Tell Me my Forture

by Mary Burchell

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  LESLIE moved at last, because she realized that she was getting cold, but still she walked up and down some of the paths most distant from the house and tried to decide what she was going to do. In the end, it was Reid who settled the questionfor her. He came out into the garden, having evidently seen her from one of the windows, and waved his hand and called to her. "Hello! What brought you here?" She came towards him until she was within easy speaking range. And then, because he seemed so unabashed, she knew she could not speak of what she had seen. She would be so ashamed for him. "I just looked in to get some flowers for Madame Blanchard. I meant to bring some home this afternoon. Have you been here long?""Yes. Most of the evening. I thought I'd like to have a look through those papers you mentioned." Well, perhaps that was true! "Did you find anything interesting?" "No what I was looking for.""Were you looking for something special, then?" "Not really." He was suddenly evasive. "I thought there might be something It doesn't matter. Have you been here long?"There was nothing suspicious or anxious about his tone."No," she said coolly."Well, I'm ready to go home now, if you are." "Yes, I'm ready," she said. And they left the place together.As they approached Oliver and Caroline's place, Leslie saw that the discussed car was standing outside in the road, and both of them were hanging over it, presumably in ecstatic admiration. "Hello," they all said, more or less together. And 164 Reid and Caroline, she noticed, showed no signs of having seen each other before during that evening. "Come and look at the latest addition to our family," Caroline invited them. And they too examined the finer points of the middle-aged car, and agreed that it was certainly capable of conveying one to the sea and back. "Why don't we make a day of it tomorrow?" Caroline looked up, flushed a little from having -been bent over the bonnet examining the car's interior. "The four of us, I mean. You don't have to shut yourself up in that stuffy lawyer's office every day, Reid, do you?" "No. I don't have to." "But it's as well to get things finished," Leslie cut in quickly. "It's much better to seize on any good weather one can," countered Caroline promptly. "After all, you two are on your honeymoon too. It's going to be a wonderful day tomorrow. Look at that sky! Let's make a beach party, take our food and go down for the' day." "Sounds all right to me," said Oliver. "To me too," Reid agreed. They waited for Leslie's added agreement, as a foregone conclusion. There was no objection she could raise no argument she could oppose to this generally accepted idea of a party of pleasure. She made a virtue of necessity, smiled and said it was a wonderful idea. And everyone looked very well satisfied. It was a matter of minutes to arrange the details. Oliver and Caroline undertook to call for the other two about ten the next morning, and each couple promised to bring a sufficient supply of food and drink. "And swim-suits," Caroline added. "Down here the water will still be beautifully warm, and they say it's a wonderful shore." "Not an entirely safe one, though," Reid said. 165 "There are some tricky under-currents. But we'll keep an eye on you girls.""I like that! I'm a better swimmer than you are," boasted Caroline. "Well, don't show off," her husband said, patting her dark head. "It isn't nice before company." "Don't worry! I'll make her eat her words tomorrow," Reid declared gaily. And then he and Leslie went on their way.She was very silent on the way home, and if Reid found that disturbing, she told herself, she could not help it. If she had started to say anything beyond the merest conventional remarks, she would have found herself breaking into angry, frightened protests about the expedition on the morrow."And I must not have another of those outbursts," she told herself. "I must not. I should find myself upbraiding him for his meeting with Caroline tonight. I must be calm, and pleasant and unknowing. Oh, how I wish tomorrow were over!" But tomorrow, like every other day since the world began, had to be lived through somehow, hour by hour. She woke to a sense of indescribable foreboding, which the brightness of the day did nothing to dispel. And she thought, if it took so much effort to be reasonably bright at breakfast, what ,was it going to be like to pretend and pretend and pretend all day? "I can't do it!" Leslie thought at one point. And then, as though to give her a little strength and happiness to help her carry the burden of the day, the long-awaited miracle, which she had almost forgotten in her personal misery, actually happened. Madame Blanchard came in carrying a telegram, and set it down before Leslie with an air of suppressed drama very suitable to the occasion. "For me?" Leslie looked rather startled, and tore the envelope open.The next moment she was crying aloud, 166 "Reid! Reid, come and look at this!" And Reid, coming in from the next room, leant over her chair to read the message which trembled in her hand. "Triumphant greetings," the telegram ran. "I salute you both standing. Love and more thanks than I can say. Moriey." "Oh, Moriey! Darling, darling Moriey!" She began to cry excitedly something of her pent-up feelings of the last few days going into those tears. And when Reid took her into his arms and stroked her hair, she clung to him, just as though he had never made secret assignations with Caroline or kissed her. "There, honey, there!" He laughed very tenderly and kissed her. "There's nothing to cry about. It's wonderful news." "That's why I'm crying," she sobbed, half laughing too. "Just because it is so wonderful and unbelievable." "Well, I guess that's as good a reason as any for a few tears," Reid conceded with a laugh. And then, still holding Leslie, he turned to explain to Madame Blanchard, who had stood in the doorway during all this scene, divided between delight and dismay, and very much inclined to contribute a few tears herself. Their landlady added her warm and most heartfelt congratulations, and advised them to waste no time in going off to celebrate the glad news with a day's pleasure. As Caroline and Oliver arrived more or less at this moment, this seemed admirable advice. And, in the end, Leslie started off on the expedition with happier feelings and higher spirits than she would ever have thought possible an hour ago. Oliver drove, of course, with Caroline sitting beside him, and contributing a little lazy advice from time to time. The other two sat behind and, because it seemed natural in their mood of shared excitement 167 and relief, he held her hand rather tightly part of the time. Once Caroline threw an amused, indulgent glance at them, and after that Leslie gently drew her hand away. But she had a warm little feeling at her heart because Reid's impulse had been to share her happiness, and what Caroline might think about it she really did not care. Oliver was unfeignedly delighted at the news about Moriey, and Caroline showed a pleasant degree of sympathy, considering that she knew so little of the background of the struggle which had preceded this triumphant achievement."I suppose you had been worrying a lot about your .brother, although you didn't say much," she said to Leslie. "Well, from time to time I did worry," Leslie admitted, remembering guiltily that sometimes, in the worry of her own affairs, she had momentarily almost forgotten Morley's. "Not that there was any likelihood of his being worse, you know. It was just that I knew what tremendously high hopes he had set on this experiment of Trevant's. It would have been so fearful for him if it had all been a failure." "And you had been expecting the result almost any day?""I Yes, I knew it must be soon." "I thought you seemed very depressed last night," Caroline said. "I suppose that was the trouble." "No," Leslie replied levelly. "It was something else last night." She felt Reid turn and glance at her. But Oliver said at that moment, "Does anyone know this road? I think we went wrong about half a mile back." The usual discussion followed, everyone holding a different opinion. And by the time they had discovered that they were on, the right road, after all, Leslie guessed that no one would remember her remark. 168 She was wrong, however. Reid bent his head down to hers and said in an undertone,"Was something wrong last night? What was the trouble?""Nothing I can talk about just now, Reid. Don't ask me now." "All right. WiU you tell me later?" "Maybe."She was not quite sure what had induced her to saythat. Only, after the news about Moriey, she hadgathered a sort of inner courage. And, on the strength of that, she felt that perhaps it would be better to have the whole thing out with Reid. Quietly, of course,and without too much emotion. But so that at least everything was truthful and dignified betwee
n them.The coast at this point was a beautiful one. Wild and rather rocky, but with a splendid stretch of goldensand when the tide was out, and it was not difficult to find the ideal place for a day-long picnic.After they had taken all the things they needed out of the car, Oliver drove it a quarter of a mile intothe tiny nearby village to park it safely, so that theyneed not worry about it while they swam or lounged on the shore all day.It was a superb day, as Caroline had predicted, and as they were all more than reasonably good swimmers they spent a good deal of time in the water,only coming out to enjoy their excellent lunch.Afterwards they lay on the sand, tossing an occasional remark to each other, but growing a little sleepy, if the truth be told.Leslie, in fact, was just beginning to see the wholescene as a dim mist of blue and green and gold, whenthey were aroused by an urgent shout from a short, stout French official, who was climbing over the rockswith a purposeful air towards them."He can't be warning us off, surely? Isn't the seashore public property?" said Caroline, sitting up and rubbing her eyes."He's saying something about a car," replied Reid, 169 whose French was, naturally, a good deal more serviceable than that of the others. Indeed, when the Frenchman, panting a little, had come right up to them, it was Reid who conducted the conversation from their side. Oliver, however, evidently caught enough to follow the general line,because at one point he shouted, "What's that he says? Our car's been stolen?""No." Reid shook his head. "He says you stole it." "Good lord! I like that. I've got the receipt for thedamned thing. At least, I suppose I have." He reached for his coat and began going throughhis pockets with some urgency. "I don't think a receipt's going to help you much."Reid was attending still to the flow of talk from the purposeful official, but managed to slip in a wordor two of explanation to the others from time to time."He seems quite sure that it was stolen property the thief didn't even bother to change the numberplates and if his story's true, you've been sold someone else's pup, old boy.""But, look here " Oliver had, to his own surprise, actually produced the receipt by now "this means something, for the lord's sake! Tell him to geton to the fellow in Laintenon who sold me the thing.""I think," Reid said, getting to his feet, "that youand I had better put a few clothes on and go alongwith this chap to the garage where the car is. Wedon't want the police collaring our only means of returning home.""Need we both go?""Well, you're the owner, and perhaps I can do theexplaining better." "Yes, that's true. Will you girls be all right?"Oliver glanced at Caroline and Leslie."Yes, of course." They spoke simultaneously, andLeslie added, "We'll stay and look after everythinghere. You go along." The two men threw on their coats and prepared to accompany the Frenchman. 170 "We shan't be long," Oliver promised optimistically. But Reid, who had more experience of French small-town officialdom, said, "Back tonight, I hope."Leslie looked after them for a few minutes, and then dropped back on the sand.She felt she did not want a long afternoon alone with Caroline, that the strain of making agreeable conversation would be more than she could stand, and, for a while at least, she was going to pretend to be' sleepy.Caroline fished a book out of their varied luggage, and seemed quite prepared to follow her own devices. Possibly, of course, she was no more anxious than Leslie for this prolonged tete-a-tete. )Overhead sea birds wheeled and called, and there was the ceaseless murmur of waves breaking on the shore. Otherwise there was silence and, after a while, Leslie's pretence at sleep gradually merged into the real thing.When she woke up some time later, she was, to her surprise, alone. But, raising herself on her elbow and looking round, she saw that Caroline was swimming about leisurely quite close inshore. Seeing Leslie sit up, she waved a hand and called, "Come on in. It's wonderful now." Certainly the sea looked inviting, with the afternoon sun sparkling on the water. And unbuttoning the skirt of her beachdress, to reveal her slim-green suit, Leslie ran down to the water's edge and waded out into the cream-edged, curling waves. She swam near enough to Caroline to address a sociable word to her from time to time, but not near enough to feel that she was definitely in her company. Presently she turned on her back and floated lazily, and revelled in the sensation of sun and sea. "Race me to the tip of the promontory over there?" suggested Caroline amiably, swimming up alongside of her. "It's just about far enough for a warm afternoon." 171 Leslie didn't really want to bestir herself to that extent. But somehow a challenge from Caroline even a challenge of this sort was not to be refused. Besides she was pretty sure she was the stronger swimmer. "Right," she agreed, abandoning her pleasantly in, dolent floating. And a moment later they were travelling, neck and neck, towards the rather distant promontory."It's farther than she thought," reflected Leslie. And something sensible and reasonable in her warned her to suggest that they abandoned the attempt. But Caroline was looking very fresh and going strongly. She was not, Leslie thought, in a mood to abandon any sort of competitive effort at this moment. It was a perfectly friendly piece of rivalry, of course, proposed in genuine good-nature on Caroline's part. But, as the test lengthened and began to make real demands upon her, Leslie felt grimly that, in this as in the much more important matter, she and Caroline were real adversaries. She must win. There was something symbolical .about it. To fail would be to suffer a quite disproportionate loss of self-confidence. The failure in itself would not matter. It would be the fact that she had lost to Caroline which would rankle unbearably. The distance really was much greater than she had imagined. And glancing over her shoulder at Caroline, who was a short length behind her, Leslie thought that she too had been disagreeably surprised by the amount of effort required to cover the distance. Well, it was much too late to turn back now. They would have to go on, and allow themselves a considerable rest on that promontory before they attempted the journey back. At the thought of having to cover this distance all over again, Leslie experienced a most unpleasant sinking of the heart. But she firmly reassured herself. They would feel better after a rest. And, anyway, the thing 172 H to concentrate upon at the moment was the journey H out there. f.. As though in response to her common-sense deterje,mmation, the difficulties seemed to ease slightly. She - was travelling with less effort, and the rocky bulk of t the promontory loomed very near now. With very little f-difficulty, she increased her speed, and shot ahead to I, victory in the last two minutes. i:. As she hauled herself out of the water, dripping f "and trembling rather with exertion, Caroline came up , only a yard or two behind her. She too seemed to have ! found the last stretch less trying. i But she looked none the less anxious for that. I "You certainly made that in good time," she said, ' as she pulled herself up on to the rock beside Leslie. i "But. I don't like the implication of that last easy bit." "You mean there was a strong under-current run ning with us?" "Yes. And it will be against us going back." Leslie turned her head suddenly and looked full at Caroline. "I know. I'm thinking we're a couple of fools too. But we're strong swimmers, both of us. After a rest " "We can't afford a long rest," Caroline cut in shortly. "Look at that." She pointed to the stretch of water they had so recently covered. Leslie stared at it for a long moment. At first, she thought it was her imagination which seemed to make it wider. Then she realized, with an uncomfortable thump of her heart, that there was no imagination about it. The tide was rising rapidly, and the distance between them and a safe shore was increasing every minute. "At any rate the tide will be with us," she said steadily. "Yes. But what about the pull of this darned underswell?" Caroline retorted. "We're in a nasty spot, Leslie. And I think, although we're tired, the soonerwe try to get out of it, the better." 173 Leslie did not answer for a moment. She knew . what Caroline was saying was horribly true. It was just a question of balancing between the length of time it would take to regain their strength, and the length of time it would take for the incoming tide to broaden that stretch of water beyond their fullest capacity. "I think we'd better go," she agreed quietly. And at that moment, to her inexpressible thankfulness, there appeared on the distant terribly distant shore where they had spent the morning, a figure.Only one figure. But, even at that distance, she knew it was Reid. If they were to get into
insuperable difficulties, he would be able to help them. No one of them. He was waving now, having evidently seen theirbright, distinctive caps as they still clung to the rock, and his urgent gestures undoubtedly meant, "Hurry!Hurry!" They probably, thought Leslie, with a wry gleamof humour as she struck out into the water again, meant, "Hurry, you unmitigated little idiots! Are youcrazy, ever to have got yourselves into such a place?"And then she didn't think any more humorous thoughts. Or, to tell the truth, of anything else at allbut the terrible, overriding necessity of pitting her strength and skill against the remorseless "pull" ofthe water. They kept close together this time, a little perhaps to encourage each other, but they wasted no effort onwords. Mentally, Leslie was counting to herself, very muchas she had when she first learned swimming, because a rhythmical count seemed to help. But, beyond that,she tried not to think at all, because she had to concentrate, she told herself. She had to concentrate. Once she raised herself slightly in the water and took a look at the distant shore. But she was so discouraged to find how comparatively little distance 174 they had covered with such terrible effort that she decided not to look again. Then she realized that her glimpse of the shore had shown it to be empty, and she knew, with a hopeful beat of her over-taxed heart, that Reid was on his way to help one of them. Glancing to one side, she saw that Caroline too was still going strongly, but the effort was evidently telling on her equally. She was in- quite as pressing need of help as Leslie herself. In spite of her desire to concentrate on nothing but her swimming, Leslie's tired and harassed mind presented her suddenly with a completely clear picture. There they were, the two of them, still struggling but with the odds most powerfully against them. Without assistance, it was doubtful if either of them would ever reach the shore and safety. Yet Reid could not hope to take on more than one of them. "It's as simple as that," she thought, a great sob rising in her throat. "He can rescue only one of us, The one who matters more to him. And that is Caroline." At that moment, Leslie very nearly gave up the straggle. But because the sheer will to live is probably the most powerful impulse in any human being, somehow she drove her exhausted body on through the water. But she was going much more slowly now, and the effort seemed superhuman. Once a wave went over her head. She came up again, gasping and shuddering, and very, very frightened. And for the first time- in all her life she really looked death in the face, and thought, "It could really happen. If I get too tired to go on any more, it's over. I'll never see Mother's face again, nor lie in Reid's arms, nor feel the sun and the wind. The world will go on, but I shan't be there." If only she could have been sure that she was safely on the incoming tide, she would have dared to float for a few minutes and rest. But she knew that, 175 if she were not clear of that treacherous outgoing current, she might in a few moments lose half the distance she had gained, and she could never find the strength to recover it now."I can't go on," she gasped once.But no one heard her. And she went on. Endlessly, as it seemed. All her life she must have been doing this. There had never been a time when she had not been struggling, in this fearful, heavy mechanical way.She did not think of Caroline any more, nor even of Reid. She just went on and on and on and on. 176