The Perfect Husband

by Buffy Andrews

‘I haven’t either, but that cereal was always one of my comfort foods. Eric would be horrified if he saw I bought it, which makes me want to buy it even more.’ I grinned and was happy that I still could. ‘He’d only buy this high fiber cereal that tasted like crap cardboard.’

  Jackie held up batteries. ‘I’m going to give you a couple of the flashlights in my car and thought I’d buy some extra batteries just in case you need them.’

  I smiled.

  ‘What so funny.’

  ‘Oh, nothing. I just remember you making fun of Bruce for buying you flashlights for gifts.’

  Jackie rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you made your point. Bruce is a good guy.’

  ‘He’s a great guy!’

  Jackie insisted on paying for the groceries and we loaded the bags into her car and drove back to the garage.

  Paul was tightening the lug nuts when we pulled in. He turned around. ‘Should be as good as new.’

  ‘Thanks, Paul. How much do I owe you?’

  ‘I got this,’ Jackie said.

  ‘But…’

  Jackie narrowed her eyes and I felt as if I was being scolded by my mother.

  I hugged her. ‘Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.’

  Chapter 33

  When I left the road and turned down the stone lane leading to the cabin, I felt as though I had traveled back in time. I hadn’t been to the cabin since Jackie and I were teens, but as I approached it everything was just as I remembered.

  The two-story log structure was more house than cabin. Jackie’s dad had built it and included all the modern amenities.

  I put the car in park and looked up at the huge stone chimney and wide front porch. I smiled when I noticed the porch swing. Jackie and I had spent many summer days there. And the rockers were still side by side, where her parents sat and watched us play.

  I heard Jackie’s car door slam and it jerked me back to the present. I got out of the car and followed her into the cabin.

  I walked into the living room and turned in a circle. ‘Everything is just like I remember.’ I pointed to the plaid tan sofa and chair. ‘Even the furniture hasn’t changed.’

  Jackie laughed. ‘Dad did finally have to get a new recliner. Charlie, the black Labrador they adopted a few years back, jumped on it and broke it. Let me show you around.’

  I followed Jackie into the kitchen and then down the hallway to the bathroom and bedrooms. ‘Which bedroom would you like to sleep in?’

  I pointed to the one behind her. ‘How about that one? Didn’t we sleep in there when we were kids?’

  Jackie opened the door. ‘Sure did, and it still has the same two single beds. I always slept in the right one and you always took the left.’

  I smiled. ‘Will you sleep in here with me tonight?’

  ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

  We unloaded the rest of our things and Jackie filled the kettle on the stove to make some instant coffee. ‘Are you going to be okay staying here by yourself?’

  ‘I think so. It’ll give me the space and time I need to think. And I’ll have Izzy to keep me company.’

  Izzy was already exploring the cabin and I figured she’d scout out a few prime sitting spots.

  I checked my cell phone and showed Jackie Eric’s latest texts. I could tell he was getting angrier by the hour. He’d have gone ballistic at me by now if I was at home. Just the thought of him turning dark knight with his flaring nostrils and beady eyes in my face made me shudder.

  Jackie read the texts out loud.

  Where are you? Called four times. Answer me!!

  Just realized you took tracker off your phone.

  Coming home early. We need to talk.

  Jackie handed the phone back to me. ‘What an ass!’

  We made instant coffee and went outside and sat on the porch swing.

  ‘You didn’t want bigger boobs, did you?’

  I sighed. ‘Yes and no. I can’t blame that one completely on Eric. You know I’ve always felt inferior in that department. Eric assured me that he loved me just the way I was, but I knew he thought I’d look better with bigger breasts. I wanted to make him happy, so I did it. I just wish I hadn’t let him talk me into going so large. I knew I’d feel uncomfortable having boobs that big, and I do. Looking back, I can’t believe I loved him so much that I was willing to change my body for him. How sick is that?’

  ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ Jackie said. ‘At least you’re away from him now and safe.’

  I sipped my coffee. ‘You know I’ve waited my whole life for “the one.” I thought Scott was the one, but he wasn’t. When Eric came along, I thought my chance of finding the one had long sailed. But there he was, everything I wanted in a man. Loving, caring. We shared the same dreams, wanted the same things, or at least that’s what I thought. Or he led me to believe.’

  Jackie and I just swung in silence for a minute.

  ‘Did I ever tell you about the satchel?’ I finally spoke.

  ‘The one he carries? I mean I’ve seen him with it. More men seem to be carrying them nowadays, although Bruce wouldn’t be caught dead with one.’

  ‘Yes, that one. It bothers me. Always has.’

  I explained how Eric always had to have the satchel with him.

  ‘Did you ever ask him about it?’ Jackie asked.

  ‘I did. Well, sort of. I went to touch it and he snapped. He said it was like my purse and he’d never search my purse without asking me first. Likewise, I was never to search his satchel.’

  ‘That’s strange.’

  ‘Tell me about it. At first, it didn’t bother me. But the more time he spent away from home, the more obsessed I became with what might be inside that satchel.’

  ‘And you never looked inside it?’

  ‘Are you kidding me? I was afraid to. Just recently I thought I’d mustered up enough courage to, but he came home and I never got a chance.’

  I cried as I relived that awful night. Him shoving the mirror in my face, forcing me to kneel on the floor. The horror poured out of me in one long monologue. It was as if I had to tell Jackie everything, in order to purge the toxins from my soul so it could heal.

  Jackie held my hand but didn’t interrupt. At one point, I realized we’d stopped swinging.

  ‘It was one of the worst nights,’ I continued. ‘Well, until last night.’

  I looked at Jackie and her face was wet with tears. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Shel, I wasn’t there for you earlier.’

  ‘You didn’t know. You believed what I wanted you to believe, saw what I wanted you to see. But it was all a lie, an illusion met to disguise reality.’

  ‘The disguise worked. I thought you had the perfect marriage. You had everything I wanted, or so I thought. A man who took you shopping, bought you flowers every week and went out of his way to show his love. God, this world is so fucked up.’

  ‘No, Jack, people are. Eric is. I swear, if I ever get out of this mess…’

  ‘You mean when.’

  ‘Yes, when I get out of this mess I’m never even going to look at another man. It will be just me and Izzy.’

  Jackie and I talked into the night, stopping only to make sandwiches. At some point we stumbled to our beds. I tucked the flashlight Jackie had given me under my pillow.

  ‘Goodnight, Jackie.’

  ‘Goodnight.’

  Chapter 34

  The kettle on the stove whistled and Jackie filled our mugs with hot water. She was having tea. I wanted – no, needed – my morning coffee.

  ‘Anything special you’d like to do today?’ Jackie asked.

  I poured a little milk into my coffee and stirred it. ‘Remember that trail we used to hike when we were kids?’

  ‘The one with the rock outcropping?’

  ‘Yeah, that one. Let’s hike that trail today. I don’t think it’s that long, but I’d like to sit on the rocks like we used to when we were kids.’

  ‘Sounds good t
o me.’

  I filled a bowl with the marshmallow cereal I’d bought. ‘When do you plan on leaving?’

  ‘Probably right after lunch. I have a meeting at Nick’s school tonight I really shouldn’t miss. Let’s hike after breakfast.’

  I sat at the table to eat my breakfast. ‘I have no dishes.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Most of what’s at the house is Eric’s. The furniture, the appliances, even the dishes and pots and pans and utensils. I gave it all away when I moved in, remember? I am going to have to literally start over.’

  ‘Not completely,’ Jackie said. ‘I’ll give you back everything you gave to me, and we’ll figure out the rest together.’

  Just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be more tears in me, they flooded my face.

  Jackie hugged me. ‘You’ll get through this.’

  Eric had stopped texting so I figured when he got home and saw I wasn’t there, he realized I was gone. Still, it wasn’t like him to not respond. He always had to have the last word.

  The leaves crunched beneath our feet as we walked the narrow trail that snaked through the woods towards the lake.

  ‘Eric wanted to have sex at the park the other day when we were walking the trail. I refused. He became so angry. That’s the night, well, you know…the night he raped me.’

  Jackie stopped walking. ‘Oh, Shel. If only I could make the pain go away.’

  I looked into my best friend’s eyes. ‘I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t. He said I was nothing but a whore and that he could do whatever he wanted to his whore.’

  Jackie hugged me and I sobbed into her shoulder. ‘Tell me I’m not a whore. Tell me I’m not a zero. Please, tell me I matter.’

  Jackie pulled away so she could look me in the face when she spoke. ‘You are an amazing woman, much stronger than anyone I know. You’re beautiful and smart, and you’re a survivor. And you will get through this. I will help you, and so help me God, if that motherfucker ever lays his hands on you again, I’ll kill him.’

  I hugged Jackie. ‘Thanks for being here.’

  ‘There’s no other place I’d rather be. Would you like to turn back?’

  I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and blew my nose. ‘No. If I remember correctly, the rock outcropping isn’t that far away.’

  We walked about a quarter of a mile more. ‘There it is.’ I pointed to the water.

  Rocks of various sizes hugged the edge of the land and jutted out into the glistening lake. Just like we did when we were kids, Jackie and I climbed the rocks, navigating our way to the largest one at the tip.

  ‘Be careful.’ I pointed to the moss-covered rock behind me I’d just slipped on.

  I was too late. Jackie had slipped as well.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah. Man! I’m getting too old for this crap!’

  We finally reached the big rock and sat side by side, our feet dangling over the water below.

  ‘This brings back so many great memories,’ I said.

  Jackie sighed. ‘Where did the time go, Shel? I don’t feel like I’m forty-seven. Remember when someone who was forty-seven seemed ancient?’

  I laughed. ‘Well, if it’s any consolation, you look like you’re thirty.’

  ‘God, when I was thirty I was chasing Lucy and breastfeeding Nick.’

  We laughed.

  ‘It’s so peaceful here,’ I said. ‘Thanks for coming out with me. I love looking at the morning sun glistening on the water.’

  ‘Looks like thousands of diamonds,’ Jackie said.

  We sat for a few minutes in silence, the kind that comes from friends knowing one another so well they don’t feel compelled to speak just to avoid feeling awkward.

  ‘Are you ready to head back and get some lunch?’ Jackie asked. ‘I’ll eat with you before I leave.’

  I opened a can of soup and made ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch while Jackie called Bruce. She walked into the kitchen. ‘Bruce said Eric hasn’t called, which seems a little odd, don’t you think?’

  I shrugged. ‘Maybe a little. I’d have thought he’d call my best friend to see if she knew where I was. On the other hand, he probably figures if you did know you wouldn’t tell him. Of course, another possibility is that he doesn’t care.’

  ‘I don’t believe that,’ Jackie said. ‘From what you’ve told me, he’s a real control freak. And it would be a huge hit to his ego if you walked away. I wish I could stay.’

  I handed Jackie a bowl of soup. ‘No, you’ve done enough. I’ll be fine for a couple days. He has no idea where I am. There’s no possible way he can find me. You go home and take care of your family.’

  Jackie sighed. ‘I’ll be back up on Friday. That’s only three days away. And I’ll call in the morning and at night. I’m so glad our cell phones work here. I was a little worried about that, but Mom reminded me they’d recently erected a cell tower nearby.’

  We ate lunch and then I walked Jackie to her car. She threw her bag onto the back seat and hugged me. ‘Everything’s going to be alright. Remember the code phrase.’

  I nodded. ‘I twisted my ankle.’

  ‘If I hear that, I’ll come.’

  ‘I’m sure you won’t hear it,’ I said. ‘There’s absolutely no way Eric can track me.’

  I watched Jackie head down the stone lane and waved goodbye until I could no longer see her car.

  I looked up at the sky, and black, billowy clouds had rolled in. It looked as if it was going to storm. The morning sun was gone.

  Chapter 35

  I spent the afternoon doing something I rarely did anymore – reading. Jackie’s parents had a huge bookcase full of books. They seemed to read every genre, from romance to mystery, and I found many titles I’d heard of but hadn’t read. I chose a Harlequin romance, one I knew would have a happily-ever-after ending, which I really needed right now.

  I sat on one of the porch rockers to read. It was the typical boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy and girl reunite. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I still enjoyed reading how it happened.

  I wondered if my life story would make a good book. It certainly didn’t have a happy ending, and I wasn’t sure people would read it. They probably wouldn’t understand how a successful woman like me could fall for a guy like Eric. Looking back, I barely understood it myself.

  I shook my head trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind. I saw a flash of lightning, and I scrambled inside and closed the windows.

  Jackie had shown me where her parents kept the candles and I sat several on the kitchen table along with the lighter in case I needed them.

  Izzy followed me to the recliner and jumped up next to me. One storm and three hours later, I’d finished the book.

  I scratched Izzy’s back. ‘Why do I always pick the wrong guy, Iz? What’s wrong with me?’

  I found a notepad and made a list of things I needed to do.

  Make appointment with attorney

  Copy documents (ie. Financial statements)

  Find place to live

  I realized I hadn’t changed my will. If something happened to me, everything would go to Jackie. I also realized how dumb I’d been to add Eric to my bank account (he added me to his) and put the charge cards in both names. At the time, it all seemed so natural, a part of us becoming one. I thought it was another way to show our love and commitment to one another. And, of course, it made Eric happy.

  I wasn’t worried about being able to make it on my own. I knew I’d survive. My biggest worry was how Eric would react. I’d seen the dark devil that dwelled inside of him, and I feared what it could do. I was prepared to get a restraining order. I added that to the list.

  Get restraining order

  I figured that Eric wouldn’t cooperate in the discovery process. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d hid or diverted assets. He always had to be in control, and I’d seen how aggressive he could be when things didn’t go his way.

  M
y stomach rumbled and I made a sandwich. I figured Jackie would be calling soon, so I jumped in the shower and put on a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt. I was tired and planned to go to bed early.

  I was choosing a new book to read when my cell phone rang.

  ‘Everything going okay?’

  ‘Yeah, but being here alone kind of spooks me. Kind of makes me wish I’d taken that pistol shooting class with you.’

  ‘Do you want me to drive back up? I can leave now.’

  ‘No, no, no. I’ll be okay. I locked the doors and made sure all the windows were latched. Izzy will sleep with me. How’d your meeting go?’

  ‘Good. I really like the new principal. She seems to have her crap together, unlike her predecessor.’

  ‘Great. Still no call from Eric?’

  ‘Nada. I was almost tempted to drive to your house and give him a piece of my mind.’

  ‘No! Don’t do that!’

  ‘I won’t, but I’d like to.’

  ‘Did you tell Bruce?’

  ‘Yes, and he was shocked. He said that other than Eric being a bit over the top when it came to PDAs, he never would’ve guessed the guy was bat-shit crazy. Anyway, what did you do after I left?’

  ‘Read a book. Your parents have enough books to keep me busy for a month!’

  Jackie laughed. ‘They’re definitely readers. Mom asked what was going on, by the way.’

  ‘What did you tell her?’

  ‘I really didn’t want to go into it over the phone so I just said that you and Eric were having problems and you needed to get away for a while.’

  ‘Good answer.’

  Jackie and I talked some more and then I went to bed, taking the book with me. I read for a while then turned off the light. I had trouble falling asleep, even though I was tired. I couldn’t turn my brain off. Like a roulette ball, my mind bounced from one worry to the next.

  I don’t remember falling asleep, but it was three in the morning when I shot up in bed. I thought I heard a noise.

  I grabbed the flashlight under my pillow and turned it on, flashing it around the room. I didn’t see anything. Maybe I should check the rest of the cabin, just to make sure I was alone.