Adeline sighed inwardly. Just another reason she must put Jackson from her mind when she entered English society. He would be a constant reminder of the life she could never have because she’d made those promises to her parents. She thought about the Bradleys’ love match that had shunned the polite world and given up all family ties, and for what? To start from scratch in hopes of a better future? And look what it had ultimately gotten Jack; grief and heartache because of a life cut off too soon.
All this incident had done was firm Adeline’s resolve to marry a man of the peerage and be content that she could continue her good works undisturbed. If there was love involved, that would simply be a nice extra, but it was not necessary and certainly not desired if Jack’s life now was any indication of the strife those feelings could bring.
“Please excuse me, gentlemen,” Adeline said, allowing the viscount to pull out her chair so she could stand. “I’m quite fatigued from such a long day. I’ll leave you to your cigars and talk.”
“Good evening, my dear.” Simon said kissing his daughter on the cheek.
“Lovely to make your acquaintance, Miss James.” The viscount bowed low over Adeline’s hand.
“Good evening, Miss James.” Jack nodded his head slightly but kept his hands clasped behind his back. Adeline gave them all a quick curtsey then turned and left.
She hurried from the dining room, eager to find the privacy of her bedroom.
“Well, aren’t you all flushed and pretty,” Emily noted when Adeline entered the suite. “That viscount must have been quite the dandy then, for him to have such an impression upon the likes of you.”
Adeline decided that now would not be the time to correct her maid’s misunderstanding of her demeanor. She would rather keep her wayward thoughts of Jack to herself for the time being and allow them to gradually fade as she transitioned into her new life.
“Lord Denbigh was quite handsome, indeed.” Adeline commented as she stepped out of the beautiful Parisian gown and sat before the vanity mirror. “Charming, as well. But of course, a bit desperate to please me. It must be so difficult for a man like him to stoop so low as to have to marry a colonist in order to save his family legacy. Unfortunately, it seeps through in his demeanor.”
“Well, you’ll need to grow accustomed to that sort of thing.” Emily untied the corset, finally allowing Adeline to take a full, deep breath. “All the Toffs are going to seem like insufferable snobs to you at first. Once you get to know how mortified they all are that their ancestors where such complete irresponsible fools, they’ll start to grow on you. It’s just their way and has been for so many centuries that, when a progressive American like you comes along, they simply do not know how to act.”
“Such wise words from a woman of little means,” Adeline teased her maid. “Stone, you are priceless as far as I’m concerned.”
“Well then, Miss, can you have a talk with your father and see about getting me a raise in wages?”
“You know I shall.” They both giggled like schoolgirls, knowing that the coming months would prove challenging for the American.
Emily brushed her mistress’s hair in silence for a few minutes before finally saying what was really on her mind. “It’s that Mr. Bradley again, isn’t it. That’s who’s got you so flustered.”
“Cheeky!” Adeline exclaimed. It hadn’t even been a question, but an outrageous assumption. Emily knew her too well, even after only short time in her service. “Am I really that transparent?” She raised her hands to her burning cheeks. It would be so embarrassing if everyone could read her thoughts so easily.
“I’m sort of psychic like that.” Emily said with a slightly teasing tone.
“Oh, please, not another spiritualist.” Adeline groaned thinking of all the times Clara had used Adeline to sneak her own psychic into the house in New York.
“What then? You’ve had an encounter with a clairvoyant and didn’t tell me about it?” Emily sounded offended.
“No, of course not.” Adeline laughed at the absurdity of the situation. “Clara used to have regular contact with a Madame Francesca back in New York and this seer looked into her crystal ball and saw all sorts of crazy things.”
“Like that you and her husband should be matched up after her death?”
Adeline spun around and looked at her maid in shock. “Why ever would you say such a disloyal thing?”
“But you said yourself that Clara only wanted you and Mr. Bradley to be happy after she was gone. And I know you make each other feel something.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Adeline insisted. “Certainly I like and admire Mr. Bradley, but I am not falling for him. I have a duty to my parents to marry a peer and I shall fulfill that obligation without fail. Clara knew that, too, so I doubt that was what she meant when she said she wanted us to be happy after she passed.”
“Harrumph,” Emily grunted, obviously not believing a word of Adeline’s speech. “You had better be on guard, Miss, and that is all I will say on the matter for the time being.”
“Excellent. Then we shall drop the matter altogether and move forward with our plans. Have you found the leader of the shipbuilders for me yet?”
“Yes, it’s a Mister French and he’s a bit skeptical of a young privileged lady taking up his cause, but I’ve convinced him to give you a moment of his time. It appears he is intelligent enough to realize that a woman of your means could probably help his cause, even if only financially.” Emily helped Adeline into her night clothes and lowered the lamp near her bed. “Here is the work order from the Liverpool firm that has paid for their passage and is sending them on to Belfast for the actual building of the ships.”
“Lovely. I’ll read it before I go to sleep.” Adeline took the document and crawled into bed.
“He needs it back, so just leave it out for me when you are done.” Emily finished putting away underclothes, stockings, and shoes; arranging the items on the vanity neatly. “Goodnight, Miss, sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Emily—Stone.”
* * *
Jack woke the next day and decided that he was finally ready to have dinner in the main dining room. The last several nights had been nice, but if the only people he was ready to see were Lady Huntingdon and Adeline, he was still in a very bad place. But the last few evenings had allowed him to feel normal again. And last night he’d been able to tolerate a few hours in the Smoking Room as well.
“Griffin, I think you might want to press my dinner jacket today.”
“Yes, sir, of course.” Griffin said as if he had planned to do so anyway.
“And I’ll have a note for you take to the Jameses after breakfast.”
“As you wish, sir.” Griffin turned away, but not before Jack saw the smile break his valet’s normally impassive expression.
Jack sent a note to Addie, asking her to join him for a walk in the promenade and for Lady Huntingdon to join them if she pleased. He also requested that both Jameses and the countess to join him for dinner in the first-class dining room tonight. It would be a full day and he was actually looking forward to it.
The air today felt good to him. Jack enjoyed the walk with the ladies and the evening meal was pleasant and entertaining. Afterwards, Simon invited him to the Smoking Room again for some cards and brandy.
“I think I’ll have to pass this time, Simon.” Jack stood and shook the man’s hand. “Maybe tomorrow, but I think I’ve gotten out quite enough for one day. I’ll just walk Addie and the countess back to their rooms.”
“Myself first, dear boy.” Henrietta said yawning. “I can barely stay awake. I think traveling halfway around the world is finally catching up with me.”
As soon as the countess was safely in her rooms, Jack gave his full attention to Adeline. For the second time in as many days he felt his physical reaction to having her touching him, but he concentrated on the crisp night air as they strolled companionably through the promenade and out onto the open deck.
A bell s
tarted ringing from the starboard side of the ship.
“What is that all about?” Adeline asked looking around for a cause. “I didn’t think we were still far enough north for an iceberg.”
“And I doubt we are heading into a storm with the fine weather we’ve had. You there,” Jackson called out to a sailor heading their way. “What’s that bell for?”
“Oh, nothing to concern yer’selves with. Just a large wave a comin’. Not more than a wee bit more rolling than normal.” The deckhand continued on his way, not even stopping as he made his comments.
“Then we won’t worry,” Adeline said with a smile making Jackson chuckle.
“No, indeed.”
They continued strolling at an easy pace, finally stopping for a moment at the railing to enjoy a view of the moon in a clear starry night sky. Jackson could almost imagine that all was right in the world. If only it was Clara here at his side, healthy and humming a tune.
“I don’t recognize that melody.” he said turning to face his companion.
“Oh, probably not,” Adeline laughed looking up at him. They were standing just a hand’s width apart and Jackson imagined he could feel her warmth nearly touching him. “It’s an Irish jig I learned the other night when I went below decks to enjoy a party in third-class.”
“You did what?!” Jackson felt his body tense and a simmering anger rise from the pit of his stomach. Before he could stop himself, he grasped Adeline’s upper arms roughly. “Are you mad? You could have been...” he sputtered not wanting to blurt out crude words that might offend her.
“I was perfectly safe, Jackson. Please take your hands off me!”
“How can you know you were safe?” he hissed the words, giving her a little shake trying to calm himself down. “The men below decks do not have the same genteel upbringing that you are accustomed to and there are no policemen to protect you, either. God’s teeth, Adeline, it’s one thing to join a rally with sober serious men and quite another to insinuate yourself into a situation with intoxicated ruffians.”
“For your edification, I carry a revolver when I go about information gathering.” Adeline’s chin came up when she responded, bringing her pink, soft mouth too close to his.
Just then the ship plunged down and then back up sending the deck below their feet rolling, causing them both to gasp and clutch at each other simultaneously. Jackson forgot his anger and tried to steady them against the rail, holding Adeline snug against his body to keep her from going overboard. One arm held tight to the railing while the other was firmly wrapped around her waist as the great ship plunged down and up, again and again.
Adeline wrapped her arms tightly around Jack’s shoulders and buried her nose in his neck, breathing hard with the effort to remain standing. After several breathless moments, the ship steadied, but neither Jackson nor Adeline had let go of each other.
It was purely instinctual—he told himself later—a residual of the fear of nearly being tossed overboard and perishing in the cold merciless ocean that led to his brushing his mouth over her forehead, then her shivering in his arms and the barely discernible movement of her head slightly up and back that placed her lips within inches of his own. He couldn’t even remember thinking as his mouth came within a hair’s breadth of hers, stopping just before their lips touched but hovering there long enough to inhale her warm, sweet breath. Jackson closed his eyes and thought for the briefest of moments that he should stop, pull away, and push Adeline to a safer distance. He knew it was just the relief that they were both still alive and safe that was compelling him to even contemplate moving barely—just slightly—and tasting the softness he knew was there for the taking. But then it was too much effort to resist and he went ahead and leaned down, finally pressing his mouth to hers and hungrily tasting the sweetness of Adeline’s lips. He swept his tongue against hers and marveled at how right it felt. His body reacted immediately and he pulled her softness tighter against his arousal. But then he heard her gasp, and that sound thrust him painfully him back to reality and the knowledge that he’d just crossed the line of their friendship permanently in a way that he could never take back.
Pulling back from her and physically pushing Adeline away, nearly sending her tumbling down onto the deck, Jackson turned away, gripping the railing with both hands until his knuckles turned white.
“Go!” he shouted. “Just go!”
“Jack...” Adeline’s voice was so small, so quiet and sad. She was near tears, he was certain of it, but he couldn’t turn to look at her. To do so would be to see his own disgrace.
“Please, Adeline, just leave me to my shame.” Jackson couldn’t bear to see her condemning eyes. “I have betrayed all I hold sacred and you are witness.”
He could see her out of the corner of his eye, struggling with whether to stay or go. In the end, she left him there, probably too inexperienced to know what to think of a man in mourning kissing and nearly ravishing her. Not just any widowed man, but the widower of her best friend. How could he ever face Addie again? He was the worst sort of cad and could only hope that Adeline could someday forgive him for this bloody stupid mistake he’d just made.
* * *
Adeline stumbled blindly back to the suite she shared with her father. She barely composed herself enough to walk in without appearing to be completely mad. Thankfully, Father was still in the card room, but Emily was no fool. She saw right away that something was awry with her mistress.
“Oh, my lady, what has happened? If one of those rough labor men has laid a hand on you, I’ll have the captain toss ‘em in the brig.”
“No, no, it was only that big wave. I got caught up top and nearly went over. It scared me to pieces. I just need a sherry and to lie down, I think.”
Adeline didn’t even want to meet Emily’s eyes. The girl was too astute by far and would see through her excuses in a heartbeat.
“I’ll get you something a bit stronger, I think.” Emily said following Adeline to her bedroom and helping her to undress. Once Adeline was in her night clothes and sitting at her vanity, Emily went back out into the main sitting room. “You sit right there while I fetch some of your father’s whisky.”
Adeline stared at her reflection, struggling to remove the look of horror and guilt that was clear for all to see. She reached up a trembling hand and touched her lips with her fingertips. Even though she knew she had not been the one to initiate the embrace, she couldn’t help but notice that she had enjoyed it and had wanted it to end with more than just one kiss. Emily would be back any second, and Adeline would not have her wondering what was wrong, so she forced herself to relax and think about something else.
The shipyards were hiring like mad in Belfast, but the men who ran them were barely more than slave drivers. Adeline would have her work cut out for her if she could manage to get an audience with those affluent men in the drawing rooms in London. If not, she would have to find a way to convince her father to bring her to them.
Taking a deep breath, Adeline used that thought to push what had just happened on deck to the back of her mind. Once she was abed and alone, she could think about Jackson and that kiss, but for now she had to present the woman Emily was familiar with to her maid.
“Here you go, Miss,” Emily said holding out the crystal tumbler. “Go slow now; it’s mighty strong and if I know you, you didn’t eat much supper. Would you like me to go fetch you some tea?” Emily asked looking concerned.
“Yes, that would be nice, Stone.” Adeline breathed a silent sigh of relief. She didn’t think she could keep acting unaffected much longer.
She watched as Emily put a wrap on and left for the galley. Adeline took a gulp of her father’s whiskey, letting it burn down her throat and trying not to cough or gasp as it hit her stomach. She waited a moment for it to warm her limbs before looking back into the mirror. But the guilt and something else was still staring back at her in her reflection. The guilt, she recognized. She’d felt it many times before from all her sneaking aro
und and helping her father’s workers rebel against him and his archaic employment policies. But this other feeling, the one that started in her loins and touched her sensitive skin in a most intimate way, was foreign to her. It was one thing to see Jack and Clara making love; it was quite another to be the object of his passion.
Besides just being mortified by the event, she was disgusted with herself for what could only be described as the ultimate betrayal. Adeline couldn’t imagine anything worse one could do to a friend, even if that friend was no longer alive.
Taking another swallow of the strong liquor, Adeline could feel herself becoming slightly intoxicated. It felt good to find a numbness and become detached from the awful thing she had just done. She would like to be able to blame the whole wretched incident solely on Jack, but she had been prepared to fully participate after their lips met. No, that wasn’t true; she had actually welcomed and hoped for that kiss. And it was possible that he had read her thoughts and knew she’d secretly been attracted to him, so maybe it had been her fault. Maybe she’d tempted him beyond his ability to resist. After all, he was just a man. And she’d been warned all her life that men were base creatures and, if given the opportunity, would take every advantage of a woman no matter how innocently presented.
“Here now,” Emily said returning with a large silver tray. “A spot of tea, a bit of fowl, some fruit and cheese and some nice sweets to finish it off.”
Adeline quickly tried to compose herself again. “Thank you, Stone, I’m not terribly hungry though.”
“Oh, Miss, what is bothering you? It must be more than just the big wave. I can see whatever happened is a heavy weight on your shoulders. Although I cannot imagine what someone as sweet and kind and good intentioned as you has to worry about.” Emily set the tray down and came to sit next to her. She took Adeline’s hands in hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze.
Why did Emily have to be so perceptive? But Adeline supposed that is what made her such an excellent lady’s maid; knowing every mood and need of her mistress before she knew it herself. Maybe if she hadn’t been such a good servant or if the whiskey hadn’t done its job loosening her tongue, she could have kept her awful secret to herself. But Emily was persistent and so, before she could stop herself, she had confessed the whole sordid encounter.
Heaven Bound (A Blakemore Family Book: Madame Lou Series Book 2) Page 7
