She was too sincere, and her compassionate understanding all too real. Considering all she said and looking at her standing her ground, her hazel eyes glistening in the bright moonlight, he couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. Each day with her proved how much more his love for her could grow. “You know, when you finally told me what had happened, I honestly wanted to jump a flight to come see you and make sure you were all right, before I beat that piece of shit to the ground. Show him what it’s really like to try and beat on someone his own size. Hitting a woman is just pure cowardice.” His thumb ran over the scars left behind as reminders of her ex-husband’s abuse, as his eyes followed. He still couldn’t believe she had stayed so long. Realization hit him hard when he thought about how close he had been to losing her for forever, not but a year ago. Fury seared through him with a renewed vengeance.
The tick in his jaw worked overtime as Raeve feathered her fingers over his hand. Tracing the jagged scars lines on her face and arms, a pool of raw hatred burned like acid in his gut. He prayed for just one face to face meeting with her ex, to repay him for all the reminders written on her flesh of his love.
Cupping his hand, she grazed his cheek with the other, gently beckoning his gaze to hers. “It’s over now. He’ll never hurt me again,” she whispered. “If it weren’t for your strength, your love, I don’t know if I would’ve survived it. Just you coming back into my life sparked a fire that sat simmering below the surface. I feared I had given up on myself. I started to hate myself for being too weak to walk away.”
“But you said you were already in the process of leaving him.”
“Yes, that’s true. After how cruelly he treated me when I found out about the cancer, and how horrible he was after the surgery, I realized that I felt nothing for him anymore. All I had left was the fire burning deep inside me.” She squared her shoulders, staring up through her dark lashes, “That is, until I stumbled across your letters. I thought I had lost them over time due to all the moves, but there they were.” A small smile spread across her face, softening her as a small laugh slipped past her lips. “I must’ve read them about a hundred times before I worked up the courage to find you again. By the time I emailed you, I had already been deep into research for divorce. It wasn’t until the first time you admitted to me how you felt, that I really felt a sense of hope, and didn’t that just jack up my fire! I had hoped you still felt something for me, anything, even hatred or animosity. I nearly broke into tears when you said it, because I already knew that I felt the same way.”
“Sweetheart, any bad feelings I held, were because I was hurting. I loved you so much, that when you left me I honestly felt like you destroyed a part of me. But hearing your voice that first time after so many years, how nervous you sounded on the voicemail, it was pretty cute actually. I wasn’t sure if I should open that can of worms and call you back, but I couldn’t just walk away either. I needed you to know how I felt. And learning that you had married such a piece of shit just irked me hard. Sweetheart, what were you thinking getting with him?”
“That he was the opposite of you. I didn’t want any reminders of you. Like I said, he treated me the way I deserved to be treated. Like, I was nothing.”
“You are more than that. You deserved more than that,” he ground out. Fury burned in every word. She had subjected herself to his lies and cruelty, for what? Just so she didn’t have to feel what real love was?
“You’ve always deserved better than that douche bag.”
“I know.” Aidan watched her, as Raeve went to that dark place in her head and wrapped her arms around herself. He saw the way her face dropped and imagined her thoughts ran along the line of the last time she saw her ex-husband and the last fight.
***
2010
Days of unrelenting fighting and constant accusations of adultery and lies, had worn her down to a state of complete exhaustion. Too many times she had to cover up the bruises, praying that no one at work asked any questions when she wore long-sleeved shirts in mid-July. His insults and allegations flew around, cracking at her like a whip. Raeve had no idea how much longer she could put up with it. He had raised his hands threatening to hit her twice since the latest arguments had started. She had stopped sleeping with him months earlier, because of the continual assumptions she was sleeping around with every man and woman she spoke to. Each dig stabbed her in the heart. The harder she tried to convince him of her innocence the more furious he grew. Yet she knew the truth, it had been him who had been cheating on her for years. His family lied to cover his tracks, until she had learned firsthand for herself. The truth wasn’t pretty, but he had become crazed and delusional. Trapping her like an animal, he controlled every move she made.
With his daily round of insults, he fluently tossed out curses like it was his first language. The wounds on her arms and back had barely begun to heal before he started pushing her around again. Finding relief in a trip to the market, Raeve prayed he didn’t insist on going. A small reprieve was all she could hope for. “I’m going to pick up something for dinner,” she said flatly.
“Yeah, and what are you getting? Dinner isn’t for a couple of hours. Why do you need to go now to get it?” he snapped.
Raeve exhaled a heavy sigh, she knew tonight wasn’t going to be a quiet one. He was already in a mood, and his drinking had started early in the day. Slaking off his attitude, she continued to write down the few groceries she needed. “I was thinking steak and potatoes. Is that all right with you, Master?” She bit back the bile that rose in her throat as she called him by the name he had chosen for himself. She wished she could just pack up the truck and leave, but it wasn’t that easy.
“Whatever. Fucking bitch…….And get another sixer while you’re there. Hurry up.” His words weren’t gentle or kind. His order was to be obeyed, and she knew the moment she started the car he would start in on the text messages and phone calls.
It had been the same thing for the past two years. She couldn’t go to work without a phone call or text every twenty minutes. Had this really become her life? Living as a virtual prisoner in not only her home, but her marriage as well? She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d gone to the bathroom by herself. He always had an excuse, and made a game out of it. He popped the lock when she tried to take a bath, demanding to see her phone. Raeve tried in vain to find a small moment of peace, but she soon realized it had become a lost cause. There wasn’t a move she made that he didn’t control.
As she edged down the street, the first text buzzed in. She rolled her eyes, it wasn’t even worth looking at, she knew it was him. Idly she found the number she wanted. Only one voice could ease her and give her strength. Pressing the send key, she hoped to hell that his voice would answer.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Relief washed over her in that moment. “Hey.” She tried to hide the irritation in her voice, but it was a wasted effort. He knew before she could even get out another word.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Concern grew in his voice the longer she waited to answer. “Sweetheart, what is it?”
“It’s nothing. He’s just in a mood again. I’m so sick of this shit.” Raeve felt his concern wash over her. Truthfully she was worried as hell herself. Things had been building up again, and the signs were there. It was just a matter of time before he exploded.
“Leave him, just do it. Go to your parents’ house. Whatever it takes, just pack up and leave him. Jesus! Do you want me to jump a flight? I will, just say the word.”
“No.” She shook her head. That was the last thing she needed. Wanted yes, but she didn’t want him fighting her battles. “I’ve got this under control. Don’t worry, Aidan. I’m just complaining that’s all. I got myself in this mess, I’ll get myself out.”
“If he hits you again…”
“Yes, yes I’ll leave him. I’m just trying to save up some extra cash as a safety net is all. I can’t stay in a marriage where there is no love or tr
ust.”
“You should’ve left him a long time ago. Hell, you should’ve just stayed with me from the start.”
Raeve winced at his words. It was a harsh dig, but there was truth to it, and she knew it.
“I know, you’re right. Ah shit, that’s him calling, hang on.”
“Okay, sweetheart.” Raeve knew his words were meant to sound kind, but the utter hatred he felt leaked out without meaning to. “What did that douche bag want?”
“Just to see who I was talking to, and why I was taking so long.”
“How did he know you were talking to someone?”
“I have no idea. I’ve changed all my passwords to everything. Nat called me a couple of nights ago saying I emailed her asking all kinds of questions about where we should hook up and other shit. She realized quickly that it wasn’t me, obviously, and called me immediately about it.
When I got home I saw my laptop was open but not on. So I asked him if he had used it, and of course he denied it. I checked my email and couldn’t find the one I supposedly sent, so I had her forward it back to me. And sure as shit, he had sent it, while I was grocery shopping! So I called him out on it, and he accused me of trying to start shit, saying I planted it, and what was I doing talking to other guys. So I went on to say that it wasn’t a guy, it was Natalie, and why would she start shit?
He couldn’t give me a straight answer and threw a fit before storming off to his buddy’s house. So I asked around to see if he had done similar things to more of my friends, and I was shocked when I found out he had done this to a half dozen others. They all quickly realized that it wasn’t me emailing or chatting with them. His guilty conscious is eating away at him, and he’s trying to ruin and control my life. Christ, I can’t even talk to my brother or my parents anymore without him listening in or questioning me. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m fucking exhausted!”
“You need to leave him. Has he given you shit about the sex thing?” Raeve could sense the tick in his jaw working overtime as he tried to remain stoic.
Heaving out another sigh, she knew it was pointless to try and hide the truth. She was already an emotional wreck, and it wouldn’t make a difference to hide the truth anyway. He would eventually find out. “Yes. He spent most of the night screaming at me, running in and out of the bedroom every five minutes to lay another round of insults and accusations on me. How could anyone get in the mood when the person you’re married to constantly calls you a whore and a liar? Blames you for ruining the relationship and states he knows for a fact all the people I’ve supposedly slept with? Yet each one of those people has no problem stating otherwise.”
The audible grind of Aidan’s teeth over the phone sent shivers down her spine. It wasn’t fair for her to spill all of this on him, and she knew it. But he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“God, Aidan, the things he says to me…I can’t take it. I mean he didn’t stop until he finally passed out around a little after four.” His words shouldn’t hurt anymore, she had no feeling left for him, but each little dig and every insult was like a stab to the chest. How could so much hatred come from one person?
“It’s all right sweetheart. Just know that I’m there with you, in your heart and in spirit. But I’ll say it again. You need to leave him before something bad happens.”
She bit out a harsh laugh because she realized not much more bad could happen. “I know. You’re right. Listen, I need to get back before he comes looking for me. I’ll try and call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, sweetheart. If you need anything, anything at all, call me. If he hits you again, you better call the police. I love you, sweetheart. Always have, always will.”
Guilt washed over her, it wasn’t fair for her to confide in him after all she had done. Still, here he was, as gentle and protective as ever. “I know.” After kissing the receiver, the call disconnected. Slowly she lowered the phone, deleted her call entry log, and dropped the device in her purse.
“I don’t deserve you.” She was tired of playing the game, pretending to be a good wife, when she could barely remember who she was. The man she loved with every beat of her heart was too far away, but he still loved her. Her heart wanted to cry, and her head wanted to scream. “Nice fucking situation, Raeve. You’re stuck with an asshole and can’t be with the one you love. Only you could fuck up your life this bad.”
Her phone buzzed violently again shaking her from her reverie. “Yes,” she said curtly.
“Where the hell are you?”
“Still at the market, why?” she knew where this was leading, another round of ‘hurry your ass up.’ Sighing, the overwhelming feeling of another fight on the horizon crept up and hit her solidly in the face. Raeve knew all too well that there was no way she was going to get out of the impending battle. It didn’t matter if she left for the night or for a few days. That only prolonged the inevitable.
“You’ve been gone for an hour. What are you buying, the whole fucking store?”
Looking down at her watch, all she could do was roll her eyes, “It’s been twenty minutes. Could you exaggerate any more?”
“Right! I saw the clock before you left! I know how long you’ve been gone. What did you go meet up with your boyfriend? You can tell me, really? Where are you?”
“What you can’t hear the food scanner?” just as she finished, the cashier thanked her for shopping.
“Thank you,” she said quickly, hovering back over the phone she snapped, “I’m leaving now.”
“Sure, pretty convenient.” He snapped. Raeve felt her stomach twist tighter sensing his growing anger. “What, did you pull into a gas station just as I called? Whatever.” Click. His sullen mood had gone from bad to worse. It was going to be a bad night, and she knew it.
Chapter Fourteen
The hours had passed, filled with more accusations and fighting. The harder she stood her ground, the angrier he became, slamming the cabinet doors so hard they nearly came off their hinges.
“Just leave!” she screamed. “Go out with your friends. Please just get out!”
It was useless. She tried to walk away, lock herself in the bedroom, anything to get out of the path of his wrath, but nothing worked. Every closed door was pried open to start his tirade again.
“Why? So you can call over your boyfriends or chat online with them all night? Please, I know what you’ve been doing. You’re such a fucking whore. I never should’ve married you. My mother was right about you. You’re nothing but a pathetic loser. Stupid bitch.”
“Fuck you!” she screamed. Hours of his constant stream of nastiness had taken its toll. “Leave now!” she demanded, fisting her hands tight to hide the shaking.
“Or what?” he challenged, getting up in her face. “What are you going to do about it, cunt?”
Anger welled up, ready to boil over. His rank breath, coated in beer, suffocated the air around her. Each word spewed spit before he hauled back and launched a mouthful of saliva in her face. “Choke on that you fucking slut.”
He had her backed up against wall, her hands were balled into fists as she tried to push past him, and she was shaking in fear of what was about to come. The look in his crazed eyes told her this was just the beginning of a very bad situation. Her internal alarms screamed for her to get out, but the crush of his body pressing against hers, and the feel of his rigid length, scared the hell out of her. He was hard, getting off on his power trip. The glint in his eyes as he torqued her fear into overdrive seemed to be his newest addiction.
Bringing her hands up, she pushed against his body, trying to break from his hold. “Get the fuck off me!” she screamed.
The situation became a game of survival as he slammed her back into the wall, knocking the breath from her body. Raeve fell into a heap on the floor.
“Get up! Get out now!” her mind screamed. Fear tore through every cell in her body as she scrambled to get off the floor.
He lunged for her once again, grabbing her arms and pulling he
r off the floor before she even caught the ground beneath the soles of her feet. His twisted grin and flaring nostrils made the menace he threw off morph into something more hideous as he threw her across the kitchen. With a hard thud she bounced off the unforgiving cold tile floor. Raeve’s instincts kicked into overdrive as survival had her picking herself up off the floor. Fear coursed through every vein in her body screaming for her to get the hell out of there. She took one step, and crushing pain screamed down her leg. “Shit.” Panicked, she prayed to God she could make it out of the house before he caught her.
His insidious laughter broke through her pain clouded thoughts and served as the encouragement she needed to get moving. Pulling on every ounce of her courage to make a run for it, she didn’t make it past the living room before he nailed her against the wall again. His cruel game was well under way as he raked a feverish hand down her shirt.
“You’re not leaving, bitch,” he promised.
When he wrapped his fingers around her throat, she prayed for death to spare her. She didn’t want to die at his hand. Raeve thrashed and struggled against his hold as he lifted her into the air. She threw punch after punch, but nothing seemed to faze him. She hauled back, landing a kick square in his nut sack and watched horrified when David didn’t so much as flinch. There was not a single wince from him before he slammed her into the wall again. The cold sneer that sliced across David’s face as he dropped Raeve to the ground couldn’t compare to the blinding pain she felt as her knee buckled followed by his laughter. Her head spun like a merry-go-round as she tried to get her senses back online.
The Last Kiss Page 11
