Finding Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  I glance at Maddox, my eyes filled with tears. “He demanded for me to break up with you. I tried to distance myself from you after he said he wanted you gone and that he would make sure it happened one way or another. I couldn’t do it. I love you too much. That’s when we all met—me, you, our parents. Remember?”

  His expression saddens. That was one of the worst days of my life. That whole short period was a nightmare. He places his hand on the side of my face. “Yeah, baby, I remember.”

  “He made our love sound insignificant. He made you out to be a predator. He made it sound like I was raped. I was embarrassed and angry. He threatened your parents that he’d have you arrested if you didn’t move and transfer to another school. I prayed that your parents would fight him. Instead, they sent you to live with your brother. Everyone made us wrong. I wasn’t letting you leave without saying goodbye. I wanted something to hold onto.”

  I finally look back at Sayler’s dad, my face soaked. “I got pregnant. Maddox was long gone by the time I found out. My dad was going to make me abort it. I begged, swore I’d never tell Maddox, told him I’d do anything he wanted. He said the only way I was carrying him was if I kept it quiet and gave him up for an adoption and stayed out of the process. I had to leave everything up to my dad. I started showing during the summer. He put me on house arrest. I wasn’t allowed to go back to school come fall until the baby was gone. There was an Obstetrician that lived in our subdivision. My dad worked out house calls for anything that didn’t require me going to the clinic. I gave birth in November. I’d barely gotten him in my arms when my dad forced me to turn him loose, using Maddox as leverage before having him taken out of the hospital room. He knew he could use Maddox against me. I’d never let him go to jail. I let our son go. There were so many people in and out of the room between nurses, doctors, and techs. I never paid them any attention. I was mourning the loss of my son. My dad told me I wasn’t leaving the hospital without birth control. I didn’t argue. I didn’t want to go through that again. He said it was an implant—good for three years—so I wouldn’t screw it up. My senior year he had someone come by the house to change it out even though I wasn’t having sex. I couldn’t do it—go all the way. In my head there was always the possibility he’d come back for me. I wanted him to know my loyalty. At twenty-one, I’ve still only had sex with Maddox. I wasn’t late having the implant changed again and I have nothing to do with my dad anymore if I can stay away from him, so imagine my surprise when Riggan told me to take a pregnancy test to get a tattoo for our son and it was positive. Was it just a fluke, Dr. McKenzie? One of those rare percentages where I still got pregnant despite the fact that I was on birth control?”

  “I don’t think you were ever on birth control, Gabby.”

  I’m waiting for the punchline of the joke, but it doesn’t come. He never cracks a smile. “Are you saying I’m imagining it? Didn’t you just take it out? I’m not sure I understand.” I think about what it sounds like he’s saying, and my eyes quickly find Maddox’s, filled to the brim with more tears. “I’m not making it up, I swear. I’m not trying to trap you.”

  He rolls his eyes at me. Like seriously rolls his eyes. I don’t think this is a joke at all. This isn’t a time for sarcasm. “You could have told me you wanted a baby, Gabby, and I would have knocked you up on purpose. I’m almost twenty-five and you’re twenty-one. I would have even done it when we were younger. Would you shut up with that shit?”

  “That’s not what I meant, Gabby,” Dr. McKenzie says, pulling me back to him. “What I removed from your arm wasn’t birth control.”

  I blink at him, trying to let my brain catch up to what he said. That doesn’t make sense. “Then what was it?”

  “I spoke with a colleague and sent him photos. He sent back a photo of what they use at the clinic for birth control implants. They looked nothing alike. I did some research. It’s a microchip implant that’s placed just beneath the skin in the tissue. There are scanners that can read them. They can be used for anything from credit card usage to medical records. There are GPS tracking capabilities, though I don’t know the range. They’re hardly common in the sense of human implantation. Most put GPS transmitters on objects like vehicles and jewelry. They mostly appeal to the wealthy class in the incident of human trafficking, but to most it’s still an invasion of privacy. My guess is your father wanted to keep tabs on your whereabouts if you were constantly in a fairly short range without you knowing.”

  My jaw feels like it’s hanging. Maddox tightens his fist around the side of my shirt. I don’t know what to say. He was tracking me? That’s impossible. But then I remember the night in my room when my dad showed up and drugged me so he could take me back home without causing a scene. He knew I would have fought him conscious. That wasn’t the first time he suddenly appeared where I was either, and even though we don’t live in a small town, we don’t live in an urban city either.

  Kidnapped . . . I’m reminded of getting whipped because I wouldn’t take the Plan B he was trying to force on me. I kept wondering how he was so sure I’d been with Maddox after all this time. My eyes close as everything starts to align. It all makes sense. The bad part is the signs were there. I just never caught on.

  How often does he follow me? You shouldn’t need Plan B backup when you have a birth control implant. He wanted to make sure I didn’t get pregnant again because I was never on it. Jesus. I knew my dad was controlling but this is a new low, and why was he not worried I’d get pregnant again by someone else? What if I had gone all the way and the condom broke? Or my partner didn’t wear one? He knew I wasn’t protected when I thought I was! That’s too risky for my dad. Has he known all this time I wasn’t having sex? My life is my privacy! There are boundaries! If he did this what else has he done?

  I’m so angry the tears are quickly gaining momentum. That backstabbing bastard. I clench my jaw after shutting my mouth. My throat is closing up and it’s getting difficult to push air through. I have to get out of here while I have some dignity left. I’m about to break. “Dr. McKenzie, thank you for doing this, especially on such short notice.” I’m getting more upset by the second. “Please excuse me. I need to go,” I whisper, and take off running toward the door. Riggan already has it open wide when I get there. I’m thankful, because the second I step through the opening I take off in a full run.

  “Gabby, wait,” Maddox shouts, but I ignore it.

  I’m fucking done with my dad!

  Forty-One

  Maddox

  We pull up at the house in Sayler’s car, barely making it to a full stop before I open the door and get out. I’m so mad my face is hot, and probably red. My face is always a dead giveaway over which emotion I’m feeling. My cheeks turn red when I’m upset or angry; same when I’m turned on. They’ve done it since I was a kid.

  I opted to get in the small back but Sayler wouldn’t allow it since she’s smaller than me, needing less leg room and all. Thoughtful—something my fiancé isn’t at the moment. By the time I thanked Dr. McKenzie because my parents taught me not to be rude, and walked outside, Gabby was taking off in my truck. My boots were too heavy to run and actually get somewhere. Should have taken the fucking keys out of the ignition! We were in a gated residence. I didn’t think I had to keep my girl from stealing it.

  I called her phone probably twenty times on the way home, worried about her. She wouldn’t answer, further pissing me off. My body felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t even speak.

  Sayler kept trying to take up for her to talk me down, explaining over and over again how for girls there is an adjustment period the day you find out you’re pregnant if you weren’t planning it. Thoughts running through your mind. Fears. Anxiety. It did nothing to help my mood. This has nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with her leaving my ass there. The bitch knew it would piss me off.

  Riggan knew to save his words. I’ve always had a temper. When something sets me off it’s best to leave me alone. It rais
es to dangerous levels when it involves Gabby. Nothing anyone could say or do would change the fact that I didn’t do shit and she took off on me. But Gabby is smart. She knew I’d rip her a new one if her voice came over that line. I’d give her my last dollar and do without, no questions asked, but do me dirty and I’m not going to just sit back and be walked all over because I’m a nice guy. I’m gonna tear her ass up. I had to track her on the app we use for each other. At least she came home.

  I pass my parked truck and march through the garage, my hand gripping the doorknob a little too hard as I storm through the door, nearly pulling it with me from forgetting to loosen my grip. The house is quiet, Konnor and Presley both gone. My mind is clear as I climb the stairs. My conscience is buried under my rage.

  I step onto the third floor, staring at the closed bedroom door. When I grab it, it doesn’t turn. She locked it. I grin, much like an evil villain. She knows. Good girl. I ball up my fist and bang my pinky side on the door. She doesn’t say anything. “Gabrielle.”

  Her footsteps stop from the wear pattern she was no doubt leaving in her loud pacing. “Mad,” she says sweetly—her fake voice jacked up to a high pitch to smooth things over when she knows she’s pissed me off to the point of no return. Cutting my name in half isn’t going to work. She never does it, so it’s completely out of character for her. She’s always liked my full name. I, on the other hand, never call her by her full name unless I’m ready to take her to the edge of death before letting go. “I was upset. I needed space so I wouldn’t snap at any of you. I knew you had a ride. I love you.”

  “Open the damn door.”

  A light thump occurs on the other side, confirming she’s pressed against it. Only a slab of wood separates us. I clench the frame in each hand, wanting to tear it apart. “Promise me you’ll behave.”

  I smile. “And lie? Not a fucking chance.”

  She huffs out and the sound of the lock turning stands between us. I wait impatiently as she turns the knob and opens the door, her eyes instantly locking with mine. She takes me in, her foot already stepping back to retreat. I stalk toward her, slamming the door as I come inside. There is a hint of a smile in her expression. “What are you gonna do?”

  “Whatever the fuck I want. We’re supposed to be in this together. We’re partners. I give you everything and you give me respect. That’s the way it works. You left me behind, Gabrielle. Do you know how that feels? To be left by choice.” She follows my hands with her eyes as they go for my belt buckle, working it open, and then I grab the buckle side and pull, sliding it through the loops.

  Her tongue swipes over her bottom lip, telling me everything I need to know. We always did one thing best. Sure as hell always fixed shit with it. Why stop now. “What do you want me to do?”

  My heart starts pounding, my dick hard as steel. I unbutton my jeans and fold them down. “Get on your knees and suck my dick, you crazy bitch.”

  Her eyes change—focusing and penetrating—sending a spike of adrenaline through my bloodstream. She should tell me to go to Hell for talking to her that way. It bothers me to even say it once it’s out. She won’t. Gabby thinks I’m oblivious to shit just because my morals ring loud and clear more than most who enjoy dabbling in the very thing that slowly kills us—sin.

  She doesn’t like to be talked down to or controlled unless it’s related to sex, and then it turns her on like nothing else. She deals with sweet sex—making love—for me, but she’s always tried to uncover the dark and demanding parts of sex I crave yet try to hide. I’ve never completely understood the switch. Maybe that’s why we work so well together. We both have two sides. I’ll never get tired of the way she can make me feel—electric. She makes me feel like an adrenaline junkie on the hunt for his next fix. We’ve always been charged when we’re together and dead when we’re apart.

  She drops to one knee, and then to both, never looking away from me. Her hands clench around the band of my boxer briefs and she slowly tugs them down until her hand is wrapped around my dick, stroking without being told. Her touch always sends a spark running through my veins. “Fuck yeah, baby. I’m your crazy bitch. You want me to show you how much I love you?”

  I clench her jaw between my thumb and pointer finger, tilting her head back for her to look up at me. “Show me there will never be anyone else. I’m yours and you’re mine. I can’t watch you drive away from me, Gabby. After all these years apart, it scares the hell out of me.”

  She smiles, making my heart stumble over itself. “I’ll do you one better.” She leans in and swipes her tongue over the tip of my dick, tasting me by swallowing my pre-cum. “I’ll show you that you’re the only one that’ll ever be home.” She wraps her lips around the tip, sucking it with a pop. “Fuck my mouth, baby. Don’t go easy on me, k? Don’t stop until I gag.”

  My hand moves to her hairline, my fingers combing through it, and then I clench around a section of strands and push her against the mattress for neck support, excitement boiling under the surface. I’ve only done this a handful of times at best. I’ve never been comfortable shoving my dick down her throat even though I’ve imagined it hundreds of times, worried it would turn her off to giving head, and the truth is, I like when Gabby sucks my dick, despite how dirty it is. Regardless of how guilty I feel when she does it, I don’t want her to ever completely stop.

  With a slight smile on her face, she opens wide and shoves her tongue out, letting me rub the tip up and down it. I pop the head on the center a few times, before shoving it deeper, groaning with every inch I gain. Like a reflex, she closes her mouth around it and moans as she sucks me in. The feel of her warm mouth swallowing me causes me to pause. I savor the feel of the only girl I’ve ever loved being down before me; the only girl that’s ever had her mouth on me this way. That thought alone has me pulling back and thrusting forward, until the tip hits the back of her throat.

  Her mouth waters, her eyes locked on mine, and when she jerks my jeans down to my thighs, I know she wants more, and so I give it. Hard. Fast. Deep. With every hit of my head to the back of her throat her eyes gloss over. Her mouth is so wet from saliva it’s pouring out. “Do you like being the only girl that’s sucked me?”

  Another moan, and then I catch her hand inching down her stomach toward her pants, before it disappears inside them. Instantly her hips start to buck against her hand as she rubs her clit, causing me to speed up, ignoring the fact that her throat is contracting like I’m striking against the very back. Fuck that feels good. Her opposite hand comes up between my legs and softly grabs my nuts the way she knows I like it—massaging gently—the way she knows makes me come really fucking fast.

  Cum fills my dick, forcing me to pull back, but instead of letting me she clamps her lips around it and moves both hands to my ass, forming a death grip, keeping me inside. Without time to fight her, the first spurt shoots into her hot mouth, followed by another, and another, and another. My mouth falls open and my eyes close as I feel through my orgasm. She runs her tongue along the bottom side, adding to the sensitivity.

  I look down at her. She’s looking up at me. So beautiful. So strong. So irreplaceable. When there is nothing left, she pulls her mouth off my dick and swallows. “You’re so hot. Get up.”

  She stands, but not before dragging my jeans down my legs and pulling them off with my boots, kissing my thigh so softly it makes my dick jump. All I can do is stare at her in awe. This is what the rest of my life is going to look like, and I almost missed it because I didn’t go looking for her. Had the universe not aligned just right, I’d have lost her forever.

  I’m already tugging her shirt off and tossing it to the floor when she stands to her full height, but she’s not looking into my eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have waited.” Her shoulders drop as she shoves my shirt up my body, wanting it off. I remove it. The second I’m naked and going for her pants she starts to cry; so hard that her body quakes.

  Not what I was expecting. “Gab?”

  “What if I
had gotten pregnant by someone else?” My heart sinks to my stomach and my hands freeze on the zipper of her jeans. What? “What if I had gotten an STD?” She’s starting to sob and I can’t breathe. I’ve never had that visual before, and I don’t like it. “This proves that I’m too trusting. I could have lost you forever had I gone all the way with someone else. I thought about it so many times, especially when I imagined you with other girls. I pushed myself thinking it’d make things easier, even though I never felt ready. There were times I got so close. One guy got the condom all the way on before I backed out. What if . . .”

  I hate imagining her with someone else. It’s a turn off, that’s for sure. But the bigger problem is how upset she is at a time that she’s normally horny. Not much stands between Gabby and sex, especially when it’s sex resulting from one of us being pissed off. She’s always used her body to get her way with me. It’ll never stop working. I know that. She knows that. It’s no secret I have an unnatural attraction to Gabrielle Thanos. “Gab, what are you talking about? No one else got you pregnant. I did.”

  She finally looks up at me, her face soaked and eyes red. “Yeah, because I haven’t slept with anyone else. But what if I had? I don’t think you’re fully grasping this situation. Most people don’t go years without sex, Mad; not after they’ve done it regularly for almost a year. Look at us. Barely any time back together and I’m pregnant . . . again. Apparently it’s easy for me to get pregnant. I could probably look at your dick and get knocked up. I thought I was on birth control. Those years apart weren’t easy for me. Some were really fucking hard. Do you know how many times I thought that if I could just go all the way with someone else then maybe I could move on from you? What if I had met someone that I liked right then, trusted him, and let him inside me like I let you inside me. What if I had gotten stuck raising a baby with someone I didn’t love? My dad made me think I was protected, and this whole time . . . I wasn’t. All these years. Had something happened you wouldn’t have wanted me back. I. Don’t. Understand.” She’s wheezing. “. . . these feelings. I love and hate him at the same time. He could have taken me away from you.”