Love Cursed

by Julia Derek

  LOVE CURSED

  Julia Derek

  Published by Adrenaline Books

  Copyright © 2014 by Julia Derek

  This is a work of fiction. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Published as an e-book July 2014 by Adrenaline Books.

  To find out more about the author, visit JuliaDerek.com

  Cover design by Edward Wolfe, Blazing Covers.

  “There is no person that love cannot heal; there is no soul that love cannot save.”

  — Carlos Santana

  Ricki

  Oh, God, why is this happening to me? I thought as I left Aidan’s Santa Monica apartment. What is wrong with me? My eyes were filled with hot tears, making it hard to see the street I walked onto. I blinked a few times to clear my vision and find my red Honda that I had parked close by. I soon spotted it and got in front of the steering wheel.

  As I switched on the ignition, my phone sounded in my purse. Instead of pulling out from my parking spot, I got my phone out to see who’d texted me. Maybe it was my boss who wanted something. Lately, I’d become more of her personal assistant than fundraiser at Invisible People, the non-profit organization where I worked; she texted me every other hour to ask me something that wasn’t work-related. No, it was from Aidan. My stomach twisted as I read the words he’d sent me:

  I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I wish you the best.

  I clenched my teeth, fury flowing through my veins. Yes, you should have told me sooner, I yelled at him in my mind. Or how about never having acted interested in me in the first place, if I’m so damn unattractive?

  I huffed and threw my phone on the passenger seat beside me. Then I pulled out from where I was parked between a white Range Rover and a beige Mercedes-Benz. The anger that expanded within me at the thought of what he’d put me through made me feel a little better.

  As I drove away from Aidan’s palm tree lined street, I thought about how stupid I’d been not to have suspected that he wasn’t all that into me after all. In hindsight, it had been obvious, hadn’t it? We’d been going out for almost two months now and barely made out yet, for Christ’s sake, despite getting together several times a week. And that was not because I hadn’t wanted to hook up. Oh, God. I shook my head, feeling like such a tool.

  I had been more or less obsessed with Aidan since the day he began working at Invisible People as the company’s IT guy over a year ago. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I’d hardly been able to believe my ears. At that point I’d given up on him even knowing my name, he seemed so oblivious of my presence at work. He was always in front of his computer, staring at the screen so intensely it made me wonder if it had him under a spell that made it impossible for him to look away even for a second. But then one day, he was standing next to my desk, shuffling his feet in the most adorable way as he asked me if I had a boyfriend.

  I was so happy I thought I had passed out and was dreaming. But then our boss came by and told me to come to her office and I knew it was really happening.

  It had been clear to me all along that something wasn’t quite right with Aidan, but that had only made him more interesting to me. He was a mystery that I would solve, a troubled, gorgeous man that I would fix by loving him with all my heart. So what that he wasn’t that into making out heavily? All we ever did was kiss a little. Something had obviously happened to him that made him scared of getting too close to me too soon, at least in the intimate sense of those words. But he was funny and sweet and a great listener. Those were qualities I greatly appreciated in a guy, even if I did find his reluctance to give me more than hugs and the occasional kiss annoying. I told myself that things would get better the more we got to know each other and the more he let down his guard. He could trust me! It shouldn’t take very long. So when he’d asked me to come over tonight, I’d been convinced it was because he’d gotten so comfortable around me he was going to seduce me and we’d really make out, maybe even make love.

  The last thing I’d expected was for him to confess that he was just not that into me. What the hell?

  I scoffed at the black SUV driving ahead of me on Santa Monica Boulevard when another text made my phone buzz on the passenger seat. I stopped the car at a red light and picked up the phone, anticipating another pathetic message from Aidan, telling me how sorry he was. But it wasn’t. It was from Nina, my soon-to-be-married best friend, who wanted to hear how my night with Aidan was going. I put on my headset and called her.

  “Hey!” she said. “Aren’t you in the middle of having crazy hot sex with Aidan?”

  My stomach twisted with pain again at the reminder of how I’d envisioned this night ending. I sucked in a deep breath to make it better and squeezed the steering wheel for additional comfort.

  “No, I’m not,” I said. “And we won’t ever have it, either.”

  “What are you talking about? Why won’t you ever have it?”

  “Because the purpose of our date tonight was for him to confess he’s just not that into me.”

  Nina gasped. “ What?! Are you kidding me?”

  I sighed heavily. “I wish I was.”

  “What an asshole! Did he actually use those exact words?”

  “No. He just said that he wasn’t feeling it. That he thought I was great and all but that it wasn’t happening. We even made out, like, pretty heavily.” I rolled my eyes. “You know, for us. Then, all of a sudden, he pulls back and tells me it’s not working for him. He basically told me I wasn’t turning him on without actually spelling it out.”

  “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry, Ricki. That really, really sucks. Especially after all this build-up…” She scoffed. “What an incredible dick! He’s probably gay.”

  “I don’t think so… I mean, if that was the case, why wouldn’t he just come out and say that?” I laughed without mirth at my own pun.

  “Because he’s a spineless wimp who only cares about his own feelings.”

  “Yeah, you’re definitely right about that last part—he is a spineless wimp who only cares about his own feelings.” My heart ached as I heard him tell me yet again in my mind that he wasn’t feeling it. “I guess I’m just too fat and ugly for any guy to want to be in a relationship with me. I mean, it’s not like it’s the first time this has happened.”

  “Ricki, this has nothing to do with you. You’re gorgeous. The guy’s clearly totally screwed up and selfish as hell. I can’t believe he played with your emotions like that.” She tsk’d. “Unfortunately, he found someone who sure didn’t deserve for that to happen to her. Not to say that most girls do, but you’re a one-of-a-kind person. Way too nice to people, even to those who don’t deserve it.”

  “Thanks, Nina. That’s really nice of you to say.” Her words did make me feel slightly better.

  “Well, it’s the truth. Where are you now?”

  “In my car, on my way home. I left his place twenty minutes ago.”

  “Do you want me to come over? I’ll bring wine and you can get drunk and talk about what a dick this guy is until you’ve purged every positive feeling you ever had for him out of your system.”

  I couldn’t help but smile then. Nina was a one-of-a-kind friend. “But don’t you have to shoot that commercial tomorrow morning? You don’t have time to come over to my place.”

  Nina—who as recently as a few months ago believed love and relationships were a waste of time—was not only about to get married to an awesome guy, but her life had completely turned around in the career department as well. After having struggled for years to become a full-time working actress, she was finally getting cast in all kinds of stuff, even having a small part in a Steven Spielberg movie coming out next year.
She was bound to become a big star soon.

  “Well,” she said, “the good thing is I’m only twenty-three still, so I think I won’t look all that bad even if I don’t get my eight hours of sleep. Nothing some good concealer won’t cover. I’m in the Hollywood Hills, so I can be at your place in thirty minutes. Do you want white or red?”

  “White, I guess.” Even though I was feeling like I wanted to die my insides hurt so much, knowing I had such a great friend did make it easier to endure. “Thanks, Nina. I really appreciate it.”

  “Don’t even mention it. You’d have done the same for me.”

  Dante

  I punched the floor-based boxing bag as hard as I could, and the damn thing almost toppled over, crashing to the shiny hardwood floor. I wiped the sweat off my face with my forearm and pushed the standing bag back in place, next to all the others lined up against the walls in the group exercise room. Then I left to see if any of the hanging bags in the boxing area were free yet.

  Fuck. All three were still occupied by the health club’s members. Might as well just head to the showers and clean up then. I needed to be at the Whiskey in forty-five minutes. Not that the nightclub was far away or anything, but I had nothing better to do. I couldn’t take any more of the sissy bags in the group ex room. I’d just end up destroying them and then my manager would have me kicked out of the club, which would lead to my probation officer having me thrown in jail. And there was no fucking way I’d go there.

  As I walked toward the men’s locker room, I passed one of my clients, a bleach blond, silicone breast enhanced woman in her early fifties who behaved more like a woman in her early twenties. The moment she spotted me, she threw herself at me.

  “Dante!” She flung her arms around me and I had no choice but to hug her back. Not that I minded hugging my clients—I hugged most of them—only this one never seemed to understand a hug was supposed to be over after a little while. Like, max, ten seconds later. This time was no different; she clung to me like an octopus. Finally, I grabbed her hands that were stuck around my waist and gingerly peeled them off me.

  “You look as gorgeous as always, Lindsey,” I said, holding on to her hands still. I’d come to learn that complimenting Lindsey was the best way to ensure she didn’t throw her arms around me a second time. She always tried once I’d detached myself from her.

  “Oh, you’re so sweet, sugar,” she said in that high-pitched girly voice of hers. “No wonder all the ladies have such a crush on you.”

  What Lindsey was saying was true; it did seem like a lot of the broads at the club were into me. Not that I knew what the hell they saw in an ex gangbanger like me. I wondered if any of the people working out at Crunch Fitness realized I didn’t walk around with all the tats on my arms and shoulders in an effort to look cool. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had only gotten them to show the world I was someone to be feared. Someone you didn’t fuck with. Making others fear you was the only way to survive when you were a member of the Latin Devils. The black teardrop under my eye, a definite gang tattoo, would have been a dead giveaway of course, but that one I’d had removed. All that was left of it now was a faint scar. Fortunately, being a fighter with lots of tattoos had turned out to be a plus when I applied for a job at the club. The women will love a bad boy like you, the female fitness manager had promised and instantly hired me as a boxing instructor/trainer. So far, it seemed she was right because I had no problems getting clients, women and men. Gay men, which the club was full of.

  “Can we do our session a little later tomorrow?” Lindsey asked, tilting her head to make her appear even more girlish I presumed. “Maybe at noon?”

  “Sure, that won’t be a problem.”

  I spoke to Lindsey for a while longer, let her talk to me about how sick her dog had been and how badly she had slept lately. How hard she’d been working on cutting sugar from her diet. How she thought global warming was a real threat. I knew she didn’t really have anyone else to talk to, so I could spare a few more moments with her.

  A half hour later I was on my Harley, leaving the huge mall that contained the health club and riding onto North Crescent Heights Boulevard, on my way to the Whiskey where I’d meet up with Jose. If my probation officer knew what I was up to, associating with people from the Devils still, she’d at best get pissed, at worst make sure I ended up in jail. But I wasn’t going to turn my back on Jose. He’d always been there for me when I was stuck in the gang, not to mention saved my life. If I could do anything to help him get out, I sure as hell would. Even if that meant I was risking my own freedom for it.

  I found an empty space not too far from the Whiskey and dismounted my bike. It was a few minutes past eight, which meant that Jose should be at the bar inside the old nightclub, waiting for me already. He was rarely late.

  The venue was fairly busy, despite that it was a Tuesday night and no band was playing. Carrying my duffel bag with the equipment over my shoulder, I made my way to the bar where Jose already sat perched on a stool, exactly as I had expected. He lit up at the sight of me and slid off the stool. I soon noticed that his face seemed puffy and that he had a black eye. We exchanged a man hug.

  “Hey man,” I said as we let go and peered at him. “What happened to your face? You fucked up?”

  Jose laughed, embarrassed. “Guess you could say that. Carlos didn’t like the way I was lookin’ at his girlfriend, so he roughed me up. Not too bad, though.”

  Carlos was one of the higher-ups in the Latin Devils and a mean son-of-a-bitch. You didn’t want to rub him the wrong way. You didn’t want to rub any of the higher-ups the wrong way, but especially not Carlos. Still, what Jose had just told me sounded sort of weird.

  I narrowed my brows. “He didn’t like the way you were lookin’ at his girlfriend? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  Jose shrugged. “Don’t know, man. I was just gonna ask her if she knew what time it was and he somehow thought that meant I was hittin’ on her. He’d been drinkin’, so he was more paranoid than normal.”

  I shook my head in disgust. “ Conjo… We need to get you out of there soon. You ready?”

  Jose nodded and we headed toward the kitchen. Then we’d go downstairs to the basement where the owner of the Whiskey had a gym. I spent three nights a week there with Jose. It was the minimum time required to get him in the shape needed to survive fighting the guys who’d pound him when he asked to get jumped out. That was the way I’d gotten out, but I had lots of experience fighting, having spent my childhood defending myself on the streets and against older foster siblings. And with my tall, muscular frame, I wasn’t someone you squashed easily. Jose, on the other hand, was a scrawny dude with little experience fighting. When he’d told me he wanted out, I knew he was as good as dead. The thing was, he was as good as dead if he stayed, too. As often as he got disciplined, it was only a matter of time before the Devils turned him into a bloody corpse. I didn’t think they’d intentionally kill him, but it would happen nonetheless. I’d seen it happen before to guys like Jose. Ones bigger dudes liked to bully because they could.

  But I couldn’t get him into fighting shape at Crunch. Fortunately, the owner of the Whiskey became my client and buddy a couple of months ago and offered me the use of the gym in his basement to train Jose. My client was one of the few people at Crunch who knew I used to be a gang member.

  When Jose and I reached the gym, I tossed him the duffel bag where I’d put a T-shirt, a pair of athletic shorts, and sneakers for him to wear while we trained instead of his regular baggy jeans and sweaters. It saved him the time to get home and change, and also helped him to avoid any questions as to why he lugged around workout gear. He lived right in the Devils’ territory, so someone was bound to spot him, and fragile Jose wasn’t the type who went for a workout. The last thing we wanted was for anyone to suspect what he was up to or he’d definitely be beaten into a bloody corpse. Everyone knew he and I were buddies and the Devils didn’t look kindly on disloyal
gang members. Just the fact that Jose was still in contact with me so often was enough for him to be severely reprimanded.

  As I waited for him to get ready, I checked the text that someone had sent me. It was from one of the trainers at Crunch:

  Hey, are you available to train someone tomorrow at eleven? I have this girl who wants to train then, but I can’t accommodate her. She seems cool.

  I was about to text back and say that I couldn’t since Lindsey always did her session at eleven on Wednesdays, but then I remembered that we were doing noon tomorrow. So I texted back: Sure. Tell her I’ll be at the fitness desk to meet her then.

  My phone buzzed with a response ten seconds later: You’re the best, Dante! I’ll owe you. I’ll forward you her cell no. But consider it confirmed. Her name is Ricki.

  Ricki

  Health clubs have always intimidated me and the very spacious Crunch Fitness in West Hollywood was no different. It was filled with celebrities and people with bodies so perfect they looked airbrushed. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the proud owner of a fantastic body, but after what had happened with Aidan, I was determined to become one. I would make that bastard regret what he’d told me, beg for me to take him back. Not that I would. As cruelly as he’d dumped me, I didn’t think I could ever go out with him again. But I wasn’t doing it for him; I was doing it for me, to feel and to look better than I had in my entire life. I needed something new to focus on and I had always wanted to be in super shape anyway, so now was a great time to put my dream into action. Also, I didn’t think having a better body would have a negative effect on my love life exactly.

  Only good things could come out of getting in shape, right? That’s what I was telling myself at least, and so was Nina. Since the night she’d come over to console me, she’d been texting me affirmations and funny images every few hours to cheer me up and to help me get through the day. Sometime before I passed out from too much wine, she said she’d give me a thirty-pack of training sessions as an advance birthday present if getting in better shape was really that important to me.