Mind Over Mind

by Karina L. Fabian

  Suddenly, Ydrel stopped, his eyes wide, his chest heaving. He stared at the branch he held, then dropped it as if it were something poisonous. He looked like he was waking from a nightmare. “Josh, you gotta help me,” he said, his voice edged with panic. “He’s out of control and I can’t block him! And he’s manic now, so we’re happy—too happy. But when he gets violent, if I can’t block him…Josh, you gotta help me! I don’t want to hurt anybody!”

  “Whoa! Slow down!” Joshua closed the distance and grasped Ydrel by the shoulders. Ydrel looked up at him with an expression of anguish. His eyes were pinning wildly, dilating and contracting as if someone were flashing a strobe. Joshua had expected something like that; he’d seen it before in him. But this time was wilder, as if Ydrel was fighting for control. “Focus on me,” he told Ydrel. “Use your other senses. C’mon, what do I look like?”

  “Um…” Ydrel looked about, confused. He shut his eyes.

  Joshua shook him gently but firmly. “Focus! What color is my skin?”

  “Um, black.” He gasped.

  “You can do better than that. Get specific.”

  “Sure. Right. Specific. Brown, like somewhere between the color of my headboard and the frosting on that awful chocolate cake.” His breathing was slowing, his eyes settling to a more normal focus as he scanned his friend’s face. “And your eyes are darker brown, clearer, and your hair is black, short and flat on the top. Your nose is a little flat. You’re—” he grinned a quick nervous smile, “really not my type.” He gave a nervous laugh, one that threatened to break loose into hysterics again.

  Joshua spoke calmly and firmly. “You can do this. Focus on me, my face, my voice. Tell me what’s going on. Who’s out of control? Who can’t you block?”

  Ydrel swallowed hard. He was shivering from effort. “Greg McDougal. They put him in the room next to mine. He’s manic-depressive, bi-polar, and he isn’t taking his medication. But he’s good at hiding it, and Malachai’s not letting anyone check up on him. But he projects! Josh, he’s so high, he wants to climb trees and jump and sing and he can’t and I’ve been trying to block him, I have, all weekend I tried and I kept hoping Tasmae would Call me and she never did, and I’m having a hard time blocking other people too and it’s happening all over again—”

  “Ydrel, if he were half as gone as you’re acting, there’s no way he could have hidden it. Someone would have noticed.”

  “What, so you’re saying this is my fault? Maybe I’m like some kind of buffer or sponge or something, picking up his mania while he acts all calm and normal. You think this is fun? You think I like feeling this way?” Real or imagined, Ydrel’s own happy mania was giving way to irritability. Joshua thought quickly. Sachiko must have told Edith by now; if Joshua didn’t find some way to bring Ydrel around, and fast, he’d probably end up in a straitjacket or medicated.

  Here’s hoping I don’t get fired…“Ydrel, focus! Focus on my feelings. Let them in. Soak them in instead of McDougal’s.” And he concentrated on projecting calm, steady, determination—

  “Who are you kidding?” Ydrel laughed. “You’re so in love you want to go singing and turning cartwheels, yourself!”

  Well, I was right about that, at any rate. Josh smiled, but spoke sternly. “That’s the infatuation. Look past that. Deeper.” He filled his mind with thoughts of how centered and comfortable he felt. He let that quiet happiness fill him, and he watched Ydrel’s breathing slow. Gradually, his trembling ceased.

  “Better,” Ydrel finally said. He took a deep cleansing breath. “For the moment, anyway.”

  “First things first, then. What happened to your shields?”

  “Gone. McDougal’s been next door since noon Sunday, and Malachai didn’t let either of us leave our rooms. He’s punishing me because I refused to do tricks for him—”

  “We’ll worry about that later,” Joshua cut him off. “Right now, let’s concentrate on rebuilding your shields, OK?” Ydrel nodded. “You ever meditate?”

  “I’m not meditating!” Ydrel flared. “I tried that before. It opened a floodgate. Josh, I’m so tired, and I can’t concentrate. I tried, honest!”

  “Easy. I’m just thinking of ways to get you focused. You finish Arrow’s Flight? How about Myth Adventures that I gave you Friday? Good. C’mon, we’re starting to draw attention.” He let go of Ydrel’s shoulders and put a friendly arm around him instead, leading him out from under the tree to a flat sunny area. He let the client go, then stretched out on the soft, well-manicured grass. He jerked his head at a spot next to him that would place himself between Ydrel and the institute building. “Lie down. Pretend you’re looking at the clouds.”

  Ydrel looked at his intern friend as if he should be the one committed, but did as he was told. “I don’t see how this will help,” he said doubtfully.

  “Maybe it won’t, but unless you’ve got a better idea, try it my way a minute, all right? Remember when Talia and Kris were trapped in the blizzard and Talia’s empathy got out of her control? We’re going to try a little ground and center just like Kris taught her. So, I want you to imagine your power like an anchor, or maybe a drill, with a strong line tying it back to you. Go ahead. Let me know when you’ve got it.”

  He waited, and finally Ydrel muttered, “Maybe...OK.”

  “Good. That’s your ground. You can use it to pull energy to steady you when you’re buffeted by outside forces. Ready? Now plunge it into the ground.” As he waited, he folded his hands behind his head and crossed his legs, trying to look as if they’d just decided to hang out and watch the clouds. Otherwise, he kept his silence, trusting in Ydrel’s imagination to help him accomplish the task.

  After a long moment, he heard his friend say, in a somewhat surprised voice. “Wow. OK. What’s next?”

  “Well, it seems to me you’ve picked up a lot of useless energy. See, we all give and receive energy from each other—everybody and everything, even plants and water and rocks. To plants and rocks and such, energy is just energy; they take in what they can use and pass the rest on. Humans, though, because we’re sentient, emotional creatures, tend to translate energy into positive or negative: positive, and you feel happy and stable; negative, and you may feel initially stoked, but then irritated or nervous.”

  “So being in love is positive energy?”

  “Oh, yeah. But do me a favor and keep that little gem of information to yourself. Sachiko wants to play things cool, and I don’t want to scare her off.”

  “I don’t remember this in any of those books.”

  “Oh, it’s not. It’s in some pop psych book I read, I don’t remember offhand which, but it’s still useful information. It works for me when I’ve had a rough day or I have to deal with someone I don’t like. Back to you. You are full of negative energy; you’re shaking with it. It’s no wonder you’re having trouble keeping things coherent. So we’ve got to get rid of that energy so you can focus and load up on the good stuff. Make sense? You still with me?”

  “Yeah, yeah, just…let’s hurry.” Ydrel’s voice was strained and his breathing was starting to accelerate again. “So how do I get rid of it?”

  “You’ve got your ground. Shunt it through there. What I do is imagine all that nervous energy flowing out my fingertips, like a river, washing out upon the ground—”

  “But it’s not ‘nervous energy!’ It’s all these thoughts and feelings and—and they’re not mine and they keep coming in. How do I deal with that?”

  Joshua sat up and turned to face his prone friend. Ydrel lay stiffly on the ground, his hands at his sides, fingers slightly dug into the grass. Despite the muggy heat, he was barely sweating. Joshua wiped the sweat off his own face while he thought. This wasn’t the first time he’d played into someone’s fantasy, but it was certainly the most sustained and the most complex. “Ydrel, I’m not psychic, and I don’t know anyone who is, or even if there are any reputable books on the subject. I’m playing this by ear, and you’re going to have to help me. One thing I
do know, anything getting through your shields is obviously bombarding its way in, and you’re so tensed up that nothing’s getting out. You’re so uptight, you’re not even sweating. You look like rigor mortis has set in.

  “It’s like a dam in a flood, does that make sense? If you don’t release some of the water, the pressure builds and the dam breaks, so you release it in a controlled way. So, if you relax, let all those thoughts and emotions and energy flow through you, even if more come in, you’ll still relieve some of the pressure. Make sense? OK. Start with a couple of breaths. Good. Remember your ground; you’re not going adrift. Let your body get heavy. Feel the muscles get warm. Feel your pores open up. Each invading thought, each outside feeling is like a bead of sweat. Let them out, feel them seeping out your pores. Feel the tension leave through your grounding line, pulling the energy, the outside thoughts with it…”

  He continued this way for a few minutes, guiding him through relaxation, watching as Ydrel’s muscles loosened and went slack. Sweat began to bead up, then trickle down his face and dampened his blond hair. Gradually, his trembling eased and his breathing slowed.

  When he spoke, his voice was closer to its normal timbre. “It’s better. I can still feel all these thoughts coming in, but they’re just sort of…passing through. It’s kind of a crawly feeling.”

  “Well, you look more relaxed. Shake yourself out a little. Make yourself more comfortable. That’s it. Think you can concentrate now?”

  “I think so. For the moment, anyway.” Ydrel put his hands behind his head, pillowing it, and bent one knee up.

  “Good. Now let’s work on your shields. Remember what Aahz said about ley lines in Myth Adventures? Use your abilities to sense around you. See if you can find a ley line around here.”

  “How?”

  “Well, what’d Aahz say? Sort of, focus without focusing. I know.” He lay back down so he could look at the sky. A few billowy white clouds graced the field of blue. “You ever look for shapes in the clouds? It helps sometimes to not look at them too hard, just let your mind and imagination take you where it will. Try that.”

  It was only a moment before Ydrel nearly shouted. “That’s amazing! It’s right there!” He pointed to a spot to the right. “It practically goes over the building! And there’s another one over there, like toward New York. How come I never noticed them before?”

  “Never looked, I’ll bet. Now what you need to do is tap the line. And no, I don’t know for certain how. Imagine another ground line. Um, reach out with a psychic hand. But be careful. You don’t know how much energy you’re dealing with. Once you figure that out, start putting it into your shields. Tell me about your shields. What are they like?”

  “Malachai helped me with them when I first got here, only he made me meditate and hypnotized me.” Ydrel shuddered. “They’re like big stone walls around my mind. They block out everything, but there are windows I can open when I need to. That was the theory, anyway. Even on good days, it doesn’t work that well, but at least enough that I can cope.” Again, he shuddered and gasped. “Joshua, I need to do something fast.”

  “Tell you what. Start with the walls. Translate the energy into stone. E=mc2, right? Then, we’ll try some other things—different materials, multiple walls. You’re the military strategist; use that knowledge to your advantage for a change.” Joshua glanced at his watch. “Ydrel, I’m sorry to do this, but I have to meet Drs. Malachai and Sellars in fifteen minutes. You want to stay here and work on your shields?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think I can do this if I’m too close to people, especially McDougal. You don’t have to tell Malachai I’m out here, do you? He kept me cooped up in my room all day yesterday. He’s trying to get me to use my powers for him, like some trained dog. He’s going to be mad I slipped my leash.”

  “He probably knows already. The orderlies have seen you since you came out this morning and when I came out here, Sachiko was about to let Edith know. If it’s any consolation, we’ve been out here nearly half an hour and no one’s run you off yet. And, if I can, I’ll go talk to this McDougal before I see the doctors. If he’s off his meds, they need to know.”

  “Malachai knows,” Ydrel snapped. “Why do you think he moved him next to me?”

  “Right. Sorry. But if I talk to him, let him know I know...If others are noticing, he has to do something, right? Really, he’s not going to risk his reputation or the institute’s to punish you, is he?”

  “I suppose not,” Ydrel grumbled doubtfully.

  “Just stay here. Take in energy. Build your shields. Shunt out the negative stuff. I’ll catch you as soon as my afternoon appointments are over and we’ll make dinner and figure out some improvements, promise.” Again, he glanced at his watch. “I have got to go. I don’t know why Malachai called this special meeting but I’ve already been warned not to be late with him.”

  *

  Ydrel watched his intern friend sprint across the compound with a pang of jealousy. Must be nice to have your biggest worry be whether or not you’re on time to a meeting. That, and figuring out how to apply your favorite novels to a so-called “real” psychic.

  He knew he wasn’t being fair; Joshua’s ideas had actually helped. He could feel the thoughts and feelings of others coursing through him, passing through his ground rather than bombarding his mind with images. It made him feel antsy, like he’d been given too many amphetamines or had too much adrenaline in his body, but at least he wasn’t being overwhelmed. Nonetheless, he needed to rebuild his barriers and soon.

  He looked again for the ley line. There it was, a wispy none-too-straight line where the air was a shade darker than the surrounding sky. He realized now he’d noticed it before, but passed it off as an optical illusion. What an idiot he was.

  Just like with the books, he grumbled. All the time I spent fruitlessly searching the school’s nonfiction sections and I should have just boned up on my fantasy! He felt the temptation to berate himself, and forced it down. He knew where that would lead. Instead, he gazed up at the ley line until he could feel it as well as see it. Then he closed his eyes and imagined reaching up to it, gently—

  “Wake up, Stephens!” The harsh voice broke Ydrel’s concentration. It was Paulie, the orderly, and he was mad. “Get up. Dr. Malachai wants you back in your room.”

  “Joshua said I could hang out here a while longer.” The words were out of Ydrel’s mouth before he could stop them. The proximity of Paulie and the strength of his anger were threatening the last of Ydrel’s already badly eroded barriers. Now, contempt was added to the offense.

  “Oh, are we taking orders from the intern instead of the head of this institution?” he sneered, and Ydrel felt him resisting the urge to kick him. “Get up. Move.”

  I don’t have to see the line. I can find it by feel. I’ve got my ground. I can do this. Nonetheless, he trembled with apprehension as he followed the orderly back to his room.

  CHAPTER 20

  Joshua paused at Dr. Malachai’s office door and took a deep breath to ease some of his own apprehension. He’d managed to stop by Mr. McDougal’s room, and it had only taken a couple of minutes to see that if he was taking his medication, it wasn’t working. Then, when he’d taken the chance and asked him about it outright, the client had lied through his teeth. Malachai wasn’t stupid. He had to at least suspect. So why move him now? And why next door to the most sensitive person in the ward? And how could Joshua bring this up without sounding as paranoid as Ydrel?

  Play it by ear, he told himself as he knocked and entered. You don’t even know what this meeting is about. Maybe he’s going to explain all this. Yeah, right.

  His doubts were justified as soon as he saw Edith’s face—disappointed, and a little sad. Dr. Malachai’s expression was neutral but stern, and there was a hint of a glint in his eyes. Together, the two spelled trouble to Joshua, but he refused to jump to conclusions. “Good afternoon, sir. Edith.”

  “Sit down, Mr. Lawson,” Dr. Malachai indicated
a seat near Edith. He did not take his usual spot behind the big desk, but rather perched himself casually on its edge, arms crossed. He stared at Joshua expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something.

  Since Joshua had no idea what this was about, there was no way he was going to make the first move. Instead, he met and kept the senior psychiatrist’s gaze and waited. In his peripheral vision, he saw Edith look from one to the other. He felt a little bad for excluding her, but he was not about to look her way. It might look like he was asking her for help, and he wouldn’t give Malachai that satisfaction. He waited. The moment stretched.

  Finally, Malachai broke the silence. “We wanted to discuss some concerns about your internship, specifically in regards to Ydrel Stephens.”

  “Yes, sir.” He kept his tone and body language carefully neutral. You’ll have to give me more to go on than that if you want any admissions out of me. Of course, I haven’t got anything to confess, really.

  “You’ve been spending a significant proportion of your day with him, and some weekend time, I’m told, acquiring educational and reading materials?”

  “Yes, sir. Per my discussions with you and Dr. Sellars…” Joshua mirrored Malachai’s formal words and tone. If you want to be maddening, I can be maddening. At least until you tell me what this is really about.

  “And what is your assessment of the relationship you’re developing with our young client?”

  “Could you be more specific, sir?”

  Whether in exasperation or simply to break the growing tension in the room, Edith spoke. “Dr. Malachai is concerned you’re feeling pressured to devote too much time to working with Ydrel. No one is criticizing your work with other clients,” she added quickly. “Far from it; I’ve had nothing but the best reports. But you are putting in a lot of extra hours, and there’s concern that you may be feeling the strain.”