Hard To Handle (Teach Me Book 2)

by RC Boldt

  “Riiiight. Yeah, no. Never.” She could feel her blood pressure rise just thinking about it.

  Mac clasped his hands together. “Okay, well, if you have the hang up about saying it, maybe you should practice. In the mirror or just by yourself or something?”

  “Did you do that?” The expression on Mac’s face at hearing Raine’s question was priceless. With the three of them leaning in to hear his response, he suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable.

  “Well, uh, kind of?” Mac’s answer came out as more of a question than a statement, and Laney met Tate’s eyes, seeing her friend stifling a smile. Clearing his throat, he continued, “Look, Laney, I’m just going to lay it out for you. It’s fucking scary as hell to put it all on the line because it feels like you’re stripping yourself bare. You’re completely vulnerable. And, yeah, once you tell the other person how you feel, it’s all in their hands.

  “But by having the courage to put yourself out there, to tell the person who has your heart how you feel regardless of how it turns out, you’ll be able to look in the mirror and say, ‘I did it.’ And most of all, you’ll be able to say it with pride; pride in yourself that you didn’t let your fear stop you from experiencing love and loving someone else.” Mac’s stormy blue eyes were fixed on her, his powerful words washing over her. He finished in a hushed tone with a quirk of his lips, “It’s almost like a rebirth of sorts.”

  “After all that, I think I just fell in love with you a little,” Tate remarked, a bit dazed.

  Laney held Mac’s gaze, nodding slowly. “Basically, I need to do this, not just to let Zach know my feelings but for myself, as well. To grow as a person.”

  “Exactly.” Mac gave her a hopeful smile. “And, just so you know, the guys and I are totally betting on you.”

  She gave him a small smile in return. “Thanks, Mac. I appreciate it. Thanks for all this,” she stated, gesturing between them to encompass their conversation.

  He winked and gave her his trademark grin, that dimple flashing. “No problem, kiddo.” Then he looked over to Raine to say teasingly, “Can I head back over to the guys now, slave driver?”

  “You may.”

  Mac rose from the chair and bowed melodramatically. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  Raine rolled her eyes with a giggle as he gave her a quick kiss. He swatted her on the ass, eliciting a tiny squeal from her before he headed down the hallway to the front door.

  “Mac,” she called after him sternly.

  “Love you,” he replied as they heard him putting his boots back on.

  Raine’s lips pressed together, trying to restrain a smile before finally giving in. “Love you, too.”

  They could hear the sound of the door opening before Mac called out, “Love you more.” The door closed swiftly behind him.

  She and Tate watched Raine as she let out a frustrated sound. “That man does that every time! One upper,” she grumbled, tossing herself into the chair Mac had left vacant.

  “He’s a pretty great guy, that one,” Tate remarked quietly with a smile. “You deserve him, one upper and all.”

  Raine’s smile grew wider, pure happiness lighting up her features. “Yeah, he is pretty great.”

  As Laney watched her friend bask in the pure joy of having the one person who makes your world complete, who loves you unconditionally, she found herself thinking of Zach. And she realized that she would readily echo Raine’s words because she thought he was pretty great, too.

  She couldn’t help but wonder if he would, or could, ever say the same about her.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  WHY DID I LET HIMSELF get roped into this? Lawson and Mac had come over and convinced him that he needed to join everyone for karaoke night at Shenanigans. His last one for a while, most likely. The only selling point was that tonight was the night they finally opened up the outdoor section that had recently been added on to the karaoke bar. When he had first protested, Lawson held up a hand to stop him.

  “Look, man. You can’t just cut yourself off from the group. That’s not cool. Plus, Mac and I already talked and we’re not going to let anything go down. We’ll be your buffer.” He turned to Mac for affirmation. “Right, man?”

  Mac nodded. “Roger that.”

  Zach groaned. “We sound like a bunch of chicks, right now.”

  Mac tipped his head to the side in thought. “Yep, pretty much.”

  Lawson shoved him—or attempted to—but ended up staring at Mac in disbelief. “Seriously, man? What are you made of?”

  Mac merely grinned, patting a hand against his chest. “I’m built Navy strong, dude.”

  Lawson shook his head before turning to Zach. “What he means is, yeah, we sound like chicks. But, right now, if this is the only way you’re going to be convinced to get out of this damn house and come out with us, then we’ve got to do it.” His friend ran a hand over his face wearily. “And I swear to you, Z, you’ve made me channel my inner chick way too often lately.” Pointing a finger at him, he added, “So stop it, already.”

  Mac turned to Lawson in disbelief. “You actually have an inner chick? And you channel her?”

  “Seriously? Who do you think helped you brainstorm getting your woman back after you royally screwed that shit up?”

  The two men stared at Lawson before Mac shook his head, turning his attention to Zach. “I’m just going to ignore little Lawsonette right here and tell you to man up and get your ass back out there. No more of this wallowing shit, dude.”

  “Ooh. Lawsonette. I kinda like that. I don’t think I’ve ever actually named her …” Lawson mused.

  They shot looks of horror at Lawson. He just laughed and held up his hands. “Kidding. Just kidding.”

  “Let’s get going before his inner chick makes another appearance,” Zach told Mac, both of them heading to the door with Lawson trailing behind them.

  “I totally heard that. Just remember that I’m the only one of us who hasn’t gone completely gaga over some woman.”

  Mac called out over his shoulder, as they walked down the stairs to Lawson’s SUV, “Just remember that when your time comes, we’re giving you an extra dose of shit.”

  “I second that,” Zach agreed.

  “Gosh, I sure do love you guys. Such great friends,” Lawson remarked sarcastically.

  “Yeah, yeah. We love you, too, pumpkin,” Mac mumbled, opening the door to the vehicle.

  Getting situated in Lawson’s backseat, fastening his seatbelt, Zach couldn’t help but feel the melancholy wash over him. He realized that he was going to miss this—this camaraderie, the shit-talking, the support, the friendship. The friends who would show up because they knew that, without even a call or text from him, he needed them. Moving an hour away from this was going to suck.

  The closer he got to the end of the school year, the more conflicted he felt about his decision. But, along with that was also a brewing anger at Laney for being the cause. If it weren’t for her tossing his heart right back in his face, if it weren’t for the fact that he felt gutted just being near her, seeing her, he wouldn’t feel the need to move away and get a fresh start.

  Part of him had begun to resent having to do this whole fresh start business. His heart, however, told him it was necessary.

  And, right now, his heart was in charge of things.

  * * *

  “Okay, soooo … I thought we should give you a heads up,” Raine spoke slowly, tentatively. “Zach’s going to be there tonight.”

  Laney paused, in the midst of dusting bronzer over her cheeks. Managing to compose herself, she cleared her throat quickly. “Okay. Got it.”

  Tate looked on from the doorway of the bathroom where Laney was standing, finishing up her makeup, Raine sitting on the edge of the tub.

  “We’re not going to leave your side, though. Promise,” Raine told her, the crease between her brows evident.

  Laney forced a small laugh. “I’m going to be fine.”

  “Are you … going to try
and talk to him tonight?” Tate asked.

  Laney tilted her head to the side in thought. “I don’t think that would be the right time or place. Do you?”

  “No,” both Raine and Tate replied in unison, so vehemently that Laney’s head jerked back.

  “Whoa. Geez, you guys.” She eyed them. “Got it. No talking to him tonight.” Closing up her makeup bag, she washed her hands and dried them before smoothing down her dress, turning to the side in the mirror.

  “Do you think—” she started, but was cut off by her friends’ immediate, unison response.

  “No, it doesn’t make your butt look big.”

  Laney wrinkled her nose. She must really be predictable. But she couldn’t help it. If everyone had an ass like hers, they’d be concerned, too.

  “If I had an ass like this, I’d have myself a handsome man.” Tate smacked Laney’s ass playfully.

  “Oh, maybe we can borrow Raine’s blindfolds. You know, the one that says, ‘Are you my bad girl?’” She and Tate cackled. She had gotten Raine the gag gift a while back after Raine had a hilariously awful experience with a guy she had been dating.

  “Very funny.” Raine gave them a deadpanned expression.

  Tate tried to smother her giggles but failed. “Oh, come on. You can laugh about it. Especially because you’ve got your big, bad Navy SEAL, now.”

  Raine’s lips twitched a second before she gave into a wide grin, pointing to them. “You two are terrible, you know that?”

  Tate slung an arm over her shoulder. “Admit it. You wouldn’t trade us in for the world.”

  Laney walked over to put her arm over Raine’s other shoulder, reaching to pat Tate’s back affectionately. “I know I sure wouldn’t trade either of you for the world,” she told them.

  As they stood there for a moment, Laney was reminded again how extremely fortunate she was to have these ladies in her life.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  HE HAD TO GIVE THEM credit, the guys were literally staying by his side. Zach had to go so far as to tell them he was okay to head to the restroom by himself, they were taking it to such extremes. It wasn’t like he thought Laney was going to try and corner him after he was exiting the restroom or anything.

  Boy, was he wrong. Once he had exited, he stopped short, causing the guy behind him to collide into his back. “Hey, man! Some notice next time,” the guy grumbled. Zach absently apologized, so shocked to see Laney there obviously waiting for him. Obvious because the women’s restrooms were clear on the other side of the bar—in the quieter, martini bar—while their karaoke bar was through the far door. He moved to the side to avoid any future collisions, bracing himself for whatever she might to say to him.

  He gave a curt nod. “Laney.”

  Those eyes of hers, now appearing like warm honey, were watching him cautiously. “Zach.”

  “You need something?” He knew his tone was short but he didn’t want to do this. He couldn’t do this with her.

  She cleared her throat nervously. “I just wanted to say hi. I just … miss talking to you, that’s all.”

  He found himself grinding his teeth, sliding his hands into the pockets of his khakis, and looking down to his feet, at his leather flip flops. “Laney, don’t do this.”

  “What? We can’t talk to each other? Ever?” she asked, confusion lining her voice.

  His eyes fell closed briefly as he inhaled a deep, calming breath before answering her. “Laney, you wonder why I don’t … can’t talk to you anymore? It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because everything I want to say,” he broke off when his voice cracked before continuing, “everything I want to say, I can’t tell you anymore.

  “It sucks being around you, knowing I can’t have you and that you’ll never want me the way I want you. So you’ve got to get over this whole ‘Zach’s not talking to me’ thing. I can’t do it, Laney. It’s why I’m moving to Neptune Beach, it’s why I’m changing schools. Because I need to move on from you.”

  His eyes were pleading when he spoke. “Please just let it go. Let me get over you.” He watched her as she visibly swallowed hard before nodding, her beautiful eyes glistening. With a brief nod, he walked past her, heading to the door to rejoin their friends.

  The entire time, he felt like he was walking away from a chapter in his life, a person whose memory would forever be etched in his mind. And his heart.

  Before he could allow the maudlin thoughts to get too carried away, he saw Mac and Lawson come through the doors like gangbusters, skidding to a stop when they saw him. Their eyes darted behind him to where he was certain Laney was still standing a few feet away before returning their concerned gazes to him as he neared.

  “Sorry, man. We totally just realized she was missing at the same time you were in the restroom,” Lawson flashed him an apologetic look. “You good?”

  “Yeah, man. I’m good.”

  Mac’s eyes were on Laney again as if he were trying to send her a message with a mere look. Finally, Zach watched as Mac gave a short shake of his head as if he were telling her to leave him alone. If circumstances had been different, he would feel pretty lame to have his buddies basically warding off a woman for him. However, right now, he was never more grateful.

  “Ready to sing? I’ve signed us up for some good ones, dude,” Lawson told him, wiggling his eyebrows in excitement.

  He gave his friend a slap on the back. “I’m beyond ready.”

  Those words actually rung true in more ways than one. He was beyond ready to move on.

  * * *

  Zach couldn’t believe that Lawson had signed them up to sing Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen”. He knew they were getting more laughs than anything, especially with Lawson’s on-stage antics. His friend’s excitement and upbeat attitude was infectious and he was grateful for it.

  Mac had followed in having Zach join him to sing Drake’s “Hotline Bling” and it was laughable since neither of them were actually familiar with the song. Toward the end, both of them were having a difficult time composing themselves and restraining their own laughter enough to finish.

  Shortly after they returned to the table for a breather, Mac went back up on stage to sing with Raine. They chose to sing Meghan Trainor and John Legend’s “Like I’m Gonna Lose You”. If it were at any other time, Zach would find it gagworthy that the two of them were singing this song together, as anyone could see how much they loved one another. Now, though, it was like pouring salt on an open wound. Especially since he was having trouble avoiding looking across the table to where Laney was sitting.

  This, this was what he was trying to get away from. The pull that made him seek her out whenever he knew she was nearby. Made him want to look in her eyes, to see if maybe she felt the same hurt he did by what had happened.

  Shaking it off, Zach concentrated on watching his friends sing, not really performing it for an audience but singing it to one another, their gazes locked, emotion pouring from them. He was startled by an arm slinging over his shoulders. Turning, he saw Lawson lean in, his expression intent. “They’re singing our song, love.” He began to sway, forcing Zach to follow suit as he shook his head with a low chuckle. He knew Lawson probably figured out he was needing a distraction right now. And, just like that, without words, he had helped.

  Even though his friends were crazy—hell, sometimes they seriously drove him crazy—he was going to miss the everloving shit out of them once he moved.

  Damn you, Laney Kavanaugh, he thought, with a mixture of anger, misery, and annoyance. Damn you for screwing with my heart.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  WAKING FROM THE FITFUL SLEEP she’d had after coming home from their karaoke festivities the night before, Laney stretched out with a groan as she looked at the time on her clock. It was nearly six thirty on Sunday morning.

  Her friends had made it a point to get her onstage and sing silly songs with them. Raine had dragged her up to sing Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA”, much to her own dism
ay. But Raine’s excitement was always infectious and, within a few notes, she and her best friend were throwing themselves into their performance. Tate joined them for “Wannabe” by The Spice Girls, which they had a difficult time getting through without giggles. The guys acted like groupies, dancing on the dance floor beneath them. Lawson had been attempting booty shakes intermittently, causing the others to shake their heads while either backing away from him or slapping him on the ass with a laugh. Lawson had twirled Zach once or twice on the dance floor and she was happy that his friends had managed to get him to have that lightheartedness back, even if it were only temporary. She knew it was because of her that he wasn’t truly his normal, happy-go-lucky self.

  Dragging herself out of bed, she stood and stretched her arms above her head, letting out a little groan. Turning to head to the restroom, hoping that a shower might make her feel less mopey, something caught her eye.

  The beautiful water globe Zach had given her for Christmas. Walking over to where it was displayed on her dresser, she eyed it warily. Part of her felt like maybe she should put it away where it wouldn’t be staring her in the face all the time. Another part of her, though, couldn’t bear not having a little reminder of Zach, of how he had obviously thought of her, paid attention to her.

  Reaching out to carefully take the globe in her hand, she brought it close, looking at the gorgeous scene as she gently shook it, causing the blue waves to wash over the dolphin. Just as she was about to tip it once again, her gaze caught on something shiny on the very bottom. Turning it upside down, she saw a small silver plaque. The words engraved on it made her heart lurch in her chest, because this message had been there the entire time. And now it was too late.

  The beauty of the sea for the beauty who has my heart.

  Laney’s eyes fell closed as the pain washed over her—pain at what she hadn’t realized in time, pain at letting her past ruin her future, or what could have been her future. Suddenly, Tate’s words from last night came back to her.