by Lucy Harvey
I had used up all my getting ready time but I guess I was in a fit state for town already, I just needed a third party perspective. I had my trusty MAC lipstick and bronzer in my clutch which I could reapply in the taxi and I was set to go. Maybe white was not the best choice but recently it was my favorite choice.
“You know, I often wonder why I didn’t just force you to be in love with me, life would have been a lot simpler.” I meant it in a jokey way but JD grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes.
“Do you want to know why I never made a move on you in that sense? It’s because I loved you that I didn’t get with you Lily. I know that makes no sense.” He paused to take a breather and maybe even gain courage for his confession.
“You know how we joke about you being emotionally unstable and me emotionally unavailable but it’s true. You deserve someone who can love you fervently and deeply like you would love them in return. If I broke your heart or you broke mine I couldn’t stand to not have you around, I guess not acting on how I really felt about you was an easier price to pay. But now you know.”
I was at a loss for words. All this time? Really? I would waste hours at a time wondering why JD never looked at me that way but now he decides to admit he did?
“Plus I’m currently banging twins and you know I would not pass up on that easily.”
After anything personal or enlightening JD was quick to cover it up and release the tension with something lighthearted. Sometimes it annoyed me he could never be serious for more than five minutes but I guess I was glad he at least let me in.
“You are such a jerk, but I love you too. Not in the way a partner should love a partner but in some way I truly love you JD.” I admitted. I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a gentle kiss on the side of his face. It felt good that in the space of five minutes we had made sense of this connection.
“Good, plus I am totally stoked I can say I deflowered the blonde bombshell that is Lily Cassette.” I swatted him on the arm and we rolled around in fits of laughter as he tried to occupy my mind until our taxi arrived.
JD, Peyton, Tristan, Harley, Dixon and I each clambered into the mini bus and headed to the largest club in town. My brother Cole decided to stay at home whilst Chase was heading in with his latest lay. I was counting down the seconds till I could numb myself with the miraculous medicine of vodka and red bull pleading with my mind to stay focused on the world around me.
You didn’t expect him to actually stick around did you?
Focus Lily. I squinted my eyes and mentally shook my head free from that voice.
They were back.
I put it down to the fact my head and heart were confused. Maybe when I got home I would start doubling my meds again but for tonight I just wanted to enjoy tonight.
Whenever in a sad state and travelling I find myself staring out the window pretending to be playing some role in a cheesy heartbreak chart hit. I studied the glow of the street lights as they contrasted with the pure beauty of the stars. If I was the lonely damsel in a love song right now then it would be ‘Cristina Perri – Jar of hearts’ because I could sense the scars of Roman were coming fast and hard.
The taxi abruptly pulled up outside the venue, the guys handed the driver a wad of cash as we tried to exit the vehicle hiding our most private areas in a lady like fashion. The music was serenading down the surrounding streets. I could feel the pulse of the beat in time with my own heart. Instantly I was filled with a buzz and I knew in just a few drinks I would be in a completely different state of mind.
The queue escalated down the street as far as I could see but it didn’t worry me, I knew Dixon would use his flash hand to pull at impressionable strings and would get us in before I could rearrange my uncomfortable panties inappropriately lodged in my derriere. Hmm seeing as I am now riding solo maybe I should just take them off. I smirked at my sneakiness and although Roman wouldn’t see either way I knew it was something he would forbid.
Once in the club I regretted not changing into something less restricting and less white. If you could catch an STD from dry humping unfamiliar sweaty bodies then I would walk out of here riddled. Grabbing JD’s surprisingly cool and refreshing hand I headed to the bar with one mission – to simply forget. When ordering I peered around to offer getting in a round but it seemed as though everyone had headed straight to the dance floor so JD and I took the chance to race at downing three double vodkas. The buzz was getting more intense and I was loosening at the seams.
“Let’s go dance Willy.” JD whispered into my ear placing his steady hands on my hips.
“Are you ever going to stop calling me Willy?” I pouted, if anyone could get away with it then it would be him but seriously.
“But it’s the only legal thing I can call you.” He leaned in to kiss my forehead and I could feel his sly grin against my skin.
JD took my hand in his and glided me along the dance floor taking center stage in the mist of the crowed. We began to move to ‘Justin Bieber – I need you’ I was only raving about this song the day before and it was perfect to feel free with. Girls naturally circled around JD admiring and stalking. Lust was thick all around us but he knew I needed him and not once did he try to stray from my path.
One leggy brunette began to grind against JD, I looked at him to gage his reaction and he was not impressed. Using his right hand slicing the air between his neck and chin I knew he was not interested.
It was time for some fun.
I left JD to be sexually harassed by the tall brunette and set off for the DJ booth to request a signature number. Heading back to my previous spot on the dancefloor I was thankful the poor girl could not take a hint, it meant my plan would go ahead.
‘Christina Aguilera – Dirty’ poured through the speakers and I began to strut towards JD. He snapped his head around to find me, he knew my next move. This was a prank we would each play at high school parties – the ultimate cock block move. I placed both hands firmly on JD’s chest and sank to the floor simultaneously shaking my hips and rubbing my hands down his body. I stood up and turned around rubbing my behind along his – oh, apparently along his erection.
“You are such a bad girl Lil.” He whispered into my ear.
His hot breathe against my sensitive skin felt welcoming and too comfortable. My head was in an alcohol influenced state. Then I felt his wet tongue tickling the side of my neck as he trailed it up to my ear leaving a finishing peck on my effected lobe.
It was wrong but in that moment it felt secure, it felt right.
Turning around I looped my weighted arms around the broadness of JDs shoulders. We shared a look but my mind was too fogged to understand its meaning. Closing my eyes I puckered my lonely lips expecting for him to lean forward and kiss me. He stepped back as I stood alone but I didn’t threat, I had kissed JD enough to know his movements and structure. I anticipated his lunge to take me.
The kiss never came.
Time was ticking and as I waited for a kiss I began to regret even initiating it. It wouldn’t do anything to our friendship, I could ask JD to bury a body and he would still place me on a peddle stall as though he had to protect me. It was what it would do to me. The feel of another man’s lips when I hadn’t even registered the rejection of Roman’s would break me.
I was ready to wallow.
How could he fucking do that to me?
I opened my eyes and stepped back hoping I was not about to offend my best friend. I knew he was only fooling around but I needed to be cradled and cared for, I was suddenly not in the mood for games I just needed to flee.
Looking up I prepared the apologies I would give to JD but that was not who was stood in front of me. I should have detected the shift in energy around me, the soaring heat from the body just before me. Roman was here.
“What-”
My protest was interjected by a firm hand over my mouth. Roman leaned in just inches away so that I could smell the sweat lingering on his skin.
“If yo
u ever, ever pull something like that again and I will end you.” He spat. Roman yanked my frozen body from the dancefloor and flung me over his shoulder like a caveman.
I was in trouble.
Trouble was a welcome friend, it meant for the close future I was not completely alone.
How disgustingly needy and pathetic was that?
It has been approximately seventeen agonizing minutes since I dragged Lily’s brazen ass back to my hotel room. I count the time in order to prolong this. The longer I wait the longer she has to realize what she has done.
Lily wanted to flaunt herself like a free agent as though no one owned her, she wanted the feel of another man’s lips, the brush of someone else’s cock against her. She was about to pay. Lily belonged to me.
I had bound my fallen Angel’s wrists behind her back and she was currently knelt in front of me, adjuring with her eyes. Jealousy was raging through me like wildfire set alight by her innocent hands but when I looked into her eyes the golden brown irises soothed me, it was me she was craving. I was the reason her panties were soaked through.
Flogger in hand I began to circle my badly behaved girl displayed before me.
“Is it him you want Angel?” I challenged her. My tone remained calm contradicting with the riot inside.
“No Roman, I want you.” Her whiny voice made my cock thicken and stir against the rigid material of my jeans.
Crack.
I smacked her lightly against the back with enough power for her to moan out in excitement.
“What were you doing with him Lily, were you being a little cock tease? Do you think this is a game Lily?” My voice grew louder as my circles around her shuddering body got closer.
So far I had only been soft with Lily, we had begun to experiment more and that was fine but the beast caged inside was crying for his release.
“No Roman. I, I wanted to forget you. Why-”
Crack.
This was my time to question her. She did not even know Odette and even so our exchange was purely business. Surely she knew it was just her that got me like this? I was dead before Lily, I’m dead every second that she is not around. Why could I not find the words to make her see what she was too me? This was the best I could give, show her that I owned her, she belonged to me and only me.
“I can’t say I am happy with the little stunt you pulled tonight but know this, if you ever go near another cock again I will cut it off and I will feed it to you.” Her excited gasp drew me from my tunnel of vision. I could feel the veins bursting out of my erection chaffing with the material pressed against it. “Now Angel, I’m going to untie you.”
Pulling Lily up to me I pressed my chest against her naked breast feeling her bullet like nipples through my shirt. Undoing the rope from her wrists, not once did I dare to break my eyes from her own. I could tell she was anticipating her punishment, all girls would nervously shift the same, which was normally how it went. But tonight was different, something had changed.
A feeling was building inside me, an emotion I had tried for so long to bury with my past, bury with the last person I let in.
“Do you think you will ever get married Rome?” She asked me. She was in a pretty white dress, the one she was forbidden to even look at but she still did. Her dreams had once again gotten the better of her.
“Ugh no, I’m going to be on my own forever, girls are vermin.” I protested.
With flowers decorated in her hair she proudly admired herself in the mirror smiling at her own arrangement of daffodils she found in the garden. Next she would make me catch the fake bouquet. These games and make believe were silly and childish but I loved it when she laughed.
“Rome, will you promise me something?” Her smile turned to confusion, maybe sadness. It was hard to tell when she wore sadness so well.
“What Ava?” I queried.
“Promise me you won’t always be alone, promise me one day you will let someone in, and let them fall in love with you and every single beautiful thing about you. It exists you know, true love, it really does exist.” Why was she asking me this?
“Ava stop it you’re scaring me. You know it doesn’t exist. If there was such thing as love then why are we here like this?” I was angry and scared and I wanted to know why the girl four years my senior was always the one away with the fairy’s like a child.
“Just please Rome, promise me?”
“I promise Ava. But you have to promise me something too?”
“No Rome, you have already promised. I know what you are going to ask but I can’t, it is too risky. I’m not risking it.” Ava walked towards me and pulled my head into her chest. Leaving kisses in my hair she began to sing.
“There’s a bigger picture,
It will save us,
I promise you it will save us,
I will save us.”
I made a promise. I could not fully keep it but I would try.
Gripping the flogger tightly in my clutches I stared at Lily watching her breathing grow erratic and fear appear in her eyes. In any other time this would excite and thrill me. I did not need to see that look on her face right now. I needed to make her believe she still wanted me.
Throwing the flogger to the ground Lily peered at me in a confused state waiting for my next order.
“Angel, I just need to make love to you.”
Slowly I began to skim my fingertips along his soft skin as though I was stroking the plush fur of a puppy. Goose bumps began to surface from the absence of my touch. He shivered with excitement and it unleashed a stir deep within me.
When I touch him like that I do not just feel his skin or his warmth, I feel everything, every single thing that I crave and fear in just one significant touch. I don’t just want him; I need him, more than my next breathe. Whether it’s right or wrong, whether I’m selling myself short or just denying myself sanity, I want him so bad I can feel it braking me.
“Take me Angel.” He begs.
His husky voice lingers over my personal endearment as he gently leads my hand to his throbbing arousal. I dive down head first taking as much as I can of him in my greedy mouth and as I lift my eyes the expression on his face from the surprise attack makes me squirm. What started as firm commands are now crumbling plea’s as he begs me not to stop salaciously worshiping him.
As one of my fists cling to the bed sheets I strive to bring him to his finish by using the other to cup his soft balls, gently tugging them with enough pressure causing him to start lunging out of his cool state. I wonder if he will let me have my hands untied more often. I love dominant Roman, I love when he fucks me like he needs to hurt me, when he has got me tied up so tight that I am not sure if I’m screaming from pain or pleasure. But this. When Roman so rarely submits to me. It’s my undoing.
Tonight was an ending and a beginning. It was a start and a finishing. A joining and a parting.
“I need to make love to you.”
That very statement would make me forgive any kind of wrong doing, it made me believe.
I suck and lick from top to bottom of his shaft moaning with apprehension. My O shaped mouth lingers on his swollen head and sucks frantically as I desperately try to milk him of all that holds him together. Salty liquid shoots to the back of my throat and continues to flow until my mouth is so full I do my best to swallow but liquid manages to coat the entire exterior of my mouth. I sit back and lick the remnants from my swollen mouth not once breaking eye contact with the absolute sex god falling apart before me.
“Please may I request something Roman?” I may have just completely owned him whilst he submitted himself to me emotionally, but I was taught to never forget my place and my role here.
“Anything you want Angel.” His breathing continued to hitch as he deflates from his recent high.
“Can I please do that again?” Roman’s entire body turned grey and with a simple proposal his entire blood stream rushed to his cock, I was in for it.
“You’re going to ruin me
you little slut.” He grabs me by the throat and mounts me whilst pinning me to softness of quilt.
“As long as you ruin me too.”
I was not sure where this girl who begged to be treated this way had been hiding all this time but Roman unlocked such a ferocious need inside of me that the words left my one track mind before I could register what I was I surrendering too.
Our hitching breathes release as one, in this moment we are entwined even deeper than our tortured hearts. We were interlocked so tightly that there was no distinction between his body and my own. Roman was beginning to conduct the melody to my life long before I had found my own lyrics. This was a beginning and an end, the start and finish rolled into one.
Roman and I had found a way to express how we needed each other.
It was pathetic and needy, disturbed and dark. It was us.
He would trigger a darkness in me that would make me kick and scream. In turn that would make him fight to control and brake me. The result would be us connecting in a way only we knew how. It was not the kind of love I had dreamt of but it was a form at least.
“Let me take you out for dinner.” He seductively whispered against my temple.
Roman and I had been wrapped up in the mist of our own lust long enough to calm the ever growing storms in each other. We had agreed to not plan, not fight and not run, we were just going to live. It seemed like such a simple conversation, the kind I could contemplate of why we never had it sooner. But that was life, each great difficulty shapes an even greater fate. Life was always about the bigger picture and I guess I had lost sight of that recently.
Tugging the blankets from Romans naked torso I swatted his firm behind.
“Hmm, dinner with you? You kind of eat like a pig.” I giggled.
Roman pulled me into his embrace so that I was positioned on my back looking up at him. He brushed a stray strand of hair from my face, planted a kiss on my forehead and trailed his index finger down my exposed sides, the sensation tickled and soothed me.
