Hip Check

by Deirdre Martin

  They were walking from the train station through Michelle’s old neighborhood when Nell looked up at her and asked, “Were you poor when you were little?”

  The question caught Michelle completely off guard. The answer was no, but seen through Nell’s eyes, she could understand how she could think that. Nell had grown up in one of the most exclusive areas of London, and now she lived in an exclusive part of Manhattan. Another reason bringing her out to her dad’s was a smart move: she’d get to see that not everyone in the world moved in the privileged bubble of the wealthy.

  “I wasn’t poor,” Michelle answered breezily. “Just regular.”

  Nell nodded, but Michelle wasn’t sure if she completely understood.

  Michelle felt Nell tense when they boarded the elevator up to her father’s apartment. “Don’t be nervous,” Michelle whispered in her ear. “My dad’s a big ole teddy bear and my brother is kind of a doofus. Do you have a slang word for that in British?”

  “Wally,” Nell supplied with a giggle. “He’s a wally.”

  Michelle opened the apartment door, greeted by a familiar scene: her brother was watching TV. She could hear her dad moving around in the kitchen.

  At least her brother sat up when Michelle and Nell entered, his trademark boyish smile sliding into place. “Hey, you must be Nell. I’m Jamie.” He held out a hand for her to shake. Nell hesitated, then shook his hand, if you could call it that. They barely skimmed palms.

  He leaned forward toward Nell, rolling his eyes. “Michelle boring you to death yet?”

  Nell looked at Michelle uncertainly.

  “He’s teasing. But you can answer him any way you want, Nell.”

  “Michelle is never boring!”

  “Just give her time.”

  Her brother gestured at the TV. “You guys ever watch Swamp People? It’s fu—awesome. These guys wrestle alligators and shit.”

  “He cursed,” Nell whispered to Michelle.

  “Yes, I know,” Michelle said, “but he’s not going to curse again, are you, Jamie?”

  “Try not to. Sorry, Nell.” He smiled encouragingly. “You wanna watch gators with me?”

  “They scare me.” Nell moved closer to Michelle.

  “Me, too,” said Michelle.

  “Yeah? So what do you two like to watch?”

  “The Simpsons,” Nell answered happily. “And sometimes I watch American Pickers with Michelle.”

  Jamie nodded approvingly.

  Nell was giving Jamie a careful once-over, which made Michelle happy to see. It meant she was interested, slowly shedding her feelings of being intimidated. “You’re a fireman, right?”

  “Yep. Our dad was, too. Speaking of which”—he looked at Michelle pointedly—“Dad’s blood pressure is really high.”

  “It’s always been high, Jamie.”

  “I’m just sayin’,” Jamie sniffed.

  “Can I see the firehouse sometime?” Nell asked shyly.

  “Sure. It’s got a pole you can slide down. You’ll love it.”

  “Sweet,” said Nell. Michelle stifled a laugh. Hearing Nell use American slang in her upper-class accent was amusing.

  “What? I have to wait in here forever to meet Nell?” Michelle’s father called out from the kitchen.

  “SOB’s as impatient as ever,” Jamie muttered.

  “Why would he change now?”

  Michelle tussled Nell’s hair. “Wanna meet my dad?”

  Nell looked a little nervous. “Okay.”

  Michelle squeezed Nell’s shoulder reassuringly. She sniffed the air. “I think he’s baking some cookies.”

  “’Cause that’s really good for his health, too,” Jamie said under his breath.

  “You need to stop fixating on Dad’s health,” Michelle said quietly. “It’s driving him nuts, and it’s starting to drive me nuts, too. So can it.”

  Michelle brought Nell through to the kitchen. She was right: a plate of chocolate chip cookies sat on the counter.

  “Hey, there’s the little girl I’ve been hearing so much about.” Michelle’s dad slipped off his oven mitts, extending a hand to Nell. “Ed Beck.” He glanced at the stove behind him. “You like chocolate chip cookies?”

  “A lot,” said Nell.

  “Whaddaya say we have a few with some milk?”

  Nell nodded avidly.

  He pulled out a kitchen chair for her. “Here, have a seat.”

  Michelle looked at her father. “Sure, don’t pull one out for me or anything.”

  “Guests get the best,” her father teased as he joined Nell and Michelle at the table, splaying his hands in front of him. “So, Nell. How’s life treatin’ ya?”

  “Dad,” Michelle said under her breath.

  Nell seemed to entertain the question seriously. “Pretty well.”

  “Glad to hear it. You like school?”

  “I guess,” Nell mumbled.

  “Everyone hates school at the beginning of the year. Then by the time you break for summer, you’ll be sad.” He jerked his head in Michelle’s direction. “I bet by now you’re finding out she’s a pretty good cook, huh?”

  Nell smiled.

  “Gets it from her mom.”

  For a split second, it seemed the wrong thing to say. But Michelle’s father, thank God, just rolled on. “Gets her crankiness from me.”

  “Michelle’s not cranky!” Nell protested.

  “Yeah? Wake her up real early in the morning and see what happens.” Now he clasped his hands together before him, folding them on the table as if he were interviewing Nell. It was hilarious.

  “Now, Nell, if you don’t mind me asking, what are your long-range plans?”

  Instead of looking mystified, Nell really seemed to be enjoying this.

  “Well,” she said very solemnly, “I’d like to go to university one day.”

  “For what?”

  Nell blushed a little. “For English. I want to be a writer.”

  “A terrific choice.” Michelle’s dad reached behind him for the plate of cookies, placing it in the center of the table. “Here’s the thing, kid,” he said, biting into one. “College can sometimes wind up being a big waste of time. Look at Michelle here: four years, and for what? You want to wind up like her, smart as hell but all alone? Take it from me: skip college, get married, and have a family. You’ll be a helluva lot happier.”

  Nell looked confused.

  “He’s joking,” Michelle assured her, which of course, he wasn’t. He might have said it in a jesting way, but there was no mistaking the subtext. Her dad, after some convincing, had started out proud she’d gone to college, but that faded fast when she opted for being a nanny. “How are you gonna meet men?” he lamented over and over. As if that was what mattered.

  “She’s a bit young to be thinking about stuff like that, Dad,” Michelle said.

  “Never too young to dream about your future if you ask me. Now,” he said, looking around the table with a big smile, “who wants milk?”

  14

  “It’s okay, Nell! Don’t be afraid.”

  Esa stood in the apartment doorway of his teammate Jason and his wife, Delilah. He thought it might be fun if Nell came over and met Stanley, Jason’s big, black Newfie, as well as the couples’ three other dogs (though Jason was always quick to point out they were Delilah’s dogs first): Sherman, an aging golden retriever; Shiloh, a cairn terrier who was too “yippy” for Jason’s liking; and Belle, an old, white, half-blind mutt whom Jason pretended to find annoying. Nell hadn’t grown up with any pets, and Esa had noticed that her eyes always followed people who were walking their dogs down the street. Going over to Jason’s was the perfect solution: Nell would get to meet cool dogs and he could hang out with Jason.

  It was impossible to open the door at Jason’s and not find Stanley already there, standing behind his human companion in all his goofy, slobbering majesty, his big brown eyes always on the lookout for love and affection. But Esa had forgotten that not everyone was use
d to seeing an animal that big. At least Delilah had finally trained Stan, and now the dog knew not to knock his master down in a frantic effort to get to the new person and smother them in gooey dog kisses. Nell spontaneously reached for Esa’s hand, which made him feel good, till he realized that the reason was that she was afraid, not that she had any new wish to be close to him.

  “That’s Stanley,” said Esa. “He’s the surprise I was telling you about! Have you even seen a dog that big?”

  “No,” Nell whispered, pressing herself against his side. Esa looked at Jason.

  “Looks like a giant teddy bear, right?” said Jason, trying to coax her inside. “Well, guess what? He acts like one, too. C’mon in, pet his head if you want. His fur is really fuzzy and warm.”

  Still grasping Esa’s hand, Nell slowly moved forward and tentatively reached her hand out, giving Stanley a few light strokes that barely touched his head. She smiled and dropped Esa’s hand. “It IS fluffy!” She resumed petting his head slowly, relaxing by degrees as she came to see Stanley was basking in it.

  “He loves it,” she said to Jason.

  “Yup. He does. He’ll let you do that for hours. And scratch his belly. He’s a total love ho—mebody.”

  “Can I play with him?” Nell asked Jason hopefully.

  “Hhmm. Well, it’s kind of hard to run around in here with Stan, he’s really big. But if you don’t mind just petting him and stuff . . .”

  “That would be fine,” Nell said eagerly.

  “Okay, but I have to tell you something first: he drools a lot. So if it’s gonna freak you out to get dog schmoo on you, it’s okay if you don’t want to hang with him. Lots of people don’t like the schmoo.”

  Nell pondered this. “I think I’ll be all right with the schmoo.”

  “You sure?” Esa double-checked.

  “Just give her the drool rag,” a female voice called out. Seconds later, Delilah came in from the kitchen, smiling. Esa liked Delilah. She seemed a little scatterbrained and eccentric, but you could tell right away that she had a big heart, especially if you had four paws and a cold nose. Esa couldn’t imagine a more boring occupation than dealing with dogs, though apparently, Delilah was very good at it.

  Delilah picked a rag up off the dog-hair-covered couch and handed it to Nell with a smile. “Hi, I’m Delilah.”

  “I’m Nell.”

  “You’re going to play with Stan, huh?” Nell nodded shyly. “Well, don’t let him push you around. He’ll hound you for treats if you let him.”

  “Which means it’s okay to give him a few,” said Jason with a wink, pointing to a small plastic jar filled with dog bones on one of the shelves.

  “We have three other dogs, too, if you want to meet them,” Delilah continued.

  “Babe,” Jason said to Delilah quietly, “you know you can’t get Stan’s hopes up this way. He’s expecting to play with Nell now. If you make him wait while you take Nell to meet Sher, Shi, and Belle first, he’s going to feel really dissed.”

  Delilah turned to Esa with a smile. “Have you met my husband, the Newf whisperer?”

  Jason opened his mouth to protest but Delilah got in there with a kiss first. “You’re right, you’re right,” she soothed him. “She can meet them after she plays with Stanley.” She smiled down at Nell. “We can have a snack later, okay? You don’t want Stanley gobbling them up.”

  Esa looked at Jason. “I thought you said Stanley had been trained.”

  “He is. He doesn’t knock people down anymore and stuff. But that’s as far as it goes. I mean, I had to leave a little trace of rebellion in his soul, you know?”

  Esa suddenly remembered a fun fact about Stanley he could share with Nell. “Stanley is the Blades’ mascot. If the team makes it into the playoffs, we always have Stanley at home games to bring us luck.”

  Jason rubbed Stanley’s chin. “Been slacking off a bit in that department, eh, boy?”

  “Not his fault.”

  “No. Lately, it’s been yours.”

  “Screw you,” Esa mouthed. If Jason was starting on him this early in the season, then it was going to make for a very long, bumpy ride.

  “Ready to get down with Stan the Man?” Jason asked.

  Nell smiled shyly as Esa helped her off with her coat, and she eagerly settled on the living room floor with Stanley, who immediately rolled on his back and wanted a belly rub.

  “Such a whore,” Jason sighed under his breath.

  Delilah put on her coat. “I’ve got to run out for some Greenies and check up on how things are going over at the kennel.” She regarded Esa. “She’s adorable,” she said quietly. “How’s she doing?”

  I have no fucking idea because I’m an asshole, Esa thought. “She’s adjusting pretty well.”

  “Good. After what she’s been through . . .”

  “I know.” Does anyone care what I’ve been through? He wondered what Jason had told Delilah, what his version of things was.

  Delilah said her good-byes to Esa, Jason, and Nell, and left. Esa was happy to see that although Nell still seemed slightly hesitant to “play” with Stanley, she was smiling, and he imagined that the dog’s shameless “pawing” of her would soon break down all her defenses.

  “Brew?” Jason offered.

  “Uh . . .” Esa hesitated. It had to be okay to have one beer while his niece played. It wasn’t like he was going to get drunk.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Hey, Nell.” Jason handed her a big hair brush clotted with black hair. “You can brush him if you want. He loves it.”

  “Can I put gel in his hair?” Nell asked eagerly.

  Esa cleared his throat. “Nell, I—”

  Jason looked pained for a moment, then shrugged and said, “Yeah, sure, what the hell.” He disappeared, returning with a tube of hair gel that he handed to Nell. “Here you go. We’ll be hanging out in the den, watching the big TV. Come get me if he tries to eat it.”

  “What was all that bullshit a minute ago about letting Stanley keep some of his rebelliousness?” Esa asked, following his teammate into the den. “How’s he going to do that if he winds up with a pointed head?”

  “Ah, a little gel won’t kill him. It’s not like I’m going to let him go out in public or anything.”

  Esa nodded, checking out the room as Jason opened the mini fridge and tossed him a bottle of Heineken. Biggest flat-screen he’d ever seen, killer sound system . . .

  “Nice man cave.”

  “Man and woman cave,” Jason corrected with a frown. “If you think that TV is just for my viewing pleasure, you’ve got your head further up your ass than I thought. Delilah commandeers the set for animal shows. I swear to God, if I have to watch another episode of Meercat Manor, I’m gonna blow my fuckin’ brains out.”

  “So go do something else.”

  Jason looked down as he cracked open his brew. “Well, you know . . .”

  “Yeah, I do know: you like to watch TV with your wife, you pussy.”

  “Fuck you, Saari.”

  They clinked their beer bottles together as they flopped down on the couch. Jason tilted his head in the direction of the living room. “How’s it goin’?”

  “It’s going fine.”

  “Nell is cool. I’m impressed that she didn’t cry when she met Stanley. A lot of little kids are freaked out by his size; they think he’s a baby bear.”

  “She’s pretty fearless,” Esa said with a surprising touch of pride in his voice.

  “I hear Ulfie sat for you last night.”

  “Let me guess: he called you first thing this morning to tell you about it.”

  “He said the nanny was hot, dude.”

  “As if he’d ever have a chance with her,” Esa said contemptuously, pissed off at the Swede’s observation about Michelle. It was sleazy. Cheap. Esa took a slug of his beer. “Yeah, last night was a cluster fuck. I didn’t realize it was ‘my night’ to stay in. And then when I did, the nanny was on her way out. And there were these tw
o Victoria’s Secret models . . .” He thought about last night’s threesome, but rather than feeling the usual flush of erotic pleasure course through him, he felt kind of grubby. “So I asked Ulfie to cover for me. I was pretty sure I’d get in before the nanny.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “No.”

  “Hey, maybe she was off having hot sex, too. You never know.” Jason took a slug of beer. “Well, hot or not, Ulfie said she’s kind of a bitch.”

  “She’s not a bitch,” Esa shot back. “She’s just very structured and protective of Nell. Which is what Nell needs right now, I guess.”

  “So Nell likes her.”

  “Loves her. And she loves Nell. She told me she’d make my life hell if I did anything to hurt Nell.”

  “Whoa. Major lioness behavior.”

  “I know.” Esa poured more beer down his throat. “She was actually waiting up for me in the dark so she could tear me a new one. Almost gave me a heart attack.”

  Jason laughed.

  “That’s fucked up, though, right?” Esa checked. “To wait up to ambush your boss?”

  “I don’t know. If she’s as protective of Nell as you say she is, and she knew you were off screwing those two models, maybe she thought you had it coming to you. Waiting for you in the dark is hilarious. I like her.”

  “Yeah, you would. Anyway, like I said, she ripped me to shreds. Told me Nell had been looking forward to spending the evening with me, and my keeping my previous plans with the twins and having Ulf babysit was kinda low.” Esa looked at his friend. “Do you think it was low?”

  Jason shrugged. “I guess if you disappointed Nell, it is pretty bad.”

  “Does she seem traumatized to you? One little slipup, and the woman makes me feel like the biggest loser of all time.”

  “Dude, you’re paying her. Who cares what she thinks as long as she does her job?”

  Esa tilted his head back and took a long slug from the beer.

  “Holy shit. You like the nanny.”

  Esa slowly swallowed the beer in his mouth before fixing Jason with a contemptuous stare. “Don’t be a moron, Jason. It’s because I’m paying her that it pisses me off she’s making me feel bad. Who the hell does she think she is?”