When I'm With You (Little Hollow #2)

by Danielle Dickson

  Walking back into her room, she’s dressed but in a daze and doesn’t seem to be getting a move on, so I grab her purse as well as mine, and usher her out of the door. “I’ve only had one beer so I’ll drive, where are we headed?”

  “Erm, St. John’s hospital. My mom was taken in earlier and had to have her stomach pumped.” Fuck. “She was fine earlier, Kee, sober as a nun and all pumped up about this potential new job. I don’t understand.”

  “That’s the thing, it never makes any sense,” I say faintly.

  It never did make any sense when they got themselves in this state. One minute they were the perfect mom, then the next you were holding their hair back as they puked over the toilet.

  There was a time I had been in this very situation, running to the hospital on my own at fourteen years old, not knowing what would meet me there.

  We arrive at the hospital and run up to the emergency entrance desk, Sam asking where her mom is. I’m wrapped up in my own thoughts as we’re told and I steel myself for what’s to come, tonight isn’t about me. I look over at Sam briefly and squeeze her shoulder, she doesn’t look well at all.

  I’m going to try to be there for her as much as I can, but I’m so stuck in my own head, I zone out.

  One… two… and a half bottles. That’s one less than last time, so maybe it won’t be so bad? The sound of a crash has me running to the other end of the house. I grit my teeth as I enter her room, there on the floor with blood running down the side of her head, is my mom. Of course I’m scared, but I’m a little bit numb to finding her like this lately.

  I check her pulse and put her in the recovery position my friend had shown me, and then I call 911. It seems to take forever before they’re finally pulling up. The flashing blue lights make me retreat into my shell as I move out the way for the paramedics to attend to my mom. One of them asks me a question and I shake my head, no, there’s no one else here. They ask if there’s someone I can call to come and get me and I don’t even have to think.

  “Yeah, my friend just lives down the bottom of the street. I can go stay at theirs until my dad get’s back,” I say with a shrug.

  I should be more affected, but I just want to get out of here and to my safe place. I yearn to be able to just live with Hunter and his family. I’ve known him since I was old enough to walk, and his mom, Arlene, has always been there for me, they both have.

  It’s just a matter of time before I get taken away from here. I pray for it every single day. I love my mom, but even at twelve years old I know I’ve lost her, and my dad is too busy with club business to even care about what’s going on around him. He checked out on us a long time ago in favor of the club. Whenever I try to bring it up he shouts and tells me I shouldn’t be running my mouth off telling everybody our business, like the neighbors and club members don’t already know that my mom’s an alcoholic and he’s a waste of space.

  What I didn’t know at such a young age is that the club has the system in their pockets, and they will turn a blind eye to the likes of me being left to fend for myself with an alcoholic for a few bucks or a favor. What a messed up world we live in.

  One of the paramedics walks over and wraps me up in a blanket, I relish in the feel of their arms around me, even if it is only for ten seconds, it’s ten seconds more than I normally get.

  I shake my head to rid it of the memories and trail behind Sam through the hospital toward her mom’s room.

  The next couple of hours go by in a blur, I give Sam some space to go see her mom on her own, and in that time she speaks to a doctor. Cindy’s going to be okay eventually but they’ve had to put her into a medically induced coma and of course that sounds worrying, even if she is being brought out of it soon.

  Just after I’d left Sam to have alone time with her mom, I text Lewis. It was the only thing I could think of to do, I don’t know anybody else in Little Hollow. He arrives half an hour later, much to my surprise.

  “You didn’t have to come, I just wanted to let you know that I probably wouldn’t be around to go riding with you tomorrow,” I say, trying not to look him in the eye as he sits down beside me.

  “Of course I didn’t need to come, but I wanted to be here.”

  He squeezes my knee and as his hand lingers there, I have a strange feeling wash over me. It kinda feels like my brother just touched me inappropriately, it feels weird and my skin prickles with unease.

  I shuffle sideways and his hand drops. “Thanks for coming, I’m sure Sam will appreciate it.”

  A throat clears and I look up into warm brown eyes. Connor? What’s he doing here? I turn toward Lewis and I have my answer.

  “You called him?” Lewis nods and I look at Connor. “She asked you to leave, Connor. You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just need to know she’s alright, then I promise I’ll leave.”

  I scan his face, I’m sure she asked him to leave out of confusion, she was upset and didn’t know what she was doing. Maybe in her time of need she’ll allow herself to just feel instead of over-analyzing things?

  I sigh. “We’ve been allowed to stay in a family room across the hall from where they’ve got Cindy. I’ll take you to her but if she starts freaking out, you need to leave. Got it?”

  He nods and follows me toward the room she’s in, asking me questions. I stare straight ahead of me as I relay the information that Sam has told me and when we reach the room, I clear my throat holding out a bottle of water to him.

  “I told her I’d get her some water, give her this.” He hesitates before taking it out of my hand. “Well, go on then. You made your bed, now go lie in it.”

  I smile at him sarcastically, am I going behind her back again? I sigh and make my way back to the waiting room, seeing Lewis waiting where we left him.

  “I really did think I was helping,” he says, shrugging.

  I smile and sit down next to him. “Yeah I know, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea really. I’m just worried how Sam will take him being here. Who knows? She might even decide there’s more important things in life than the past.”

  I look across from us at a man that’s holding a bloody rag attached to his hand and cringe.

  “Daddy? What’re you doing?” I gasp.

  I’m five years old and I’ve stumbled into our garage after hearing screams. There’s a man tied up with chains in a starfish pose and he has something over his mouth. My friend Hunter’s dad is here and three more men, all holding different tools.

  He stalks over to me and says, “Daddy’s busy, honey. You need to go find your mom, you’ve got no business being in here.”

  I glance over at the hanging man, he’s losing blood by the second from deep gashes across his chest and mine constricts as his begging gaze focusses on me.

  “NOW, Keeley!” He shouts.

  I jump and run out the garage, away from all the blood.

  I wish my mind would get the memo about the past not being important. The sight of blood doesn’t bother me, it’s the memories that it brings with it that does. I look around the emergency room trying to think of anything but my past, I spot Connor walking past us with determination, an unreadable look on his face.

  I jump up and grab his arm. “What happened?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing, I need to go. Take care of my girl.”

  His girl? He doesn’t say anything else, just walks right out the doors and Lewis rubs my shoulders as I stare after him.

  “Kee? Lewis?” Shit. I turn toward Sam knowing she’ll be mad as hell at me. “I thought so.”

  “Don’t blame me, blame this goon here who called him.” I slap Lewis’s shoulder.

  “Sorry, Sam. I thought… I dunno what I thought. That it would help?” He says, running a hand over his face.

  She stands there and waves him off as if it isn’t important and asks where he’s gone. Looking over at Lewis, he looks as confused as I feel.

  “Well, he left.” I shrug.


  Wait, why does she look so upset?

  “So, he’s really gone then?” She asks, staring at the automatic doors.

  “Lewis.” I have a feeling she needs to talk so I motion for him to make himself scarce, but he just stares at me. “Men! Would you go get us a cup of coffee please?”

  I smile and thank him as he stands up, still looking a little confused.

  Sam laughs, sitting down in the sage green chair beside me, and I turn to her and tell her Connor really did mean well. She doesn’t know how lucky she is right now but I think she’s starting to see it as she admits she hadn’t wanted him to leave.

  “What am I going to do?”

  I shrug. “What do you want to do? The ball’s in your court, Sam.”

  I can tell she’s exhausted even trying to sort through the mess in her head, and she clearly wants to be alone because she tells me to go home.

  I hesitate and say, “You’ll text me as soon as you know anything?”

  She forces out a smile and I pull her into my arms for a hug. She tenses at first before melting into me, letting me know she needs this. She pulls away and says goodbye as I walk in the direction I saw Lewis head in earlier. I want to find him and tell him I’m going home now, it was a huge waste for him to come here but I know why he came. How am I going to tell him that I don’t see him in that way? He’ll be one hell of a good friend, but the romantic feelings are all one sided.

  I spot him bashing a vending machine in frustration and I giggle watching him.

  “I think you’ve hurt its feelings.”

  He turns and lets out a hearty laugh. “It deserves it, it hurt mine first. All I want is my Hershey’s bar.”

  I sidle up beside the machine and throw my shoulder into it, smirking as I hear the clink of the candy falling.

  “Show off. I loosened it for you,” he mumbles, pouting.

  He takes the bar out of the machine and we walk toward the emergency room.

  “Sam said we should just take off and come back tomorrow. No point in all of us being here when nothing is going to change before then.”

  I lean over and take a bite of his Hershey’s bar. “Hey! You’re not entitled to eat the prize just because you helped.”

  He raises a brow at me and his gray eyes sparkle with humor. I stand with my hands on my hips, staring at him and lunge for the candy, taking it out his hand in a flash and run toward my car. I can hear him following me so I run as fast as I can in my tight jeans. I reach my car just as I feel his hands come around my waist and pick me up.

  “Aaah! Put me down!”

  He lowers me with my back against the car and his hands drop from my waist and reposition themselves either side of my body, effectively trapping me.

  “Is that better?” He says, only a few inches away from my face.

  My chest heaves from running, I’m not sure what’s going to happen until it’s too late. His lips are on mine and I curse myself for putting us in this position. Not wanting to give him mixed signals, I stand still and don’t reciprocate the kiss.

  “Text me when you’re coming back tomorrow,” he says, pulling away slightly, his lips brushing against mine one last time.

  All I can do is stare at him and nod as he walks away.

  I found it hard getting to sleep with everything swirling around my head. I wish I could say it’s because I’m worried about Sam and her mom, but all I can think about is gray eyes. I can’t work through my feelings, that kiss took me by surprise and although I didn’t reciprocate it, I can’t deny that it stirred up some emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. He’s a handsome guy, so shoot me.

  I also couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched when I arrived home last night, and it still hasn’t gone away this morning. I jump as my cell dings and I shoot up out of bed to grab it, reading the text from Sam.

  Tests show my mom’s an alcoholic, go figure. She has a concussion and they’ve said she needs to go to rehab, like I didn’t know that already! Anyway, they’re going to start waking her up soon so I’m going to get some fresh air before that happens. S

  I roll my eyes at her first sentence and text back saying I’ll get a shower and head there with ‘provisions’, meaning coffee, clothes and a toothbrush. I’m not letting her walk around talking to people with poop breath.

  I stretch and get a shower, dressing in a tank and jeans when I’m finished. I stare at my cell as I dry my hair, wondering if I should just text him? It doesn’t mean anything other than he’d asked me to, right?

  I tut at myself, grow a pair Kee!

  I pick up my cell and click on Lewis’s contact name to send him a text telling him I’m headed to the hospital.

  Arriving at the hospital a half hour later, I knock on the room Cindy is in and hear Sam’s tired voice telling me to come in. Seeing Cindy all hooked up to the tubes and wires makes my stomach roll but I shake my head and ask Sam how she is.

  “Still under, they said they’d bring her around forty minutes ago, but I guess they’re busy. So I’ve just been sat with her since.”

  She shrugs as if it’s a normal thing to be talking about her mom being brought out of a coma. I admire her ability to hide her emotions, I always wear mine on my sleeve, well, my fake ones anyway. She looks into the bag I’ve brought her, pulling out her toothbrush.

  “Thanks for this, Kee, my teeth were starting to feel furry.”

  I chuckle and follow her out toward the bathroom, jumping to sit on the counter beside the wash basin as she changes in the cubicle and comes out to brush her teeth.

  “I met someone this morning,” she says all of a sudden, looking into the mirror in front of her and my head spins toward her.

  “What?” I ask, completely confused.

  When I’d left the hospital last night, I was sure she wanted Connor to come back.

  Seeing the look on my face she scoffs. “Not like that. I meant that I talked to someone this morning that made a lot of sense, and I feel like I’m ready to forgive Connor.”

  I raise my brows and a smile picks up the corner of my mouth. “Yeah, I thought as much. You may not have known it, but I knew last night.”

  It’s her turn to raise a brow. “Well that doesn’t surprise me, you always do have a kind of sixth sense when it comes to me.” She laughs and throws the bag over her shoulder. “I guess I should get back to my mom.”

  My throat constricts, not ready to go back into that room with the beeping machines, and I point in the opposite direction. “I’m just going to go grab something to eat. I didn’t have breakfast.”

  She nods. “You know where I’ll be.”

  I force out a quick smile that I hope looks comforting, and walk toward the cafeteria. I don’t want to alert Sam that I have all these emotions going through my head, I feel like I’m not fully present with her. She’s my best friend and I’ve never had that before with a girl. Sure, I’ve had girls that I would consider my friends, but never one I would call a best friend.

  Every friend I’d had in school stopped hanging around with me after their parents found out who my dad was, like it was somehow my fault that he’d chose to be in a motorcycle club. When the only kids left to hang out with came from broken homes or were biker brats themselves, I quickly fell into the wrong crowd. None of them cared about me, and I’m glad I saw that before I got into too much trouble.

  “Freddie, I want you to take me home… now.”

  Sat in the passenger seat of his classic mustang, I grip the leather as he careens around another corner, shifting the gears on the stick shift.

  “But I thought we were having so much fun, baby girl,” he sneers beside me, clearly aware of how scared I am.

  I hate when he drives like this. We’ve been dating for the past four months and the novelty of him being three years older than me has wore off. When he first asked me out, I thought I was the luckiest girl in school. Freddie Ryan never dated younger girls, I was the first he’d shown interest in so it made me feel special. He t
old me he loved me after just two weeks, and coming from a home with so little love, I put my all into him. But I’m starting to see the kind of guy he really is and I have the feeling he’s only putting up with me so I’ll put in a good word with my dad when he wants to patch into the club in two months.

  I straighten up to face him as he pushes on faster through the streets of downtown. “I said I want to go home, Freddie! If you won’t take me, just stop and let me out here!”

  He slams his foot down on the brakes with such force, my body strains against the belt and my head jolts forward. He swings around in his seat and grabs my jaw, his bloodshot eyes showing evidence of the fact he’s been using today.

  “What have I told you about raising your voice to me, baby girl?” He grinds out through gritted teeth.

  I try to pull my head away but his fingers holding my jaw tighten. “Get off, Freddie, you’re hurting me.”

  “In case you’ve fuckin’ fforgot, you don’t talk back to me! Fuck! I thought going out with a biker brat would be more fun than this, but you ain’t anythin’ more than a kid!”

  He throws my head back and it cracks off the window. I may only be fifteen, but I’m no push around. I unclip my belt and reach into my purse, spraying my pepper spray in his face as I sit up.

  He screeches and splutters, rubbing at his eyes. “You fuckin’ bitch!”

  Before I can hear any more, I drop the can, pick up my purse, and run out the car into an alley to hide away from him just in case he decides to follow me.

  I wait until I hear his tires screech away ten minutes later. I don’t know why I keep falling for these kinds of guys, or perhaps I do. The guy I really want doesn’t want me back.

  I want better for myself than someone like my dad and he seemed great at first, but he’s shown his true colors. This also means I can’t hang out with my group of friends anymore because he’s always there, not that any of them will care, they only put up with me because I was his piece of ass.

  I shake my head. I have no idea why that memory resurfaced. It’s such an inconsequential part of my past at such a trivial part of Sam’s future that I decide to grow some balls and just go on in there and stop concentrating on what’s going on in my mind.