaction when he straightened up and saw his image inside the crystal ball. All right, he was small and a bit on the thin side, but he was determined - surely anyone could see that just by looking at his face! He was probably the favourite to win already! He dropped back down on to one knee as Jezra continued, ‘The first round of the Game, then, shall be Sky Castles.’ He glanced round at the players and added with rather a smirk, ‘Players be aware that there are no rules and that we will do all we can to prevent you from reaching your goal. Your lives may depend on how capable your Gods and Goddesses are.’

  Lex glanced doubtfully at his own dim-witted Goddess. Would flighty, unreliable Luck really be able to triumph over Jezra’s sharp intellect or the Judge’s cold determination? You’d have to be very lucky indeed to triumph against such opponents. But Lex had always been lucky, even before the Lady came along. And, more than that, he was a winner. He didn’t play games to come second place. In fact, the words ‘second place’ didn’t even register with Lex’s inner vocabulary. Why play a game if you didn’t fully intend to win it?

  ‘The round commences at sunrise tomorrow,’ Jezra said.

  And with that the crystal ball in the centre went blank, and the announcement was concluded. The Judge disappeared from the tower without a word, taking his prophet with him. Lex and Lady Luck were left alone with Jezra and Lucius.

  ‘Well, well, well,’ Jezra said, eyeing Lex up and down. ‘If it isn’t the famous thief himself.’

  ‘It is an honour and a privilege, my Lord,’ Lex replied, bowing deeply.

  ‘You seem to bear more than a passing resemblance to my own insipid player,’ the God of Wit remarked with a slight sneer in Lucius’s direction.

  ‘Only on the outside, my Lord Jezra, I assure you,’ Lex said quickly.

  ‘You really should have seen it coming, Jezra,’ the Goddess of Luck smirked. ‘Now you’ve gone and crippled yourself from the start.’

  ‘I am familiar with your work, Mr Trent,’ Jezra said, ignoring her. ‘I am, in fact, something of an admirer of yours and I’m aware that you were once a follower of mine. It will therefore give me no pleasure to destroy you in the course of the Game. But I do not intend to relinquish my place as Master Gamesman simply because I have been lumbered with this incompetent country hick.’

  He slapped his hand across the back of Lucius’s head carelessly as he spoke and Lex saw, to his immense satisfaction, the expression on his twin’s face become even more resignedly miserable.

  ‘Until tomorrow then, my Lady,’ Jezra said, nodding at Lex’s benefactress.

  She returned the pleasantry and the two deities disappeared from the castle, depositing their players outside in the snow at ground level once again.

  ‘All right, how did you do it?’ Lex asked irritably. ‘How the hell did you get Jezra to pick you?’

  ‘This is your fault, Lex, you idiot! Your Goddess tricked him! Jezra thought I was you! That’s why he picked me!’

  ‘Seriously?’ Lex asked, feeling pleasantly flattered. ‘Oh. Well that’s all right then. For a minute there I thought I might have horribly underestimated you all these years. But where are my manners? Monty, this is my dear brother, Lucius. He was born two minutes before me and therefore believes himself to be superior in every way. And Lucius, this is my employer, Montgomery Schmidt, one of the few people in the Wither City who I never actually cheated or stole anything from, but he only seems to hate me all the more for that.’

  Lucius winced at Lex’s words but he politely held out his hand anyway. ‘I’m very pleased to meet you, Mr Schmidt,’ he said.

  Lex pulled a face inside his head. Wet! It really was the only word. Schmidt hesitated a moment before shaking hands with Lucius, perhaps instinctively wary of anyone who bore such a close blood tie to someone as reprehensible as Lex Trent.

  ‘I’m so sorry for any displeasure or expense my brother might have caused you, sir—’

  ‘Don’t apologise for me!’ Lex snapped.

  By the minute he was remembering more and more things he disliked about his brother. He took a breath to reassert his control. How irritating these little lapses were. He smiled brightly.

  ‘You’re being extremely rude, Lucius. Have you not noticed how cold it is out here?’

  ‘Of course I have. It’s Mahara’s sun.’

  ‘And have you not also noticed how frail and elderly my employer here is? You are keeping him outside in the cold with your bland chit-chat.’

  Lucius glanced miserably at Schmidt, wondering whether he should apologise or not.

  Taking pity on him, Mr Schmidt said, ‘You have my sympathy. At least I am not related to him.’ And he turned and strode away in the direction of the ship.

  ‘So you are a thief,’ Lucius said. ‘What they said about you in there was true.’

  ‘Yes, all true,’ Lex agreed cheerfully, before catching sight of the white binding bracelet on his brother’s wrist. ‘Where’s your companion then?’

  ‘He’s at the inn. Jezra said he didn’t need to come for this.’

  ‘Anyone I know?’

  ‘It’s Zachary.’

  ‘I told you to fire him!’

  ‘You have no say over anything that happens on the farm any more!’

  ‘Nor do I want any. I only said it for your own good, but you never did listen to me. Anyway, I don’t have time to stand here jabbering with you.’

  He made to walk away but Lucius grabbed his arm. ‘Aren’t you even going to ask?’ he said, incredulity and disgust battling for first place on his face. ‘Aren’t you even going to ask about him?’

  ‘Why should I? Nothing you’re possibly going to say will please me,’ Lex replied, shaking off Lucius’s hand.

  ‘Yes. Well that’s it, isn’t it? You only ever want to hear things that are going to please you. Life’s not like that, Lex.’

  ‘Mine is. Now that I don’t have any attachments.’

  ‘He died last summer. You left him to die on his own.’

  ‘You were there.’

  ‘I wasn’t the grandson he wanted and you know it. He might have been ill but he could still tell us apart.’

  ‘Oh, don’t talk rubbish! He didn’t know who he was, let alone who we were.’

  ‘You’re wrong. I had to have locks put on his bedroom windows because he kept climbing out of them in the middle of the night to go and look for you.’

  ‘You’re making it up!’ Lex snarled.

  ‘How could you leave like that, without even saying goodbye to us? We didn’t know where you’d gone or what you were doing and then all these stories started coming in about you being a thief and a criminal—’

  ‘I’m going to win this Game and I won’t cut you any slack just because you’re my brother, so I’d watch my back if I were you!’

  And Lex turned and stalked away, glad to be leaving Lucius behind. What bad luck that he should be involved in the Game, too. It could have been such fun without him. But it would be fun anyway, Lex promised himself. He was not about to let Lucius ruin anything for him. And he was most certainly not going to be made to feel guilty.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE SKY CASTLE

  ‘Eat your breakfast!’ Schmidt snapped irritably, thrusting a stale end of bread towards Lex.

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ Lex said, brushing the bread aside. ‘Worry about your own breakfast.’

  He had never been able to eat before stealing, either. It wasn’t nerves so much as a heightened sense of anticipated exhilaration.

  ‘I’m not concerned about your health, you stupid boy, I simply don’t want to experience another hideously distasteful body swap.’

  ‘Oh.’ Lex was annoyed with himself for forgetting.

  ‘Eat your bread,’ the lawyer repeated, throwing over the pathetic crust.

  Lex caught it and sat down on the white furs, feeling disgruntled. It was not even light
outside yet. They had to be prepared for the dawn when the first round of this gloriously divine Game would begin.

  ‘So how does this work, anyway?’ Schmidt asked from where he was sat across the bridge, picking at his own slice of bread.

  ‘What?’

  ‘This Goddess thing. The Goddess of Luck clearly favours you. That’s how you’re able to behave so disgrace-fully and get away with it.’

  ‘Spare me,’ Lex sneered.

  ‘So how far does it go?’ Schmidt continued. ‘I would have thought that even the most gutless, useless person could win a Game if they were lucky enough.’

  ‘Well, yes, but you must remember that her Ladyship’s brain is so much smaller than the other deities we are playing against.’

  Jezra and the Judge, probably two of the most dangerous opponents possible. Dangerous . . . Lex’s pulse quickened with pleasure just at the thought of it.

  ‘Luck will take us so far,’ he went on, ‘but a chopped-off head is still a chopped-off head however lucky you might be, and her Ladyship is not always the most reliable—’

  He broke off as the ship suddenly began to rise, leaving the now unfrozen sea behind as it shot up into the sky.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Schmidt demanded.

  ‘I’m not doing it!’ Lex replied.

  In a matter of moments they had burst through the clouds into the streaming sunlight above. Lex jumped to his feet and strode to the window. There was a huge castle looming before them, anchored to a cloud and made - entirely - out of sand.

  ‘It’s a sandcastle!’ Lex exclaimed.

  He turned from the window, ignoring whatever questions Schmidt was firing at him, and ran out onto the deck to get a better view. As soon as he opened the mirrored door, the heat hit him with all the force of a decidedly physical thing.

  ‘Heetha’s sun,’ he croaked.

  ‘I’m afraid so, dear,’ Lady Luck said from where she was standing at the railings. ‘It’s the most devilish bad luck. The sun is bad enough on the ground but at this height it could be quite dangerous. You are going to have to be careful.’

  ‘Well, all the players will be affected just the same by it,’ Lex said, joining her at the rails.

  He had never experienced this kind of heat before. It felt like he was inside an oven and it was quickly becoming unbearable.

  ‘Yes, dear, but I’m afraid that horrible little lawyer is rather going to disadvantage you.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Your brother has Zachary, who is merely middle aged and healthier than Lucius is himself. The Judge’s player has Theba, who I understand is a gangster of some kind but you have an old man. Old men struggle more with the heat, you know. I do hope he is going to be able to keep up. I do not intend to lose this Game, Lex.’

  It was the first time that Lex had ever heard anything of menace in her Ladyship’s voice. ‘He’ll keep up,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry about that. So what is this, anyway?’ Lex asked, motioning at the huge sky castle looming before them.

  ‘Wait for the others,’ the Goddess said. ‘Jezra and the Judge are coming here. We’re the first to arrive. There’s your brother now.’

  Lex looked to where the Goddess was pointing and didn’t bother to stifle the sneer.

  ‘What is he doing?’

  ‘He’s trying to land that thing on your ship, I think,’ Lady Luck said happily. ‘This should be most entertaining to watch, Lex.’

  Lex grinned as his brother tried to manoeuvre the drayfus onto the deck of the enchanter’s ship. Drayfii looked like shaggy hippos with wings. They were extremely placid and obedient creatures. That was what made them good for farm work. And this one had probably been born and bred on the Trent farm. It did not understand sky castles and enchanted ships and it was clearly scared out of its wits. Lucius was trying to get it to fly towards the great silver ship but the creature was obviously unsure which was worse - the ship or the giant castle - and was hovering uncertainly between them, rolling its eyes in fright.

  ‘They might drop altogether in a minute,’ her Ladyship said smugly.

  Drayfii were not used to long flights, especially with so much weight on their backs and in the glare of such a ferocious sun. Lex turned slightly as the door behind them opened and Schmidt stepped out, gasping at the force of the heat. He managed a stiff bow when he saw the Goddess on the deck and then exclaimed in horror when he joined them at the railings and saw the struggling drayfus. Its long shaggy fur must have been making the beast overwhelmingly hot and it certainly seemed likely that it would drop out of the sky at any moment now.

  ‘Can’t you do something, my Lady?’ Schmidt asked. ‘They’re going to plunge to their deaths in a minute.’

  But just as the beast stopped beating its wings, the most extraordinarily strong gust of wind threw the drayfus and its passengers over the side of the enchanted ship. The animal collapsed in a steaming, wheezing heap and the two people were thrown from its back.

  ‘Now wasn’t that a fortunate thing?’ the Lady murmured, disappointed. ‘That was cheating, Jezra.’

  Schmidt hurried over at once to where Lucius was lying curled on the metal deck. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him to his feet. There was a nasty burn across Lucius’s cheek, down one of his forearms and across the palm of one hand where his skin had made contact with the scorching surface of the steel ship.

  ‘I’m okay. It’s just . . . these burns,’ Lucius whimpered, searching round in vain for something cold to press against his blistering skin.

  ‘Go find him some ice or something, Lex,’ Schmidt ordered.

  ‘Ice?’ Lex repeated incredulously, gazing around at the heat haze and the towering sandcastle. ‘What do you think I am, a magician?’

  ‘You’ve explored the ship. There must be something cold in there. At least get them both some water. The heat out here is—’

  ‘I’m not going to risk missing the beginning of the round,’ Lex said firmly.

  ‘I don’t think you’ve quite got the hang of this Gaming business, lawyer,’ the Lady said, gazing at him coldly. ‘These two are the opposition. Any misfortune of theirs is beneficial to us.’

  Schmidt hesitated, acutely aware of the importance of not angering the Gods. ‘Forgive me, my Lady, but I merely meant to say that—’

  ‘Morning, friends. What glorious weather with which to begin our little frolic,’ Jezra said breezily, striding across the deck. Lex had not even noticed him arrive. He was dressed in the usual high-necked blue jacket. Like the Lady, he did not ever seem to wear different clothes. In fact, the Gods always looked the same when they took human form. It was also clear that they did not feel the sun as the others did. Jezra was wearing a lot of clothing, but he was not sweating and his long blond hair was dry and hardly moved in the heat haze.

  ‘Here - you look like you could use a drink,’ he said, reaching out to Lucius with a hand that was suddenly holding a tall glass of lemonade. It looked good. Lex could see the ice piled up inside. There was even a paper umbrella.

  ‘I’d offer you one, Lex, but you know how these Games are.’

  Lex nodded, feeling embarrassed at the spectacle Lucius was making of himself as he pressed the cold glass to the burns on his face and arm, spilling some of the drink in the process. Of course, the lemon in it only agitated the burns even more.

  ‘What about me, your Lordship?’ Lucius’s companion asked.

  He was a large, brawny man, in his forties with hair that was starting to grey. Zachary did not look like an arrogant bastard. But Lex knew that he was one.

  ‘You’re of no importance to me,’ the God replied.

  ‘What’s he here for, anyway?’ Lex asked. He couldn’t stop the sneer this time, for all his new-found discipline.

  ‘In case this one dies,’ Jezra replied, motioning to Lucius with his thumb. ‘That’s what the companions are for; didn’t you know?’

  Lex rolled his eyes and said, ‘Of c
ourse I know!’ He had, after all, had the whole thing explained to him by his Goddess. But he suspected Schmidt hadn’t known for he noticed out of the corner of his eye that the lawyer was looking distinctly uncomfortable at the revelation. ‘I meant what is he doing here? I don’t want him on my ship.’

  ‘Your ship?’ Jezra repeated with a soft laugh. ‘My, my, that’s a little presumptuous, isn’t it?’

  ‘Don’t be so rude, Lex!’ Lucius said.

  ‘Oh, go to hell!’ Lex snapped. Then he cursed himself for the lapse of control. There was just something about his brother that was forever rubbing him up the wrong way. And of course, the fact that they were twins was an insult that he was sure he would never quite overcome.