Finding Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  Mine and Riggan’s eyes lock. “I’m going back,” he says. “Whatever the fuck you do, do not show him that shit until we know for sure. I’m not kidding, Konnor. He’s already a loose cannon. Maddox handles his heartbreak a lot different than anyone else. The same guy that will go fuck the first hot girl to let him in will then feel guilty and punish his liver for his brain’s decisions as soon as he pulls the condom off. The point is, he’s unpredictable.”

  “Uh, guys,” Sayler butts in. “Wouldn’t word have spread around if she had gotten pregnant? There is no bigger rumor mill than high school. I can’t imagine that staying a secret in a smaller town. It’s not like he stayed gone. We aren’t kangaroos. We can’t hide them in a pouch.”

  “She has a point,” Riggan says. “I would have heard about it. She was private school and we were public, but it wasn’t uncommon for people to mix.”

  “And the whole time I stayed with them she never brought a kid home,” I add, letting it all piece together like a puzzle.

  “We will go,” Presley says. We all look at her. “Think about it. It’s going to look more obvious if Riggan goes back. He has to work and Maddox knows he doesn’t like too much time off at a time, let alone leave Sayler here pregnant for him to do so. She’s farther along anyway. She probably doesn’t need to be back on a plane this soon. And . . .” She huffs. “Since Konnor hung out with her, he probably remembers some of her hangouts and stuff. Between my parents in California and Konnor’s sister and parents back home, he has no reason to question us leaving. My sister is high maintenance and infused with drama. I can always make up something she did.”

  Riggan closes his eyes briefly and opens them. “Yeah, okay. Don’t breathe a word of that until we know what it means.” With the garage door still open I can see Kaysen’s truck pull up. Riggan grabs the door handle but leans forward before opening it. “That prick she calls Daddy lives in the biggest house in your parents’ subdivision. I’d start there. I find it extremely coincidental that she turns up missing the same weekend we had a gig and she slept with her long-lost forbidden love.”

  He gets out and makes it to the cargo space before Maddox steps out of the house in a different shirt and a pair of jeans, and freshly showered based on his damp hair. He walks past everyone without so much as a glance and gets in the passenger side of Kaysen’s truck. As they back up to turn around, Sayler steps out. Presley grabs my hand. “I hate him like this. We need to fix him. We gotta find her.”

  I lean in to kiss her. “We will. Do you want to freshen up or anything before we go?”

  “No. Let me go pee and we can go,” she says, already halfway out of my Tahoe. When she disappears inside, I hold my phone in front of me and text Autumn back.

  Me: We’re on our way. Leave the cops out of it . . . for now. I’ll call you when we land.

  Seven

  Maddox

  “What’s in your head? You’re unusually moody,” Kaysen says as he nurses on a beer, since he’s the D.D. tonight. We rotate. I did it last time, thankfully, because I don’t want to be sober right now. Since everyone else in the house is paired up, we hit it off that night we had the house party. The single friends in a group have to stick together. I’ve been meaning to talk to Rig about pulling him into the band but haven’t gotten around to it. He doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Might as well be one of us. “I thought that was Riggan’s M.O.”

  “Pussy problems.” I turn back the shot of Southern Comfort when Barbie girl smiles at me from down the bar. Hot face. Let’s see the body. I nod her over. She instantly starts walking toward us, pushing through the sea of gyrating bodies to the hip-hop music. Long bleached hair. Bronze skin. Grapefruit for tits only covered with a hot pink slingshot worth of fabric. Bare midsection to show off the belly button ring sparkling in the light. Short skirt that matches the band across her chest, leaving not a damn thing to the imagination. “But not for long.”

  Kaysen laughs when he looks at her. “Miami’s finest—fake tits, curves with no body fat, minimum clothing, extensions, enough makeup to hide every flaw, and porn star heels. That requires zero effort if you were born with looks. Find something a little more challenging.”

  I pick up the new shot waiting for me and shoot it. I’m well past drunk but headed toward mentally challenged where thinking takes a lot of effort, which is where I want to be. “Found that when I was seventeen. Lost it twice. Not interested. All I need is someone to make me come. She’ll do.”

  He shakes his head and pushes off the bar. “I’m going to the pisser. I’ll find you in a few.”

  He walks off just as she walks up, a drink in hand. “Hi. I’m Brandie. What’s your name?”

  I grab her hip and pull her closer, giving her the smile that always works. “Maddox, but we could just skip the formalities and go straight to the dance now and play later.”

  Her smile grows and she sets her drink down. “I could dance.”

  Grabbing her hand, I pull her out into an open space and then pull her back against me. Her round ass brushes against my pelvis, and the fabric of her skirt is so thin I can feel the dip between cheeks. It’s better than I thought it’d be. She pulls her hair to one side, letting it sweep over her shoulder.

  My hands position on each of her bare hips and I lower my head, bringing my mouth to her ear to talk over the blasting music. “This is a hot little body you have here. Show me how you earned it.”

  She turns her head, our lips close, and then she starts to roll her hips against me as she looks up at me with bright eyes from beneath full, long lashes that can’t be real. I follow her rhythm, and with every beat that passes my hands get more comfortable, until they’re gliding up her flat stomach, making her skin jump. “I’ve been eying you all night,” she says, and then comes in closer, until her red lips are pressed against mine. And through the heat of her kiss, everything animalistic inside is set free, transforming me, and finally, all the thoughts in my head silence, just like every time I’m with another girl. For a little while I’m at peace.

  I unlock the door to the house and walk inside, pulling the girl from the club behind me. Kaysen and another girl follows. At some point during the night Brandie’s friend showed up. She’s been all over Kaysen since. All of the lights are off in the house with the exception of a light over the kitchen sink that stays on overnight. “Where do you want us?” Kaysen asks as he locks the exterior door. The room swirls around me. I’m hammered. Kaysen popped something in his mouth when we pulled into the driveway. Probably X. He said he parties with it every once in a while for a quick high when he can’t drink because of driving.

  “We can all just go in the basement. It’s plenty big enough.” I open the door and turn the light on before hitting the first step, the other three following me. The door eases shut when I pass the stage we built down here back in the summer, moving toward the couch. I release her hand and continue toward the refrigerator. “Want something to drink? It’s mostly beer, but there are some leftover Seagram’s in here from Presley. She won’t be drinking them.”

  “Sure.” I twist off the cap and dish out the bitch beer to the girls, before handing a beer to Kaysen, who’s now sitting on the couch, and grab myself one before joining him, already taking large gulps from the bottle even though I really don’t need it. I watch her as she looks around. “Do you have any music?”

  I reach over and grab the remote off the end table, turning on the Bluetooth system in the corner of the room, and then fish my phone out of my pocket to connect it, instantly putting on a hip-hop playlist. Her friend with the long brown hair—Shelby I think—comes toward Kaysen and walks between his spread legs, turning around, and starts giving him a lap dance. “Strip,” he tells her.

  As she removes her skimpy top with no bra underneath he sits upright and starts groping her. Brandie sets down her half empty bottle and straddles me, already coming in for a kiss. Everything is spinning. I’m so fucked up. But the second she starts grinding against my l
ap my hormones take over and I jerk the band of fabric she’s wearing across her boobs that looks like a bike tube almost down to her waist. Her tits sit firm on her chest, only moving if you force them to. They’re so big in comparison to her size there is no natural give. She’s gotta be a double D. I prefer natural, but I like these too.

  She starts tugging at my shirt, hinting she wants it off. My hands run along the backs of her thighs until they’re holding handfuls of ass. “When my clothes come off, we’re fucking.”

  “Yes,” she whispers. The end table has a drawer. I set my beer down and open it. After that night with Riggan and Sayler down here I put a box of condoms in it. Seemed appropriate, given this is no one’s room. It’s like a central space. And there’s no bigger mood kill than stopping the heat to go find condoms. I’m not taking a bar whore to my bed either.

  She gets off my lap as I pull the box from the drawer and tear it open, already shoving her clothes down her legs. A zipper sounds to my right, and seconds later sucking sounds fill the room, grunts following. “Damn, girl.”

  I pull a condom from the box and stand, tossing the box on the couch beside him for when he wants it, and then jerk off my shirt as I shuck my shoes. His eyes are hazed while he watches her swallow his cock. Brandie comes in and kisses me, trying to work my jeans open. I shove them down my legs and step out, before forcing her back, toward the couch. “Bend over.”

  She turns around and bends over while I tear the condom wrapper open, placing her hands on the couch cushion. I roll it on and grab her hip in my hand, aligning my head just right, before pushing inside. “Shit. You’re bigger than I expected.”

  I push in and pull out a few times, getting comfortable and making sure the condom is good and slick, and then with both hands on her hips, I let her have it. Skin is slapping against skin and she’s moaning with no end. “Yeah, give it to me.”

  Kaysen tears his shirt off and pushes his pants down while Shelby gets naked, already sheathing his dick when she gets on his lap and sits down on him. The large tattoo stretched across her lower back starts to move with every pump up and down on his dick. I hit harder and faster. “Oh, fuck yeah! Yeah! Yeah! So good.”

  I fight rolling my eyes. She’s a screamer. Those annoy me. I need realism to come and that sounds fake. I look at Kaysen. “Shut her up.”

  He smirks at me, rubbing Shelby’s clit while she rides him, and then leans over to grab Brandie’s head, pulling her in for a kiss. She’s moaning loudly, despite his effort to kiss her, and one hand moves from the couch cushion and disappears between her own legs. Suddenly she starts clenching around me. “Shit, he just got harder,” Shelby says.

  Kaysen pulls Brandie closer, like he wants a piece, his mouth already going for her hard nipple. I pull out and shove her toward him, already looking at Shelby. “Come here. Let’s see if you can make me come.”

  Her eyes are hazed and her cheeks are flushed. She pushes off of him, and if he even noticed you wouldn’t know it, because he pulls Brandie on him and forces his cock in her, suddenly seeming a little more hyped-up than the lazy fucking he was doing before.

  She walks toward me. “How do you want me?”

  I sit on the edge of the couch. “Turn around. I don’t want your mouth on mine. It’s been wrapped around his dick.”

  She straddles me backward, pulling her hair over to one side as she looks back, getting in the right position. I hold my dick and lower her down on it, closing my eyes as I sink into her heat. Tighter than the other one. I grip my hands firmly on her tits, pulling her back to my chest, until my chin is over her shoulder, beside her face. Soft, plush skin sits in my hands, spilling out—natural. “Ride my cock like you’re hungry for it.”

  She does as told. I reward her with a strum to her clit. She starts bucking harshly, making it better for me. Has a better impact with her legs spread wide and my legs blocking them from closing. Within seconds her pussy is throbbing around my dick and tightening like a cock ring.

  My turn. I’m so close. One hand around her waist and the other clamped over her shoulder, I bounce her rapidly, until finally, with the hot rush warming my dick I push her off of me just in time to come into the condom, holding the opening tight around my dick to keep it all in.

  My head falls back against the couch, not even paying attention when Kaysen twists them around, shoving Brandie’s head down into the cushion with her ass in the air, tearing it up, and at that angle, it doesn’t take but a few seconds and he pulls out.

  I close my eyes, trying to slow down the room, but the second I do, last night starts playing through my mind. Gabby. Guilt seeps into my vein, poisoning me with every beat of my heart, until finally, it’s consuming me whole. “Get up,” I tell her. I rush off the couch and walk to tear off a section of paper towels, before wrapping it over the soiled condom and sliding it off my dick, closing the paper towel around it so I can toss it in the garbage can next to the refrigerator.

  Quickly grabbing my boxer briefs, I step in and pull them up my tall frame. Kaysen looks at me. “Put on a movie. I’ll be back.”

  Then I hightail it out of the basement and run all the way across the house and up the stairs to the second floor, feeling the invisible hands wrapping around my neck and already squeezing the life out of me. Panic sets in over the fact that I feel like I can’t breathe. I nearly fall into the bathroom before getting the door shut. A layer of filth is covering my skin and vomit is lingering at the pit of my stomach.

  My mouth feels dirty. I reach for my toothbrush and coat it in toothpaste, before scrubbing every part of my teeth, tongue, and the roof of my mouth, hard, making the bristles bear down so hard it could draw blood. I spit and rinse my mouth with water. Still, I feel her taste lingering. I grab the Listerine and drink from the bottle, swishing until I can’t stand the burn anymore, finally spitting it in the sink and rinsing out the basin.

  My skin feels like it’s crawling with grime. I turn the hot water on as hot as I can stand and shove my underwear down my legs, before getting in the shower. Everything becomes reflex as I grab the body wash and squeeze way more than necessary into my hand after God knows how many times I’ve done this over the past six years. My soap-filled hand wraps around my dick and I pump as hard as I can take, spreading the soap all over my shaft to wash them off of me. I need them off my dick and then I’ll get them off my body, but before I get all the soap off of me my upper body leans forward against the wall, and I break.

  Eight

  Riggan

  Sayler jerks forward at the sound of banging on the shower wall. I was hoping it wouldn’t wake her. I’ve been up since Maddox ran up the stairs and nearly slammed the bathroom door. “Rig, what is that?”

  I sigh. “Maddox.”

  “What is he doing?”

  “Punching the shower wall.”

  “Why?” she whispers, clearly getting upset.

  A masculine cry filters through. “He brought a girl home, fucked her, and now he feels guilty for doing it. I don’t completely understand it. He fucks other girls to deal with his Gabby issues but then he hates himself for it the second it’s over. Maybe it makes him feel like he’s cheating on her because she’s the one that has his heart. I don’t know. If she were here, he wouldn’t be with other girls.”

  His cries are just loud enough to hear over the water. “I can’t listen to that,” she says, and throws the covers off, before climbing over me in her tank and panties to get off the bed.

  I sit up and swing my legs over just in time to grab her hand, catching sight of her small round belly. It’s a visual I like way too much to admit out loud, and it’s really just the beginning stages of showing. “Where are you going?”

  “He needs someone. You can come or stay, but I’m going to comfort him.”

  I growl, but I’m not really all that angry. “I love your heart until it fucks with my time.”

  “He’s been there for us. We are going to be there for him. If he’s like this now, what if he
has a kid?” she whispers.

  I point at her, making sure she knows how serious I am, good-hearted or not. “I’m going to stand back and let you be his friend right now even though I know he’s naked and you’re in panties and you two have hooked up. But so help me God, if that’s true, you better be nowhere near him when he finds out, because he’s going to kill someone. If I’m here, you will be in a different room, and if I’m not, you better put your ass in that white car outside and drive you and my daughter away from him until the dust settles. Do you hear me? I’m not fucking around.”

  She leans in and kisses me. “I promise.”

  My shoulders drop. “Go.”

  She runs across the room and swings the door open. I grab my phone off the nightstand and pull up Konnor’s chat.

  Me: You better be bringing that bitch back. Self-destructive phase one is happening. They brought girls home. I’m not doing this shit with a baby on the way. You’re in the same boat now.

  I wait for the return message since it shows he’s typing. The bubble sound goes off since I switched it to ring in case he called.

  Konnor: We’re outside her house trying to figure out what room. We have her shit. I’ll let you know.

  I replace my phone on the nightstand and get up, making my way out of the room and across the hall. I push the cracked door open and walk inside, instantly freezing at the sight of Sayler washing his back with him leaned forward against the tile. She shakes her head at me when my mouth opens. I was prepared for full frontal hugging. I had prepped myself not to snap if his dick touched her. I don’t even know what this is. “He’s dirty,” she says in a calm voice. “I’m helping him get clean. I’m washing them off of him.”

  He has finally snapped, and I don’t know if that’s because he doesn’t have to worry about my ass anymore or if it’s because he finally saw Gabby again after only thinking about her for years. She’s all grown up now compared to the fourteen-year-old he left behind. I shut the bathroom door. “Maddox, what did you do?”