Finding Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  He stares at me with his piercing blue eyes. It’s his best feature. “After all this time, I think I finally get his snaps, but coming from a guy, don’t compare. Living messy isn’t the same for everyone. Guys are wired different. Sleeping around isn’t moving on. It’s acting out. And had you seen him after an episode you’d never want to live messy. He was fucked up over you, Gabby, and I haven’t seen half of what Riggan has seen. The right girl has a way of getting in and burrowing so deep that you bleed out when she’s gone.”

  It dawns on me what we’re talking about. “How on God’s green earth did we get on this topic? What are you even doing in here? Didn’t they just step out to get firewood when I came in here. Now the hot chocolate is probably cold. I should beat your ass. Don’t mess with a pregnant girl and her chocolate.”

  He grins at me. “I need a favor.”

  “I’m fresh out of those. Seems like every time I do Maddox a favor I end up pregnant.”

  “Nice try. You’re the only one I trust to do it. This is what you get for being my adopted twin.”

  I pick up my mug and take a sip. If he’s going to con me into doing shit by using that friend card, I’m going to enjoy my Christmas cocoa. “What’s in it for me?”

  “Being the first one to confirm the sex of the baby.”

  “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, man. Way to play my ovaries against me. So you haven’t seen the goods?”

  “Yes, and I have a pretty solid guess, but we didn’t get it confirmed. It’s in an envelope.”

  “If you took Biology it’s not rocket science, Baker. Not to mention you’ve had sex. You know what they look like. You have one part and Presley has the other. Did you forget I had a boy? The pecker is there or not. It’s not that hard to guess. How is that fun for me? You should have taken me with you and turned your head when it was time. I could have waited outside for the bonding couple part.”

  “You tell me this shit now,” he deadpans. “I’m a guy. Do I look like I plan chick shit to you? Where was this idea when we were like ‘we’re going to find out the sex’ right before we left the house?”

  I huff. “Must I do everything for you? First, it’s fake hookups. Then it’s being your psychiatrist and roommate. Let’s not forget friendship obligations like answering your texts from time to time to confirm I’m alive and showing up at your concert. Now it’s plan your gender reveal. I’m going to start charging.”

  His mouth tilts. “Don’t act like you don’t love me. I handed you Maddox on a silver platter.”

  “You’re going to hold that over my head forever, aren’t you? Most would consider it a coincidence.”

  “Only when you hold shit over mine. I thought we had a mutual thing going.”

  “Drink this or you’re going to be responsible for handing your pregnant wife cold chocolate milk when she wanted hot.” I hand him a mug and go to get the chocolate milk out of the refrigerator to make more. “How do I go from adopted sister to twin?”

  “I turned twenty-one like nine days before you. Did you forget our birthdays are close together?”

  I stare at the waterfall of chocolate as I pour it in the pot. “No,” I chirp.

  He laughs. “Yeah you did, and to think, when we met, I thought you’d be closer to Presley and my sister’s age.”

  “Okay fine,” I whine, turning around. “I’m a sucky friend. I forgot. I’m shit at birthdays. I only remember mine and Maddox’s because they’re holidays. Mine is Halloween and his is New Year’s Day. Madden, well, that’s my son. I pushed him out of my vagina. I should remember something so horrific. As an apology, I’ll do your little reveal thing and then we’re even. Got it?”

  He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out an envelope, putting it on the bar, and then he slides it over to me. I pick it up and hold it to the light, but I don’t see anything. The things I do for my friends.

  “You know, it’s funny you say twin. You could probably pass as my dad’s kid.” I mull over that for a moment before my Grinch grin comes out. “Are you coming to Greece for the wedding?”

  “Yes. I’m not missing either of you get married and I’m almost positive Presley and Sayler are more excited than you. They’re planning an entire vacation out of it, as in Sayler has already roped her parents into babysitting and Presley mine. All they’re waiting for is you to set a date.”

  “It’d be so much fun to play with my grandfather and get back at my dad in a way that doesn’t cause him physical harm. My grandfather hates dirty secrets and extramarital affairs. It’s why he hates my mother. They’re all about image and reputation. My dad hates to look bad, in front of my grandfather especially. Impregnating two women at once would definitely stir the pot.”

  “There is one little problem with your plan.”

  I sip on my cocoa. “What?”

  “Your dad has already seen me. Don’t you think it’d throw up a red flag for lies if your roommate suddenly is your brother from a dirty affair?”

  “Yeah, but my grandfather hasn’t seen you. My dad would know it was fake if you showed up claiming to be his son. He never cheated on my mom. My grandfather, however, isn’t so levelheaded and slow to act. He’ll blow up and tear my dad a new asshole before he can even deny it. They’ll both get pissed at me. It’ll be great. Next time they’ll think before keeping massive secrets from me for years . . . like the fact they had my son this entire time! My life wouldn’t have been so hellacious had I known he was with my family until I was older. Even not having him, I could have still dealt with it.”

  He shakes his head and grins. “I should have known you’d be a terrorizing troublemaker when you were smoking weed out in the open at a high-class party and lying about your last name to avoid me finding out you were secretly a rich kid like the rest of us.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I wave the envelope. “What exactly do you want me to do with this?”

  A large body takes up my peripheral vision and my heart starts to race. That feeling will never get old. I don’t look to see who it is. I don’t need to. “Maddox.”

  “I will never like this.”

  Me and Konnor smile at each other at the same time. Oh, but I do. And teasing him about it won’t ever get old either. I lose the smile. “Konnor here was just asking if we’d swing with him and Presley. Apparently that’s the new thing among friends.” You bitch, he mouths, trying to stop smiling and failing. I glance at Maddox. If looks could kill I’d be dead already. “What do you think? Wanna do it?”

  “I think some motherfucker is about to be buried in the Rockies, band mate be damned.”

  My grin spreads so wide my cheeks hurt, and I throw back at him a phrase from earlier. “I’m just kidding, baby.”

  “You vengeful bitch. The second you walk into that bedroom I’m going to hurt you. Watch your back.”

  I wriggle my eyebrows. “Oh, angry Maddox sex. Fun times. Promise?”

  “On everything I own.”

  “Still wanna marry me?”

  “Fuck yes.”

  “You know, now that you two are together, I can’t un-see you together. It’s weird,” Konnor says. “So, why don’t you do this shit together too. Pretty sure Presley bought everything under the sun that you can buy because we have to video it for family and social media. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. Between you two obsessed, possessive goofballs it’s bound to be fun. The arsenal of tools is in the duffle bag in the back of the SUV.”

  I turn off the stovetop, getting excited. “What are we doing?” Maddox asks as me and Konnor pass him at the same time to walk through the oversized doorway.

  “Gender reveal practice,” I tell him, just before he shoves Konnor forward ahead of me.

  He gains his footing and turns around, bowing his chest out. “What the fuck was that for, Maddox?”

  Can’t say I blame him. That was dirty. I glance back at Maddox. “Why did you do that? I told you I was joking about earlier. Do you seriously think he’d ask that? Cut the bullshit
.”

  “No way in fuck are you two kissing again. I’m not going down that road,” he says, looking between us.

  I glance at Konnor, the confusion on both of our faces. I’m even getting pissed at this point. “What the hell are you talking about, Maddox?”

  “That’s my bad!” Sayler shouts from where she’s sitting against the arm of the couch staring at us with her feet laid across it under a blanket, her hand on her very pregnant belly as the flames of the fireplace flicker. Riggan is already walking over here, shaking his head.

  He passes Konnor, and then stops right before stepping into the doorway, facing Maddox, and reaches up to grab something. I glance up as he jerks the mistletoe from where it’s hanging and throws it at Maddox. Oh . . . “Would you chill the fuck out? It was a honeymoon thing. There is one in every doorway if you’d like to walk around taking them down. But it’s also a Christmas thing, jackass. Sayler likes Christmas traditions. No one has to participate that doesn’t want to just because it’s there. Every fucking girl here is knocked up ‘cause we can’t keep our dicks out of them. You and me both know Landon sure as hell isn’t interested in anyone here. Konnor is married for Christ’s sake.”

  He tosses the mistletoe back. “Oh, yeah, because that made a difference the first time. Why are you telling me to chill the fuck out? I’m not even mad. All I did was push him ahead of her to make sure they walked under it at different times. I believe in prevention.”

  I bust out laughing, unable to help it. That was funny as hell. They all look at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Sure you do. Your six-year-old clone with my eyes and the ultrasound yesterday showing baby B proves that’s a damn lie. Absence does not make our hearts grow fonder; it makes babies.”

  He grins. “I prevent the things I want to prevent. I never said knocking you up was one of them. Wanna go three for three?”

  I point at him. “I’m not leaving that fucking hospital without idiot proof birth control. The next time I piss on a stick with two pink lines it’s going to be because we were trying for it. No more uh-ohs.”

  “Maybe. That’s half the fun. It’s like shooting in the dark and later finding out you hit the target. Why make it awkward. It’s not like our kids are stair steps from each other. They’ll be almost seven years apart.”

  My mouth drops. “Well I would hope so considering I was fourteen with the first one!”

  “Okay, well that one was a real accident. I was not trying to get it in the goal at eighteen.”

  I squint at him. “Yet somehow you always get nothing but net.” I hold out my hand to Konnor. “Keys.”

  The second I feel them in my hand I turn and walk off, because at this point, if I look at him the wrong way I may end up with twins.

  Sixty-Two

  Maddox

  Landon walks in with an armful of firewood to add to the fire. He wasn’t able to make our flight between getting in from a half hitch at work and packing and all, so he got here later, which is why we had to wait. I don’t think any of them realize it’s a miracle he agreed to come, because he had to take off—something he rarely does. He has to video the whole thing according to Gabby.

  Sitting on the couch next to Konnor, I drink on my beer just like he is as we watch Landon poke the embers while everyone else does what they’re supposed to be doing. “He was fucking my sister-in-law, wasn’t he?”

  I pause with the rim of the bottle to my lips. “What makes you think that?”

  “He’s completely back to being the ‘normal’ Landon. The one that barely speaks unless he’s being a smartass and stays to himself. I thought we were finally getting somewhere. Then, it dawned on me that Paxtyn wasn’t really Paxtyn and Landon wasn’t really Landon. There’s one thing missing from the equation.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lie. I’m not going to be the one to open that can of worms, and considering she’s underage, I’m not saying shit. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t roll on my friends.

  He stares at me as he drinks from his beer. Then he grins. “I don’t know why you want to lie. She has a daddy. It’s not me. If you think I give a shit you don’t know Paxtyn. If she wants something, she’s going to get it. Unlike a lot of girls, she knows she’s hot and uses it in her favor. There isn’t a guy within a California mile that would turn her down aside from her relatives and me. She’s like her mother on steroids. Controlling like her dad. Hateful as they come when she wants to be.”

  My lips curl. “How long have you known?”

  “I started seeing the signs after she left. I grew up with Paxtyn. I know how she acts. She thinks she’s opaque but she’s pretty translucent if you’ve known her as long as I have. Her and Presley have never been that close because of the age difference between them and because of my sister being the same age as Presley, who was pretty much like her sister. It makes a difference for kids that grow up in stages and transition between different phases. She was still playing with toys when Presley was getting into friends and boys. Paxtyn likes to pretend she doesn’t care. Presley plays along because they’re actually closer when they pretend they hate each other. I don’t really get it, but it’s like they try harder or something. And then there’s the whole fact that her Instagram has gotten a lot vainer than usual. She’s trying to impress someone. I also may have walked up behind Landon and saw him scrolling through her posts before he knew I was there. He was looking and not liking.”

  “Yeah, but it likely won’t go anywhere, so it was kind of pointless.”

  We stare straight ahead as Landon adds the last log and stands. Konnor finishes off his beer and scoots to the edge of the couch like he’s about to get up. He grins. “Yeah, probably not.”

  Blondie walks in the living room wearing one of Riggan’s white tee shirts like she was told to do. Probably more of a waddle than a walk. The shirt is snug because of her belly, but that’ll probably work better for what it’s going to be used for. Riggan follows her everywhere like she’s days from going into labor. She still has to go through all of January.

  Konnor walks over to Gabby when she enters holding blindfolds and turns around. I watch her put it on him and tie it in the back, unable to look away. Regardless of all the things I’ve done, seeing her touch on another guy even in platonic ways is hard for me. I’ve never truly understood my feelings for her, let alone the jealousy, but I’ve always known she’s the love of my life, and yeah, maybe that makes me a little psycho.

  Gabby walks over to Riggan, holding out another one. “Why do I have to be blindfolded? It’s not my kid.”

  “Be a good sport. It makes it more fun.”

  I finish off my beer and set it on the coffee table as I stand. The sun is starting to set, and the girls all wanted to go outside and sit around the fire pit at nightfall. I rub my hands together. “I guess it’s time to get this party started.”

  “Wait!” Presley blurts out. “I feel like I’m forgetting something. Give me a minute. This has to be perfect.”

  Someone starts pounding on the door. Everyone looks around at each other. “Are you expecting someone?” Gabby asks Presley.

  She shrugs like she has no clue who it could be and then starts to walk away. “Landon, do you mind seeing who it is?”

  He looks at me from across the room where he’s sitting in a chair wearing a Santa hat and holding a can of beer, with about as much confusion as me. He hasn’t shaved in several days, and with his lack of smile he reminds me of Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. I’m closer to the door by most of the room. There is obviously a reason she wants him to do it, because Presley isn’t a bitch. “Everyone knows you’re the asshole by now. If someone is selling something or trying to recruit people for a religion we don’t believe in, you can tell them to get lost with no remorse.”

  He shakes his head and stands, taking his beer with him as he walks out of the main space. Konnor’s comment comes back to me. Yeah, probably not. I glance at Presley when he’s out of earshot
. “What did you do? Who’s here?”

  Her cheeks are rosy, and it’s definitely not because it’s hot in here. “What makes you think I did anything?”

  Liar.

  Landon

  The pounding on the door hasn’t let up yet. It sounds like a fist beating against the heavy wood. It’s loud, irritating, and quickly sparking anger. I like the quiet. I hear enough loud shit at work between the machines and trying to talk over them. “Alright! I’m coming.”

  I grip the door handle and try to rip it open, only it does nothing because it’s locked, making my anger escalate. I unlock it, ready to tear someone a new asshole. There is no good reason to bang on the fucking door. A growl sounds as it cracks to open. “I’m going to kill her for locking me out in the cold!” A female voice screams, turning away from the door just as I jerk it open. Tight jeans, gray suede boots, white puffy jacket and a plaid scarf. Long hair—top brown, bottom blonde. God, what an ass.

  I stare at it as she speed walks down the driveway, leaving a very familiar suitcase in front of the door. I lean into the doorframe, one side of my mouth pulling up. “This is becoming a habit,” I call out, halting her mid-step. She just stands there, staring straight ahead, making my heart rate speed up. I haven’t seen her since November. I’ve pulled up her contact in my phone a few times to text her but thought better of it. I only do things that make sense. Getting involved with her does not. “Shouldn’t you have a key if your parents own this place?”