When I'm With You (Little Hollow #2)

by Danielle Dickson

  I wave and one side of his mouth lifts.

  “Bye Keeley.” I hear as I practically run out of the door.

  I shouldn’t have gone to see him. What was that? Was he really looking at my lips?

  I shake my head, don’t be stupid, Keeley.

  I’m back at the salon and I need Sam to tell me how stupid I was to go over there, I need to hear someone else voice my own opinion. But when I walk in there, she’s curled up on the sofa with red rimmed eyes and my thoughts go out the window. “Sam? What’s wrong?”

  She starts to cry as I gather her in my arms, and I hug her as she tells me all about some guy called Connor who’s back in town. I feel my fists tighten, if he’s hurt her, I will find him.

  “Connor was my best friend throughout school. We did everything together, and he was like a big brother to… Tommy. He didn’t care that I always had him with me, he was just as excited to spend time with Tommy as he was with me. They even went on days out together.” She pauses. “Connor was the one who pulled Tommy out of the water.”

  My hand flies to my mouth. Why hasn’t she told me about this guy before? I know every little thing that reminds Sam of her brother sends her spiraling into the past, so this must be really hard for her.

  She tells me the whole story and I sit there dumbfounded, he must be back here to see her. I voice that but she shakes her head. Well there must be some reason he’s back, there must be more to their relationship than she’s telling me? “Were you two ever, you know... together?”

  She’s deep in thought for a moment then tells me there was a kiss once, but nothing more. I can tell by her expression she wanted there to be, there’s more to the story though, I can feel it.

  Wait. Isn’t Lewis’s friend called Connor? It can’t be, can it?

  Just when Lewis seemed so clear cut; he has secrets after all. Or does he? It’s hardly his secret to tell but being a good friend to Sam, he should’ve told her that Connor was back in town.

  “Hey, you remember when I said Lewis was sitting with a guy at the BBQ place when I turned up?” She nods at me, probably wondering what I’m going to say. “Well, his name was Connor, and when I went to the garage to apologize tonight, he was walking out as I walked in.”

  Her tears turn angry and she immediately goes on the offensive. “Sam, I can see the wheels turning in that head of yours, maybe he didn’t know? Maybe they just bumped into each other?”

  I’m trying to think of a reason he’d keep this from her, but I come up empty. She scoffs, “Look, I know you like him, Kee.” I look down at my hands, I’m not sure what I feel about him. “You don’t have to look away, it’s obvious and it’s fine by me, I’m just angry at him right now. How could he not tell me?”

  I need to get away from this conversation so I go and make a drink. Is he just being nice to me to get to Sam? That’s who he really wanted there last night after all. I must’ve spoken out loud as Sam comes through to join me.

  “What was that?”

  Me and my big mouth again. “Oh, erm, you don’t think he’s using me to get to you do you? I mean, I apologized for being a total bitch yesterday and he invited me in for a beer. It was nice you know? It felt easy with him and he didn’t ask me about my past which, for once, was a breath of fresh air.”

  Sam looks at me like I’m delusional and assures me she thinks he likes me, which is crazy since she hasn’t even been around the two of us, but I keep that thought to myself.

  “You do need to spill though. Go on, take my mind off all of this!”

  I pass her a glass of water and tell her everything we talked about. Sam puts in her two cents and then starts talking about the fundraiser again, I tune out a little and my mind drifts to Lewis’s gray eyes.

  I just don’t know how I feel about him. He’d offered to take me for a ride on his bike sometime, did that mean a date? I’m sure he was going to kiss me tonight, but I couldn’t let him, I can’t let him in.

  Sam yawns and picks up her purse, she looks at me while saying goodnight with bloodshot eyes, and turns to walk in her room. I don’t know what to say to her to make any of this better, so I say the first thing that comes to my mind, as usual. “You’re going to be fine you know that, right? Connor better hope that he doesn’t cross my path, just wait until he gets a piece of me.”

  That fucker better stay away from Little Hollow from now on.

  I hear Sam laugh and it makes me thaw a little. “You’re one in a billion, Keeley Michaels.”

  I feel myself blushing and I wave her off.

  Once in bed, my mind drifts back to Lewis. Why hasn’t he told Sam that Connor is here? I don’t know what to make of it but the more I think about it, the more I need to know the truth.

  I sigh. I guess it looks like I’m going to be seeing him again sooner than I thought.

  Today has had me on a rollercoaster of emotions. It wasn’t the best of mornings due to actually having to get out my warm, cosy bed. I love my sleep, what can I say? Then when I came down to the salon, some letch was staring at Sam’s ass. Seeing someone like that, leering at her in that way immediately brought up old feelings and I couldn’t stop myself from threatening to cut his balls off if he ever did it again.

  Once I finally managed to get out of there, I made a beeline to confront Lewis. Low and behold, Connor was there.

  My emotions get the better of me and before I know what I’m doing, I throw my hand into Connor’s back. He turns toward me with a shocked expression on his face which changes to confusion the moment he realizes it’s me.

  “You have a nerve still being here,” I grind out.

  He looks over at Lewis as if to say ‘do you know what she’s talking about?’

  “Don’t look at me like I’m a crazy person, you know damn well what I mean! You doing this to her is cruel and I want you gone. She wants you gone too if you didn’t already know that.”

  He frowns at that and stands up to his full height, I don’t find him intimidating whatsoever, but the way Lewis is looking at me with those stormy eyes again makes me forget what I was doing for a moment and I hesitate.

  “And by she, I’m assuming you mean Sammy? And what would I be doing?” I turn back to see Connor leaning toward me, looking so damn sure of himself.

  “Stop acting like an asshole and just admit that you’re in the wrong, you never should have come back here.” I’m holding back on showing him crazy Keeley, barely able to keep my voice to a normal volume.

  “I think we’ve got off on the wrong foot, Lew would you mind if I talked to Keeley alone please?”

  I cross my arms and nod when Lewis looks at me to see if I’m okay with that.

  “Sure, you guys can go on into my office, it’s more private there,” Lewis says as Connor throws his arm out, gesturing for me to go first.

  I storm off toward it trying to calm my breathing, I need to come up with a rational argument, I wasn’t prepared to see him here.

  I lean up against Lewis’s desk and wait for Connor to shut the door behind him. This is the man that’s made my best friend hurt so much, this is the man who left her when she had no one else to turn to.

  “I don’t know what Sammy has told you but-”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit, you know damn well what she’s told me,” I practically snarl at him, and take another deep breath to calm my rising blood pressure.

  “Look, regardless of what she thinks went on, I didn’t just leave her. I had a good reason.”

  I roll my eyes, as if. “You think she’s overreacting then do you?”

  “I never said that. I know you both think I’m a horrible person, I left my best friend at the worst time of her life, right? But I was just a kid myself back then and it wasn’t easy for me either, she could’ve lost us both that night.”

  “But she did lose you both,” I quip.

  He tells me his step dad was after him with a gun that night and if he didn’t leave, then Sam would’ve lost him for good. He also expla
ins about the regular beatings he used to give him and his mom. I’m no virgin to violence, I’ve seen and had my fair share of it myself, so nothing he tell me shocks me.

  I stare up at the ceiling wondering what I should say now. What he’s been through is shitty, but if he feels so bad then why does he keep coming back here?

  “Why would you choose to keep coming back here? Surely that’s a little insane, to risk what happened yesterday? Do you have any idea what you’ve dug back up?” His eyes flash with pain.

  “I didn’t mean for her to ever find out, I’ve always been so careful. It’s something I’ve needed to do for me and I realize how much she’s hurting; believe me I do. Sammy was my everything and seeing her again… look, I’m just going to come right out with it. I need you to try get her to listen to me.”

  Say what now? “Oh do you? You may have spun me a heart wrenching story but it doesn’t take away the fact that you’ve had eight years to drop by and explain this to her yourself. That girl is like a sister to me and I won’t have you coming here ruining everything she’s pieced back together. Tiny piece by tiny piece. We’ve all had hard lives, believe me, but Sam deserves to put the past behind her, for good.” My chest heaves as I think over what I’m about to do. What is the right thing to do? He tries to speak but I put up a finger, silencing him. “But, I can’t shake this feeling that she needs a little closure on the past instead of just burying it away. She has a habit of doing that. I can’t guarantee I can get her to listen to you but there’s a fundraiser Saturday night that we’ll be at, be there and I’ll have her on her own so that you can talk to her.”

  I don’t wait for an answer from him in the fear that I’ll change my mind and tell him not to bother. Is it really such a good idea to go behind Sam’s back like this? Well tough shit it’s a little late for that now.

  Worst idea ever! What the hell was I thinking?

  I didn’t get to speak to Lewis after all, so now on top of all that and the drama from this morning, my mind is so preoccupied that I forget to pick up lunch. So I’m sat here feeling guilty while Sam gets it instead. I slap my forehead. Hell, I’m the worst best friend on the whole planet! I look up at the clock, I have a kids cut due in five minutes and I’m really not in the mood to be around people, but I have no choice.

  I force out a smile as a timid looking woman walks into the salon with a wired looking toddler trailing behind her. She’s around my shoulder height, probably putting her at just over five foot. She’s an itty bitty little thing. “Hey, Faith is it?”

  She nods sheepishly at me and clears her throat. “Yeah, that’s me, but the appointment is for my daughter.”

  She strokes her daughter’s hair lovingly and it makes me smile. The little girl, probably around three or four, bounces up to me. “You have pretty hair.”

  All my worries from five minutes earlier go out the window, I smile at her and kneel down. “Well aren’t you just the sweetest little thing. What’s your name?”

  She twirls her finger in her hair. “Katy, and I’ve just had my birthday.”

  “Is that right? Let me guess, you’re eight,” I say jokingly.

  She giggles. “No silly, I’m four.”

  I laugh and stand up. “Silly me! Well, Katy, shall we get you up in this chair here and make you look like a princess?”

  She beams at me. I’ve always had a soft spot for kids, I don’t know why but there’s something about being around them makes me thaw out my icy exterior. There’s no prejudice with kids, prejudice is learned, you’re not born with it. Kids are always honest and they take everything at face value, I liked that about them.

  Faith lifts her daughter up into the booster I place on the chair and I smile at her as she takes a tentative step away.

  “So what we doing today then?”

  I aim the question at Faith and she clears her throat. “She just needs a trim, thank you.”

  She gives me a weak smile and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking if she’s okay. “Would you like a coffee or anything while you wait?”

  She shakes her head. “No, thank you though.”

  I give her a once over. She’s wearing a well worn pale blue summer dress and I notice it’s way too big for her, she catches me looking and I quickly turn back toward Katy. “How good are you at playing musical statues?”

  She grins at me in the mirror in front of her. “I can be a statue for a long time.”

  Faiths snorts and I smile over at her before turning back to Katy. “Oh I bet you can, can you show me now while I cut your hair?”

  She freezes, her eyes filled with concentration as I go about cutting her beautiful long blond hair. I spin her chair around and start cutting her bangs.

  I pull a funny face when I finish and she giggles. “All done, princess. What do you think?”

  I turn the chair toward the mirror again and she runs her fingers through the blond strands. “I look pretty, mommy?”

  Faith comes over and the way she interacts with Katy completely changes her demeanor. Her back straightens up and she smiles wide making her sad face light up, and for the first time, I notice she’s beautiful.

  “The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

  She lifts her off the seat and Katy runs to me to cling onto my leg. “Thank you!”

  She giggles and it resonates through me, making me feel a lot lighter.

  “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

  Faith pays up and I notice her demeanor change again as soon as she steps out the door onto the street, her back hunches over a little and she keeps her head down, watching Katy the whole time. I’ve never seen her around town before, maybe she’s just new and shy? I watch her disappear up the street and I don’t know why, but I feel a strange sort of connection to her. I want to run out to her, but I don’t.

  I shake my head and make my way into the back room, flipping on the coffee pot. Now Katy’s giggle isn’t filling up the salon, my mood from earlier starts weighing itself down on me again.

  “Kee?”

  I jump. “Jeez, you scared me!” Sam stands there holding a fast food bag out to me. “Thanks, Sam, I’m starving.” I take it from her and pull out the burger, taking a bite out of it.

  “Yeah, I can tell. I was saying… if Mr Carter comes in early, can you tell him I’ll be back soon? I’m just going over to the Gracefield’s to see about those tables.” With my mouth full, I give her a thumbs up. “Thanks, see you in a bit.”

  I give her a little wave and take another bite out of my cheeseburger.

  Sam has been working tirelessly on this fundraiser, so the least I can do is try to perk her up a little. We’ve spent the night in front of the TV again and I’m bored.

  I’m bored of watching documentaries and not getting up to anything fun, I’m bored of the monotony. I don’t want to go to a bar to grind all over random guys or anything, I just need something to do, so I pull Sam up off the sofa and start looking for outfits for the fundraiser. She’s put so much effort into making the venue look nice that I think we should do the same for ourselves.

  I pick out a purple top and denim shorts for Sam and wear my usual ripped shorts and baggy tank top with a chequered shirt around my waist. It takes up a little bit of time and is a worthy distraction to my wandering mind.

  Truth is, since Sam got back from Sharlington earlier, I just can’t stop feeling guilty. She won’t expect Connor to be there tomorrow night, and I’ve led him there, but she needs to hear him out so she can move on, at least that’s my reasoning and I’m sticking to it. And while we’re there, there’s no reason why we can’t have a little fun before he turns up either. I plan on showing her that it’s okay to let go sometimes and let yourself feel, although I can’t ever take my own advice. As soon as Connor turns up, I’ll make myself scarce. I’m under no illusion I’ll be accepted at yet another town event, even if I’m helping decorate the place, they still won’t care.

  “Is Lewis going do you know?” Sam asks.
>
  I scoff at her, “How would I know? It’s not as if I care.”

  She laughs, “Yeah, and I don’t care about coffee.”

  My hand flies to my mouth and I gasp. “Did you just compare Lewis to coffee? How dare you, he isn’t all that. Anyway, I’m not planning on sticking around long enough to find out. The people here don’t like me, Sam, I’m an outsider to them even after all this time, so I’d rather just show my face then leave.”

  She takes her time getting into her pajamas before answering me. “You’re not an outsider, Kee. They just haven’t gotten a chance to get to know your sarcastic self yet.” I flip her off. “See! That’s the Kee we all know and love.”

  I swat her hand away as she pinches my cheek. “Yeah and if they keep staring at me like I have a third arm, they won’t get to know me. I have all the friendship I need, right in this little apartment.”

  “Ah, don’t tell me you’re going soft on me,” she says with a wink. I ignore her and flip her off again as I walk out of her room.

  “That’s my girl!” She calls out behind me, and I can’t help but laugh at her when I’m back in my own room.

  I was so full of nervous energy about today that I couldn’t damn well sleep. We’ve spent the morning decorating for the fundraiser and my conscience is still niggling at me. ‘You should warn Sam that Connor will be there’ but I choose to ignore it, yet again.

  My conscience could be wrong anyway, I’m pretty sure me being up before her this morning alerted her to the fact that something is off. If that didn’t do it, then I’m sure me acting weird about the biker guy turning up did. I just couldn’t help it.

  My mind wanders back to this morning.

  I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than spend my Saturday morning decorating, but I reminded myself I was doing this for Sam. On our way to the community hall I swear someone is following us in a van, but as we turn off main street, it carries on driving ahead and I relax.