Sweet Nothings

by Daria Doshrelli

  “It’s too bad your Roselle doesn’t like to eat.” She drew in a slow breath through flared nostrils that appeared to be taking in the various aromas. “I shall have to try this recipe of yours myself. What do you call it?”

  “Breakfast.”

  “I mean the eggs, the way you do them.”

  “Breakfast eggs.”

  “Hmf. It needs a better name than that.”

  Tad pulled the biscuits from the oven and waved away the heat that rushed toward his face. “Do you always name everything?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Well, I don’t name things I intend to consume, especially animals. Otherwise, it can be very difficult to chew them up and swallow them down.”

  Claire’s lower lip poked out. Tad began to set out the spread before she could give him an earful about whatever it was he had said that offended her. As he worked, his eyes lingered on the second chair at his little dining table. This was the first time he had ever had company enough to fill it.

  “Please be seated wherever you like,” he said as a gentleman should with a polite gesture toward the table.

  Claire rose from her cushioned throne and chose as her new seat the chair Tad normally sat in himself so that he was forced to occupy Roselle’s chair, as he always thought of it since the day he had found his true love.

  As the host, he picked up his fork and knife and began to slice his biscuit, his attention occasionally straying to Claire to see if she would follow his good manners as a proper guest should or if she would simply slather her own biscuit in egg or butter and oink it down.

  Her fingers were less dainty than those of a real lady as she prepared her feast in the oddest way possible, halving her biscuit by pulling it apart instead of cutting it, and sniffing and eyeballing each of the jams, honeys and butters he had set out instead of just tasting them, already. Even so, the mad scientist across from him did not lift the fruit of her labors to her lips, but kept fidgeting with the frilly, white tablecloth. If she kept it up, the thing would have her butter and jam fingerprints all over it.

  “What’s bothering you this morning? You seemed so eager when I answered the door.” He broken off a piece of bacon, placed it just so on his biscuit and sank his teeth into it.

  Claire put down her own biscuit, a slathered with raspberry jam, a third with sweet cream butter, the rest in a combination of both. “I confess I didn’t come just to bring your basket. I had a dream last night and I couldn’t sleep after that.”

  “The thought of going to the Aeorus giving you nightmares?” He observed her anxious eyes. They were the color of the sea at twilight or the sky at daybreak. He couldn’t decide which. Not that he cared.

  “Not so much. I don’t believe in following dreams, but maybe Lady Love’s magic has something to do with this particular one. Who can be sure?”

  “How very illogical of you.” Tad stiffened his upper lip to suppress the grin that tried to manifest. “But this case is very complicated. A pirate captain, his pirate sister, his crew, a prince, a princess, an evil fairy godmother…far too many characters roaming about that we have to keep an eye on.” And it was much too early to contemplate any of it. “I still don’t understand what has happened, but once we get a look for ourselves things will become clear. Your dream is probably the result of confusion.”

  “It’s just…” She fidgeted with the tablecloth again. “…the prince’s letter. He said he scuttled the ship, the fair Olivia. I didn’t pay much attention to that at first, but I now have a theory.”

  Tad put down his forkful of egg. So much for pleasantries. “Let’s hear it, then.”

  “I think the Olivia is his own ship and not one belonging to any of the pirates.”

  “Why would he destroy it?”

  “To keep anyone from seeing it.”

  “For what purpose?”

  Claire’s eyes were filled with some sentiment unlike her usual scientific self. “His letter said not to go looking for the princess. That indicates the prince doesn’t want his whereabouts and the princess’s to become known so no one will come to rescue them, and no more victims can be had.”

  “But then how will he leave the island himself?”

  “Precisely the question I have pondering. I think he is planning for both of them to never leave. That is very brave of him, sacrificing himself, and probably he could not sail a large ship all alone, anyhow, but I also suspect he has a bigger plan.” She frowned. “His message said all is lost, and by that I think he meant the future of Lumares and the intended alliance between their kingdoms.”

  “Possibly he is simply the dramatic type, like Pip.” Tad sipped his tea. But Claire’s expression held him. “What is the rest of this theory of yours?”

  She quit fidgeting with the tablecloth and met his eye. “I believe he intends to rid the world of the siren. That is, at least in my dream, he was not trying to save Princess Arabella. He was preparing to dispatch her.”

  Chapter 8

  “Change of plans. We have to find Prince Henry.” Tad stood in the Library of Love inspecting each of the faces around him. The birds had returned from their overnight mission looking as if someone had tossed them through a whirlwind. Claire’s eyelids drooped, and for once not from sarcasm. Only Wigamus appeared still among the living, though he had chosen to present himself as a cricket instead of a kitten. “What happened to yesterday’s enthusiasm?”

  “We have been working all night,” Sev said. “You try pushing a ship for hours by flapping your wings at it.”

  “The pirates themselves may be a little seasick,” Nan said.

  Pip said nothing.

  Tad waited for him to squawk out an insult, but he just sat there with his eyes glazed over. “I know you’re all tired but the prince trying to murder the princess is yet another inconvenience we must deal with immediately.”

  “It might have just been a dream.” Claire yawned and rubbed her eyes.

  That’s what too much tasty breakfast did to a person, but Tad’s own mood had improved since the dawn had come and gone. “It’s not good to ignore dreams. Certainly some are useless, but it never hurts to inspect them for truth, especially since I suspect you had that dream because your mind has unraveled something important.” Unfortunately.

  Claire sent him a besieged look. “You and Imogene would get along, despite your irrational fear of her. She says dreams show more than what the eye sees when a person is awake.”

  “What about Avery and his crew?” Nan asked even as her head dipped down along with her eyelids. “They have nearly arrived and will be hunting for the treasure which is spread out along the shoreline around the siren’s lair. If they get anywhere near Princess Arabella, her siren call will doom them all.”

  Tad suppressed a grin at his brood of helpers and their docile expressions. “So, we have one princess turned siren, a prince who went to save her from the pirates she paid to kidnap her, only to find she had turned into a beast and devoured her captors—served them right. Then we have the princess’s true love on his way to her island where we must not allow him to become her next meal. But if we look at this the simple way instead of getting distracted by all of the unimportant details, we just have to keep Princess Arabella from being murdered by the prince long enough to break her curse, and then get her and Captain Avery to fall in love.” The whole thing didn’t sound as impossible as it had before dawn.

  “I never thought I would say this but, you are impossibly optimistic,” Nan replied.

  Tad’s chest puffed out. Yes, he was going to solve this case, no matter the trials. “Get yourselves some sleep. If the pirates are a little banged up due to the storm your efforts created, they will likely be resting as well. Just make sure you’re back to the island before they arrive so you can lead them to the other side, away from the princess and the treasure. By any means necessary. I’ll meet you there and convince them they must hunt down Prince Henry to find the loot, and then we’ll capture him and tie h
im up so he can’t carry out his murder plans. And while you’re all resting, Claire and I will go inspect the princess. This plan of mine is very efficient so I’m sure we’ll have the whole affair resolved by nightfall.”

  “We’ve heard that before,” Pip said.

  “And it’s nearly noon in the Aeorus,” Nan had to add. “Nightfall will be there sooner than you imagine.”

  “I’m sure the entire ordeal will be horrifying whether it is dark or full daylight.” Tad looked at Claire. “Let’s be off to see Princess Arabella and what sort of creature she has become.” With this he magicked himself away.

  He landed on his stomach and face and pushed himself to his palms and knees, spewing sand out of his mouth. The magic in this place must have muddled his own as he distinctly remembered expecting to land on his feet. He stood, brushed his hands together, and lifted his gaze to find two lifeless, hazel eyes staring into his. Below these a regular human nose appeared and just below that a pair of regular human lips.

  The lips stretched and parted. Needle-shaped teeth appeared. Tad’s horror melted into bliss as music filled his ears.

  “O my prince, the fairest of my dreams, at last you have come. In your eyes I have found my destiny, in your lips my sweetest embrace. All of your dreams await you, my love. Come, follow me to our happily ever after.”

  Tad’s feet moved him closer to the love of his life as she sang out this sweet melody. His heart beat wildly. Breath evaded him.

  “Tad. Where are you, you little grump?”

  The words came to his ears as a beacon in the night. Something like scales fell from his eyes and he found himself staring into a tunnel filled with spikes and unable to breathe. He jerked himself back and grabbed at the clawed hands digging into his neck. Claire’s voice reached his ears again.

  “What are you…? Would you look at that, she really is a siren.”

  Tad thrust himself back from the yawning gullet of the princess turned she-beast and fell onto his bottom. The siren slapped her tailfin against the rock she sat on and hurled another song after him. He covered his ears, hummed loudly and scrambled onto his side. He managed to collect his feet under him and ran toward the girl with the enormous blue-green eyes and honey-colored hair staring at the creature behind him. Once at her side he spun around, panting, and slowly lowered his hands to his sides. All was quiet.

  Claire had those silly goggles on again but it wasn’t her eyes Tad was worried about. He muffed her ears with his palms.

  She slapped his hands away and turned her goggle eyes on him. “What are you doing?”

  “Covering your ears, of course, in case she comes after us. Wait. Why didn’t you fall under her spell?”

  “I’m a woman.”

  True, all stories about sirens spoke of them trapping male specimens, but did that mean the female variety was immune to their call? And why had Claire’s inane words broken the spell her song had cast over him?

  A crunching sound had them both jerking their heads back at the place where Tad had nearly been devoured. A she-creature that looked just like Princess Arabella of Lumares walked toward them on human legs, that mouth of hers closed, claws dangling at her sides. Her eyes clouded over and her lips began to part. Claire snatched Tad’s hand and whirled him away.

  Tad’s feet touched down on solid ground, his hand in Claire’s. His hand flopped to his side as she turned loose of it. He looked down at his disengaged appendage that had suddenly been robbed of a tingly warmth.

  “You’re welcome,” she said as she returned the goggles to her pocket.

  He put up his finger to remark that he had not actually required her assistance. A swooshing sound filled his ears. Both of them turned their heads around the trees.

  “Where have you taken us?” Tad’s eyes made a search of his surroundings.

  Claire’s mouth was open as she observed the branches and treetops. “Just inside the woods behind the siren’s lair. I wanted to get a look at—”

  A caw echoed around them.

  “I do believe that was a warning,” Claire said. “Not sure of the species, though.”

  Tad’s frown deepened.

  “Do you hear that?” Claire put on the goggles again and stared into the bushes to Tad’s left.

  The unmistakable sound of twig and leaf crunching underfoot sent Tad’s pulse to pounding in his ears. But his own terror was washed away by some unfamiliar sentiment as Claire stepped toward the bush and whatever lurked within it.

  A figure arose from the bush, one without a face and devoid of features save two branch-like arms that moved toward the scientist and her curious gaze. It moaned out some unintelligible string of sounds.

  Tad did not think at all. He leapt onto the creature’s back and flung his arms around what might have been a neck. “Run!” he managed even as he struggled against the finger-like appendages that grasped his wrists.

  Claire put her hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m saving you from this—”

  The creature ripped his hands away from its bushy neck and hurled him to the ground. Tad grunted as the wind was knocked out of him, but terror propelled him to scramble to his feet.

  “You’re saving me from him?” Claire shook her head at Tad as she pointed to the creature that stood only steps away from her. She pushed the goggles onto her forehead and smiled at the thing with leaves for skin and sticks poking out all over its body. “Allow me to introduce myself, sir. I am Claire and this…” She aimed a finger at Tad. “…is my very unscientific partner, Tad. Lady Love sent us. I assume you are Prince Henry?”

  The bush creature’s hands moved to the sides of its head, where they pulled up until branch and leaf were removed to uncover a face. A smile and a set of pearly teeth appeared. Tad stared at the teeth until he decided they were completely human.

  “Hello,” the creature said in a garbled tongue.

  “You can read lips, Your Majesty?” Claire directed her question at the grotesque figure in front of her with a human head.

  It nodded.

  “Excellent.” Claire clasped her hands together. “We have just come looking for you, and I suspected I would find you near the siren’s lair. You are intending to kill her, are you not?”

  “Why are you dressed up like a bush?” Tad asked.

  Prince Henry appeared not to have heard. He nodded at Claire, but frowned.

  “There is no need for that, sire,” Claire said. “We are here to break Princess Arabella’s curse. Ah, yes, we know very well who the siren is, and Lady Love sent us to help.”

  Tad did not appreciate Claire taking over his job.

  A shrill caw sounded overhead. Claire’s eyes widened. She and Tad ducked as a shadow swooped down upon the trio. A rock the size of a person hurtled toward them. It barely missed Claire and Prince Henry as it smashed into the ground. Tad was just about to dive for the dirt when pair of clawed feet snatched the prince and lifted him toward the trees.

  “Oh, that’s why he was wearing a costume,” Claire said. She twisted up her lips and nodded after the beast that was carrying the prince away.

  “Oh no, you don’t!” This declaration and something shiny went sailing through the air.

  The shriek the winged, red beast produced had Tad and Claire covering their ears. Prince Henry went plummeting to the ground while his twig and leaf disguise remained caught in the beast’s claws. He dropped to his feet and crumpled onto his back.

  “Uh.” Prince Henry lay grunting up at the belly of the beast that had dropped him. He rolled on his side again and again.

  Tad saw with horror that the beast’s flight had faltered. It came crashing to the ground just as the prince cleared its path. A few moments of thrashing and screeching and it lay still. He gawked at the reptilian head all covered in short, horn-like appendages. But it was the eyes that held him, so much like a dragon. They closed and did not reopen.

  “Sink me, what a kill,” a male voice said.

  T
ad whirled around to see a band of pirates standing at the edge of the clearing and staring at the felled creature. The one in the lead, the pirate girl from the docks in Shub-Haramb, strode forward and removed a dagger from the beast’s bloody neck.

  “Thank you, Iakapov. It was a good shot, if I do say so myself.” Nadie wiped her blade on the branches of the bush next to her with a grimace. “It was clear that once again I would have to do all the work.”

  “Some sister you are, saving the life of my mortal enemy,” Captain Avery said, though his eyes were locked on Prince Henry’s. “Of all the people…Henry, how are you?”

  The prince’s eyes narrowed at the pirate. “What are you doing here?” The words came out strangled.

  “I’ve come in search of treasure, of course. And yourself?”

  “So you have not found it yet?” Tad asked. Of course they hadn’t, otherwise the siren would have snatched and devoured them. But it was very inconvenient that the crew had not been rendered too sick to come ashore by the storm the pigeons had stirred up.

  “Ah, so there is treasure.” Avery’s eyes sparkled, but sobered a moment later as he regarded the prince. “I should have known it was you even in that ridiculous getup. No one else could manage to be here on an island in the middle of the Aeorus, right where my long lost treasure is hidden. How do you contrive to always be a thorn in my side, sire?”

  The prince did not answer.

  “You’re welcome, by the way, for us saving your skin.”

  “Taking credit for my accomplishments again?” Nadie said. She pulled her hand through the long, black hair that had come loose from a leather cord.

  “T’was a fine hit,” the short, squat pirate with the beady eyes said. Tad remembered Avery had called him Basset.

  “Aye,” another of the pirates said. “Beautiful.”

  The entire crew cast dopey grins at their female consort as she secured her hair in a tail behind her head. Tad saw with some dismay that the prince was staring at her as well, her eyes, her ruby lips. If he didn’t know better, he would have imagined this Nadie person to be the siren. What other sort of creature could have slayed a monster in front of his eyes all while ensnaring a prince and commanding a brood of uncouth men to fall at her feet?