Tell Me my Forture

by Mary Burchell

  CHAPTER FOUR

  FOR a few moments Leslie said nothing stunned by the terrible accuracy with which Reid had guessed her feelings for Oliver. "No one knows," she gasped at last, catching her breath in her anxiety. "Except Mother. And even she doesn't know quite how how important he was to me." "All right. I shan't tell anyone, if that's what you mean." He looked rather moodily away from her into the darkness. "So Caroline is engaged," he said slowly, as though he were forcing the words into his own consciousness. And then she realized that what she had said must have been a blow for him. "I'm dreadfully sorry! I was so surprised that I didn't think what I was saying didn't prepare you for what I was going to say. I'm afraid it-was a shock." "Well, I guess what I said was something of a shock for you too," he returned, with a slight grimace. "Not so much as what Oliver said," she murmured. And then she was surprised and dismayed afresh to find that she seemed unable to keep herself from saying just what came into her mind. "Please forget that," she added urgently. "Honey," he said, and he put his arm round her with .an unsentimental good-humour impossible to resent,"you and I know a little too much about each other now for either of us to risk telling tales. I'll forget whatever you please about your Oliver if you'll undertake not to remember too much of what I've said about Caroline." "One doesn't actually forget these things, of course," she said with a sigh. "But I promise not to speak about them, and you've already done the same." 50 "Fine." He smiled down at her. "Are you feeling a little better for having someone else in the same boat?" "Oh! That wouldn't be either kind or logical," Leslie declared, avoiding a direct answer, because she was a trifle ashamed to realize that her heart had felt curiously lighter ever since he had told her that he had once been engaged to Caroline Frenton. "What is he like, Leslie?" "Oliver?" She looked up, startled. "Why, he's dark and good-looking and clever." '"The kind most girls would fall for, in fact." She smiled faintly,but with a sort of obstinate courage. "I can only say that I fell for him. But then I'd known him most of my life." "Poor kid! I hadn't realized that." She frowned, because she didn't think that, even in this new mood of shared confidences, she could bear the pity of a stranger, when her own mother's compassion had hurt. "Why did you ask about him?" she said curiously. "I was wondering whether the whole thing could be a temporary infatuation. Something I could get Caroline over." "Do you mean try to take her away from Oliver?" She was shocked and showed it. But he laughed without contrition. "She was mine first," he reminded her. "But that's over now." He looked at her humorously and said, "Here, whose side are you on?" "Neither! At least 1 mean " And then she was silent, because she was realizing, with the clearness given to a scene revealed by a flash of lightning, just what it would mean to her. if Reid carried out his threat, and carried it out successfully. "But Caroline is happily engaged to Oliver now," she protested, with a tenth of the conviction she had shown before. "How do you know she is?" "He told me so! It's his happiness too," she cried, 51 with remorseful fervour, remembering how bemused and enraptured Oliver had looked as he talked of his engagement. "You mustn't interfere now, Reid, between two people who love each other." "Or think they do," he retorted. "Suppose I tell you that she loved me and that I still love her." He smiled, but in a curiously obstinate way that tightened the line of his jaw and made his eyes seem light and brilliant. "I'm sure she did once and that you still love her. Just as I I love Oliver," she said with an effort. "But we're outside the present framework, Reid. We're just the unlucky ones. We must accept the fact resign ourselves to " "My sweet, I never resigned myself to anything in my life," he broke in dryly. "I am not resigned to the present situation." "But you can't do 'things like that. There are some decencies that one observes!" "Good lord! he isn't married to her yet," Reid retorted carelessly. "I'm not setting out to snaffle another man's wife." "But they are engaged. It's the first step towards their marriage." "People can retrace first steps.""Reid, I can t understand your talking like this. I haven't known you long, it's true, but I could have sworn you were not this sort of man." "What sort?" he wanted to know with genuinely amused curiosity. "Why, the sort who would try to upset someone else's love story, of course. You've lost. Can't you be a better loser than this?" He frowned thoughtfully and, since she had moved from him a little in her indignation and earnestness, he .took his arm away from her. "Look, Leslie," he said at last, and his tone was as earnest now as hers. "The circumstances of our parting weren't exactly simple, or above-board. I found out recently that someone told her lies about me it doesn't matter now who or why. It was because she-thought 52 something quite wrong about me that she manufactured a quarrel and broke the engagement. As soon as I heard the real story, I came after her it coincided very well with my coming to see your people too, incidentally to find if I could mend things. And, in the circumstances, I'm damned if I'm going to stand aside for a day-old engagement to someone else. Someone you might well comfort if he lost out, I might add." "No! Don't add that! Leave me out of your calculations," Leslie cried agitatedly, because the leap of her heart frightened her. "Oh, I don't know what to say. If what you say it true, it it's terribly hard on you, of course. But then there is Oliver and his happiness." "Which is genuinely the most important thing to you in all this?" he said curiously. "Of course." He smiled dryly and said, "Oliver seems to have all , the luck." "He won't, if you take Caroline away from him," she retorted a little sullenly. He smiled at her. "Don't you feel capable of consoling him?" "Oh, Reid please!". She put her hands over her face. "God, I wish I knew what was right. If it's really rather rather a sudden business between Caroline and Oliver, and if she truly loved you, it makes a difference, of course. And I could make Oliver happy I know I could if only she were not there." "You see?" He took hold of her hands and gently drew them down from her face, so that she had to look at him. "And I know that I could make her happy, if only your Oliver were not there. It's one of those rare occasions when the values and the personalities have got themselves hopelessly mixed. Don't you think we owe it to ourselves, and possibly to them too, to unmix things?" "I_don't know. It sounds so plausible, of course. But its very plausibility makes me suspect it." "Darling, you do make heavy weather of your own happiness, don't you?" he said amusedly. 53, "And you take things much too lightly," she cried accusingly. "You stand there calling me 'darling' and 'my sweet' and things like that, while you're supposed to be dying of love for another girl. It doesn't sound very " "Oh, no! Not dying of love," he assured her. "Very, very much alive and determined to fight for it. And as for calling you 'darling' I think you are a darling, and I see no reason why I shouldn't put the thought into words occasionally." She laughed vexedly, defeated by his unshakable good-humour. "You have an answer for everything like Satan," she declared. "I hope you think the likeness ends there." "I don't know." Leslie looked at him reflectively. "I've always thought Satan sounded attractive and full of vitality." He laughed a good deal at that, and said it was no wonder he called her "darling" when she said such charming things. Whereupon Leslie suddenly realized just what she had said, and frowned and coloured a little. '"Well, let's leave this soul-searching for tonight," he suggested. "Tomorrow you may see things more as I ____5; "Or vice versa," she countered quickly. He shook his head. "No, my dear. I have my mind made up about this. But it's too late for us to pursue the discussion further. I'm sure you have a lot of courage and staying power, but today must have been a whale of a day for you, and if you're not feeling exhausted by now, you ought to be." , , When he said that, Leslie became aware that she was indeed dead tired, in an excited, agitated way, and that, try as she would to look at the new problem in a fair and objective way, she simply could not do so. He was right. In all fairness they must break off the discussion now. "You'd better go on ahead," she told him. "I know where the light-switches are." But he smiled and said that if he were going to live there, the sooner he found out these things, the better. So she went on ahead. And as he put out the lights, and came up the stairs behind her, she had the odd feeling that, in little or big things,
one would very easily get into the habit of leaving responsibilities to Reid Carthay. In the rather dim light of the upstairs landing, she looked at him with a flash of mischievous humour in her eyes and, because the rest of the household were probably asleep by now, it was in a whisper that she said to him, "Do you do things for people because you're kind, or because you're arrogant?" " 'Bossy' was the word you meant," he returned, also in a whisper. "And the answer is neither. I do things only when I like people. Good night, my sweet." And he patted her cheek rather sharply and left her. Leslie went into her own room, shut the door and leant against it. For almost a minute she made no at-tempt to put on the light. Only gazed almost absently round the palely moonlit room, while her mind drifted idly from point to point of her conversation with Reid Carthay. Next day, when she was in the kitchen garden gathering peas, she saw Reid coming towards her with an air of purpose which suggested a deliberate seeking of her society, rather than any chance encounter. She went on rather deliberately with her task, but she experienced a little flutter of excited anticipation not, she assured herself, because of anything in Reid's personality, but because one instinctively expected things to happen when he was around. "Leslie " He gathered a handful of pods and tossed them into her basket as a sort of token contribution. "There's something I want to ask you. I take it that Oliver is more or less a friend of the family?" "Oh, yes. Certainly." 55 "So that it would be quite in keeping with the general situation if you were to ring him up and suggested he brought his fiancee over. here to meet the others?" There was a moment's pause. Then she said, "It would be quite a likely proceeding, yes. But why should I? Do you think it would serve any useful purpose?""It would give the protagonists a chance to meet each other." "Oh, Reid!" "Well, we've got to meet sometime, you know. Don't you want to see what your rival what Caroline is like?" She winced. "Not much. I'm a little afraid to see her." "Hell! Why?" He evidently simply could not accept the idea of fearing to measure oneself against an adversary."Oh, Reid, I wish I had half your confidence," Leslie exclaimed, without actually answering his query. "Nonsense. You're sweet as you are," he told her. "But take a grip on your courage and arrange for Oliver to bring her over here. It's probably your best and most painless way of meeting her, you know." She knew reluctantly that he was right. "Very well. But when?" "The first moment possible, of course!" "This evening?" "This evening would be fine." "All right. I'll go and do it now." And she set down her basket and ran into the house, before her courage and resolution could fail her. It was Oliver himself who answered her call, and he was obviously pleased at the idea of bringing Caroline to meet his old friends. "She's staying here overnight," he explained. "I'll bring her to your place after dinner. Thanks, Leslie. It's a splendid idea. You think of everything." She forbore to say that someone else had thought of this. Merely remarked, "That's all right, Oliver," in what she grimly hoped was a sisterly tone, and replaced the receiver. As she did so, Moriey wheeled himself out into the hall. He must have heard her last few words, because he said, "That was Oliver, was it?" "Yes." "He's engaged, Mother tells me." ; "Yes. He is bringing her bringing Caroline over g this evening, to meet us." ;, "Does he have to do that?" growled Moriey. "Oh, Morleyl We're his oldest friends. I suggested he should bring her over." t "You did?" Moriey looked at his sister, and his thin, i- rather haggard face softened. "No one can say you I don't take your fences well, Leslie." r ' She wondered if she should say that Reid had urged I her to take this particular fence. But it would involve I too much explaining of what was best left alone, and g would lead into the very debatable subject of her own I exact motives in asking Oliver and his new fiancee to ECranley Magna. She contented herself with patting Morley's shoulder, smiling and saying, "I'm not the most courageous member of this family. But I hope I'm not a bad loser." . He looked at her with anxious curiosity, S- "Was it a bad shock, Leslie?" "Say rather a nasty jar," she retorted almost lightly. I And she went back into the garden, marvelling to herself H-that she could conceal her inmost feelings from her I; brother, and yet reveal them to a comparative stranger. "It's settled," she told Reid in a matter-of-fact voice. II "And don't pick any more peas, please. We have ll'enough for a siege as it is." He laughed. "Sorry. I thought I'd better finish your job while Hyou busied yourself about my affairs." H She looked at him reflectively. "Would you say that telephone call was a question your affairs or mine?" K-S"7 SJP.' -) He grinned."It's all in the way you look at it, I guess. What do you say?""I don't know. I wish I did," Leslie said, and took her peas away into the kitchen.Outwardly she might appear extremely calm and matter-of-fact, but inwardly she felt frightened and agitated. Not only was there the direct ordeal of meeting Oliver's fiancee, and somehow making herself calmly accept the display of affection which he would presumably show for another girl, there was also the dreadful -uncertainty in her own mind of what 'she meant to do. Did she intend to stand by and watch Reid try to take Caroline away from Oliver? Or, rather since there was nothing, it seemed, that she could do to influence Reid one way or the other did she intend to keep a close watch on the situation and profit by it if she could? Mentally she rejected the word "profit" as sounding too unscrupulous, and substituted the word "benefit." But she still felt uneasily that she was adopting the role of schemer, rather than good loserOnly, if Caroline did turn to her first love, what sense would there be in Leslie not trying to console Oliver? "It's all in the way one looks at it," she assured herself, unconsciously using Reid's own words. "Suppose I had been a good friend of Reid's and had never seen Oliver, I should feel quite differently. If I knew Reid had lost his girl through no fault of ,his own, I should be only too eager for him to win her back. And even if, in the intervening months, she had got herself en-tangled with someone else, I should still hope that Reid would regain her. I should be sorry for the other man, but I don't think I should rate his claim as high as Reid's." It sounded wonderful, put that way. If only she had had no stake in the game herself! "Am I being quite objective?" she asked herself 58 anxiously. "And if I am, and if I really think Reid has ? the better claim to Caroline, am I prepared even to help him get her back?" , But it was useless to pretend that she was still being ;; objective when she reached that point in her reflections. : "I'm not being honest now!" she told herself ruth: lessly. "But I have agreed to set the stage as Reid , wants it this evening. Was that quite honest?" Her common sense argued then that she had done nothing but arrange a perfectly harmless and ordinary ' family gathering. But her conscience would not let her entirely alone, and by the time the evening came she was sure that her conduct had not been entirely dis-f interested. ' "It's funny we've never seen this Caroline Frenton before," remarked Alma. "You'd think Oliver would ; want to marry someone he knew, not a stranger." "He probably feels he knows this girl now," Moriey pointed- out patiently. "Oh, now yes," Alma agreed. "But I mean you'd expect him to have married someone he'd known for ages, like Leslie or Kate." "Much obliged." Katherine said. "I'm fond of Oliver, in a general, family way, but his Caroline may have him, for me." Leslie smiled faintly, and even a little indulgently. But by no effort of will could she bring hersef to second Katherine's sentiments. "Oliver is our best friend, you know," Alma was busily explaining to Reid. "He lived quite near, and we've always known him. He's going to be a doctor, but he's living in Pencaster now, and I suppose that's where he met this Caroline." "She is not, as you might suppose from my young sister's remarks, a camp-follower," Moriey added. "She is apparently the niece of a perfectly reputable doctor in our nearest town." "What did you say her name was?" Reid asked, so casually that Leslie could hardly suppress a smile of admiration. 59 "Caroline Frenton." "Oh, then I know her already." "You doV Ahna registered inordinate astonishment. "But what an extraordinary thing! DQ you hear that, everyone? Reid knows this girl Oliver's going to marry." There was a chorus of mild surprise, in which Leslie contrived to join convincingly. And Katherine added curiously, "What is she like?" "Dark, desirable, graceful, and with lots of oomph," replied Reid, with unexpected comprehensivene
ss. There was a funny little silence, while they all registered this curiously vivid portrait of Caroline Frenton. Then Moriey said reflectively, "She doesn't sound Oliver's cup of tea, somehow." "She may not be," Reid remarked amiably. "But he's going to marry her," Alma protested in a shocked tone. And Leslie found herself saying severely, "He sounded devoted to her when he told me about her." But Reid merely smiled lazily and said, "Maybe, maybe." And before Ahna could voice any of the half-dozen questions which were obviously trembling on her lips, there were sounds of arrival in the hall, and a moment later Oliver came into the room in company with a girl whom they all recognized immediately under Reid's description of "dark, desirable, graceful and with lots of oomph." In the first flurry of introductions, Leslie found, to her. unutterable relief, that she was able to display complete self-control and a nice, impersonal pleasantness. But after a few moments, she found that her desire to sink into the background had been gratified beyond anything she had intended. In some curious way, she was overwhelmed by the personality of Caroline Frenton, and she had the peculiar, and most unwelcome, impression that her own colouring faded to something neutral and subdued beside the vivid drama of the other girl's looks. 60 Caroline was one of those people who naturally, and without either insistence or conceit, took the centre of the stage. No wonder Oliver had fallen for her! No wonder Reid hoped to win her back! Leslie, in a fascinated, helpless way, found herself irresistibly assuming the identity of the sisterly, rather uninteresting friend who wished Oliver well without being of any particular importance in the scheme of things. She struggled against it. In that moment, she would have been gay and fast and a little outrageous, if she had known how to be. But Caroline held everyone's attention. And not until she fetched up before Reid, with a startled exclamation, did the spell of her enchanting invulnerability seem, momentarily, broken. "Why, Reid Where did you spring from?" "France, darling. On a visit to my charming relations." Immediately there was an outburst of explanations, in which Alma firmly took a leading part. Caroline contented herself with giving Reid a slow, pulse-disturbing smile, while she said to Oliver, "He is one of my old flames, darling. But there's no need to call for pistols for two." "I don't intend to." Oliver gave her an answering smile, which Katherine afterwards described as "besotted," and then turned on Reid an absent, indulgent glance of compassion which said as plainly as words that he was sorry for the poor fellow who was a backnumber, but had no intention of losing any sleep over him. Oliver was talking energetically to Moriey. But Caroline, who seemed able, in spite of her slightly lazy manner, to keep track of most that was going on around her, smilingly terminated her conversation with her host and drifted over to a seat nearer Leslie. "Oliver has told me so much about you," she said, in a perfectly friendly tone. "I feel I know you better than the others, somehow." "She's the easiest one to know. Aren't you, my sweet?" Reid said. And Leslie knew from his tone that 61 he was looking down at her with an air which must be bordering on affectionate. "Well, I wouldn't know about that." Leslie's voice was beautifully controlled, but her pulses leapt excitedly, for into the other girl's lazy, smiling eyes had come an entirely different expression. She was looking above Leslie's head at Reid now, and there was deliberate challenge in her face. "And how do you spend your time, in this rural retreat?" she asked him, in an easy, mocking tone employed only between people who know each other very, very well. "In the pleasantest way possible. Getting to know my cousins better," Reid assured her. "Especially this one." And to Leslie's amazement, amusement and a little bit to her indignation too she felt him drop a light, but unmistakable kiss on the top of her head. For the life of her, she could not keep herself from glancing at the other girl, to see the effect on her, and she was a good deal startled to see Caroline's fine nostrils flare with some sudden emotion, and the line of her white teeth show for an instant on her lower lip. Faintly embarrassed, Leslie looked quickly away again, and as she did so she encountered Oliver's astonished and angry gaze. She gave a slight, audible gasp as, with a sort of breathless, icy exhilaration, she recognized something of the feelings which had prompted that expression. For the first time for days, Oliver-had emerged from his happy bewilderment. And the shock which had accomplished that miracle was the disagreeable discovery that someone else apparently considered he had a right to be affectionately possessive towards a girl he had taken happily for granted all his life. 62