Undaunted Love (PART TWO): Banished Saga, Book 3.5

by Ramona Flightner

  “I was too, Clarissa. But I’ve found another dream, and it comforts me.” He smiled reassuringly and glanced toward the doorway to the kitchen.

  Amelia reentered the dining room and cleared away one armload of plates. I moved to help her, but she waved me away. “No, Rissa. Rest. You’ll have little enough opportunity when the baby comes.” She continued her circuit back and forth between kitchen and dining room, her movements becoming more agitated with each trip.

  I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head in the direction of the kitchen while looking at Sebastian. He nodded and rose when she came into the dining room for the last set of plates. He grabbed a few glasses and a bowl, ignoring Amelia’s frown.

  I shared a smile with Gabriel as he winked at me. “Let’s go to the office,” I whispered, and Ronan and Gabriel nodded their agreement. Gabriel grabbed his coffee mug and I my water glass as we moved to grant Sebastian and Amelia some privacy.

  ***

  “AMELIA, TALK TO ME,” Sebastian said as he followed her into the kitchen. He glanced through the doorway and saw Clarissa leading Gabriel and Ronan to the office, leaving him with Amelia, virtually alone on this side of the house.

  “There’s so much to be done to ensure you are ready for your travels tomorrow, Sebastian,” Amelia said as she picked up a hearty loaf of oatmeal bread and began to slice thick slabs. She slathered on butter with jerky motions, her head lowered as she focused on her task.

  Sebastian reached for her hand, stilling her movements. “Amelia, look at me.” The soft entreaty provoked a sniffle and a shake of her head. “I know you’re angry with me. There’s no need to deny it. But I’d rather talk with you about it now than have it between us when I’m away.”

  Amelia wrenched her hand from under his and spun around. She dropped the knife in the sink and then gripped the edge of it, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. “Forgive me.” Her reedy voice emerged above a whisper. “I’m thinking only of myself.”

  Sebastian turned her to face him, placing his index finger under her chin and tilting her head up to meet his eyes. “If you weren’t upset, I’d be devastated.”

  Amelia bit her lip as she fought a smile and then leaned into his large palm as he cradled her cheek. “I know you promised we’ll be together again. And I tell myself you speak the truth. And yet I have this tremendous fear. That I’ll never see you again. That I’m destined to always be alone. And it overwhelms me.”

  “We won’t be separated for long, sweetheart. I have money from the sale of my house. I want to have the mill up and running before you come to Darby.”

  “The thought of any separation is beyond my ability to bear.” She leaned into his touch, accepting the soft caress of his thumbs over her cheeks. “Promise me that you’ll let your men do the dangerous work. That you won’t run into a fire, putting yourself at risk again.”

  “I can’t promise you that,” Sebastian said, his light-brown eyes shining with intensity. “I can’t promise I’ll be less of a leader to my men. That I’d let any of them come to harm because of a promise I made to abate your fears.”

  “Sebastian—”

  “Life is full of risk, Amelia. Full of danger, uncertainty and cruelty. I can’t promise you that life will be as we wished. But I can promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to remain healthy and whole. To be able to love you and the children until we’re old, when the wildest thing I can imagine is holding your hand while sitting in my rocking chair.”

  Amelia sputtered out a laugh, unable to prevent her tears from spilling. “I’d rather be sitting on your lap in the rocking chair.”

  Sebastian smiled appreciatively. “There’s my girl,” he said huskily, leaning forward to kiss her with a yearning tenderness. After a few moments he leaned away, his forehead against hers. “Never doubt my desire to forge a life with you. To raise Nicky and Annie as though they were mine. I want this life with you.”

  A soft smile bloomed, and a rosy blush enhanced Amelia’s beauty at Sebastian’s declaration. She began to speak but then bolted back a step, bumping into the countertop and wincing in pain, as the sound of a throat clearing was heard in the living area. Sebastian chuckled, although it was tinged with frustration.

  “Seb?” Gabriel’s deep voice called out. “We’re heading out soon.”

  Sebastian traced a hand down the side of Amelia’s face and neck, and then turned to the living room, his boots thumping on the hardwood.

  Amelia stood in the kitchen, her hands behind her, braced on the edge of the countertop as she attempted to memorize the feel of Sebastian’s hands caressing her face. She heard the front door opening, quiet murmurings and the sound of a carriage rolling away.

  “Glad Gabriel finally learned to drive a carriage. He can help Ronan travel here now,” Sebastian said as he reentered the kitchen.

  “Yes,” Amelia murmured.

  Sebastian grinned, reaching forward to clasp her face again. “Where were we, sweetheart?”

  All teasing left Amelia’s countenance as she stared into his eyes. “I want this life with you too, Sebastian. I hope you realize I’d never run off—”

  “Hush, love.” His eyes glowed with a fierce emotion. “I’ve watched you raise your children. Mourn your husband. Support your friends. I know the woman you are. I know you’re not that type of woman.”

  He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes for a moment before meeting her gaze again. “All I ask is, when I disappoint you—because I know I will—that you tell me. Tell me plainly when I hurt you or fail to do something you wanted.”

  “I will,” Amelia said.

  “I promise the same.” He leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “To love you.” A kiss to one cheek. “To cherish you.” A kiss to the other cheek. “To never take for granted your love.” A kiss to her mouth.

  He moved to back away and say something else, but she clasped him around his neck and held him tightly to her, deepening the kiss.

  “Establish the mill soon, my dearest,” Amelia whispered. “Send for me and the children.”

  CHAPTER 28

  A WEEK AFTER SEBASTIAN LEFT, I waited in our apartment for Gabriel to come upstairs after work. When I heard his boots on the stairs, I moved toward the stove and put the kettle on for tea.

  “How was your day, Gabriel?” I asked.

  “Fine. More of the usual. Amelia came by with the children while you were at the depository. She’s impatient for word from Sebastian, and I can tell she’s having a hard time waiting for Sebastian to get the mill running and to find acceptable housing for her and the children.”

  “They’ll be reunited again soon,” I said as I poured steaming water into the teapot.

  “What’s this?” Gabriel asked as he picked up a yellow envelope propped against a glass on the dining room table. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at me. “It’s a telegram addressed to you, Rissa.” He flipped it over. “And you’ve yet to open it.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  He set it down again on the table and moved to his chair. After he’d settled, he nodded to the envelope.

  I picked it up, holding the telegram in my hand, afraid to open it. The last telegram I’d received had contained the news of my father’s death. I bit my lip as I continued to stare at it as though it were the harbinger of unwanted news.

  “Open it, Rissa,” Gabriel urged. He clasped his hands together with feigned patience, watching as I stared at my name on the front of the yellowed paper.

  I met his amused gaze and overcame my fear as I ripped open the envelope. “I don’t understand,” I whispered as I held the telegram to Gabriel.

  “On our way. Be there Tuesday. Much to discuss.” Gabriel gripped the paper so tightly he almost crushed it. “Savannah.”

  “Yes, and Jeremy.” I moved toward his chair, sitting on his lap and provoking a groan as I settled my pregnancy weight on his legs. I reached for his hand and eased it open, clasping my fingers through his. “How can they be co
ming here? I thought their plan was to rent an apartment in the West End.” I raised a hand to my forehead, my mind spinning.

  “I suspect there’s much we haven’t been told. The last letters have been from Florence. Filled with information about little Ian”—Gabriel cleared his throat as his voice thickened at his father’s name—“but little other real news.”

  “I wonder that Savannah has had the strength to leave Boston and Jonas behind,” I said.

  “It seems you’re not the only independent cousin,” Gabriel said. “If they’re scheduled to arrive on Tuesday, that’s tomorrow.”

  “Why wouldn’t they have written sooner?”

  Gabriel sighed and settled me in a more comfortable position on his lap. I didn’t fit as easily as I used to with my protruding belly. He kissed me before leaning over and placing a soft kiss to my belly. “We’ll know soon enough.”

  ***

  I STOOD NEXT TO GABRIEL, attempting not to fidget as we awaited the train’s arrival. I peered around his shoulder, down the train tracks, hoping to see the puff of steam from the engine heralding its arrival. The sun had yet to burn through the low clouds blanketing the town, and I could not see the tops of the mountains. A sprinkling of snow covered the tips of the hills and half of the mountains, and I worried more snow was on its way. I tapped my toes to keep them warm in the cold, early May weather.

  “If you’re chilled, why don’t you wait inside?” Gabriel asked as I shivered. He placed his arm across my shoulders, and I snuggled into his embrace, thankful for his warmth.

  “I want to see them as they descend the steps,” I said into his lapel. I breathed in his masculine, musky smell with a hint of cedar. “How can it be this cold in May?”

  “It’s Montana, love.”

  “I didn’t believe Mr. Pickens when he said it could snow in June. This year I fear he could be right.”

  Gabriel chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Here they are,” Gabriel murmured, unable to hide the joy from his voice.

  I leaned away from his embrace but wrapped my hands around his arm, gripping it in my excitement. The shiny black steam engine groaned to a halt, and, within a few moments, passengers disembarked. I bounced from foot to foot as I searched for Jeremy and Savannah.

  “Colin?” I asked incredulously as I looked toward the steps. “Colin!” I screeched as I raced toward him in an uneven gait due to my pregnancy. He stood at the base of the steps, appearing handsome in a disheveled way with a two-day-old beard and wrinkled clothes.

  “Rissa,” Colin said pulling me into a long hug. He leaned away, his blue eyes sparkling with merriment. “Oh, it’s good to be home.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you were coming,” I said as I leaned in to hug him again. I looked behind him and saw Savannah and Jeremy descending the stairs. I released Colin with a smile and walked toward her. “Sav,” I breathed and launched myself at her, gripping her tightly. “Sav,” I repeated as I rocked to and fro with her in my arms, tears falling unheeded as I beheld her, healthy and safe.

  “Clarissa,” Savannah whispered. “I thought we would never arrive.” She squeezed me tightly. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you again and in Montana.”

  I finally released her and swiped at my cheeks. “Let’s find Gabriel and Jeremy,” I whispered as I turned toward the station.

  “Wait,” Savannah said, stilling my movement, waiting at the foot of the steps by the train.

  I watched as an unknown woman descended the steep train stairs, clinging to a wriggling bundle with one arm and the bar with her other hand to balance herself on the steps. Savannah turned to the woman, murmuring soft, cooing words to her bundle. A blond head emerged from the swaddled mass of blankets and coats, and reached out her arms to Savannah. As she turned sapphire blue eyes toward me, I gasped.

  “That can’t be,” I said, barely above a whisper.

  “Melinda, this is your sister, Clarissa. I’ve been telling you all about her. You might remember her from when she visited you around your last birthday.” Savannah brushed down yellow curls as I watched Melinda lean her head closer to Savannah. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought Savannah was Melinda’s mother.

  “Sav? You brought her?” I reached out to grip Melly’s small hand, and she let go of Savannah, reaching out her arms for me. Savannah passed my sister to me, and I hugged Melinda tight, reminding myself not to crush her in my enthusiasm. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  Savannah smiled as she again brushed at Melinda’s curls. I kissed Melinda’s forehead, overcome with emotion to see both Savannah and my baby sister again.

  “Look,” Savannah murmured as she nodded toward the brothers standing a short distance away.

  Gabriel stood tensely, gripping his hands together at his sides as he studied Jeremy intently. It had been nearly five years since they’d seen one another, and I saw them silently cataloging the changes in each other. I kissed Melinda’s head, glanced toward Savannah and moved toward them as suddenly Gabriel pulled Jeremy into his arms in a bear hug. They slapped each other on the back a few times and rocked to and fro. After a few moments they broke apart. Gabriel reached up to clasp Jeremy’s face and then pulled him in for another hug. Not long afterward they released each other once more. Gabriel kept one arm slung around Jeremy’s shoulders as he turned toward me, his blue eyes bright with unshed tears.

  “Rissa,” he said, holding his hand out for me to join them. I moved toward him and Jeremy, shifting Melinda to carry her on my hip and to free one of my hands.

  “Jeremy,” I said, touching him gently on his arm.

  “Miss S … Mrs. McLeod,” he said with a shy smile. I leaned forward and hugged him, careful not to squish Melinda.

  I whispered into his ear, “It is so good to have you here.” I gave him a gentle squeeze and then backed away. “And I think by now you should call me Clarissa.”

  Jeremy smiled and reached out a hand for Savannah. Colin stood talking to a nearby porter, making him laugh with one of his tales, before he rejoined us. He grabbed Melly from me, lifting her high overhead and causing her to squeal with delight. “I’ll carry her, Rissa,” Colin said as we began to walk down the boardwalk toward downtown.

  “We’re to stay at Uncle Aidan’s place,” Jeremy said.

  “Does Amelia know?” I asked as I peered up at him.

  “Uncle said he wrote her,” Jeremy said. “I asked him not to tell you that we were thinking of coming here. We wanted to surprise you.”

  “I couldn’t be more surprised. Or delighted,” Gabriel said as he looked at his youngest brother again as though fearing he were an apparition. “How long are you staying?”

  “We are uncertain,” Jeremy said after sharing a quick glance with Savannah. “If we like Montana, we could be here for a good long while. Otherwise, I didn’t let the workshop, so I could always return to Boston.”

  “I never knew you wanted to travel,” I said to Savannah.

  “There’s been little else I dreamed of lately,” Savannah said, refusing to meet my gaze.

  I frowned, and Gabriel squeezed my arm. I bit back the multitude of questions wanting to burst forth and instead focused on the joy of having Savannah, Jeremy, Colin and Melinda here.

  Gabriel appeared to mirror my sentiments as he said, “All that matters is you’re here now. Amelia mentioned something about preparing the house for visitors, but I didn’t press her for details. Col, you should stay there too, until you’re settled.”

  Colin nodded his agreement as Melinda patted at his face, running her fingers over his rough cheeks. He acted as though he were going to eat her fingers, causing her to laugh even more.

  “I’m sorry. I’m Clarissa,” I said to the woman who trudged along behind us.

  “I’m Araminta,” she said. She wore ill-fitting clothes that were too tight across her bosom and waist, giving the impression the worn pale blue cloth was about to burst open at any moment. She walked with a slight hitch to he
r steps but had no trouble keeping up with the brisk pace set by the long strides of the McLeod men.

  I looked to Savannah for more of an introduction, but she appeared too absorbed in taking in her new surroundings. At one point she stopped and stared at the large hills surrounding the city, her head tilting backward as she looked up. “Snow?” she asked with confusion while staring at the very tops of the mountains that had cleared with their arrival. When I nodded yes, she shook her head with wonder.

  We walked along the boardwalk, avoiding the muddy street as much as possible. “Horse-drawn trolleys?” Savannah asked as one trundled past.

  “Yes, things aren’t as advanced here, Sav. You’ll get used to it. In fact I rarely take a trolley. I tend to walk everywhere.”

  “If you’re feeling adventurous, after the baby’s born, you should both learn to bicycle,” Gabriel said with a teasing smile. “Then you’ll be able to explore a bit more together.”

  “I can only imagine the havoc Rissa could cause on a bicycle,” Savannah teased.

  I laughed my agreement, and we were silent for the rest of our walk. By this point, I’d pulled on Gabriel’s arm to slow him down, and we walked at a more leisurely rate.

  “Here we are,” I said as we turned into the walkway of Uncle Aidan’s house. The whitewashed two-storied house gleamed in a momentary break in the bleak day as a shaft of bright afternoon sun beamed down on us. A bench and two chairs sat on the long covered porch to the left of the door. Black shutters to the side of each window were open and were more decorative than practical. A row of pansies, their petals fluttering in the light wind, lined the walkway.

  Savannah smiled, her shoulders relaxing. “I hadn’t thought it to be this nice.” She looped her arm through Jeremy’s.

  Gabriel led the way up the front stairs, knocking on the door. Nicholas answered, jumping up and down when he saw us. He yelled, “They’re here, Mama! They’re here!” and abandoned his post at the front door, running into the house.