Love, Honor or Stray: New Day Divas Series Book Three

by E. N. Joy

  Yes, pitifully enough, Paige’s attempt at busy work had resulted in her insisting that she load the popcorn popper in preparation of a fresh batch. The young worker didn’t want to appear as though she couldn’t do her job and needed her manager to go behind her, so she countered Paige by insisting that she load the machine. The two tugged the poor bag back and forth until it split in half and icky, sticky popcorn cornels went flying in the air. They’d given new meaning to making it rain.

  “Uh, yes, Morgan, I’m fine,” Paige said as she looked down at the mess on her hands. “I’m sorry. Perhaps I should let you do your job.” As Paige walked away to go wash her hands, she could feel the eyes of the girl and the other crew members burning a hole in her back with their puzzled glares.

  As she dried her washed hands with a paper towel, she knew that if she was ever going to be productive on the job, she needed to just go ahead and get it over with, talking to Norman. After all, she was probably making more out of the kiss than there really was. Norman most likely hadn’t thought twice about it since.

  “Get yourself together, diva,” Paige pepped herself as she threw away the paper towel and headed for the ticket booth.

  She’d walked in with so much confidence, but now that she was standing there next to Norman trying to speak to him, her words lacked that same confidence.

  “Things are going great,” Norman replied. “A little slow, but you know how Wednesdays are.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Whew. Paige exhaled. Everything was good. Norman seemed to be his regular old self, not the hot mess Paige was. And here she’d been worried and acting crazy for almost two weeks for nothing.

  “Haven’t seen you in a minute. I’ve kissed you—I mean missed you.” Freudian slip.

  Paige had exhaled much too soon. She needed that breath back, because now she couldn’t breathe. The big ol’ fat, pink-with-purple-striped elephant that was stuffed inside the ticket booth with them seemed to be consuming all the air.

  Swallowing hard, Paige replied, “I kissed you too—I mean I missed you too.” She was blowing it big time.

  There was an awkward moment of silence, as neither of them knew what to say next. Well, they knew what to say, but were afraid to say it, as nothing seemed to be coming out of either of their mouths the right way. The mood was saved when an elderly couple approached the ticket window to purchase tickets.

  Thank God for retired senior citizens who can come catch a movie in the middle of the day, Paige thought, relieved at the break the couple provided. As Paige watched the two accept their tickets and walk off hand in hand toward the movie theater, she couldn’t help but smile. She imagined her and Blake growing old together and catching movies in the middle of the day and walking around the mall in the mornings before the stores actually opened. She pictured their days in retirement long lived, but then that’s when the daydream ended. It just didn’t seem like a fantasy that could come true due to the fact that Blake lived and breathed work. Paige felt that retirement was something he would never fathom. Just when he’d close the huge deal he’d been working on, another one would just so happen to come along, and then another, and then another. It was a never-ending cycle.

  Paige was convinced that her husband, simply put, truly loved what he did for a living. It fueled him. Unfortunately for her, though, by the time he made it home and into their bed, his tank would be on empty.

  “Well, I better go. I think they need my help at the concession counter.” Paige let out a nervous chuckle.

  “Thanks again for the other night,” Norman told her. “The dinner.” He wanted to be sure she knew what he meant.

  “Oh, no problem.” Paige shrugged and smiled.

  “And be sure to tell that husband of yours I said thank you as well,” Norman added. “How is the married life anyway?” He was treading.

  “You know, it’s good.” Paige sounded doubtful. “I just wish Blake didn’t work so much. We haven’t really gotten to…you know…enjoy the married life as much as I imagined we would.”

  “Oh, is that so?” Norman was treading again. “Sounds like Blake is a good provider.”

  “Yeah, so I guess it’s not too bad.” Now Paige was comfortable. It was as if the elephant had disappeared and now she was just talking to her friend again, the same friend she used to spend hours chatting it up with back in the day. She didn’t realize until now how much she’d missed that as she sat down in the empty chair next to Norman.

  “But I know it must be hard being newlyweds and not really being able to take advantage of the newness of the relationship”—Norman winked—“and its perks.” He caught himself about to slip into his old ways of talking with Paige, the days before she got saved.

  Paige didn’t even catch that. She was just glad to have a sounding board at the moment. Norman had been her sounding board once upon a time, and she, his. Maybe now that he respected her Christianity they could go back to those days of conversation that made the work days go by fast.

  The saying must be true that time flies when you’re having fun, because before she knew it, an entire hour had passed with her sitting in the ticket booth talking to Norman. Paige felt good. Norman had given her some male insight that she couldn’t get from her conversations with her best friend, although she loved talking with Tamarra and heeded most of her advice. Glad she and Norman were able to put the entire kissing thing to bed and rest, Paige didn’t realize that something else between them was awakening.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tamarra hadn’t even heard the last comment the little girl had declared to her parents inside Family Café. She’d crept out of the restaurant without anyone noticing. She could tell where the whole thing was going with the doll shoe anyway.

  She’d been standing in her living room the past twenty minutes or so, pacing back and forth. Seems like pacing was the only exercise she’d gotten in the last year or so. Her phone had been ringing: Maeyl calling to see where she’d run off to, more than likely, but she wasn’t ready to talk yet.

  “Who am I kidding?” Tamarra asked herself as she slumped down on the couch. She looked up. “Surely not you, God.”

  And she was right. The Word of God said that He knew his children’s hearts. That meant that He knew hers, and she couldn’t fool Him with the façade she was putting on for the folks at New Day and the rest of Malvonia. God wasn’t the only one she couldn’t fool, either.

  The doorbell caused Tamarra to stand to her feet. She slowly walked over to the door, hoping that it wasn’t Maeyl. She’d have some explaining to do, for sure, if it was. Like why she got up and walked out on the middle of his daughter’s birthday party.

  She shrugged her shoulders uncaringly. “Heck, the party was almost over anyway.” She then walked over and opened the door. She wasn’t expecting the person on the other side.

  “Hmm, looks like that child didn’t know what she was talking about. You’re the real Cinderella. What happened? Your Jeep was about to turn back into a pumpkin or something? I could have given you a ride home.” Zelda stood on Tamarra’s doorstep being just as sarcastic as she knew how to be.

  “Come in, Zelda,” was all Tamarra said.

  Zelda stepped inside and Tamarra closed the door behind her. “Nice place you got here,” she complimented after eyeballing what she could see of the place.

  Zelda and Tamarra had never really been friends. Of course, they used to fellowship at New Day together back when Zelda was a member, but that was as far as it went. Like some church folks’ relationships, theirs never left the four walls of the church building.

  “Thank you,” Tamarra replied as the two just stood there in a glass fish bowl of silence. It was only a matter of time before Zelda shattered the glass.

  “So, you thought you’d made a clean getaway, huh? Thought you’d creep up on out of there without anybody missing you?” Zelda shook her head and sat down on Tamarra’s couch without being offered a seat. “Who do you think you’re fooling, girlfriend, and how lon
g do you think you’re going to get away with it? You can’t possibly think that I’m the only one with eyes.”

  “Who am I fooling?” Tamarra repeated the question, sitting down in the chair across from Zelda. “Funny, I was just asking myself that question before you rang my bell.”

  “Well, what was the answer?” Zelda leaned in, waiting on a reply.

  Tamarra felt as though she was on the hot seat as she scrambled through her mind for a reply. She couldn’t come up with one. She became frustrated at the fact that Zelda was even there pressing her. “Zelda, what are you doing here anyway, showing up on people’s doorsteps unannounced?”

  “You’re not answering your phone.”

  “How would you know? You didn’t call. You don’t even have my phone number.” Tamarra was sure she’d never given it to her.

  “Because I knew you wouldn’t. I know your kind. Maeyl’s probably called you about fifty times by now. At least I assumed it was you he was calling as I watched him dial repeatedly on his cell phone, then slam it closed without holding a conversation. And you know he ain’t gon’ drive over here and leave his little girl on her birthday. But see, I ain’t Maeyl,” Zelda reminded her. “I got nothing to lose by coming over here and telling you about yourself. But see, Maeyl is afraid he might lose you.”

  Tamarra lowered her head.

  “Like I said, that man ain’t no fool, and if he’s got eyes, which we know he does, he sees what I see. Only he doesn’t want to say anything, because he knows that if he puts it out there, it will be choosing time.”

  Tamarra just listened.

  “So, you still don’t have anything to say?” Tamarra was still silent. “Humph. Well, let me give you some food for thought. Do you know what that little girl told her parents after you left? She told them that you didn’t want to be her second mother. She told them that God told her that.”

  Tamarra’s eyes bucked.

  “Yep, you heard me right. She stood right there and told them that God told her that you don’t really want to be her stepmother.”

  Tamarra’s eyes watered.

  Zelda knew she’d said enough to penetrate Tamarra’s heart and thoughts. She stood, preparing to leave. “So, I guess now you only have to ask yourself one question.”

  Tamarra remained silent, but her eyes pleaded for Zelda to tell her what the question was.

  Obliging her, Zelda said, “What is God telling you?” On that note, Zelda made her way to the door. Tamarra followed to close it behind her. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the real reason I came by.” Zelda reached down into her huge purse and pulled out something wrapped in foil. “Here. You left your piece of birthday cake. Guess you can have your cake and eat it too.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  StillBallin: Hey, Deb, it’s me, Elton. I know it’s been forever, but you’ve been in my spirit here lately. I ended up taking a chance at googling your name and, Voila! Your literary website popped up. I’m glad you had a contact page with your e-mail address, otherwise I’d have had to hire a private investigator to find you (just joking). Anyway. I’m back in the States for good. So much has changed since I’ve been gone. You know I’ve only been back a couple/three times since I left to play ball almost six years ago. There is one thing that hasn’t changed, though, and that’s the way I feel about you. I really don’t want to get into things by e-mail, so I think I’m just going to reach out to you on the phone number that’s on the contact page. I’ll give you a minute to digest this e-mail first, or even reply back to me. Talk to you soon, Little Debbie.

  How dare he! How dare he send Deborah this blind e-mail! How dare he end it with the pet name he’d so affectionately given her! And how dare he call her up like they were the best of friends…even just plain old friends, for that matter!

  Elton. It had been Elton on the phone. Elton, Deborah’s would-have-been baby’s daddy had she not elected to terminate the pregnancy.

  So many emotions ran through Deborah’s body as she stood up from her computer after reading the e-mail Elton had sent her. Had she continued reading her e-mails after the one Lynox had sent her, she would have found Elton’s right underneath it. Maybe then his phone call wouldn’t have been so devastating. Okay, it still would have been as devastating, but at least she would have seen it coming. Maybe. Okay, no she wouldn’t have, because she would have replied to the e-mail telling him to not even think about using his bony, evil fingers to dial her number.

  “No way, God. This can’t be happening,” Deborah said, shaking her head while her face was buried in her hands. Not only was her face buried, but so were her feelings and all the remnants that had haunted her after that day in the abortion clinic. This was a bone that she didn’t need some dog sniffing around trying to dig up, and that’s just what she feared Elton was about to do.

  “The devil is a liar, a doggone liar!” she shouted and stomped her feet as if all of the devil’s heads were underneath them. “I have the victory,” she reminded herself. “I’ve come too far…” She looked upward. “Lord, you have brought me too far to leave me here. I’m going to get through this thing, all the way through it. Not stuck in the middle, not almost out, but all the way through, all the way out. I will not allow Satan to continue to beat me over the head with my past. God, you have forgiven me and I have forgiven myself,” Deborah declared in a victorious tone.

  What about the baby you killed? What about Elton? Have they forgiven you as well? Yeah, perhaps Elton portrayed himself as wanting you to have an abortion, but what if he really hadn’t? What if all of that had been a test—a test that you failed miserably? the devil shot back at Deborah.

  Before the devil had stamped his time card and gone to work on Deborah’s mind, she had never even considered those things, seeking forgiveness from the others involved in her sinful deed, the two people who really had no say in what she did. Yes, Elton had suggested she terminate the pregnancy, but that didn’t mean she had to do it. Ultimately it had been her decision to make with her body. And in hindsight, it hadn’t even been her body to make the decision for. It was God’s body, something she was supposed to present to Him holy and acceptable. She’d committed a sin against her body, His temple.

  Thank God the Lord had finally forgiven her for it, though, after she’d sought such forgiveness. It had never dawned on her that the matter involved more than just her and the Lord.

  Deborah was starting to get weak in the knees and queasy and lightheaded. What did Elton really want? What did he really want from her? Whatever it was, she had no intention of finding out any time soon. No, she had some praying to do. She had some fasting to do. She needed to be clear on whether Elton was coming in the name of Jesus or to stir up some mess.

  Her phone began ringing. She looked down at the caller ID. It read PRIVATE again. Could it have been Elton calling her back? Perhaps it really was Lynox calling this time. On one hand Deborah didn’t want to answer the call, just in case it was Elton. She wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not yet. On the other hand, she wanted to answer it, just in case it was Lynox. She didn’t want to play Lynox to the left one time too many by dodging his calls and risk ruining anything that coulda, woulda, shoulda. But what if that relationship wasn’t supposed to be either? What if that was Elton’s purpose for all of a sudden popping back up in her life again, to keep her from making a mistake with Lynox? Was God using Elton to block any mistake she might be making with Lynox?

  “Lord Jesus, help me!” she cried out in frustration as she held the ringing phone in her hand. “Take a deep breath and get it together,” she instructed herself. “I’ve run for too many years. I’m done running, so, Holy Spirit, whoever is on the other end of this line, please give me the very words that I need to speak, in Jesus’ name.” After inhaling a deep breath, Deborah answered the phone just before it went to voice mail. “Hello,” she answered, and after hearing the voice on the other end of the line, she exhaled.

  It was Lynox. Thank you, Jesus, she said to herself.
“Lynox, it is sooo good to hear your voice.”

  “Oh, wow.” He sounded relieved. “And here I was as nervous as all get out before calling you.”

  “Why? It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve ever talked to me.”

  “It’s the first time I’m ever talking to you with my intentions laid out on the table.”

  Deborah thought for a minute. “This is true.”

  “And if you don’t mind me cutting to the chase, what are yours?”

  Deborah was flabbergasted. She hadn’t been prepared for that at all.

  “I hope I’m not being too forward. It’s just that I’m forty-three years old. I’m not interested in having ‘just friends.’ I’m not interested in dating ‘women.’ I’m interested in a courtship with a woman. And not just any woman, but you, Deborah Lewis, if I’m being absolutely honest. I haven’t even been able to hold a conversation with another woman since the day I met you. You’ve been in my system. You’ve been in my spirit. So, as corny as this might sound, I feel like I’m so close to you.”

  Deborah said nothing. She just listened.

  “I don’t want to scare you off by sharing too much with you, but I feel it would benefit the both of us if you know exactly where I’m coming from and exactly where I want to go. I don’t expect for you to feel the same way about me, not just yet, but I expect you to give us a chance, knowing what I desire the final destination to be. If you notice your feelings going down a different path than mine, then I trust you’ll be honest and let me know. That way neither of our time is wasted and no one gets hurt.” He let out a deep breath. “There, I said it.”

  “And boy, oh boy, did you say it.” Deborah chuckled. “Wow… I… I don’t know what to say.”

  “Then don’t say anything. When you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything. That way you don’t risk saying the wrong thing. I don’t mind doing all the talking for now. I want you to get to know me. But do know I expect some reciprocity at some point. So, where do you want me to start?”