Love Hate

by Ruth Houston

  After all those nose-brushing, electrifying-atmosphere moments Tristan and I had shared, he goes and throws it away by kissing one of the easiest girls in school! No, make that the easiest girl in school!

  Wait, why do I even care? I thought. I have Lucas.

  As I thought this, I was suddenly enveloped by a sudden, overpowering urge to find Lucas and kiss him. I threw my nearly-full water bottle into a nearby bin and stormed off into the dancing crowd in search of my boyfriend.

  I shoved aside a guy who tried to rub against me like some over-excited cat and Lucas came into sight. But he wasn't alone. Someone had already beaten me to the chase and was now kissing Lucas.

  That's right: Haylee was kissing my boyfriend right in front of my very eyes.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  "What do you two think you're doing?!"

  I jumped at the shrill voice of Mrs. Hankinson, the school's German teacher. She walked up to Lucas and Haylee, who were still joined at the lips, and pushed them apart.

  These actions startled me out of my trance-like state and I stumbled a few steps backwards away from the surprised couple. Lucas caught my eye and his face instantly dropped.

  "Amber…" he whispered. "I… I can explain."

  I shook my head slightly as I walked backwards, my vision blurring slightly by my gathering tears.

  "Listen, Amber, this isn't what it looks like," Lucas stammered, making to walk up to me.

  That was when my feet sprang into action. I spun around and pushed through the crowd of dancing students, heading for the gym's doors. I heard people shouting angrily after me as I passed but I didn't pause to apologize.

  As I ran down the slightly quieter hallway outside the gym, I heard footsteps behind me that told me Lucas was keeping chase. He called my name over and over again but I didn't turn.

  I skidded around a corner and darted into a dark classroom. Without pausing, I slid underneath a desk and sat huddled there, not even daring to breathe incase it attracted him. I heard Lucas run past the classroom door and let out a long sigh of relief.

  He cheated on me… right in front of my eyes, I thought sadly. He didn't even care that I might see them together.

  A single tear rolled down my cheek as my breath shortened with sobs. I leaned against the desk's leg and hugged my knees into my chest.

  As I began to cry softly into my knees, I heard footsteps approaching my dark classroom. I quickly stifled my sobs and raised my tear-streaked face, my puffy eyes fixed on the classroom door.

  "In here," said a deep male voice as the footsteps reached the door.

  The door swung open and six dark figures entered the room, closing the door quietly behind them. I squinted through the darkness but I couldn't make out their features through my blurry vision.

  One guy said, "It's so dark in here. Someone turn on the light."

  "No! Are you stupid, David? We don't want to attract any teachers!" hissed the first male.

  "Are you sure you want to do this Callum? We could get into heaps of trouble," a third, more uneasy and quivering voice asked quietly.

  "Of course I want to Kyle!" said the first guy – who I now recognized as Callum Mitchell, the resident school bully. "Every year, a group of Black Ridge Seniors have beaten up a Wilson's kid, you know that. This year won't be any different. This year those Seniors are going to be us."

  "Speaking of Wilson's guys… Did you see that Lucas Thorn guy making out with Haylee Clyde?" David said.

  "What?" a sudden, sharp voice cut through the air.

  I stifled a gasp. What was Tristan doing with these guys?

  "Yeah, Thorn and Haylee were all over each other. Didn't you see it?"

  "Of course he didn't, Dave," Callum said suddenly. "He was too busy kissing Ashley, weren't you Tristan? By the way, well done mate!"

  Tristan muttered something that sounded like, "You can have her."

  "Are you kidding, Tristan?" David gasped. "Ashley is said to give the best –"

  "OK, Dave, I think that's enough," Callum cut him off quickly. "We have more important things to discuss."

  "What's Ashley good at?" Kyle suddenly asked absently.

  "Not now, guys!" Callum exclaimed angrily. "We need to pick which Wilson's faggot we're going to do tonight!"

  "Well, that sounds vaguely kinky," muttered Tristan, earning several snorts of amusement from David and Kyle.

  "Shut up, man, you know what I mean," growled Callum. "So, who's it going to be?"

  "Well, I've always thought that Jackson kid looks like a bit of a loser," commented David.

  "Yeah…"

  "No," Tristan suddenly spoke out, his voice dark. "We're getting Lucas Thorn."

  My heart jolted. Not Lucas…

  "OK, let's do this," said Callum. "Kyle, bring him to the hall outside the library. That way all the teachers will be on the other side of the school from us."

  "I don't know guys…" Kyle's voice had taken on its whiny texture again.

  "GO!"

  "Alright, alright. No need to get cranky," Kyle said.

  The door opened and then the boys were gone.

  I remained huddled underneath the desk and let out a long breath that I didn't know I had been holding. I bit my lip and stared hard at the floor, wondering what to do.

  My options were as follows:

  1.) Stay hidden in the classroom and pretend like I hadn't overheard anything at all.

  2.) Go back to the dance, find Georgia and go home.

  3.) Follow the boys to the corridor outside the library and try to stop them from bashing up Lucas.

  I know this might sound extremely heartless of me, but option 1 and 2 were looking very appealing to me at the moment. After all, how was I going to stop four very angry and pumped up boys from kicking the crap outta the guy who just cheated on me with my ex-friend?!

  I crawled out from beneath my desk and rose to my feet, dusting off the seat of my pants. I walked out of the classroom, furiously wiping my cheeks to rid my face of any smudged eyeliner.

  Here, my feet froze in place. My heart thudded in my chest as I looked left and right repeatedly. My head told me to take the left, to go back to the dance. But my heart…

  Well, let's just say I'm the sort of girl who ignores the little voice in her head. All I knew was that I had to stop the guys from hurting Lucas, despite what he had done to me.

  I made to hurry down the corridor towards the library, when –

  "Amber!"

  I turned to see Georgia, Zach, Jade, Harry and Henry all jogging toward me, worried looks on their faces. Without stopping, they all covered me in hugs, murmuring apologies and the like into my hair.

  "He's such an asshole…"

  "I can't believe he would do that!"

  "…And with Haylee! What a bitch!"

  I disentangled myself from my friends grasps and cried, "Guys! I'm alright! Listen, Callum and his group are outside the library as we speak and they're going to beat up Lucas!"

  Georgia's eyes narrowed. "I knew they were up to something when they left the dance. Of course their overly-large egos made them think that they had to beat up a Wilson's tonight."

  Without another word, our group hurried down the hall toward the library, only slowing when we heard raised voices issuing from around a corner. By the sounds of it, the fight had already started.

  I peered around the corner and my heart tightened. David held Lucas's arms back whilst Callum punched him repeatedly. Kyle was hanging back, a nervous look on his face. Tristan was standing behind Callum as though waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park.

  Suddenly, Lucas was thrown on the floor. Callum grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back up to his face, his fist raised to punch him again. There was a ripping sound and the front of Lucas's shirt ripped, exposing his tanned chest.

  "Oh no he didn't!" Henry exclaimed. "I loved that shirt!"

  Suddenly, Henry had run down the hallway and had jumped on top of Callum. Callum yel
led with pain as Henry grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled.

  "Go baby! Go you good thing!" Harry was screaming, throwing his fists in the air and egging his boyfriend on.

  Callum finally threw Henry off him and turned to punch him. Next thing I knew, Jade had joined the fight also, despite the fact that she was wearing a dress. She kicked Callum in the stomach before pushing David off Lucas and punching him in the stomach.

  Who knew the girl had it in her?

  My eyes were drawn to where Lucas was staggering to his feet, wiping away a trail of blood that dripped from his nose. I started forward to help him but I was beaten to the chase.

  Tristan leapt forward and knocked Lucas back to the ground. He pinned Lucas's arms down beneath his knees and began to punch every inch of Lucas's body.

  I ran forward and grabbed Tristan from behind, trying to pull him off. Suddenly, Tristan's hand flew backwards and knocked me in the side of the jaw, causing me to topple sideways into a locker. My head spun and black dots swam in front of my eyes.

  The fight stopped as I stumbled to my feet. Jade was staring at me, one hand on David's chest and the other frozen in the air mid-punch. Henry, who was pinned beneath Callum's body, was looking from Tristan to me, frowning slightly.

  Tristan stood staring at his hand as though completely stunned. He looked up at me slowly, his eyes wide.

  "Amber… I'm – I'm sorry. I didn't mean –" Tristan stammered.

  I shook my head slightly before turning on my heel and running away for the second time in one night.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  I don't know why I ran. I guess it was from the shock and confusion of the whole situation.

  Don't get me wrong, Tristan did hurt me… physically. After all, deep down, I knew that him hitting me had been nothing more than an accident.

  Over the next few days I saw Tristan and Ashley walking through the school, hand-in-hand. They were obviously officially going out. Every time I saw the strange couple together, my heart jolted and my stomach twisted in a tight knot of…

  Well, that's just it. I didn't know what I felt. Was I jealous or was I subconsciously just noting how Tristan deserves so much better?

  No matter what I was feeling, I decided to steer clear of the couple. This meant taking detours every time I saw them strolling down the halls, which generally caused me to be late to my classes. Let's just say my teachers didn't exactly appreciate this new change in behaviour.

  About the other newest addition to the couples in the school, every time I passed Haylee in the corridors she would smile smugly at me and prance pass with her nose in the air. I had learnt not to look at her for it just made me want to knock that stupid smirk right off her ugly face.

  Once during the week that followed the dance, I had seen Lucas waiting outside the school after last period. I had hung back, watching him out of one of the school's front windows.

  Haylee had passed me, caught sight of Lucas through my window and practically run out of the school. I watched as she flung her arms around Lucas's neck, beaming and throwing a triumphant glance at where I still stood in the window before turning back to her boyfriend.

  Just as I was about to turn away from the window, I caught sight of Lucas dragging Haylee's arms away from his neck. Even though I couldn't hear what he was saying, I could tell he was snapping at her as he frowned.

  But like I cared, right?

  Apart from all that, I had been trying to focus on my schoolwork. Hard to believe, right? Well, midterms were approaching quickly and I really didn't feel like failing my final year. Therefore, I had spent most of my spare time studying for my various subjects.

  This was the excuse I used every time my friends asked me to go out with them. Again, it seemed extremely unlike me to blow off my friends for school. The truth was I wasn't really up for hours of watching Georgia and Harry hook up with their partners with me sitting beside them, extremely bored.

  Anyway, the second Monday after the dance found me sitting to the side of my group, my Science textbook on my lap and a pen in my hand. I could feel my friends' eyes on me but I didn't look up. I hoped that if I didn't acknowledge their gazes and silent attitudes, general conversation would pick up again and the attention would soon slide off me.

  However, not five minutes later, two very familiar voices floated across the breeze and reached my ears. I stiffened and tried to resist the urge to look up. This wasn't as easy as it sounds and soon I found myself staring at Tristan and Ashley as they walked hand-in-hand across the grass.

  In a situation like this, I would usually pack up my books while making a quick excuse for my friends before running in the opposite direction of Tristan and Ashley. However, today I didn't feel like running. It was particularly humid weather and all I felt like doing was study in the shade.

  Therefore, I simply raised my textbook, attempting to hide my face from the couple. I couldn't have chosen a worse action. Apparently, lifting a colourful, thick book in front of your head actually attracts attention.

  Imagine that.

  "Hold on, Ashley, I'll be back soon," I heard Tristan say.

  I bit my lip, hoping that wherever Tristan was going, it wouldn't concern me. I inconspicuously glanced over the top of the textbook to see Tristan walking toward me, twisting his hands together nervously. Ashley stared after him sourly, before letting out a childish squeak, stamping her foot and storming off.

  I resisted to the urge to giggle and instead returned my gaze to Tristan, who was presently exchanging polite 'hello's with my friends. Instead of shooing him away, as normal friends would have done, they instead smiled and nodded their heads. Traitors.

  Tristan bent over and whispered something in Georgia's ear. She nodded, smiling, before rising to her feet.

  "Well, I've just remembered that I need to borrow a book from the library for… uh… Math," Georgia said quickly.

  "You need to borrow a book for Math?" Jade asked, puzzled.

  Georgia shot her a meaningful look before clearing her throat, smiling and saying, "Who's coming?"

  Harry and Penny climbed to their feet before turning to Jade, who was still looking confused. Giving a nervous giggle and glancing quickly at me, Penny grabbed Jade and pulled her to her feet roughly.

  "You're coming too, Jade. Don't you remember that book you wanted to borrow out on Ancient Egypt?" Penny said, her hand still on Jade's arm.

  "Wha –?" Jade cried out in pain as Penny clearly squeezed her arm, the latter staring into her sister's eyes meaningfully. "Oh! Oh, right! Yeah, I do. Ancient Rome… I can't believe I forgot," she stammered quickly.

  "I'll come too," I piped up, making to get to my feet.

  "Oh no, Amber, you stay here and study some more. We've got too many people as it is to, uh, go to the library," Harry said with a weak smile.

  I glared at my friends' backs as they retreated into the school, leaving me alone with Tristan. Without glancing up at the boy, I held the book in front of my face again, not reading, but listening for what he would do next.

  "Can I sit?" Tristan asked in a nervous voice.

  "Sorry, I can't talk at the moment," I said stiffly. "I'm studying for midterms."

  "What? Is there a test on reading upside-down that I don't know about?"

  With a jolt, I realised that in my haste to hide my face from Tristan, I had picked up the textbook the wrong way. I sighed and let the book slide from my grasp and land on the grass with a soft thump.

  "I've just cleared my schedule," I muttered, gesturing for him to sit down.

  Tristan smiled nervously for a moment before flopping down on the grass next to me. I noticed the space that he made sure was between us.

  "What do you want?" I was surprised by the harshness of my tone.

  To my regret and guilt, I saw by Tristan's expression that he had been somewhat prepared for my reaction.

  I sighed heavily. "Sorry. I'm just… a little on edge," I muttered, looking down at my hands.


  "Don't worry. After how I treated you that night at the dance, I expected this," Tristan said truthfully.

  "So, what do you want?" I asked in a gentler tone.

  "I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for knocking you away and hurting you. I really didn't mean to hurt you." I looked up to see pure honesty reflected in Tristan's eyes and my heart jolted. "When you grabbed me and tried to pull me off Lucas… I didn't realise it was you. I was too busy trying to murder Lucas." He gave a short, grim laugh and I could hear the regret in his voice.

  I let silence reign for a moment or two before asking, "Why did you want to bash Lucas up in the first place?"

  Tristan hesitated as he grabbed a stick and began to drive the tip into the dirt, his eyes on the ground. "When I heard that he had hurt you… I guess I wanted to hurt him back for you." His big green eyes looked up at me as though begging for me to understand.

  I swallowed and looked away from him. He was thinking of me?

  I shook myself mentally. But that didn't make what he did any better. You hate violence, remember? Especially violence between ego-controlled losers.

  "Look, I'm not trying to justify what I did to Lucas," Tristan said quietly. "I know I was wrong. I'm just trying to let you understand what I was thinking… and that I'm sorry for hurting you." He sighed and made to get to his feet.

  "Wait," I spoke out suddenly, my gaze flicking back to Tristan, who slowly sat back down. "I – I know. I, uh, accept your apology," I said lamely.

  Tristan smiled weakly. "So… we're OK?"

  I nodded, smiling.

  "So does this mean that you'll stop avoiding me?" Tristan asked hopefully.

  I sighed as I shook my head slowly.

  Tristan's face dropped. "Why not?"

  "I… I can't hang out with you again while you're with Ashley," I said slowly.

  Tristan frowned and I felt his eyes studying my face closely. "Did something happen between you two that I don't already know about?"

  My stomach clenched with the memory but I remained silent.