Broken Love

by Lucy Harvey

  “These are the only rules I have for you Angel.” My mind wondered to the rules he had given me on our ‘date’. It was apparent he liked order and control, for him I would follow.

  “Number 1 – you only fuck me when I say so. Number 2 – you take everything I give you or nothing at all. Number 3 – the only words to leave this little whore mouth are ‘Yes Roman, No Roman, Fuck me harder Roman but you always call me Roman.” He demanded whilst reclaiming my body.

  Moans and heavy pants filled the air around me. Roman entered another finger inside and began to fuck me with his fingers, expertly hooking them so he rubbed against my sweet spot pushing me towards my undoing.

  “Roman.” I screamed in spine tingling frustration.

  He withdrew his fingers before I got close enough to finish. The heat of his body began to coat my own as clambered on top of me. Forcing his fingers in my mouth he made me suck the remnants of my arousal.

  I tried to complain from the lack of touch on my needy area then he replaced his teasing hands with his wet tongue. I tried to buck my hips and rock my driven body against the base of his firm tongue. Roman held me down and teased my clit by licking all around and breathing his hot seductive breathe over my weak spot. The more I squirmed under his touch the more adamant he was to make me wait.

  “Please.” I cried.

  “Please what Angel?” He asked with his pussy coated lips.

  Cries and moans fled my body escaping me whilst my orgasm so desperately tried to flee with them. This torment was driving me insane.

  “Please Roman.” Him and his damn rules.

  I appreciated the fact he wanted me to call him by his own name, sir was so impersonal and knowing his name on my lips captivated him turned me on.

  I heard the sound of a zipper followed by Roman rubbing his thick erection against the inside of my thigh.

  “What do you want me to do?” He was goading me again, pushing all the buttons, edging me closer to my explosion.

  “Please make me come Roman, I need it so bad.” I knew that answer would not be enough but my mind was so fogged by my need to finish that I could not string a sentence together. He carried on teasing me, licking and nipping around my throbbing arousal as I writhed in torment.

  “I want to hear every single thing you want me to do. From the minute my tongue touches your clit” Finally he slowly grazed his tongue from the entrance slowly reaching to the top of my pussy. “To the moment you are shuddering against me.”

  Taking my clit in between the joining of his teeth I screamed his name.

  “Not just because you want to come but because you need me. Just like I need you. Now if you just want to come Angel we can fuck but if you need me I can take you to the depths of the end. Is that what you want?”

  “I need you more than my next breathe.” I admitted.

  Roman was a poisonous addiction implanting himself into my effected veins. I was not only the hooked damsel selling everything she had for just one more taste, I was equally the culprit supplying the fix with no intention to become clean.

  I prepared for Roman to gently enter me, instead, he abruptly tossed me onto my front. Roman pulled my ass into the air skimming his index finger over my puckered opening and I tried to move forward. My hands were still bundled in front of me making an escape difficult. As though reading my mind Roman arched forward so his arousal was pressed against my back and untied me to retie my hands behind my back. Pulling back on my arms so a slight ache started in my shoulders and my breasts were fully exposed.

  Slam.

  Smack.

  Harder.

  Slam.

  Smack.

  Harder.

  Roman pounded his thick cock into my unprepared hole repeatedly. Brushing his hands over my clit so that I was there. Just a few strokes and I was ready to soar.

  As my body convulsed my mind took a trip to a foreign place. I had never came so hard and violently before. I tried to rebuild my shattered state but Roman didn’t wait, his greedy cock slammed into me and I screamed at the shocking fullness. I thought he was ruining me before but that must have only been a fraction of his cock.

  He wrapped his hand around my throat, his gripping becoming tenser with every mind numbing thrust.

  Roman pounded into my swollen flesh. With his controlling hand maneuvering from my throat to my mouth making me taste my own flavor. Bluntly Roman removed himself from me, lying me down on my back he took the mask from my eyes. As I peered up at him my heart pounded along to the unsteady rhythm of my clit.

  “This.”

  That was all he said before cupping my chin and tipping my head so our mouths were aligned. He kissed and sucked my tongue then erotically licked his tongue against mine. His saliva filling my mouth made both my lips drip with excitement. Slamming back into me my high pitched screams caused him to bite into my flesh. He changed his strategy so that his hips were circling and grinding against my pussy. Before I knew it that same sensation from only moments before was building in my core.

  “Angel.” The endearment ripped from Romans throat as we shuddered against each other. I contracted around Romans jerking cock as his warm finish laced my sex.

  “Fuck” I exhaled looking into his lusting eyes.

  We led there for several moments with Roman collapsed on top of me. With both our heads turned to face each other I could see my own questions appear in his eyes.

  What was this thing between us? Why was it so much?

  The fire that began to cease was once again growing with a destructive vengeance.

  “Angel will never do you justice” He whispered tickling his mouth against my vulnerable Akeley’s heel and with that I was on my back ready to be possessed. Again.

  “That was incredible.” I stated.

  I had never experienced something so liberating.

  Read about it? Yes.

  Dreamt about it? Yes,

  Experienced it? No. Until now. If I had a hard time trying to convince myself to steer clear of Roman before, then the task had just been deemed impossible.

  Relishing in the safety of Romans arms I nuzzled into his bare chest pulling him closer to me. He was exhausted and warn out from the exploring of one another’s salacious ways, half asleep snuggling into my pillow with one muscular arm draped over my naked torso. I snuggled into him as close as my body could get. In this sleepy state his shields were down and he looked beautifully carefree.

  “Roman, what’s your favorite color?” I wanted to know him, all of him, anything about him, just something to differentiate me from the others.

  “Black.” He groaned his response to tell me he was annoyed I was interrupting his peaceful daze.

  “Why? Mine’s black too, everything looks more beautiful with a shadow, and it’s like company I guess.”

  Laughing he pulled me closer into his warm, inviting body.

  “No Angel, your favorite color should be white.”

  “Oh sorry I forgot,” I teased kissing the corner of his mouth, he smiled without opening his eyes.

  We spent the whole evening wrapped in each-others limbs not once attempting to let go. Roman and I equally quizzed each-other about insignificant topics just giving away snippets of personal information, snippets of us. It was the kind of revelations no one else would see the point of acknowledging but to me it was the tiny things that made Roman.

  When morning came the sun shone boldly through the curtains tinting my room with shades of orange and pink. Pulling back the lilac shields hiding the flawlessness of dawn I smiled at the beauty before me, this was one of my favorite views. The way the morning sky lit up everything in its path portraying an end to everything before, lighting up the darkness of what had previously been – literally.

  Roman stood behind me caging me in his arms. Draping a sheet over both of our exposed worn out bodies he pressed a kiss on the top of my muzzled bed head.

  “Morning Angel, are you being summoned or something?” He joked as he con
tinued to trail kisses down the side of my face, I smiled at the connection of his lips and my skin.

  “This right here is my favorite view, it’s so pure and captivating. Yeah, it’s my favorite.” I whispered not intentionally meaning for him to hear but he did.

  “I know the feeling.” He agreed.

  Leaving Roman to sink back into my bed I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and cream my face. Once returning I stopped in my door way to take mental snap shots of another favorite view of mine.

  Watching Roman sleep was like appreciating extravagant art. The way his tattoos so beautifully decorated his entire body drove me wild with curiosity. There was one that appeared to captivate me just a fraction more than the rest of his misunderstood armor, it was as though it spoke to me.

  Painted at the top of his back covering his left shoulder was a portrait of a young girl. I knew all kinds of people had portrait tattoos of Marylyn Monroe or other renowned celebs but his reeked of personal purpose. Maybe it was how life like the picture seemed but deep down I knew it was the lyrics that surrounded it.

  “I’ll keep you locked in my head, until we meet again, my darling who knew?”

  It was another tiny glimpse of him and the many things I thought that he was trying to keep from me. A series of questions began to clog my sheltered mind, and now the undying need to uncover the real Roman would now forever be at the forefront of my mind.

  “You.” The huskiness of Romans morning vocals broke me from my wondering trance. Whilst I was losing my head in the clouds that held every one of his secrets he had his eyes firmly fixated on me.

  “What?” I questioned the randomness of his statement, he could have still been dreaming.

  “You asked me what my favorite view was, it’s you, the way you look at me like I am someone that could be worthy of you. Now it will always be you.” And then he rested his head back on my pillow falling back into a deep sleep as though he had not just turned my world on its axis with such a beautiful sentiment.

  My heart stopped, I could feel it plummet to the bottom of my soul from his breath taking compliment. He was my favorite too, even when he would warn me away and threaten me with leaving he was still beginning to captivate every essence of my being. But my god. That admission had me at a loss for words.

  Not entirely.

  I knew the words I was desperate to use, I could feel them trying to rip through the back of my throat where I held them captive. They screamed “I am falling in love with you Roman, irrevocably, irrationally and undeniably falling in love with you. Extremely hard and scarily fast.”

  To anybody else with a normal head, a normal heart and a normal clutch of life I would seem immature and foolish to confess such things so soon. I did not need time to evaluate how deep the connection led, I just needed to know how his lips felt on mine and how perfect we would feel skin to skin and mind to mind.

  Even that does not do this heart crippling illusion any justice. I knew I could not reveal to Roman just how deeply I was becoming attached, we had come so far in just the space of one evening I did not want anything to undo that. My days of surviving Roman Court were numbered.

  Trying to rationalize my overworking mind I mentally repeated to myself that this was just my fourth time of seeing Roman. Just four encounters. My weak subconscious broke through convincing me I needed him. It was more encounters than Romeo and Juliet and they had taken their lives for each other.

  Love was measured by connection not time.

  Then the sane part of me took over and reminded me of where this had gone before and I settled on keeping the feelings to myself. I clambered back into the warm sheets retaking my position next to him.

  “Please Roman, let me save you.” I whispered along the broadness of his chest finding confidence in the fact he could not hear my plea.

  Curling back into the haven of Romans body I began to drift back into a welcoming slumber.

  “I’m far past saving Angel...”

  Finally, I had let go with Lily and oh boy did it feel good, I was awarded with a sense of peace from letting down the barriers for her. The reality of how natural it felt to be in her presence alarmed me, I thought maybe if I could be in control of this we would some-how work.

  Foolishly I thought that I was controlling Lily, making her come undone and beckoning at my every call. But it was me that would linger after every word she spoke, me waiting for the comfort of her presence and me not wanting to let her go.

  Tearing my betraying arms from Lily’s vulnerable body I wiped the confusion and sweat from my face. Once again I was left trying to convince myself that Lily was no more than a smart mouth and luring pussy.

  She was a devious little intruder trying to worm her way into my fucked up mind. That was all it was. That was all it could ever be. As I knelt my heavy head on the stability of my tattooed arms I gazed at her sleepy state. She looked beautiful¸ she always did. Why did her mother not warn her of guys like me? Of souls as tortured as mine?

  “Please Roman, let me save you?”

  Her request was echoing through me and replaying in my head like a broken record.

  Lily was an Angel, there was nothing more pure and nothing more holy. She was worth more than I could have fathomed. Her downfall and failure of saving me would only humor me. But now I have had her in more ways than I could have anticipated and plan A was foregone.

  When you have spent so long in darkness you forget how to appreciate the light. I could see that Lily would try to drag me out of my own inflicted hell but what she would fail to realize like the many before was that I was here for no other reason than my own choice.

  This soul crushing darkness was what I deserved, it was my fate. This was the closest thing to home my broken ass had the pleasure in experiencing. I threw everything I reluctantly had into building an empire. Control was the center of my warped world but now I was stronger than my past could ever be.

  If I was too leave this bed right now and leave Lily along with it I could try harder to throw myself at the line of salaciously eager chicks waiting to dig their claws into any part of me. Surely it would be only a matter of time before I could forget the warmth of her breasts strained against my chests, her needy nipples tearing into my skin. How her lips would magnetically synch with mine sparking that raw fire deep inside me.

  She needed me to save her but I could not. Saving her would be the disarming undoing of my own mental success. Saving her would be my final downfall.

  So I was left to take the only route I knew and go with the only option I could.

  What if I let her take one look inside me and she never comes back. The ugliness swallows her whole and absorbs every detail that differentiates her purity. Or she realizes how better off she is, she is destined for more. If I continue with these games I can blind her into believing we are going somewhere without ever really moving. She would not seek someone else because her hope would still be mine, yet she would not know enough to make her turn her back.

  If I choose to mask myself with an illusion of what I could be or what we could be she would be lost in limbo incapable of choosing a fate for either of us.

  None of this was fair on her but it was all I could give her. To lose someone else or have them lose their selves because of me was a fate all too familiar. I wanted to give her the stars but I could not stand to rebuild myself after losing another.

  “Ava, Ava? Wake up, Ava please!” My shouting turned into heart aching sobs as I held her lifeless body close to my chest.

  “Say good bye to her Jonah.” I would not say goodbye to her, what had he done to her?

  “What’s happened to her why won’t she wake up?” My cries grew louder and harder as I realized she really wasn’t coming back to me.

  “Ava please I need you.” I whispered.

  “She’s not waking up Jonah.” He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and yanked me away from her bruised and battered body.

  “Why did you do this to her?
She done everything you told her. Why?” I began to lash out beating against his chest. It was no use, he was bigger than I could ever be.

  “She did this to herself you fool, don’t you see, you made her do it. You let her suffer it all because you were too selfish to take the pain yourself, you pathetic little runt.” Slapping the back of his fist against my face he left me in a hysterical cry on the floor.

  I brushed back the dirty unwashed hair from Ava’s sleeping face. Trying to button up her stained dress and rearrange her brokenness for when the angels took her. I found a note in her pocket. The message was written on the back of a picture of us. It was for me.

  ‘My dearest Rome.’

  After that day I swore I would never let anyone else in close enough to take something from me when they eventually left.

  Lily tried to reclaim her hold on me, even in sleep when our minds had no logic we were still drawn to each other. Breaking free from her grasp I gingerly moved out of her bed trying not to wake her as I left, again. Grabbing my black jeans and crumpled t-shirt from the floor I closed the door behind me and changed in the kitchen.

  I headed over to the cupboards in search for pen and paper. Just like I thought Lily had an array of multi-colored stationary items and blank paper, some decorated with insignificant to-do lists or shopping lists but mostly blank. Taking a thick black marker and scrap of paper I left her note, I needed to leave but I had to let her know I would be back.

  “And the end comes too soon,

  Like dreaming of Angels...”

  She knew what it was from and more importantly she knew what it meant.

  Before my legs grew a mind of their own and carried me back into the bedroom where she slept, I headed for the door not taking a look back.

  Maybe one day I would stop running from Lily, for now my heavy head needed time to relax and I just needed space.

  As I stretched out my aching limbs I moved my arm along the warmness of the bed to hold Roman only to find he had already left. The alarm bells stopped ringing once I clocked it was past eleven, of course he needed to get to work. Getting out of bed I wrapped my grey silk robe around my nudeness and headed towards the bathroom.