Tell Me my Forture

by Mary Burchell

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE COOL reasonableness of the tone in which Caroline uttered'her objection to their engagement shook Leslie. It seemed to imply that she was about to produce some overriding argument which would reduce to absurdity the very idea of such an engagement real or fictitious. -"' But if Leslie's sense of security crumbled, Reid's showed itself cheerfully impervious to this form of attack. On the contrary, it was he who reduced Caroline's objection to absurdity by saying, "My dear, incredulous Caroline, it is not only possible, but an accomplished fact. There is no known cause or just impediment, you know," and for a moment his eyes glittered dangerously. "Why should you think an engagement between Leslie and me so impossible?" She was shaken in her turn. "It's so sudden such short notice." She was still standing by the table, having brushed aside Reid's invitation to join them, and her glance drifted puzzledly over Leslie, as though seeking to find in her some explanation of the inexplicable. Leslie withstood the glance admirably, and said quite gently," feel as though it's very sudden and almost unbelievable too. But that doesn't make it any less less wonderful." She thought for a moment that she had overplayed her part. The breathless way she had said "wonderful," for instance, sounded almost touching, even to her own ears. But Reid seemed well satisfied. "You see, my dear," he said pleasantly to Caroline. "I think you are answered." It was not in Caroline to be completely routed. She remained for a minute or two, offering cool con89 gratulations now, and asking perfunctory questions, such as when were they going to be married? "Soon," declared Reid, before Leslie could commit herself. "Leslie has had too much worry lately. I want to give her a little happiness and gaiety." "In Paris?" Caroline's glance slid over him with a degree of significance which Leslie curiously resented. "We might spend part of our honeymoon in Paris," Reid agreed. "What do you say?" And he smiled an indulgent query at Leslie. "That would be lovely. I've never been to Paris." "You'll enjoy showing Paris to someone who's never seen it, won't you?" Caroline said. Then she apparently saw an acquaintance the other side of the room, and she nodded carelessly to Reid and Leslie and moved away. For almost a minute after she had gone there was silence between them. Then Reid said softly and amusedly, "The value of shock tactics." "Do you think they worked?" "At least we arrested her attention." "Oh, certainly." Reid glanced at her sharply. "Weren't you satisfied with our degree of success?" "I don't know " Leslie moved uneasily. "You know her better than I do. But I thought it was more a question of of pique, than horrified realization of a mistake on her own part." He frowned impatiently. "One doesn't expect to reverse the whole position at one blow." "No, of course not. Only " "Yes?" "Oh, sometimes it seems to me that we just plunge deeper and deeper into a very doubtful situation, without achieving much of what we hope to do." He grinned, however, at that. "You're not a natural gambler, darling," he said, 90 patting her hand as it lay on the table. "I know what shook you. The talk of a Paris honeymoon, wasn't it?" She flushed and laughed reluctantly. "No not really. Except that it seemed to make everything alarmingly real and detailed all at once. But it's all right. I was just being silly, I expect." Then she glanced at him curiously and said, "You both know Paris very well, don't you?" "As far as two people in love ever know a place which is simply a background to their happiness." She gave him a smile of warm sympathy and exclaimed impulsively, "Oh, I hope you get her, if you really want her so much!" "Definitely withdrawn your backing from Oliver, eh?" he asked teasingly. "Oh Oliver " She had forgotten about him for the last half-hour. "I wasn't backing Oliver anyway, as you most vulgarly put it. Surely I've done enough to show I don't want him to marry Caroline!" "Yes, yes. I was really thinking of how eagerly you canvassed dear Oliver's happiness, as being the most important thing in all this." "I still think his happiness most important," she countered a little resentfully. "Fine," he said rather dryly. And then they rose to go. She thought how amazing his self-control was, that he even managed to leave the place without so much as a backward glance at where Caroline was sitting. If it had been Oliver who was sitting there, could she have done as much? She thought not. At home once more, she received the fresh congratulations and comments of her family on her beautiful engagement ring, and contrived to look happy and carefree, even when Alma put her own thoughts into words with a reflective, "It seems to make it much more real, when you wear a ring." Leslie turned away quickly and said, "Did you tell Moriey, Mother?" 91 "Oh, yes, dear. He said he thought he'd seen something like that coming." She laughed incredulously and with a good deal of relief. "He said that? In what tone exactly?" "How do you mean?" "Well, was he pleased, dissatisfied, sceptical, shocked what?" Her mother laughed in her turn. "I couldn't say, my dear. You'll have to find that out yourself." "Can I go and see him now?" "No. I think I'd leave him to rest, if I were you. He was a good deal exhausted by the examination and is probably sleeping now." "Of course." "But if you want to do something, I wish you'd pop over to Dr. Bendick's surgery, Leslie, and gethis medicine." "Why, yes. I'll go at- once." Not at all displeased to escape on her own and have a respite from playing her rather exacting role, Leslie slipped on a coat and went out by the side gate. It was a pleasant walk to the Bendicks' house, and if she only knocked at the surgery entrance she could probably escape seeing either the doctor or his wife, and avoid any further comment or question. Oliver, she was sure, would have returned to his job ' by now. But in this she had miscalculated. Leslie had only just received the medicine at the hands of the surgery assistant and turned away to take the path home through the woods, when Oliver's voice hailed her, urgently even a little peremptorily and he came quickly along the garden path to overtake her. "Hello. I thought you'd gone back." "No. I've some extra time. But what's this extraordinary story Father's got hold of?" "About Moriey?" "No. About you." He fell into step beside her, with 92 IIISI a purposeful air which said that he was accompanying her until he had found out all he wanted to. She felt her heart flutter dangerously and her breath come a little unevenly, but she managed to say quite calmly, "Oh, you mean my engagement. I know it's very sudden, but it's quite true. I'm engaged to Reid." "But you can't be! I never heard of such nonsense. You've not known the fellow a week. And, anyway, he's simply not your sort." "Oliver dear, are you so sure you know what 'my sort' is?" "Of course I do. I've known you all your life, haven't I?" "And never guessed the most important thing about me," thought Leslie, with faintly bitter amusement. Aloud she said, "I don't know that that helps much. I was just .a bit surprised that Caroline appealed. to you quite so powerfully. I don't think even the best of friends are very good at guessing things about each other when it comes to falling in love." "But, Leslie " He was evidently deeply disturbed, and she thought how much she loved him for it. "I don't think you even know this Reid well enough to have made up your mind properly. You're usually so well-balanced, so so sane and unhurried. This whole business isn't a bit like you." She laughed without much effort, because it made her feel light-hearted, and just a little light-headed too, to have Oliver worrying about her in this way. "But, Oliver, you can't expect anyone to be wellbalanced and sane over falling in love. It's a contradiction in terms, surely?" He looked at her gloomily and said, "You really are in love with him, then?" "Why, of course. You don't think I would would marry for any other reason, do you?" "Yes. That was the very thing I was afraid of," he assured her with some grimness. "I thought you were marrying him because he'd inherited all your great93 aunt's money, and you didn't see how the hell the family was going to manage if you didn't do something "I suppose it's bound to look a bit like that," she conceded, with a judicial air which she privately thought rather good. "But that isn't what decided me, Oliver. Really and truly it isn't.""You're asking me to believe that you ve fallen so hopelessly and romantically in love with this comparative stranger that, in the course of a couple ot days, you're quite sure you want to spend the rest ot your life with him? Leslie, do think again. I m sure you're making the most dreadful mistake. "What you mean is that you don't like him, Leslieretorted, and because she did li
ke Reid, the faint hostility in her -voice was genuine."I can't stand him," agreed Oliver with great heartiness "I think he's self-confident to a degree, and cynical and arrogant too. And I think you re being silly and wilfully blind, just because he's good-looking and rich and excessively male." "Oliver!" _ -., .There was an astonished silence. Then he said, in a slightly shamed tone,"I'm sorry I called you silly.""Oh, it's not that." She brushed the mild insult aside. "Do you really see Reid like that?" she asked curiously."More or less." "You're quite wrong, you know. Suddenly shefound herself most anxious to justify Reid to Oliver. "He isn't a bit like that." "Not self-confident?" he queried dryly. "Well " She laughed."Or arrogant, or cynical? My dear Leslie, use your excellent judgment!" . "It's a very good-natured cynicism, Oliver. 1 ratnei like it""You rather like it? Good God, girl," exclaimed Oliver, who had never addressed her like that in her 94 life before, "do you realize-you're talking about the qualities of the man you say you love? One doesn't 'rather like' things about the person one proposes to marry." "Do you more than rather like the way Caroline looks-at other men?" she asked suddenly, and then was astonished that she could speak so coolly and ironically to Oliver. "Caroline doesn't enter into this," he said stiffly, after another astonished little silence. "Oh, yes, she does! Believe me, I'm quite as much surprised at your choice as you are at mine," exclaimed Leslie, suddenly feeling some wise precaution in her collapse, so that she had a horrid feeling that she was going to say things for which she would be sorry, while being powerless to stop herself. "If anyone had told me beforehand that Caroline was the . ' kind of girl to attract you, I'd have said 'Nonsense' in my turn. But it's your own business. I'm not trying to dissuade you from marrying her, am I? I've given you my congratulations and decided to mind my own business. Even if you decide afterwards that you made a mistake and don't want her after all, I'm not going to say 'I could have told you.' It's for you " "I should hope not, indeed!" He was nearly as indignant as she by now. "And what on earth should give you the idea that I might change my mind about Caroline? I never heard of anything so ridiculous, and I very much resent it." Aloud she said, making a great effort to speak calmly, "I'm sorry, Oliver. It wasn't very tasteful of me to use your own circumstances to reinforce my argument. But we're both being rather -angry and illbalanced about this. Don't you think we ought to agree not to interfere with each other?" "Leslie " He took her arm, and he too had lost his anger now. "I don't mean to interfere, my dear. But you mean a great deal to me you're like my own family " 95 "I know. Like a sister," she said, and somehow she kept the irony out of her voice that time. "Well something like that. I can't help knowing that neither of your parents would give you much good advice over this. Your father will see only the material advantages, particularly to himself, and your mother, bless her, will be swayed this way and that by her sentiment and her desire to think the best of everything. Morley's in no condition to take a hand. I can't let you do this thing without protesting. There was a time when you'd have conceded my right to do so. I seem to have lost touch with you, Leslie, and I don't know whether I am to blame myself or not." "You're not to blame in any way," she assured him quickly. "And I don't really mind your talking to me, Oliver dear. Only I can't have you speaking against Reid. You must see I can't." He was silent for a moment. Then he said in a more reasonable tone, "Well, you won't rush into a hasty marriage, will you?" She thought of what Reid had said to Caroline that "very afternoon. "We haven't made any definite decision yet." That much she had to concede him. "But no one has a very long engagement nowadays. I don't expect you mean to yourself, do you?" He looked faintly restive once more at being sidetracked on to his own affairs. "We haven't decided either," he said rather curtly. "Well, then, couldn't we both agree to leave our affairs in a pleasant state of uncertainty for the moment?" They had reached the side gate of Cramey Magna by now and she turned, smiling, to face him. "Are you coming in?" "Not tonight. I expect you're right about leaving our affairs uncertain for the moment. At any rate, your affairs." "Oh, no, Oliver!" She laughed. "I didn't mean it 96 in that sense. What I meant was that neither of us seems likely to rush into an irrevocable decision in the next twenty-four hours, so let's agree not to question each other closely." She held out her hand in a friendly way, but with an air of decision. He took her hand a little doubtfully, as though he still hardly knew what to make of her in this new mood. "No hard feelings about my interference?" he said, with a wry smile. "None at all, Oliver. I'm a good deal touched that you should care enough about me to feel so anxious." "Good lord, Leslie! You know how much I well, anyway, I wouldn't have any unhappiness come to any one of you girls if I could prevent it." "I know you wouldn't." Her tone was still friendly, but a shade colder that time. And she withdrew her hand with a definite "Good night." But as she turned away he detained her a moment longer. "Leslie " "Yes?" She turned back, a little surprised. "What did you mean, exactly, when you spoke of the the way Caroline looks at other men?" She experienced a disagreeable little shock. Perhaps at being pinned down to her own unwise wording. Perhaps, at the discovery that his final thoughts ran, after all, on Caroline. "I nothing very much. I spoke hastily." "But you must have been thinking of something definite when you said that." He looked obstinate and, she thought, vaguely disturbed. "I'm sorry. I suppose it was a rather catty remark. It would be nicer and just as true to say that she has very beautiful eyes and knows how to use them to -advantage. I didn't want to imply any more than that." He smiled, not entirely satisfied, she saw. Then he said, 1890 97 "She can't help attracting people, of course." And, with a friendly wave of his hand, he left her. As she crossed the lawn, Reid came out of one of the french windows to meet her. "Was that Oliver who escorted you home?" "It was." He glanced at her, evidently speculating on the reason for her curtness. "Had he anything to say about your engagement?" "Good gracious, yes! A lecture under three headings. His anxiety, my foolishness and your undesirability." Reid laughed and began to look as though he were enjoying himself. "Do tell me what he said about me?" "No. Your ego is quite sufficiently developed as it is." "Don't tell me he praised me?" "Of course not. But to a man of your type, some censure is better than praise." "That's true," he agreed equably. "I won't question you about the particular, then. I'll just ask, in general term's, did he react as you hoped he would?" "Oh, Reid " She pushed back her hair with sudden weariness. "I don't know. Sometimes I ask myself what I'm really trying to do. If it weren't too late to turn back, I'd say it's wrong and ridiculous to interfere so arrogantly with the natural course of events." "There is no natural course of events, my sweet,". he told her, smiling, but rather kindly. "There are those who direct events and those who submit to them. You are in the habit of submitting, and it worries you to find yourself moving the pieces on the board, instead of being moved around. But you're tired " He put his arm round her lightly and, somehow, rather comfortingly. "Don't torment yourself with any more selfanalysis. Be satisfied if your Oliver showed signs of being concerned about your welfare and anxious about your future. Stop planning, and let events take their 98 course during the next few days. We have done all the interfering that's necessary for the moment.'' "Thank heaven for that," Leslie retorted grimly. But he laughed, and lightly kissed the side of her cheek. And for no reason that she could possibly define, she felt her spirits rise once more. During the next few days, to her immeasurable relief, it really did seem that events might be permitted to take their own course. Reid and she had established the idea of their engagement, not only in the minds of the family, but also with Caroline and Oliver. It remained now to be seen what gradual reaction this would provoke. Twice Caroline telephoned, and each time she unashamedly asked for Reid. He didn't offer to give Leslie his version of the conversations. But she heard snatches of the first one, and again she had the impression of two people who knew each other remarkably well sparring gaily and feeling out each other's defences. One afternoon Leslie had the opportunity of a long, quiet talk with her brother. He had kept to his own' room since the specialist's
visit and now "was only waiting for a vacancy in Sir James Trevant's nursing home. Leslie found him in a curiously tranquil, indulgent sort of mood, luxuriating in freedom from the secret anxiety about his health which, she realized now, must have weighed terribly on his spirits in recent months. "You feel every confidence in Sir James, don't you, Moriey?" she said to him, noticing with delight the brightness of his eyes and the hopeful lift to the corners of his mouth. "Yes. I have no doubt at all that he can make me better. And if I believed that any man could make me walk again, I should believe it of Trevant." "Do you mean," Leslie said almost fearfully, "that you think there might be a chance of his doing that?" "I don't know." Moriey idly curled the tassel of 99 his dressing-gown round his hand. "I only know that he thinks there's a chance." "Did he say so?""No. But he has the most expressive face I've ever seen. And I know he thinks there's a faint chance. So faint that he couldn't possibly mention it to me. But that's one reason why he's so anxious to have me in his nursing-home, under his own eye." "Moriey! I I hardly dare even think of such a thing.""Nor I. But the thought of it made the taking of Reid's money more justified, somehow." "Oh, Moriey, you don't have to think of that! Reid told me, with all sincerity, that he would give every penny of Great-Aunt Tabitha's money if it would make you well." 'Because he's in love with you?" 'Oh, n Well, yes. I suppose so." 'And you took him on those terms?" 'No, Moriey. That isn't true." 'Are you telling me that you love him?" She hesitated only a second before she said, "Certainly." "Swear it?" He was smiling at her, but his eyes were bright and exceedingly watchful. She passed the tip of her tongue over her lips. "I swear that I'm not marrying Reid for his money." Moriey gave her a long, thoughtful look. "You changed that wording, didn't you?" he said musingly. "I wonder why. You wouldn't swear that you love him." "Please, Moriey, don't go imagining things. Believe me, I had agreed to become engaged to Reid before I knew about your needing this expensive treatment." "Because of the family?" "No. Because of myself." He laughed, not altogether satisfied, she saw. But he was too happy and hopeful about his own prospects to question her more closely. Besides, Moriey being Moriey, he would undoubtedly concede that she 100 SSiSHi had a right to reticence about her own affairs. Having satisfied himself that no specific sacrifice had been made on his behalf, he obviously considered that anything further was, broadly speaking, her own business. To Leslie's delight and relief, when the summons finally came for Moriey to go to the nursing-home, she was the one who was chosen to accompany him and see him safely installed. Reid offered to accompany them too. But Moriey was not enthusiastic and, since Dr. Bendick insisted on being of the party, Reid's presence was not really necessary. For two or three days, Leslie stayed on in London, although Dr. Bendick, having seen his patient safely installed, returned to Cranleymere the same day. She rather enjoyed the curiously detached existence of one stranger among many other strangers in a quiet hotel,. and it was wonderful not to have to pretend about herself to anyone. Each day she went to see Moriey, so that in those first difficult days he should not feel bereft of everything and everyone familiar. But towards the end of the week he said to her, "If you want to get back to the family and Reid you don't need to hang about here any longer on my behalf, you know." "I'm rather enjoying it, as a matter of fact." Leslie smiled. "You are? Curious point of view for a newly engaged girl," Moriey remarked, with his characteristically quizzical glance. "Well " She coloured a little. "I meant, really, that anyone can enjoy herself in London for a few days, and I don't want to go until you feel perfectly settled here." "I am perfectly settled, my dear. And though I enjoy seeing you every afternoon, that can hardly go on indefinitely and may as well stop now as any other time. Besides" he smiled .with that touch of real sweetness which could sometimes irradiate his thin, sardonic young face "I owe Reid enough. It's not exactly fair to keep you away from him too." 101 "Oh " She looked faintly surprised, because she never could quite get used to the idea that Reid was supposed to be consumed with passion for her. "I dare say Well, perhaps you're right, Moriey." "I think I probably am," he agreed. And they arranged then that Leslie should return within the next two days, though probably she, or another of the family, would visit him again in a few weeks' time. As she made her preparations for returning home, Leslie found her thoughts running on ahead of her. To everyone expecting a letter some news an event, it always seems that a short absence from home works some sort of miracle. Because one has not been there to watch every post and every change of event, it seems that limitless opportunities must have occurred for the thing one hoped or dreaded to have happened. As the train drew slowly and reluctantly into the station, she caught a glimpse of Reid's car standing outside. Well it had been rather fantastic to imagine that Oliver might somehow be there. Reid was perhaps the one best suited to give her the news. And as she came out of the station and he got out of the car to open the door for her, she greeted him with a brilliant smile. "Everything satisfactory so far as Moriey is concerned, I see," he observed. And she laughed and agreed that this was so. While they drove down the slope from the station and along the first half-mile of the road home, she gave him further details about her brother, and the one or two items of personal news about her stay in London. But when they turned into the long, familiar, winding lane which eventually led to Cranley Magna, he slowed the car and, as though sensing that something was coming, she said, "You didn't write to me, Reid." "No. Did you expect me to?" "Only if there were something special to tell me." 102 "There was nothing special to tell you, during the first five days." She was indescribably chilled and disappointed. "You mean nothing at all happened?" "Nothing." "No news of either Oliver or Caroline?" "Not until yesterday." "And then there was some news?" "Yes."' "Of which of them?" "Of both." "Well, then, tell me," she cried, half frightened suddenly by his manner, though she hardly knew why. "What happened?" "They were married, Leslie, by special licence, yesterday morning." 103