Regretting Redemption

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Smiling, Nana Nell crossed to the door. “I can’t wait to hear more. I’m going to watch the news until I fall asleep again. If you need me, let me know. Just don’t wake me up.” She winked at him and shuffled from the room.

  Ian blew softly on the surface of his drink. Was Mary as excited for that night as he was? Or was he going to embarrass himself by showing up and she’d forgotten?

  Maybe he needed to call her and remind her.

  ~~~

  Rounding up the cattle wasn’t his first choice to pass the time when his nerves were on high alert, but Ian had a list to complete before he could leave for Mary’s and nothing would make the hours go faster.

  He rode Peanut Butter down and around the fences, corralling the cows in and out, weaving them closer and closer to the pen. With the gates open, they filed in after some coaxing.

  Ian’s back pocket buzzed.

  Grabbing his phone, he answered, watching the cows mill about as he pulled the gates closed.

  “Yeah.” A small calf bellowed for its mother.

  “Ian? It’s Mary. Am I calling at a bad time?”

  Reining Peanut Butter a few yards from the pen to lessen the noise of the lowing of the cows, Ian stared into the distance at nothing in particular. “It’s only a bad time, if you’re calling to cancel, darlin’.” He put a smile in his voice but his stomach twisted with the possibility that that was exactly what she was doing.

  Her laugh carried over the phone, spilling into the mid-morning warmth. “No, I’m not calling to cancel. I do need to make a change though, if that’s okay? Can I meet you at the rodeo? I came back home a few days ago and it’s a long way to drive just to pick me up and go back.”

  The hours they would spend in the truck together were appealing enough, but Ian didn’t want to come across as desperate. He wasn’t, but he couldn’t get her out of his head and he wanted to see her again. He wanted to ask if she’d seen Edward, but it wasn’t his place.

  “Sure, we can meet there. You know where it’s at?” He picked at a frayed string from the blanket under the saddle, the white line standing out against the tan coat of his horse.

  “Of course. I’ll see you at six? I’ll look for your truck.” She sounded upbeat but still formal, like she wasn’t talking to a guy about a date but more like a sales call she was mildly interested in pursuing.

  “Sounds good. See you then.” Ian hung up, uncertainty rounding his shoulders. Was he pushing her into dating him? He didn’t want to be that guy.

  He needed to shake off the doldrums and return to his anxious excitement. But he couldn’t deny a lot of the shine had dimmed. He didn’t know which he preferred – the inability to concentrate because he was so excited, or frustrated focus because he didn’t know what was going on.

  Hopefully the night went better than his gut was telling him it would.

  ~~~

  She didn’t meet him by his truck.

  She never showed up anywhere near his truck.

  Where was she? Ian had parked as close to the ticket booths as he could which wasn’t farther than fifteen yards or so. He walked to the booths, purchased some tickets and a program and walked back to his truck. No way would he have missed her, had she shown up.

  And he waited.

  Side shows moved around him as the main attraction began inside. Vendors with popcorn, hotdogs, and licorice ropes walked past, heading for the bleachers in the makeshift arena.

  Ian swatted the rolled up program against his leg, tilting his hat back to see better from under the brim. He should’ve listened to his instinct and stayed home. Nothing good ever came from asking women out, especially the broken ones.

  A shout reached him over the music. Ian turned, searching the crowd of late-running rodeo fans. A woman with straight dark hair in a pair of blue jeans and a soft pink flannel shirt jerked her arm from a man’s hand.

  The same man who seemed to find it important to have a pissing contest off Mary’s front patio.

  Ian stormed over, fueled by his rage at Mary’s tardiness, but more by the sight of anyone touching her unkindly. His roar stopped the people around him, many rushing out of his way as he didn’t slow down.

  Edward looked toward Ian too late. Mary jerked free from his grasp. Edward doubled under the onslaught of Ian’s weight as they crashed to the ground.

  Ian wrestled himself above Edward, used to wrangling animals on his ranch. Edward was soft, like he worked at a desk all day and drove his truck to look masculine. Anger drove Ian’s fist toward Edward’s face. When he connected, he couldn’t stop himself from imagining Elena’s abuser under him. He didn’t want to stop and his fist connected again.

  Small, urgent hands gripped his shoulder. “Stop, Ian, you need to stop. Please.” Mary’s voice broke through his fog and he blinked, staring down at Edward. Red streaks coursed from Edward’s nose and splotched on Ian’s knuckles. “You need to get off him, Ian. Come on.”

  Mary guided Ian to his feet and then walked him to his truck. Terror faded to worry in her widened eyes and she glanced back twice toward Edward. At the truck, she patted the tailgate. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  Ian watched her curvy backside walk toward Edward, stooping to grab his elbow and help him to his feet. She pointed toward a line of cars and trucks on the far side of the parking lot. Edward’s lips contorted and then softened. He stepped forward, rubbing his hand down her arm.

  Brushing him off, Mary stamped her foot and pointed again. Edward backed off, holding his hands open at chest level.

  Finally, Mary turned from a retreating Edward and strode toward Ian.

  When she got close enough to hear him speak at a comfortable level, he said. “For a second there, I didn’t know if you’d come back.”

  She lifted her shoulder, irritation bright in her eyes. “Well, I said I’d do this with you. So let’s do it.” She smiled, but a tightness around her lips gave a different meaning to her words.

  Let’s do it, as in, let’s get this over with.

  Chapter 15

  Mary

  Mary’s surprise over seeing Edward and his drunkenness compounded a thousand-fold at the sudden appearance of Ian blowing through the crowd like he was auditioning to be a bull. His broad shoulders had little trouble getting through the multiple people and when he toppled to the ground with Edward, Mary didn’t know who to be more concerned about – Ian for dealing with Edward or Edward for not standing a chance.

  Returning from sending Edward home, Mary watched Ian for anger. Anytime Edward fought with someone, he treated her like a pile of cow dung for a few days – like the entire thing was her fault.

  She half-expected Ian to do the same.

  He handed her a ticket, their fingers touching for a brief moment and Mary remembered why she’d accepted the date. His gentleness. His caring. And the tingling he sent through her skin. Plus, he was exceptionally fun to look at.

  Oh, and when he spoke – his soft accent did funny things to her insides.

  She shyly glanced at him as they strode toward the doors. Past the line of buttons on his shirt, a mechanical bull bedecked in worn dark leather and horns atop a faux head grabbed her attention. Mary pointed at the robot, careful to keep her excitement in check. Men didn’t seem to like overeager women and she desperately wanted Ian to like her. “Look! I’ve always wanted to try one of those.”

  Ian glanced at the bull and stopped, reaching out and gently stopping her with a hand to her elbow. “Really? Well, you need to do it.”

  Gasping, Mary looked from him to the booth. “What? Wait. It’s probably not appropriate.”

  “Not appropriate? For what? You to have fun? Heaven forbid you do something you want to do, right?” Ian softly propelled her to the vendor’s table and leaned in to the woman manning the booth to be heard over the din. “I’d like one, please.”

  Mary watched, dumbfounded, as Ian handed over money and then held out a plastic bucket to her. “You’re going to want to take
off anything that might fall or get lost.” He lifted his eyebrows in challenge, pressing his lips together like he suppressed a smile.

  Nervous excitement swelled inside her chest. She didn’t do things like that. Glancing around, she placed her purse in the box and chewed on the inside of her lower lip. Her thighs quivered and her breath caught.

  The attendant smiled. “Have you ever ridden a bull before?”

  No, but she’d love to try. Shaking her head slightly, Mary moved toward the roped off entrance. The attendant lifted the rope gate and allowed her inside. Mary followed the woman across the straw strewn ground to another ring of sorts with padded flooring and padded posts around a tame-appearing mock bull. She couldn’t speak. Her palms moistened and she shot a glance back at Ian who watched with his forearms braced against the fence railing and a smile curving his soft looking lips.

  Touching points on the bull, the attendant instructed Mary. “Okay, hold on here and here, and make sure your feet are here.” The woman leaned in and tucked her head. “If you grip your thighs against the frame, you’ll have an easier time staying on, okay? We’ll go until you fall off or hit a minute.” She winked and patted the flank of the cow, waiting while Mary mounted.

  Her foot slipping, Mary closed her eyes and tried again to step into the dangling stirrup. Taking a deep breath, she mounted the bull and gripped the reins like the lady instructed. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t raise her hand into the air like she’d seen on television shows and commercials.

  She glanced at the attendant and nodded in a short jerking motion.

  One last second and she met Ian’s gaze, her heart lurching.

  And then it started. The jerking sway moved the bull forward then hauled Mary back. The momentum yanked her back and forth as the mechanical animal lunged and lurched to break her free.

  She whooped and called, and involuntarily lifted her arm into the air.

  In moments her ride was over. She didn’t fall. The slowing of the machine as it came to a stop surged through her, waking her from the euphoric trance.

  All smiles, the attendant helped Mary from the bull. “Well done. Usually first timers fall and try again. That was great!”

  Mary grinned and thanked the woman, following her from the ring to return to Ian.

  “How was it? Everything you hoped it’d be?” His grin reached his eyes, the lashes framing kindness and expectation. Did he think she hadn’t enjoyed it?

  Breathless, she claimed his hand. “Thank you so much, that was… intense. I’ve always wanted to try, but…”

  “But?” Ian leaned closer, his gaze on her lips, flitting to her eyes and back.

  “I’ve always been discouraged from trying new things.” She didn’t tell him Edward had kept her back.

  Or the fact that her dad had always insisted she do only respectable, safe things.

  Or the fact that she never had anyone push her to do anything out of her comfort zone except for Lisa who only did it to be a brat, not because she thought Mary actually wanted to try something.

  Twining her fingers through his, Mary fell into step beside him and beamed his direction. “That was so…” She shrugged. “Is it okay if I don’t have the words for how great it was?”

  Ian nodded, solemn. “Of course. I’m glad.” He tugged her along toward the gates. “Come on, let’s go watch this rodeo. Although, if you want my opinion, I just watched the best one.” He winked her direction, his dimple flashing with his grin.

  “Thanks.” She ran her shoulder into his arm with playful pressure. Hopefully he’d be okay with talking and getting to know each other during the rodeo. She didn’t want to sit beside him and do nothing. “It was fun.” And empowering. For some reason, the weight on Mary’s shoulders lifted. He’d supported what she wanted to do. Pushed her to do it.

  You didn’t walk away from a person like that.

  ~~~

  Mary’s phone buzzed again in her pocket. She glanced to the side and slid the screen into view.

  Lisa. Again.

  Yanking the cell from her pocket, she tucked its still-vibrating body into the side pocket of her purse. Lisa could call all she wanted now. The phone wouldn’t distract Mary from Ian.

  He stood, holding out his hand for hers. “Ready?”

  The crush of people heading for the doors finally dawned on her. The rodeo was over. The last couple hours had passed so quickly and Mary hadn’t realized how close to ending it’d been.

  Following Ian through the throng of cowboy hats and shuffling boots, Mary admired his broad shoulders and trim waist. She’d never noticed how much more masculine Ian was than Edward.

  Okay, now she was just blatantly lying to herself. Of course she noticed, so had every other female creature in the state of Montana. Hard to miss the masculine stride of Ian’s long legs or the angle of his jaw.

  Enough back and forth. She liked him. A lot. And Edward wasn’t half the man he was.

  The crowds thinned and she moved to walk beside Ian, glancing at his profile under his cowboy hat. How would his lips feel against hers, instead of against her forehead? Her palms itched to touch his hair. Would the texture of the faint smattering of hair on his arms match the glossy hair peeking from under the bucket of his hat?

  Ian walked her past his truck to her car. Beside the Subaru, he leaned his hip against the rear panel and crossed his arms. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  There was that formality again. She grinned, drunk on her accomplishment of riding the bull and having such a great night, even after the scene with Edward. “Thank you for the invite.”

  Meeting her eyes, Ian matched her grin. “Thank you for finally showing up.”

  She laughed. “I’m sorry about that. But… Edward followed me from my house and I couldn’t get away from him and he wasn’t even making sense.” She scrunched up her face. “I was pretty surprised when you came out of nowhere and flattened him.”

  His face stiffened and his voice lost all trace of humor. “Look, I’m not going to apologize for defending you. That guy doesn’t have the right to touch you. Not like that.” He clenched his jaw. “He’s lucky you pulled me off him.”

  “Well, thank you for not killing him? Seriously, though, thank you for sticking up for me. Nobody does, you know?” She watched him for a long, drawn out moment, where her breathing became more noticeable and her heart pounded in her ears. Mary arched her eyebrow, leaning toward him, like she waited for something. “Now you thank me for something else.”

  “Oh, yeah? What else should I thank you for?” He lifted his chin, watching her – the challenge strong.

  Shrugging, Mary placed her hand on his forearm. “I don’t know. This?”

  She leaned up, standing on tiptoe and angling her head. Their lips connected and Ian dropped his arms, wrapping them around her back and lower waist. The heat intensified and Mary sank into his embrace.

  This. So much this.

  Chapter 16

  Ian

  Ian stiffened at the initial contact. He hadn’t expected her to have such a good time.

  When she fell into his arms and planted her supple lips on his, all of the worry from the night faded. He heated with the embrace and swept her toward the side of the car, leaning her carefully against the door. He pressed his palm to her lower back and bent her away from him as he explored the depths of her mouth.

  Bloody hell, the woman was hot-blooded.

  He tore his mouth from hers, taking in her hooded eyes and swollen lips. She gazed at him dazedly as a slow smile spread her lips. It was the first time he’d seen her without any guards up.

  He planned on seeing her many more times like that.

  “Thank you.” Ian winked and Mary giggled.

  She pushed at his chest. “Oh, you.” Shyly, she straightened from the car, rearranging her pants and tugging at her hair. Her soft voice crawled to him on the soft night air. “Thank you again, this was so much fun.”

  “Do you want to give me some
thing else to thank you for?” He lifted his eyebrow, already moving in for another kiss.

  This time he connected first, satisfied when he moved in and erased the surprise on her slightly parted lips.

  ~~~

  He’d always heard about Cloud Nine, but he’d never experienced the euphoria from one evening before. Not even with his last girlfriend.

  At home, the heat rushing through him still hadn’t cooled.

  In the dark, he bridled Peanut Butter and climbed astride her bareback. He needed fresh, cool Montana night air to wash over him, cooling his ardor. Maybe he’d be able to think about something besides Mary.