Lil Mz. Understood (A FourShaodugh Publishing Title)

by Harmony Miller

  Sophia grabbed my hand and I shifted my eyes her way and she started smiling. It felt good being around happy spirits but I just couldn’t get Evelyn and Coco out my mind.

  "We're here!" Jasmine screamed from the front seat.

  Everyone filed out of the car quickly but I sat and watched them; they were so happy and that made me feel even worse because I had nothing to be happy about. "You might as well turn up because you didn't come all the way down here for nothing." I lectured myself mentally. I hopped out the car and made sure all the doors was locked. I started walking towards the front doors of the buildings and I heard someone scream; it wasn't my name but I turned around to see who was screaming. It was the most handsome guy I ever saw. He had straight, silky jet black hair that flowed down pass his back, his skin complexion wasn’t dark but it wasn’t too light either. He was perfect standing 5'8" tall. His swag was on point, he was dressed head to toe with Polo everything and I couldn’t believe my eyes; all I could do was stare.

  "Hello." He said but his voice was weak and gentle.

  I blanked out and froze up; I couldn’t move my mouth to talk. He started chuckling.

  "My name is Mitchell, you got a name?" He asked holding his hand out for a handshake.

  "H...h...hi my name Missy." I replied stuttering.

  "Cute name. You from 'round here?"

  I just stared at him, I was speechless.

  "Maybe you need some water."

  "Yes, I'm real thirsty." I replied licking my lips; my throat was dry.

  He started chuckling again and went in the building. While he was off getting the drink of water I took a seat and tried to get myself together. He brought the water to me and sat next to me and we talked for a minute. He told me about his family and I told him about mine. He claimed his summer sucked like mine but the way he was looking I couldn’t believe that was true. The music started playing in the building which reminded me that the girls was performing.

  "Excuse me but I have to go in the building and watch my homies kill the stage." A shy smile formed on my face after the words left my mouth,

  "WOW! I finally got you to smile." He laughed.

  We exchanged numbers then walked in the building. The girls were killing it on stage. Sophia was doing her thing and the crowd went wild when she hit her back flip off the stage. After the show we all left to go get the car to leave. I hung back a little watching everyone leaving the building hoping to see Mitchell so I could at least wave goodbye but I never saw him. On the ride back to town the girls just kept talking about their performance which wasn’t a problem for me because it gave me time to think about Mitchell. He was so dreamy. When the car pulled up in front of my sister's house, I thanked the girls for the night and walked up the stairs with Mitchell on my mind.

  ***

  I was asleep but was awakened by my phone ringing back to back. I thought it was either Evelyn or Coco so I kept ignoring it but something said just look at it and when I did it was Mitchell's number! I looked at the time and it was nine o'clock in the morning. I got excited instantly and jumped up in bed and opened the text. "Missy, this is Mitchell. I'm coming down there today. I would love to see you." I screamed out at the top of my lungs. I texted him back and gave him directions to my house. I got out of bed and dashed to the bathroom to take my shower. Mitchell texting me and showing interest made me feel special in so many ways since the time I met him in Greenville. He was so different because he knew how to treat and speak to me and he hardly knew me, it was almost like he knew exactly how to please me. Ever since that day we met at the concert he texted me every day and called me every night.

  Two hours later there was the sound of a horn coming from the back of the house. I was sitting in the living room dozing off when I heard it. My sister yelled for me to open the door and I hopped up off the couch. I looked out the kitchen window and saw Mitchell standing at the end of the steps getting ready to walk up to the door. I opened the door and was smiling from ear to ear. He smiled back with his pearly whites as I started walking down the steps trying not to look so overly happy but I was sure he could tell. When I got to the end of the steps he opened up his arms for me to hug him; I went in for the hug but felt something touching my boobs. When he backed up I noticed he was a she. I didn’t understand how I could have been so stupid not to realize it. I was so blind by her masculine beauty that I didn’t even notice; she had a nice car too. It was a 2012 Chevy Malibu; I was at a loss for words and she noticed too. She walked to her car and opened the door to let me in. I got in the car and she closed the door behind me and walked around to get in the driver seat.

  "Look I know it's not what you thought it was but I was afraid to tell you because I didn’t know what you might think about me after that, that’s why I came to see you since things are starting to get more serious between us." As she was talking all I could think was what the hell did I get myself into. "Missy, do you hear me baby?"

  "Um, yea I hear you. It's just that you're a girl." I responded slowly not looking at her and still trying to figure out how I didn’t know he was a girl.

  "Missy, please look at me." She begged.

  I turned my head to face her but I couldn’t do it, she was looking me dead in my face. She really had feelings for me, I could tell by the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at me and whenever she said my name; I could hear her heart pumping. She continued to go on and on about how she felt about me until I gave in then I turned around and kissed her. It felt like my body was floating and we were in another place. She smiled and started the car. She knew the kiss meant I didn’t care; she was my lover. We pulled up to a great big house surrounded by a bunch of trees with three cars parked on the side. Mitchell got out the car and walked to my door to open it.

  "What are we about to do over here?" I asked.

  "You’ll see." She answered smiling mischievously.

  She held my hand as we walked in the house. I was curious about what was happening because she didn’t even knock. We stopped at the kitchen where a man was sitting at the table with tattoo material. Mitchell sat in the seat he was standing over and pulled her shirt over her head and bent over, that’s when I realized she was fitting to get a tattoo. She knew I was yearning for one from the conversations we have had.

  "You want one?" She asked as the man put the needle to her back. She was strong because she didn’t even budge.

  I thought about it then I was like, "Yea, I'll get one."

  It took Mitchell half an hour just to get her bottom back done; it was a tattoo of her family tree. Since it was my first tattoo I wanted something simple and small.

  "You know what you want yet?" The tattoo man asked trying to calm my nerves as I tiptoed to the seat.

  "Yes, my initials and a butterfly and if you don’t mind me asking what’s your name?" "Johnny. Write your initials out on this paper." He replied in a soft tone he used in an attempt to soothe me.

  Mitchell came and stood in front of me while Johnny was tracing his work. I chose to get it on my leg because that’s where I have the most meat on my body. The man started the tattoo gun and I jumped immediately. Mitchell chuckled and grabbed my hand and whispered in a gentle voice, "It's going to be okay." When he started, it tickled until he got to the end of my butterfly. I jumped when he shaded in the antenna.

  ***

  Weeks went by and none of my family knew I was gay but in my mind I felt normal I didn’t see it as a different gender. I saw Mitchell as my lover and best friend; we hung out the rest of the summer and it was awesome!

  ***

  "Hey Missy, it’s me." Evelyn said as she was opening the door to my bedroom.

  "Wassup?" I asked with attitude.

  She just broke down and started crying and sat on the edge of my bed. I watched her for a minute in disbelief. She was really crying then I threw my covers back and crawled to the end of the bed and held her close to my chest. All she could say was, "I am so sorry" and she kept repeating it. I pulled away
, looked her in her eyes and said, "It's ok I forgive you." I hugged her tight holding back my own tears. I really did forgive her though. It's better to have loved then to have never loved at all. She cleaned herself up and told me she was done with CoCo because he left her for her friend and in my mind I was saying "duh, you think." If he did it to me what made her think he wouldn’t do it to her?

  "Bestie, I got a lick for us to do." She said sniffling.

  "What?" I asked curiously.

  "There's a big flat screen television in the house on the corner of Ninth Street and they got a safe full of money." She said with her eyes big and wide.

  "Baby girl, I gave that life up since I've been on probation. I got a new outlook on life now, I'm trying to make it somewhere in life. My biggest worry is trying to get in school and you should follow behind me on this one." I smiled a big smile that could light up a Christmas tree. I was truly happy with my life, finally. I got back on track; I quit smoking and drinking. My hands were clean; no more names. I was free. Never let a person put you down and tell you what you can and can’t do - believe in yourself if no one else does. If I can make a change I know you can.

  Never say you can’t when you can, never say you give up when you haven’t even tried. Don’t blame your parents for your wrong doing because if you are big enough to do the crime then you're big enough to do the time. No one appreciates what they have 'til it's gone. I'm blessed to have two parents who truly care about me no matter what. Change only comes when you want it, not because somebody else wants it for you. Real friends will support your change.

  I'm not done...my life is just beginning...stay tuned!

  Author Bio

  Sha-Juan Harmony Miller is the youngest African American female author in the small town of Washington, North Carolina at the tender age of 16 years old. Harmony's story is a cautionary tale written partly from experience in a bold attempt to assist adolescents who may be going through similar issues mentioned in her story. Harmony understands firsthand some of these issues because she has personally been through her own run in with the law, has gone through trying times with her family and home life and has dealt with peer pressure. After her harrowing experiences she decided to write a story that would give her "friends in age" a voice in hopes it brings understanding to both teens and adults because she knows being a teenager in today's society is one of the most confusing and difficult times of a young person's life.

  Harmony currently resides in Little Washington, North Carolina where she attends High School and continues to get good grades.

  For Author Interviews, Appearances and Speaking Engagements -

  Email: fourshadoughpublishing@gmail.com

  Website: www.fourshadoughpublishing.com