by Lucy Harvey
The article was a page where girls were pouring their experiences out to each other through the tips of their impaired burned fingers. They were left confused and worn speaking of his devil tongue and menacing vocabulary coaxing even the impassioned into an immoderate need to be his. I swore I would protect myself from his invocation, becoming immune to his incantation.
Every story I read appeared like an edited version of the one before, stating his strategies and manipulations showing how they all endured the same kind of game. Each one of them he called babe. Each one of them he would spin wild with riddles that left them in a misleading daze believing only the best from his deemed romantic monologues.
But he did not call a single one Angel.
There was no mention of special gifts.
To my relief the relationships had all ended at least four years ago. Did that mean he had changed already? Something deep and unsettling told me the reason was more sinister than that.
However, I knew I was different, maybe I would not be the one to change everything and be the one he kept but in some way I was different.
Thinking about Roman was a conflicting task and I was always left in two minds. He felt the same. He did not. Picking petals from a daisy would give me as much insight as my own mind could. For two weeks we had been engaging in this affair but not once had he made love to me or chose to label this connection between us.
Roman drove me wild. Between the most mind numbing pleasure and thoughtful presents I was beyond hooked. But recently when he fucked me it was never PG, I was held in compromising positions and drove to the very end as far as my body would let me venture. Missionary was no longer an option as though after our first two encounters something had clicked and swayed him. I was not complaining I just needed more. Whenever he touched me my body would set alight coming apart into a mixture of contradicting emotions.
At times I was left feeling dirty from the ways he achieved my orgasms. Spanked. Marked. Tied up. I had one night stands and short lived beneficial friendships but if it was something my feelings were becoming entangled with normally sex had not even happened at this point. With Roman I already felt as though he had explored and calculated every inch of my betraying body.
There was no way I could deny the way I responded to him both mentally and physically. I was left reeling in pain of believing my body was not enough for him, that he had to spice it up to actually be interested.
Then I would remind myself of the things he would confess to me when his head forfeited control to his heart.
“Do you see how wild you drive me Angel?”
“Lily can you feel just how perfect we fit together Angel.”
“No one else would feel like this. No one else will feel like you and me.”
Getting Roman to admit his true feelings would not be easy, but they were there, that I was sure of.
“Is that a promise?”
As I began to trail kisses along Romans abdomen he lunged forward ripping my panties to expose my ready state.
“I promise.” Roman groaned into my mouth as he aligned his swollen flesh, dragging me down to rub against his length.
His fingers painfully gripped at my hips as he frantically tried to guide me back and forward making his already iron cock thicker with lust. It was mostly always this way, rough and raw, it banished every ounce of doubt that he did not need me around. He needed me with such intent desire he never truly had control over his own mind.
Screams escaped me as I reveled in how full and stretched I was becoming as I slowly lowered myself onto him. Mentally rewarding myself for holding out until I got what I wanted. I continued to tease him rubbing at my own breasts and batting away his wondering hands.
“I want to hear you say it Roman.” I ordered.
Placing his hand in mine I sucked on his index finger then traced it down tickling over my pebbled nipples.
“Lily, I promise I will go to that stupid couple’s dinner.” He groaned through panting breaths.
I instantly pulled myself off him rubbing the tip of his erection against my entrance. Roman tried to buck up into me, I could see him losing himself to his need to finish.
“Properly Roman.” My tone was patronizing and gleeful, I had him right where I wanted him.
“Lily, I promise to show you off at dinner in front of all our friends.” I lowered myself so I was clenching around the tip of his dick. “Now please fuck me.”
“Oh I like it when you beg.” I mocked.
Slamming down onto his strained length I began to ride him. Entangling my fingers through his ebony coated hair as he lashed his violent tongue against my taught nipples.
“Fuck Lily - this, you, it’s everything.” Roman moaned with his lips vertical to my heart.
It was no longer than mere moments until the familiar clench grew in my stomach and I cried out the evidence of my orgasm. Roman violently jerked inside me as I clenched and shook around him. I slowly cradled him into my chest until my thighs stopped shuddering.
“Wow.” I exhaled looking into his eyes. Those intoxicating brown eyes forever pulling me under.
“Angel will never do you justice.” He whispered tickling his breathe against the vulnerability of my weak spot hidden on my neck. And just like that I was open and prepared to be ruined. Again.
“I enjoyed that Lily.” Roman fully relieved himself of his signature black jeans that had still been wrapped around his calves. I drew in a deep breath as I watched him unravel his leather belt from the bottoms.
“But don’t you ever disobey me again, now are you going to take this like a good girl?” Biting down on my lobe I gulped and nodded like a nodding dog slightly panicked.
Roman tossed my body over so effortlessly and pulled my exposed derriere up towards him. Pulling my hands behind my back he looped the belt around them securing them in place.
“Three, two..”
SLAM
He tore into my sore flesh before preparing me.
I had been a bad girl.
Somehow I was in no rush to become a good one.
“He did what? You get Viktor in my office immediately, I will deal with Odette.”
As I walked out of my on suite and started trying to find something to wear I noticed Roman appeared hostile. He had his once comforting arm reaching over his shoulder scratching the back of his head as he paced near my window. I noted that this was his signature move when he was either agitated or uncomfortable. Mere moments ago he was happily wrapped up in me, the sudden change puzzled me. But then I guess that was Roman.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“It’s fine, why wouldn’t it be?” He snapped in reply.
I let out a defeated sigh and wished I never asked. I guess I was going to have to get used to this front if I wanted to get closer to Roman.
After laying my clothes out on the bed I sat down and watched Roman nervously continue to pace. Mentally I began to battle with what to say to him after he just snapped at me. I needed a way to say ‘you don’t have to tell me but I am here if you need to talk to me’ without implying there was something wrong.
“Stop staring at me like that.” Roman shouted.
His outburst startled me and I just stared at him.
“Stop looking at me like you want to fix me, I’m fine.” His voice was still raised but his confidence began to falter.
“Actually I was wondering what you were going to wear so we didn’t clash.” By the look on his face I could tell that he knew I was lying but he was not annoyed, if anything he was thankful I was diverting the awkwardness.
Roman stalked towards me. Leaning down he placed a gentle kiss on the edge of my nose.
“I’m wearing all black Angel, does that help?” his tone was soft and inviting once again and I released a heavy breathe I didn’t realize I was holding onto.
“You don’t have to do this. If going out with all our friends is what’s bothering you then we can give it a miss, I won’t mind.”
I lied. I would be bothered, if anything I would be devastated.
To appear genuine I got off from my place on the bed and started brushing my hair to avoid eye contact. Then I felt Roman behind me, he wrapped his caging arms around the front of my stomach and nuzzled his nose into the crease of my neck.
“I promise you this mood has nothing to do with spending time with you. That’s the one thing keeping me calm.” He confessed rendering me speechless.
Turning on my heel I leaned into Roman planting small kisses on his growing smile. That smart mouth was dangerous, I already knew it would get him out of all kinds of trouble – trouble concerning me.
Roman and I managed to keep our hands off each other long enough to get ready in record time. This evening we arranged a dinner date with Dixon, Harley, Tristan and Peyton. It was the perfect chance for me to enjoy the fantasy of us being a couple as well as proving to him commitment was not that bad.
My beautifully captivating alpha was dressed in straight-leg black jeans, perfectly hanging on his defined hips, teamed with a tight fitting black t-shirt. As if he needed clothing that accentuated what I wished he would hide in public. I decided to match his dark outfit and opted for a figure enhancing black jumpsuit awarding myself with a killer (fake) cleavage.
A loose strand of hair tickled the back of my exposed neck and I smiled at the sensation. When deciding to style my hair in curls Roman had practically begged me to tie it back into a messy bun so that my neck and shoulders were freely on show for his wandering lips.
We walked into the swanky club house hand in hand and headed over to the bar before meeting our friends. I had never been to this place before and when looking around at the décor I noted why. From pillar to post it screamed expensive, I was not in a bad position with money but I was never usually comfortable with the types of residents that hung out in these places.
On one side of the venue there was a restaurant area and on the opposing side there was a more casual seating area where music played and our friends waited. The entire place was decorated with white with slithers of pastel colors throughout making it seem much larger inside than it did outside.
Whilst Roman frantically replied to (what I presumed to be) an important message after continuously checking his phone - I decided ordered us both an alcoholic beverage to release some of the anticipation for the night ahead. With my eyes fixed to the menu led on the bar I started ordering as soon as I felt the bar tenders presence before me.
I scanned the menu running my finger down the drinks section. “Could I please have a large Jack Daniels with coke and a glass of the house white wine please?” I raised my head to enquire if I could start a tab to save us from having to pay every time we ordered something and my heart stopped.
“Long time no see guitar girl.” He smirked.
Nate.
The last time I saw Nate I was captured in one of the darkest elements of my foregone mental state and he abused that. Luckily Roman’s attention was elsewhere so he could not pick up on the animosity brewing between us.
“Don’t ever call me that again, don’t even act like you know me.” I pleaded.
If Nate was to share anything with Roman it was sure to send him running for his own sanity. I am not that girl anymore I repeated to myself trying to calm my rampant beating heart.
“Jeeh I’m sorry Lily, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Nate seemed shocked by my unfriendly response, he also sounded almost genuine. If it was not for our encounter then I would have felt guilty, even silly, for being so sharp with him but I knew he did not feel one ounce of guilt for how he made me feel.
I noticed in the corner of my eye that Roman was heading back to me from the quiet corner he had snuck off to so I put on a brave face and started over.
“So if we could start a tab?” I directed at Nate trying to unnoticeably persuade him with my eyes to just for once obey me.
When I thought of Nate and the story of us my skin crawled. I felt like an overload of bugs had been poured over my skin and I was to act as though everything was normal. Maybe he was here on purpose, perhaps he was my warning from the universe. Thankfully he listened and after setting up our tab Roman and I made our way to our friends who all seemed to be well on their way to drunk city.
“Woohoo and the sexiest couple of us all arrive fashionably late of course.” Peyton screeched as we each took a seat amongst the others.
I looked to Roman waiting for him to correct her whilst humiliating me by confirming we were nothing more than friends but he simply smiled and directed his gaze to Tristan.
“Come on Tristan, keep your girl in line.” Roman joked and my heart steadied.
Through the entire course of the evening Roman held me close to his side with his hand constantly placed on some part of me confirming his ownership. When the rest of the immediate party chatted about casual topics he would take the opportunity to kiss me or tease me by whispering indecent thoughts into my ear.
“I’m just going to head to bathroom.” Harley informed us and I offered to go with her.
Once in the toilets I slammed the door behind me about to pour out exactly what had been eating at me the entire course of the evening.
“Please tell me you haven’t mentioned who Nate was.” I begged as Harley touched up her makeup in the mirror. I assumed this was probably the fifth time so far even though just like the first time she looked picture perfect.
She placed her blusher brush back in her bag and turned to me. “Oh my god, as soon as I saw him I warned Peyton not to mention a thing. I can’t believe he is here. What did he say when he saw you? Last I heard he had left town. How do you feel about seeing him? Does Roman know?” Harley fired questions at me whilst I battled with trying not to be sick. It was time to lay off the wine.
“No Roman does not know, do you think we would be sat there so calmly if he did? Nate didn’t say a thing, I mean he called me guitar girl.” Harleys face dropped. “But I warned him to shut his face and he acted like he didn’t know me thank god.”
I leant on the sink for support and closed my eyes trying to push unwanted images of Nate from my mind. He was the final straw. He was the final undoing before they all found out. He was everything I associated with my weakness. He was a prick in the deadliest form.
“I knew the rumors were true.”
Unable to tell if it was the overuse of wine or the memory of Nate I vomited in the sink. Harley brushed back fallen strands of hair from my face and rubbed my back.
“Uh oh, I think somebody needs to go home.”
After embarrassingly puking the entire contents of my stomach in the clubs bathroom I asked Roman to take me home.
“Stay with me?”
Roman had helped me out of my stinking clothes and dressed me in one of his t-shirts. I was curled in a ball on the side of the bed he had been sleeping on whilst he gently soothed me stroking his hands along my hair.
“I need to take care of business Lily.” His response was a delicate whisper as though he did not want to startle me into making any sudden movements.
“Roman please I go away tomorrow.”
I watched as he stood up from kneeling on the floor but instead of walking out of my door he shed his clothes and climbed into bed next to me. I could not turn in fright of covering him in vomit but Roman reached his hand out and began writing secret messages on my back, I fell asleep at the comfort of his touch.
“Sir I am sorry to bother you with work when you are out of the office but I am sure you will want to hear this.” Sarah waited for me to instruct her to go forward. “Our private investigator has alerted me with some crucial evidence on Viktor Hayes and says it is credential that you ring him as soon as possible. It does not seem like good news sir.” She warily informed me.
I was woken from my slumber with Lily by the vibration of my cell. I jumped out of bed before the noise could wake her too, it was my receptionist.
“Okay, I will be in the office as soon as possible.
Thank you Sarah.” I ended the phone call and scolded myself. I had been so wrapped up in the illusion of being with Lily everything around me was taking an undeserving back seat. I knew how I needed to proceed and it was not going to be thoughtful.
I dialed the number of my next move, it could potentially ruin everything but it was essential. She did not answer and I immediately assumed she was probably busy with sucking cock so I left a voice mail. She could easily dismiss a text but I knew she could not say no to my voice.
“Odette, ring me when you get this.” Then I said the words that would bring bile up my throat. “I need you.” I threw my phone under the pillow and crawled back next to Lily.
I would never deserve this Angel.
“Surely being CEO of your own company means you can give yourself time off whenever you want?” I whined.
I was busy placing my belongings into my signature leopard print suitcase, whilst trying to persuade Roman not too stay behind. Peyton, Harley and I were venturing home to break the news of the recent engagement to our parents, I say recent although that already seems like a life time ago when I think of everything to have happened since.
Peyton headed down asserting shotgun in Tristan’s car whilst Harley followed with Dixon in tow. I however would be travelling alone as Roman had to stay for apparent business purposes. Just mere yet powerful weeks in and I could not stand to be away from him.
“Angel you know I would go anywhere with you if I could, you don’t need me in the way anyway, enjoy your week with your family.” He soothed, I know he was trying to find ways to sugar coat it.
Lazily leaving kisses along the back of my bare neck he was desperately trying to distract me from my current task. Thanks to my drunken state last night also causing me to sleep in late this morning we had not even got to have goodbye sex. My instant thought were that he would not want to stay knowing the night would not end in that way; a part of me was still laced with doubt that sex was all he wanted with me. Instead we spent the night clutched in each other’s embrace. Every time I woke from a spinning head or heavy stomach Roman distracted me with talking. We planned to accompany each other for morning jogs and visit tourist destinations for the irony. We each teased and ruined the endings of TBR books for each other and the rest of the hours were spent sleeping embraced in each other’s warmth from one side of the bed to the other.
