Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1)

by Dannielle Wicks

  He glances away shyly. “I want to be an author.” My eyes widen in surprise then Mark and Ashlee’s conversation overtakes the table.

  When we finish our meal, Mark drives us all to the theater. It looks like an old Broadway establishment. I love all the carvings and embellishments covering the entryway. Mark buys us all a ticket to the latest comedy and two large buckets of popcorn.

  We make our way into the large screening room and sit in the front row. I don’t like sitting all the way at the front, it hurts my neck. I usually make a point to sit in the back row so no one is sitting behind me and I don’t have to tilt my head back too far. I push my preferences to the side and follow the group.

  The movie ads roll and Mark puts his arm around a giggling Ashlee. I peek at Riley out of the corner of my eye, and he smiles at me but doesn’t make a move. I’m so focused on every twitch Riley makes, I don’t even realize I’ve missed the entire movie and Mark is motioning for us to leave our seats. I stumble across an apology and follow Riley out to the car.

  ***

  Mark kisses Ashlee goodbye while Riley and I just stand beside each other awkwardly, waiting. Once they’ve left and we get back inside the house, I let out a loud relieved breath.

  “Wasn’t that wonderful!” Ashlee sings, dancing around the entry.

  I smile at her joy and shake my head. “Yeah, it was fun. Don’t ever do that to me again.” I walk up the stairs to my room, Ashlee right behind me.

  “Why not? Did you have fun?” she asks as I reach my door.

  “Yes, it was just embarrassing.”

  “No, it wasn’t, you need to get a social life. I’m here to help you.” She grins and turns to go to her own room. “Goodnight, Sammy.”

  ***

  The buzzing ringtone of my phone wakes me and I lean over to my nightstand, silencing it with a swipe of my finger. Wiping my eyes, I look down at the blurry screen to see I have a new text message from an unknown number. Curious, I open it.

  Riley: Hi Sam, last night was fun. Just wanted to know if maybe you wanted to get together again

  Riley? How did he get my number? I flick the covers off and accidently kick Kai in the face. He grunts but doesn’t move. I pause and look at him. He’s been stuck in the house a lot over the last two weeks; maybe we should go for a walk. I head to Ashlee’s room and knock on her door.

  I hear her grumble, “What?” And open the door.

  “Hey, did you by any chance give Riley my number?”

  Ashlee looks at me, confused, then her eyes focus and she smiles. “Yeah, I did. Mark told me he really likes you. He asked for it before he left last night.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Maybe a little warning next time?”

  “Pfft…” she mumbles, then rolls over and falls back to sleep. Holding my phone like it’s a fragile piece of priceless art, I tip-toe back to my room and have a shower while I figure out how to respond to Riley’s text. Kai is still asleep when I finish getting dressed. I sit on my bed to type out an answer.

  Sammy: Hey, I would love 2 go out again. When were you thinking?

  That sounded desperate. I’m such an idiot. Is this how everyone feels when they text someone they like? Five minutes later, my phone buzzes with a reply.

  Riley: Tonight? 7 pm. I’ll pick you up.

  Kai

  He’s here for Sam again. I’m nowhere near the door and I still know it’s him. Poking my head around the corner, I watch Sam answer the door. She smiles and they leave. I walk back to the kitchen to see what Ashlee’s doing. The microwave beeps and she pulls out an over-inflated bag of popcorn.

  “Come on, Chester.” She turns and motions for me to follow her out to the sofa, spreading herself along the cushions with the big overflowing bag resting on her stomach. I stretch out on the ground in front of her.

  Sammy

  Riley takes me to a fancy French restaurant near the movie theatre. I look down at my jeans in dismay, he should have told me where we were going so I could dress appropriately, now I feel like a hillbilly. The fake French waiter gives me a once over with a criticizing eye then leads us to our table and hands us each a menu.

  Once he’s gone, I lean across the table toward Riley. “Why didn’t you tell me we were going to a formal restaurant?”

  He smiles at me. “You look beautiful, don’t worry about it.” I blush and lift the menu back up to hide my face. The snobby waiter comes back a moment later and asks for our orders. I look down at the menu and realize I can’t read a single thing on it, Crap. Riley orders something I couldn’t even begin to pronounce and then looks toward me expectantly. Double crap.

  “Umm…” I peek over the top of the menu at Riley.

  “She’ll have the Soupe a L’oignon,” he answers for me handing back our menus.

  I take a deep breath once the waiter’s gone and smile. “Thank you, I think you just saved me. I was sure if I didn’t pronounce something right, he would’ve kicked me out.”

  “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let him touch you.” Riley laughs, reaching for his glass of water and taking a sip. I’m so nervous, all I can think of is the last date I went on with that psychopath Alex. I reach for my glass as well, but my fingers are too shaky to grasp it.

  Riley frowns and captures my hand in his. “Are you okay?”

  Well, not now I’m not; he’s holding my hand, I might need to escape outside for air. Why wasn’t I this affected yesterday with Ashlee and Mark? I manage to smile at him, though I think it came out as more of a grimace. His forehead creases in concern, but before he can say anything the waiter comes back with our dinner.

  Riley lets go of my fingers and I look down at the meal he ordered for me. It’s a white bowl on a saucer filled with a cheesy looking pie. I go to grasp a spoon and realize there are three to choose from. My hand hovers over each one in turn until Riley reaches across the table and touches a finger to the middle one. Oh god, he must think I’m so silly. My self-conscious giggle comes out choked and nervous. I pick up the right spoon and dig it into my bowl.

  Once I’ve finished the delicious soupy-pie, Riley orders us a dessert to split. The chocolate éclair arrives and Riley cuts it in half. Chocolate cream pours out instead of the vanilla custard I’m used to. I take a bite and I’m in heaven.

  Riley chuckles from the other side of the table.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  “Nothing,” he says, leaning across and using his napkin to wipe the chocolate cream from my chin.

  My eyes widen—I’m mortified. I place my head on the edge of the table in defeat. “I’m so embarrassed; you must think I’m such an idiot.”

  He chuckles again and gets up from his chair. “Not at all.” He places his hand on my back and leans in close to whisper, “I actually think you’re quite cute.”

  I peek up at him through the strands of hair that have come loose from my ponytail. “Really?”

  “Really.” He nods, placing money down on the table top. “Want to leave this snobby place?”

  I grin and get up from the table. “Definitely.”

  I follow Riley past our waiter and out the front door. He leads me to his car, and instead of taking me home, he drives us out of town. Unlike Miakoda Falls, Black Pike’s forest encroaches on all four sides of the town and is within walking distance of the center of the city.

  I’m wondering where he’s taking me when he pulls onto a dirt road. I glance around warily, thinking about Alex and how he pushed me into a dark alley. We exit the trees and the whole town is spread out in the valley below us, the white of the snow still hanging around, making all the lights twinkle like stars.

  “Wow,” I declare, glancing over at Riley before jumping out of the car. The bang of his door echoes through the quiet as he hops out too.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it? I used to come up here all the time with—” he pauses and looks at me. “Never mind.” I brush off his comment and take in the view.

  ***

  Riley drives me
home and when we pull up in my driveway, he tilts toward me and kisses me chastely on the cheek. “I had a really good time, Sam. Would you like to go out again?”

  “Yes, and you can call me Sammy, if you’d like,” I answer, opening the car door.

  Riley smiles. “Okay. Good night, Sammy.”

  “Good night.” I walk slowly to the door and look back as Riley pulls out of the driveway. I sigh dreamily, twist the knob, and step inside.

  Ashlee is fast asleep on the sofa when I walk over to turn off the TV. Kai is on the floor in front of her, watching me. I gently nudge Ashlee’s shoulder.

  “Wake up, time to go to bed.” She grumbles something at me, then sits up and pushes past me to the stairs and her room. I turn back to Kai. “Come on.” He follows me up to my room, but instead of jumping on the bed, he curls up on the floor beside my desk. I frown, confused, before heading to the bathroom to get changed.

  ***

  A loud giggle has me up and out of bed early the next morning and walking out into the hall to investigate. I freeze when I come face to face with a naked man’s chest. Why does this keep happening to me? Trying to keep my eyes averted from his very naked lower regions, I look up.

  Mark? He covers himself with his hands.

  “Oh Sammy,” Ashlee calls from the doorway to her room. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you Mark is coming over for a bit today.”

  “I can see that.”

  Mark turns around and quickly heads back into Ashlee’s room. She grins at me, gives me a thumbs up, and closes the door behind her. I stand there for a minute in shock.

  Kai is human and swinging around on my desk chair when I walk back in my room. I raise an eyebrow at him. “Hear that, did you?”

  He grins at me. “Yep, saw the first part too, until I realized he was naked. That’s not something I need to see.” He stops swinging around and stares at me, dead serious. “Have you ever seen a naked man before, Sam?”

  I scoff at him. “Of course I have.”

  Kai shakes his head. “Pictures on the internet and in books don’t count,” he states with a cheeky smile. He stands up and heads out my door. I frown at him as he walks past.

  Wait a minute, he’s leaving my room. I rush out after him. “Hey, where are you going? Ashlee is here,” I shout-whisper after him.

  “She’ll be busy with him most of the day. I’m safe, trust me.” He would know, I guess, it used to be him in Mark’s position, or should I say positions. I giggle at my inside joke and follow Kai down the stairs to the kitchen.

  “Does it bother you that she’s sleeping with someone else?” I ask as I enter the kitchen. He has his mouth stuffed full of ham when he emerges from the fridge.

  He swallows the mouthful quickly and sighs. “No, she moved on to someone else the day I went missing,” he says, looking away.

  I can’t even imagine how awful it would be to watch everyone I cared for move on. Kai shivers in the early morning chill as he shoves another slice of ham in his mouth and sits down on the floor against the fridge. “I’m sorry.” I kneel down and sit on the cold tiles beside him.

  “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Kai shakes his head with a smile, cramming another slice in his mouth.

  “Do you want to go for a walk?”

  “I don’t have any shoes,” he replies after swallowing his mouthful.

  Damn, that’s right. Hold on, I have an idea. “There’s a thrift shop just a block down the road; you can walk that far barefoot, can’t you?”

  He shrugs. “I suppose so.”

  We walk slowly along the footpath so Kai doesn’t step on anything sharp. He has his arms wrapped around himself to ward off the slight chill still lingering in the morning air.

  A bell dings as I open the door to the small thrift shop. The whole room is stacked full of clothes and accessories, some of it actually looks quite interesting and colorful. Kai passes me and heads for the shoes while I walk over to a clothing rack overflowing with coats.

  He’s back standing beside me a moment later.

  I twist to face him. “Find something?”

  He lifts up his covered feet to show me, and then starts sifting through the coats in front of us. I stand back and take a good look at him. He needs another haircut, and a shave. I’m not entirely sure he’s put enough weight back on, but then I didn’t really look at his figure when he was being an ass to me at school. I pause to study his face as his eyes flicker over the clothes, he looks so sad.

  “Are you okay?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

  He glances back at me, a little confused. “I’m fine. Why?” He grabs a hoodie off the rack and I follow him to the counter to pay, handing over a few bills to the kind old lady. I do a double take at her white hair and green eyes. Maybe she’s not as old as I first thought. She grins as we leave the shop.

  CHAPTER 17

  Kai

  I used to wear only the best. It didn’t matter what it looked like—Serena did the shopping—but it was still the finest and most expensive. And now…Now I’m reduced to secondhand clothes and old worn out shoes. How far I’ve fallen.

  Sam walks half a step in front of me. I can’t see her face, she’s turned away from me. I never asked her about her date with Riley. Maybe she thinks I don’t care.

  Do I care?

  She slows suddenly when she realizes I’m not beside her. I don’t want to ask but now that I’m thinking about it, I have to know.

  “So how was your date last night?”

  She stumbles a bit, but recovers quickly. “It was fantastic, actually.” She smiles, her eyes sparkling. “Riley is so nice and considerate.” She looks off into the distance. Probably thinking about the idiot, I imagine.

  “Great. That’s great.” I don’t mean for it to come out clipped, but it does. Her eyes dart to mine curiously, but she doesn’t say anything. Quick, I have to say something else. “So when are you going out with him again?” Oh yeah, that’s really something I want to know. I flinch at the sudden pain in my head and hasten our pace.

  “I’m not sure. I guess he’ll call me.” She looks a little worried. I can see it in the creases on her forehead. She thinks he won’t ask her out again.

  I sigh quietly, my breath coming out as fog in the chilled air. “Don’t stress. If he’s smart, he’ll call you.”

  She glances at me with a small smile and sticks her hand in her pocket to retrieve the house keys. As soon as we’re inside, I lose the shoes and head up to Sammy’s room. She knows what I’m doing and stays downstairs.

  I don’t even make it through the bathroom door before I’m on my hands and knees panting. The pain is worse when I change back, probably because it’s not natural. Everything hurts, even the tips of my fingers and toes burn. I collapse on the cold floor and pass out.

  Sammy

  Mark stays for dinner, much to my embarrassment. He smirks at me every time I happen to glance his way, making me blush. I’ve seen plenty of naked men…in movies and magazines. Okay, so Kai was right, I haven’t seen anyone naked in real life.

  Ashlee throws me a funny look and grins. When the awkward dinner is over I hide on the sofa with Kai as Mark and Ashlee say goodbye in the entry way. I can hear them kissing and whispering to each other. Sinking lower into the sofa cushions, I cover my face and peek out from under a cushion at Kai, his knowing silver eyes stare back at me.

  Ashlee jumps on me as soon as Mark has driven away. “Little red in the face there, Sammy.” She laughs, pulling the cushions off me.

  “Am not.” I try to get off the sofa, but she drags me back down by my wrist.

  “Are you still a virgin?” she asks in all seriousness. My cheeks burn and I look away. Kai is listening to us from where he’s stretched out on the floor. Not cool. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she assures me.

  “Oh god, what if Riley wants to go all the way? I don’t think I’m ready.” Did I just say that out loud? I blush again and hide my face.

  Ash
lee places her hand on my shoulder. “If you’re not ready, just say no. If he’s as nice as I think he is, he’ll understand and respect your decision.”

  I regard Ashlee’s sincere expression for a moment, then nod slowly. She smiles wide. “Great, now let’s get our fan girl on.” Kai groans from the floor, Ashlee gives him a weird look, then turns her focus back on the TV, switching to her favorite drama.

  If he’s not careful, she’ll start thinking something’s up with Kai. I’m starting to really like her, which will make it hard if I have to admit her to the hospital after she loses her mind.

  ***

  I slip into my regular seat in Economics and pull out my notebook.

  “Hey.” I jump and Riley laughs from behind me. I mentally smack my forehead; how could I forget he’s in this class with me?

  “Hi,” I answer, spinning in my seat to face him. His vivid green eyes stand out on his face.

  He studies me for a moment before asking, “I’ve been talking to Mark. Do you think you girls would be up for another group date? I was thinking a club this time.”

  Remembering my last experience at a night club, I grin. “Definitely, that’s sounds great.”

  At the end of the lecture, I dawdle putting my books away, hoping that maybe Riley will talk to me again.

  “Bye, Sammy,” he calls out from halfway out the door. How did he get there so fast?

  ***

  By the time I get home I’m exhausted. “Sammy!” Ashlee yells, running down the stairs. “We’re throwing a party next weekend! Is that okay? I’m calling it the ‘End of a Boring Summer Party.’” She spreads her arms wide and looks at the ceiling, playing up the name.

  “That’s fine, sounds fun actually. I’ve never been to a party.” I pause. “Only one problem, I need to get a job. I’m running out of money to pay rent.”