Trading Paint

by Shey Stahl

  You’d think at some point, the confident, more stable me would have taken over, but no, I was still fumbling when I reached for the condom, dropped it and then had to search for it on the floor.

  Talk about frustrating.

  Gathering my wits, I got the condom on and settled between her legs once more.

  My hand, yeah the shaking one, reached between us to guide myself into her. My lips were at her ear, my breathing harsh and staggered. That harsh staggering breathing halted altogether when I pushed forward.

  Holly fuck!

  I looked deeply into her eyes and saw the apprehension melt into raw unconcealed lust. Her hands slid down the planes of my body and came to rest at the base of my spine. My mind was hazy as I struggled to hold onto what remained of my control. I pulled back hesitantly, shaking with the effort, and slid smoothly in—her wet skin massaging me the whole way. Sway panted heavily in my ear, and the scorching heat of her breath intensified the sensations elsewhere. She pulled at my waist, encouraging my movements and spurring me on. It all felt so good...I wanted more of her...wanted more of the pleasurable sensations.

  I completely lost the ability to form a coherent thought as her mouth, tongue and hands moved around me. Never in my life had something felt so good as when I entered her. Nothing.

  Not even the first time I discovered how good bleeding your pressure valve was when I was thirteen. And never in my life had I imagined this moment to be so intense, so consuming. I never wanted the feeling to end.

  It took every single ounce of self-control I could rally not to lose myself the moment I was inside of her—completely lost in it for a long moment, clutching her tightly to me with my hands on her upper arms.

  She gasped, her body tensing around me.

  I froze, not that I’d moved yet anyway but so much as breathing seemed wrong.

  “Are you all right? Should I stop?”

  Sway nodded, holding on to me tighter. Kissing her, I poured everything I had into those kisses, wanting her to feel the love I had for her even if I couldn’t tell her.

  I held her hands above her head against the pillow before hitching her leg further, my head dipped down to whisper low and seductively in her ear.

  “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.” I panted as I slowly began to move.

  Sway moaned, her mouth finding my own as her chest arched into me, responding willingly to every movement. Her kisses were urgent and full of passion, igniting the burning desire I already had for her.

  Trailing kisses down her jaw, throwing her head back, she moaned again while her tiny hands caressed me. It was agony to go slow, but it was the only way. Just the friction, the warmth of her around me was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

  “You like that?” I realized right about now, I was panting like a fucking idiot. I couldn’t have looked any more out of control. It was ridiculous. Talk about losing all dignity. I could race six hundred miles but I couldn’t keep my breathing under control when it came to Sway and being inside her.

  “Fuck yes,” she moaned again, her eyes squinted shut in pleasure. “Harder.”

  Pleasure shot through my spine and between my legs.

  I chuckled. “Honey, that I can do,” I growled in her ear. “Ride my camshaft.” I flipped her over so I could see all of her. The faint light from the rising sun shined down through the break in the curtains. Her skin glowed as if she was on fire. “So you like car talk, huh?” I asked taking a firm hold on her hips.

  “Yes,” her back arched at the confession, throwing her head back.

  For someone who hated to have anything on his skin, I loved the wetness seeping from her onto me, coating me. “I can tell you like car talk by all this assembly lube.”

  She started moving faster, I gazed at her wanting this to last forever. This beautiful creature moving against me was mine, for tonight anyway and I didn’t want it to end. “Ah honey, slow down...please slow down,” I moaned nonsensically, fighting my orgasm back. She did thankfully with a giggle, but it didn’t stop us from dirty talking.

  Once the dirty talking increased, I found it harder and harder not to come. Not wanting this to end, I fought for control. There were no guarantees once this was over. This could be it for us, the only time we’d ever truly share ourselves with one another. I didn’t want that to end.

  She didn’t like the level the dirty talking reached at one point and finally yelled, “Okay shut up.” She slapped me. “Just fuck me already!”

  Oh Jesus, that’s not helping my control.

  I fucked her all right. Judging by her moans and downright screams—I’d say she was enjoying this. My mouth quirked into a small smile as one of my eyebrows rose arrogantly when I was sure her moans could be heard outside this hotel room.

  That just earned me another slap to my shoulder. “You shut up.”

  Every move she made my body came alive, the burning sensation spinning out of control. Beads of sweat were running down my body, the heat was unbearable. Having her that close, all around me, was suffocating me in the most intoxicating way. Gasping for breaths, I was completely overcome by this and annoyed with myself that I couldn’t pull get my shit together and act normal.

  And though we were connected, it still wasn’t enough. Moving inside her wasn’t enough, I had the urge to crawl inside her and stay there. I could feel emotions stirring inside me that had never been let out before because really, I’d never done something like this before. As much as it appeared to be just sex between drunk people, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Not with two people that spent their whole lives growing closer and closer until they didn’t know each other apart from one another. It could never be just sex.

  The way she moved, the sounds, the feelings...it was too much. When her back arched again, her legs tightening around me, I lost it.

  “Oh god Sway,” I grunted in a loud gasp against her shoulder. “fuck...I’m sorry...can’t hold on any longer...”

  My orgasm hit me hard, wrenching jerking waves. Dropping my head to the pillow, I let go completely. I faintly registered Sway crying out against me, her fingertips dug forcefully into my skin, holding me against her. The tidal wave washed over me, crumbling but I could feel every sensation. It was by far the best orgasm of my life.

  As soon as I pulled out of her, I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t want to stop and that was a problem. A strange tangle of emotions ran through me in that moment. I was okay with not wanting to stop. We could have more, right? If anyone, I could have more with her.

  Placing kisses against her shoulder, I chuckled. My voice was rough from all that ridiculous panting I’d been doing.

  Coughing, I cleared my throat.

  “Why were we not doing that from the beginning?”

  Sway shook her head throwing her arms over her face embarrassed.

  “Because, we were eleven you pervert.” She sighed before looking back at me.

  My fingers traced along her cheek and down her neck, our breathing starting to slow. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  “No.” she whispered, her eyes strangely determined as she looked at me.

  I wanted to ask her what she was thinking but instead she leaned forward and I kissed her softly losing that train of thought. I don’t know if it was all the alcohol we consumed or what we’d just done, but I was exhausted after that. Completely spent from a day of internally debating, racing, and the most intense physical sensations I’d ever felt.

  I must have fallen asleep after that because when I came around again, Sway wasn’t in bed with me.

  I started to panic thinking she left until I felt her slide back into the bed with me. The sun had risen so I got a clear view of her naked body as she pulled the covers over her.

  God she is beautiful.

  She seemed nervous and anxious as she stayed on the edge of the bed.

  Pulling her against my chest, I closed my eyes thinking of what we’d just done and wanting to wash away any fear she had that th
is wouldn’t work.

  My brain raced to find a way for this to work but I couldn’t get over the idea that we just had sex.

  I had sex with my best friend. The best sex of my entire life, but still, it was with my best friend.

  Beyond a doubt, in that moment, I was in love with her. If I ever had a doubt, I couldn’t deny it now. It was scary, intense, controlling and scary...mostly scary.

  Almost exactly eleven years ago today, I met this girl. Over the course of our relationship—I fell, slowly and hard. Now, there was no going back.

  “Have you ever thought about this before?” I whispered into the eerie silence of the room knowing she could hear me. My voice soft and soothing as my lips danced across her skin.

  “Thought about...?”

  “This...” My arms tightened around her, kissing her skin once more.

  “Yes and no,” she told me.

  Closing my eyes, I let out the breath I’d been holding. I wanted to ask her what she felt and if this was something she wanted to do again but my voice failed me.

  Though I pretended to, I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I held her close, listening to her breathing, praying I hadn’t made a mistake. But I also knew this was Sway and it couldn’t have been a mistake. This was us. There should be no reason for anything with us to be a mistake when everything came naturally. Just like tonight, nothing was awkward, well besides my shaking and self-control but that’s to be expected, look at her. Any man worth his salt would be intimated by this flawless being.

  I also knew it wouldn’t be enough. I craved her like a junkie. I needed it. My body felt like it was still a parched man in the desert and I could have gallons of water, but I was still able to feel the pain of a dry throat. I had to have more of her.

  She had disintegrated me to ash and to be this way with her was the most fulfilling feeling I had ever had.

  Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.

  ~Ghandi

  Turn the page for more than just a taste.

  Behind the Wheel

  Outtakes from

  Racing on the Edge

  Detent Torque

  Jameson Riley

  June 2003

  Detent Torque – Described as torque that is present in a non-energized motor.

  The North Carolina sun was just beginning to rise over Lake Norman as we pulled in. The silver light reflected off the wrinkles in the water. For being early, it was already hot, with temperatures expected around a hundred. Thankfully, I wasn’t racing today. It’s never good when the weather reaches one hundred because you always knew the inside of the car was at least thirty to forty degrees warmer.

  But today wasn’t about racing. It was what I did when the world wasn’t looking.

  We were at my property testing out my toys on a much needed day off.

  I could smell the sun block the girls were using mixing with the heat from the wooden planks of the dock as it burned my feet. Inhaling a deep breath, I threw a couple tubes inside the boat and then hiked back up the embankment towards the cars to help unload the rest of our stuff.

  We got out to the lake early and planned to camp out here for the night before we headed to Michigan.

  Spencer and Aiden were carrying a cooler full of beer as Tommy watched, laughing. To my left, Justin and Tyler were hauling a grill through the grass while Kyle and Mason had a few rafts slung over their heads. Ryder and Cody fought over the handful of jet skis we had and then over which one was faster.

  I smiled to myself that we would finally have a day to ourselves with no racing and no obligations besides having fun.

  Bobby and his girlfriend Kelly were trying to carry bags of food. I jogged over to help Kelly.

  “Thanks Jameson.” She smiled shaking out her arms. “Bobby must think I’m buff or something.”

  “Sorry babe, I wasn’t paying attention.” Bobby said sheepishly reaching for the remaining bags in her hand.

  I already had them and smiled at him before tossing my other arm around Kelly.

  “He told me the same thing in Bristol when he slammed me in the wall on a restart.” I winked at her.

  Kelly giggled and flushed, avoiding my smile.

  “Hey!” Bobby punched my shoulder. “I said I was sorry. Now stop hitting on my girl.”

  “I wasn’t hitting on her.” I laughed. “You’d know it if I was hitting on her.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Bobby looked confused.

  “Oh Jesus Bobby, he was kidding!” Kelly interrupted still giggling. “He has a girl,” her eyes briefly met mine briefly as if she was nervous at the assumption.

  I offered a smile and another wink.

  “That I do.” I mumbled softly, my eyes focused now on Sway who was holding a long piece of grass, tickling Tommy’s ear as he carried another case of beer towards the dock. She could hardly stand up straight as she laughed when he threatened to kick the shit out of her if she didn’t stop.

  Bobby sauntered over to the lake leaving Kelly and me walking slowly behind.

  “I didn’t mean to um...crap I’m sorry.” Her cheeks flushed. “I just saw you two the other day...kissing outside your motor coach.”

  “Like I said Kelly...don’t worry about it.” My eyes moved from Sway to the ground watching the way the grass parted as we walked through it. “I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t something there.”

  Kelly was quiet for a moment before sighing.

  “She loves you...you know that, right?”

  A small smile tugged at my lips, praying she was right, and praying she was wrong. I didn’t say any more to her. I was surprised at myself that I spoke as much as I did to someone I’d only met a handful of times. Kelly was sweet though and perfect for Bobby.

  The sun was glaring in my eyes and I squinted trying to make out the figure coming closer to see Sway approaching me—her long wavy hair pulled back in a bun. My tube was floating next to the deck, bumping up against the boat as waves from other boats rippled along.

  She shifted slightly to the right, her face blocking the sun and she smiled. The sun broke through strands of loose hair, highlighting the mahogany.

  “Does that thing fit two people?”

  “We could make it fit two people.” I held my hand above my eyes, blocking the sun. She hesitated glancing around. “Since when have you ever cared about what others thought?”

  “Since we started sneaking around,” She replied with a smile.

  “Fuck what anybody else thinks.”

  Sway seemed to consider this for a moment before slipping down off the dock into the waist deep water. “How do we lay together in this?”

  “Just climb on top of me.”

  “I haven’t heard that one before...”

  “Oh but I have.”

  Sway is quicker than I gave her credit for. She had me flipped over before I could comprehend what she’d just done.

  When I came up out of the water, she smiled.

  Returning the smile, I shook the water from my head as my smile took a darker turn. She noticed all right. “Don’t...”

  I lunged at her splashing the dock and boat by us with a wave. The tube glided further out towards with the surge. Our water fight soaked the wooden planks and steam rolled in waves.

  Sway stood steady on her feet, pushing her hair out of her eyes, drops of water ran off the tip of her freckled nose.

  “Okay, that’s enough.” She warned with her hands out in front of her. “Now grab that tube. I’m determined now to fit two people on it.”

  So I did. Turns out you can’t fit two people on it without being extremely close but we didn’t mind.

  I let us float out to the middle of the lake, alone. I was a good swimmer and confident I could get us back if needed.

  Sway sat in between my legs and leaned back against my chest.

  My arms were in the water, moving us around and hers rested lazily against my thighs as the heat from her
and the sun caused our bodies to sweat profusely.

  “I think I need to get wet.” Sway whispered tipping her head to the side to look at me.

  Reaching between her legs, my fingertips danced across her bikini bottom. “I think that can be arranged.”

  “You’re such a pervert.”

  We spent most of the afternoon in the tube, just us. We came close to having sex out there but decided against it when the tube flipped us over. Something about it just didn’t seem safe.

  Also, Sway couldn’t tread water for shit and kept falling under the water.

  Just when I was thinking we should get back, Sway would sigh and I put it off, wanting to spend as much time alone as we could. And just like the slow, steady, rocking of the waves created from the nearby boats so were the changes occurring between us, pure and natural, just like her.

  I wasn’t sure how any of this would turn out but in moments like this, I didn’t care. All I cared about was that after eleven years, I was more than just a friend to her.

  Trailing my fingers lightly over her collarbone, I thought about how easy it was to be like this with her. Trying to be everything can make you lose your mind at times, but at the same time, she brought me back just by being around me. When I’m with her, she had a way about her that I didn’t feel like the Jameson Riley who thousands knew as the NASCAR driver or even the sprint car driver. All she had to do was smile and I was right back to that eleven-year old kid who was alive and full of fire.

  “We should get back honey.” I murmured kissing her shoulder. “I’m getting hungry.”

  I felt her sigh. “Hungry huh?” she turned her head to look back at me with a coy smile.

  “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Why?”

  I touched my fingers to her lips.

  “Because, when you bite your lip like that, all I think about is...” I chuckled, her body moved with the movements. “I’m fairly certain you know what it does to me.” I hinted pushing my hips up. There was no way she couldn’t feel my arousal.