Heart of a Highlander

by Tammy Andresen

  When the dress was undone, he slid it from her shoulders and down to her waist. Then rolling her over onto the bed, he stood as he shimmied it off her hips. His fingers came to the stays of her corset and, flicking them apart, the garment fell away.

  Then he shed his own jacket and cravat before gathering her in his arms to kiss her again. The feel of his chest pressed to hers, with almost no clothing between them fanned the flames building inside of her.

  She began running her fingers up and down his back, noting the ridge of each muscle, the feel as they flexed. Unable to help herself, her hands pressed between them to do the same to his chest.

  He lifted his head then, his eyes holding a wicked glint. “Would ye like to see what I look like without my shirt?”

  She bit her lip, feeling devilish herself. “Oh, aye.”

  He removed the garment and his dark skin was exposed. Fiona felt her breath catch. She’d seen him without his shirt before, but it was different. Reaching out her hands, she let them trail along his abdomen, tracing the patterns along his skin. “Yer beautiful,” she murmured as she bent to kiss the path her hands had just travelled.

  He sucked in his breath. “Fiona, ye’ll be the death of me. I have to keep my head.”

  Straightening, she looked him in the eye. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “Nay, lass.” He shook his head. “Most innocents don’t act like that. It’s not that I’m complainin’, I just didn’t expect it and I want this to be perfect for ye. But I should have known better. Ye never do anythin’ halfway.”

  She leaned away from him then. He made her unsure, which was odd, but her uncertainty vanished in the next instant as he made to remove her pantaloons. “Let me show ye how hard it is tae keep yer control while someone kisses yer body.”

  The ache between her legs tightened with his words and she understood. Colin wanted to be gentle with her and her passion was making it difficult. She’d allow him to move at his pace this time. But the next time…well that would be completely different.

  As he stripped the last of her clothing off, his lips began to kiss down her neck, light touches that spoke of an emotion she didn’t dare hope for. But he was being achingly gentle with her and she appreciated it so much.

  As he came to her breast, he softly sucked the nipple of each one into his mouth. She cried out, wanting so much more from the touch as her hands tangled into his hair.

  “They are so perfect,” he groaned sucking each one a little harder. “I could spend hours making love to just them.” And he kissed a path down one, nuzzling the underside before starting a trail down her ribs.

  She understood his previous dilemma when his lips reached her abdomen. The ache between her legs tightened to an almost agonizing need and she felt herself pushing his head lower as her legs opened wider in invitation. He’d been right, she rarely did anything halfway and right now, she wanted all of it.

  When his lips touched her most intimate place, she bucked without meaning to, but the sensation was like nothing she’d felt before. A low groan fell from her parted lips as he tasted her again and again.

  Digging her fingers into his scalp, her body urged him on as her voice, hoarse with desire, cried his name over and over.

  When he slid a finger into her most intimate place, she couldn’t stand it anymore and cried out his name. She broke. In her heart, she knew she was his forever.

  Colin would never, as long as he lived, touch another woman. He belonged only to her. Stranger still was that he knew this was barely a taste of the passion that was to come. Fiona was a woman who gave completely.

  Sliding back up her body, he kissed her along the way, reveling in the beads of perspiration that had formed from their lovemaking.

  He’d felt the smooth tightness inside her body, so soft and ready and it called to him now. Soon they’d be joined forever. More even than the vows they would take, this was the moment, he knew that nothing would be the same.

  He pressed the tip of his manhood to her opening, wanting to give her time, trying to go slow. But Fiona never waited for what she wanted, and she thrust up, taking him inside her.

  He groaned out his satisfaction, even as he felt her twinge of pain. That was when he rolled them both over, never leaving the warm cocoon of her body. With her resting on top of him, he kissed her lips again. “Ye move whenever yer ready, love. I’ll wait as long as ye need.”

  “Tell me what to do,” she said as she wiggled on top of him, causing him to groan again. Always impatient.

  “Just slide it back out and then in again and see how it feels.” He gritted his teeth to keep himself still, trying to be as careful as possible.

  She did as he suggested and he knew without a doubt that the pain was gone. She gave a low groan of satisfaction. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

  “I couldn’t say,” he panted as she repeated the movement.

  Over and over she moved and no other words left his lips. It was too powerful, the need growing inside him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight to his chest. He’d never let her go. Not ever. They belonged together.

  He briefly wondered why he had wasted so much time. They belonged together but he lost himself in the moment. It was too powerful for thought.

  And then he felt her tightening again. Her movements sped up, grew erratic as she panted his name.

  He knew the moment she shattered, and his own desire spilled over. Then, together, they floated back down.

  It was several minutes before he could speak, but when he finally did, he lifted Fiona’s beautiful face off his chest where it had rested, and captured her lips with his. Then he said, “Ye never did tell me which church ye wanted to marry in.”

  She grinned. “Let’s see how yer father fares. Then we’ll decide.”

  His Father. Colin held back a groan.

  Chapter 13

  As the sun peeked into her window, Fiona woke to Colin kissing every inch of her face. “I’ve got to go,” he whispered. “The maids will be comin’ soon.”

  She gave a nod. He was right, he couldn’t be found here, but she didn’t want him to leave. Things went to hell when they weren’t together. “Will I see ye later?”

  “Of course.” His kiss moved to her lips. “I’ll be with ye just like yesterday. Maybe we can ask Keiran to chaperone a walk fer us so that we can get out.”

  “Now yer worried about a chaperone?” she giggled. He’d never concerned himself with that before and now he really had thoroughly and completely ruined her.

  He slid his lips over her jaw even as his hand slid under the covers to catch one of her breasts. He kneaded the flesh, working the nipple until he wiggled down lower, taking the peak in his mouth. “Have I told ye how perfect these are?”

  “Aye, ye have.” She gasped as he sucked harder, wetness pooling between her legs…again.

  He gave a little sigh as he pulled away. “Leave yer window open again tonight,” he whispered in her ear. “And I want Keiran with us in case we need to beat someone, not because I care about being chaperoned.” He rose from the bed and Fiona couldn’t help but admire the view.

  Crossing to her dressing screen, he pulled down her night shift she’d yet to use and brought it back over to her. The front side of him made the ache deepen. There were so many things she wanted to try. Her blood was boiling by the time he reached the bed.

  She shed the covers and got up on her knees as Colin approached. He let out a low groan as his manhood stiffened wantonly. “Fiona,” he rasped. “We can’t be caught.”

  She rolled her eyes but something else niggled in her belly…fear. She wanted him to lose himself in the same passion she was. And she didn’t want him to go.

  Because when he left…well she’d been down that road before. That’s when things started to go wrong. “I don’t want to think about the consequences. I just want to feel ye.”

  “I want that too,” he said as he wrapped her in his arms. “But as my wife, I do
n’t want to give anyone cause to think ill of ye.”

  Her doubt was growing and this little voice told her that if he left, they’d start all over again. “Ye meant it? Yer proposal last night?”

  “Of course, I meant it.” His eyebrows drew together.

  “Because ye’ve made me promises before.” She stood on the bed looking down into his eyes.

  For a second, anger flashed across his features, followed by guilt. “I’m going to hell fer that, but I meant it. We’re gettin’ married.”

  With a nod, she kissed his lips and then pushed him away. She’d trust him because he was her best friend They’d spent their lives together and she knew, deep down that he would be there for her. It was only recently that doubt had crept in and she pushed it away now. “All right, then. I’ll see ye at breakfast.”

  His eyes wandered over her. “Ye ken ye’re standing on a bed naked as the day ye were born with yer hands on yer hips?”

  “What of it?” she asked, a niggle of hope catching in her throat as she spoke.

  Quick as a snake, he reached his hands out and grasped her waist pulling him to her. “Maybe I can leave in just a few minutes.”

  She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her behind the dressing screen, already pressing inside her. Oh this was going to be fun…

  The rosy glow she felt lasted until well into breakfast. But the longer she sat without Colin the more worried she became. After more than an hour, she rose to find him, ready to tell him what she thought of him making her wait. But her father found her instead, his face grim, as he came striding toward her as she stood in the entrance of the dining room.

  “What’s wrong?” Her hand came to her throat, she couldn’t stand the formalities now.

  Taking her by the elbow, her father pulled her out of the dining room and started down the hall. “It’s nothin’ to worry about really.” Trying several doors he found one that opened and pulled her into a comfortable sitting room. “Colin’s mother sent a missive for him to come home right away.”

  “What?” Not knowing what else to do she sat on one of the settees. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest. It couldn’t be. Colin did not leave her again. It just wasn’t possible.

  “I delivered the letter to him myself. I dunnae ken if his dad passed or if it was somethin’ else entirely but he left early this morning. Said he’d find ye as soon as we came home.” Her father reached for her hand but Fiona didn’t take it. There had to be more than that.

  “Did he say anything else? Anything about me?” She could hear the shake in her voice. She was trying to understand. If something was wrong with her father, she would have raced to his side. But without saying goodbye?

  “You?” Her father cleared his throat. “No, he didn’t mention anything specific. Did he say anything to you about the future or anything else? Did he ask ye anything?”

  Why was her father being evasive and why wouldn’t Colin have told him about the engagement? “Why would he say anything to me?” She could feel her voice becoming shrill.

  “Fiona, there is nothing to worry about. As soon as we get home, we’ll go to the Campbells—”

  “We won’t,” she cut in. “He’ll come find me or I’ll never speak to him again.”

  Her father’s jaw clenched. “I’m not gonnae argue wit ye know but this conversation isn’t over. And try to remember, Colin might be sufferin’ after readin’ what was in the letter.”

  Fiona gave a nod. “I’ll try,” she swallowed. “It’s just feel like Colin is always pullin’ away.” She wanted to trust him and part of her did. Always had. But a tiny doubt was creeping in that this was just like the last time in the barn.

  Her father reached for her hand. “That boy loves ye. Don’t forget it.”

  Colin pushed his horse faster, racing to get home. What if his mother had called for him to say his final goodbyes to his father and he missed it?

  It was a day’s ride from the Stewarts’ to his home and he’d left in a rush so that he might make it before nightfall. Depending on what greeted him, he’d turn around and head back first thing in the morning. He’d made a promise to Fiona and he’d broken it again. If he didn’t make his apologies post haste, she might never forgive him. His gut clenched as he pushed his horse faster. Perhaps he should have waited to leave and explained first.

  But he’d wanted to have this done and get back to her as quickly as possible. He loved Fiona, he knew that now. She was his everything.

  Reaching a small village, he managed to change his horse before he continued on. Not wanting to take the time to eat, he was tired, hungry and sore by the time he finally arrived at the Campbell Estate.

  Dragging himself through the doors, the butler immediately ushered him to his mother’s favorite sitting room. Lady Isabelle Campbell was still an attractive woman and she stood gracefully to greet her son.

  “Colin.” She kissed both his cheeks, beaming at her eldest child.

  “Mum,” he looked at her, completely perplexed. “I came as soon as I got yer note. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” her smiled widened. “In fact, yer father is far healthier than he’s been in some time. Isn’t it wonderful?”

  Colin stared at her. “I left without saying goodbye. Stormed out and rode the whole day without rest or food because father is better?”

  She blinked. “Oh, Colin, I am so sorry. I should have been more specific. I just wanted ye to come home and spend some time with him before ye left fer the Highlands.”

  Colin tossed himself into a chair, covering his eyes with his arm. “I asked Fiona to marry me last night.”

  “That’s wonderful news.” His mother clapped. “She is a perfect choice fer ye.”

  “Then I left her this morning without a word. She’ll think I’ve abandoned her.”

  His mother sank down next to him. “She’ll understand. I’ll tell her the mistake was mine.”

  “I don’t ken that she will, and honestly, I’m not sure if I should hope that she takes me back or that she doesn’t.” Colin didn’t uncover his eyes.

  “Why would you say that?” his mother gasped.

  “I love her, Mum. I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t.” His chest tightened painfully.

  “Why would you want to?” She gently touched his arm.

  He sat up then, his arms dropping to his side. “Why would I want to?” he repeated, staring at her. “Da has been telling me my entire life not to marry for love, to marry a woman more like you.”

  His mother blinked. Then, unbelievably, she blushed. “Colin, he married me for love.”

  “That can’t be. He’s so sad and he always blames her death on himself and on love. He’s told me time and again to pick a woman who is strong.”

  “His marriage to Elswith was arranged by his father. It’s part of the reason he hasn’t planned anything for you boys. He wants ye to decide for yerselves.”

  Nausea was rising in Colin’s stomach. “How is that possible? He said—”

  “What did he say?” She sat up too, lines of worry marking her face. Had she not known? What a mess.

  “Not to make the same mistakes that he had. To marry someone dependable and strong like you.” Colin’s fists were clenched but he forced his voice to soften. He didn’t want to hurt his mother. “That love would break yer heart, that’s what he said.”

  “Oh, Colin,” his mother reached for his closed hand. “He married Elswith out of duty. We were in love before his marriage and we never stopped. He wasn’t unfaithful to her, but I knew I still had his heart. And when she died, he felt such guilt. That he’d never given any of himself to her and she had left this world delivering Shamus to him. He’d always had these periods of sadness, Colin, but after that…” her hand fluttered.

  Colin tried to piece together the words his father had said. This couldn’t be true, couldn’t be happening. He’d built his beliefs on this. “Mum, ye can’t mean that, he told me love was a mistake, he—”
>
  “Was it during one of his episodes?” His mother’s mouth pinched.

  He nodded, the sick dread tightening his entire body.

  “Try to understand. He thought his affection fer me aided in Elswith’s death. That she would have survived if he’d given her his love. He blames himself, and sometimes I suppose, me. He thinks that if he hadn’t loved me, she would still be alive. That our love was a mistake. I’ve tried to make amends the best I could. Be a good mother to Shamus. I never wanted Elswith to die and I love her son with all my heart.” She took a shaky breath. “Sometimes he wishes he’d married me first. I was always stronger. But then Shamus wouldn’t be here. And sometimes, I think, he wishes he’s never loved me at all and his heart would have been open to her.”

  “Mum,” Colin swallowed. Much as his mind reeled, all the things his father had said made so much more sense. His poor mother.

  “It isn’t too late fer ye, Colin. The mistake that yer father should have explained was loving one woman and marrying another. You can still correct that, Colin. Marry the woman yer heart desires.”

  Those words should have set him free, but the dread only compounded. Because he’d held Fiona in his arms. Touched her perfect skin, kissed her lips and stroked her hair. And then he’d left. Which was exactly what he said he wouldn’t do.

  She’d hardly forgiven him the first time. He had to get back to her right away. Night had fallen to an inky black. He could leave now, but it would be dangerous, near impossible to travel. And he was bone-tired. But the longer he waited, the worse it would be. With a sigh of frustration, he headed to the kitchen.

  He’d eat, get a few hours’ rest, and set out at first light. Because he loved her. And they were meant to be together. Why it had taken him so long to realize that, he couldn’t say, but he had to tell her.

  Chapter 14

  Fiona sat on her bed, not bothering to have lunch. Her head spun round as thoughts of last night and this morning played over and over.